shutterstock_91287602I was sitting around this morning feeling a deep void in my soul. I was thinking, Gosh, I wish men would be more vocal about what they thought about women’s bodies. Because, as you know, we don’t get critiqued, picked apart, and held up to impossible standards of beauty enough. At forty, do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard, Nice ass! Nice tits! You’re prettier when you smile! I’m sure I couldn’t count. Well, Danish talk show host Thomas Blachman doesn’t think women get enough input from men about the state of their bodies. He’s created a talk show titled, Blachman to fill that void.

“I told them the entire idea of the show is to let men talk about the bodies of naked women while the woman is standing right in front of them,” reports the Daily Mail. “The female body thirsts for words. The words of a man. And they went for it.”

Gross. Where do I even start with this? As a bartender, you can not imagine the number of times I have been privy to men meticulously analyzing the appearance of a woman. She’s got nice boobs but her face is kinda wrecked. She looks pretty old but she still has nice legs. Many times I have wanted to say, Do you own a mirror? Who the hell are you to be critiquing anyone? This is exactly how I felt when I watched footage from this new show. It consists of two middle-aged, bloated men creepily eyeing the bodies of naked beautiful women and offering up their commentary.

It’s in Danish, so I have absolutely no idea what they are saying. The Daily Mail was kind enough to supply some translations:

“I’ve always been an a** man.”

“How’s that p****’ working out for you?”

“Very animated nipples.”

Hmm. Good for you for being an ass man. That’s quite an accomplishment. I’m about to shoot a baby out of my p****, so I guess it’s working out great for me and my nipples are about to sustain life for the next year. Somehow I don’t think these are the kinds of retorts he is looking for – but then again, this show obviously isn’t for women.

I can’t wait until a woman gets up in front of this douche bag with a c-section scar – or God forbid – some cellulite. This show is doing nothing for women and I seriously don’t know a man who would be entertained by this either. Then again – I don’t surround myself with disgusting ego-maniacal men with no self-awareness – so what do I know? Maybe it will be a hit.

(photo: alejandro dans neergaard/ Shutterstock)