Men Just Don’t Critique Women’s Bodies Enough – Danish Talk Show Host Aims To Fix That

shutterstock_91287602I was sitting around this morning feeling a deep void in my soul. I was thinking, Gosh, I wish men would be more vocal about what they thought about women’s bodies. Because, as you know, we don’t get critiqued, picked apart, and held up to impossible standards of beauty enough. At forty, do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard, Nice ass! Nice tits! You’re prettier when you smile! I’m sure I couldn’t count. Well, Danish talk show host Thomas Blachman doesn’t think women get enough input from men about the state of their bodies. He’s created a talk show titled, Blachman to fill that void.

“I told them the entire idea of the show is to let men talk about the bodies of naked women while the woman is standing right in front of them,” reports the Daily Mail. “The female body thirsts for words. The words of a man. And they went for it.”

Gross. Where do I even start with this? As a bartender, you can not imagine the number of times I have been privy to men meticulously analyzing the appearance of a woman. She’s got nice boobs but her face is kinda wrecked. She looks pretty old but she still has nice legs. Many times I have wanted to say, Do you own a mirror? Who the hell are you to be critiquing anyone? This is exactly how I felt when I watched footage from this new show. It consists of two middle-aged, bloated men creepily eyeing the bodies of naked beautiful women and offering up their commentary.

It’s in Danish, so I have absolutely no idea what they are saying. The Daily Mail was kind enough to supply some translations:

“I’ve always been an a** man.”

“How’s that p****’ working out for you?”

“Very animated nipples.”

Hmm. Good for you for being an ass man. That’s quite an accomplishment. I’m about to shoot a baby out of my p****, so I guess it’s working out great for me and my nipples are about to sustain life for the next year. Somehow I don’t think these are the kinds of retorts he is looking for – but then again, this show obviously isn’t for women.

I can’t wait until a woman gets up in front of this douche bag with a c-section scar – or God forbid – some cellulite. This show is doing nothing for women and I seriously don’t know a man who would be entertained by this either. Then again – I don’t surround myself with disgusting ego-maniacal men with no self-awareness – so what do I know? Maybe it will be a hit.

(photo: alejandro dans neergaard/ Shutterstock)

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  • LiteBrite

    “Very animated nipples?” Well, there’s one I haven’t heard before….

    To be fair, I’ve heard plenty of woman talk about men in this same fashion (not saying it’s right though). I imagine this show will get boring very quickly. But then again, I’m not Danish.

    • EmmaFromÉire

      I’m struggling trying to imagine what exactly makes a nipple ‘animated’

    • Makabit

      I can only assume that in Danish it has some implication of ‘perky’, or something of the sort. No other interpretation seems possible for nipples.

  • Tea

    To be perfectly honest, I’ll keep this kind of talk as something I whisper to my husband to, discretely appreciate a moment, and then move on. I could not imagine saying any of that to anyone, and even someone who did want an honest critique would not be told it in bro-speak. Ask for a critique, and I’ll kick into Gay Best Friend™ mode for you.

    I’m pretty sure this is in no way empowering or confidence building, it just sounds sketchy. Like, ” Men eyeing girls in the food court – The Show!”

  • chickadee

    This reminds me of a ridiculous show aired years ago called ‘Hot or Not,’ although that show critiqued men as well.

    And what sort of woman signs up for a naked, televised critique? This is such a horrific idea.

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  • Ashley

    Oh. My lord. This makes me want to vomit in their faces.

  • Sandy

    As a Dane- im so so sorry! I dont know what my fellow countrymen drank to allow this shit on public licenced television… (yup thats out taxmoney paying for that)

    The host is our Simon Cowell – without the charm and a lot more condecending. He claims its a tribute to the female body A challenge on the stereotype of how men view the female body….

    Again I am so sorry. I assure you that most of us is NOT like that

    • Maureen Sagan

      I believe you, Scandinavians have more gender equality than we do in America, so it is surprising a show like this became popular.

    • Sandy

      Its not really popular per se. Its more of a “see the donkey” thing. Or thats what I choose to believe in order to have faith in humanity

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