• Sun, Apr 21 2013

If Having A Baby Improves Your Social Life, I’m Definitely Doing Something Wrong

shutterstock_88916575__1366546754_142.196.167.223A new poll conducted by a company that makes natural cotton products for kids says that women make more friends after the birth of a child. If this is true, I am definitely doing something wrong.

Nature’s Purest, a UK-based company, polled 2,000 new moms to see how their social behaviors changed after the birth of a child. Surprisingly (to me, anyway), most new moms admitted to increasing their social circles after the birth of a child. More than half of the 2,000 mothers polled admitted it was easier to bond with other women once they became a mother. The Daily Mail reports:

53 per cent of new mothers felt it was surprisingly easy to make friends after having a baby, and 70 per cent of those said it was because they had so much ‘in common’.

The study also found 16 per cent of those who took part in the poll said they had a better social life after having children as they had so much more free time to meet up with people.

I get the “having more in common” part – but having “so much more free time to meet up with people?” Seriously? Yeah – I’m doing something wrong.

Most of these women are meeting other mothers in playgroups and childcare classes. Admittedly, I didn’t participate in a lot of those. I will say that the few times I did meet a mother I liked, we sort of desperately clung to each other like some sort of buoy in a flood. I seemed to strike fast friendships with the few new moms I did make. I think you are definitely more inclined to quickly swap phone numbers in that scenario.

I think my biggest problem was living out of my social circle. The neighborhood where we lived for the first few years of my child’s life was filled with affluent city-couples I didn’t have much in common with and single professionals that I always seemed to click with more. I worked at night, and during the day it was usually me and a bunch of nannies at the park.

Now that I have moved to a more suburban existence, I am already looking into some playgroups and such. Frankly, I have no friends here yet, so I don’t really care if the ones I make are moms or not. I just want to meet some women to hang out with on occasion. Maybe that’s my problem – I’ve never really prioritized making “mom friends,” I’ve always just tried to connect with people I like.

A spokeswoman for Natures Purest, the company that commissioned the study, said: ‘There is a misconception in society that starting a family will mean you are stuck indoors but it’s simply not true.

Our research shows the opposite – becoming a mum can do wonders for your social life as there are so many groups and activities to become involved with.’

Okay. I’ll take your word for it.

(2xSamara.com/ Shutterstock.com)

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  • LadyClodia

    I do take my boys to baby gym classes, but in the 3 1/2 years we’ve been going I’ve only really made one mom friend, and we moved and then fell out of touch. I talk to the other moms sometimes when we’re at class, but I’m not social friends with any of them. The only mom friend I have here is my next door neighbor. I’m not good at making friends in general, so short of talking I don’t really know what to do. The boys are 3 years apart so it’s pretty difficult to set up a playdate at the moment unless the other mom has similarly aged kids.

  • CW

    I think it changes the mom’s social life. I made new friends among fellow moms while I drifted out of touch for a while with my old childless ones. Interestingly, once those old friends finally started having kids (I had my oldest at 25, while most of my high school and college friends waited until their early to mid 30′s), I often wound up even closer to them than I had been when we were both childless.

  • Jocelyn

    I the UK, as in Canada where I live, moms get an extended maternity leave from work. I’m about to go back as my daughter turns one next month. Since I’ve had an entire year at home I have been more social – doing lots of baby-centric activities and meeting other moms. Once I go back to work I hope I can keep those friendships going, but I can’t imagine trying to create them if I was back at work right after the birth of my daughter. I think that would be the difference between your experience and the study results.