• Tue, Apr 9 2013

Teen Attempts Suicide After Being Gang Raped By 4 Boys Who Also Thought It Would Be ‘Fun’ To Circulate Pictures Of Her Rape

Rehtaeh ParsonsUPDATE: Anonymous claims to have all four names of Rehtaeh Parsons’ alleged rapists.

About a year and a half ago, 15-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons was gang-raped at a party by four boys, according to her mother Leah Parsons. But to compound her pain, these little monsters also allegedly took pictures of her being raped and circulated them to her entire school. Just for rapey kicks. Somebody definitely failed to meet goal #1 in raising their sons — that being not raising rapists.

The Chronicle Herald in Canada reports Rehtaeh’s mom as saying:

“She went with a friend to another’s home. In that home, she was raped by four young boys,” wrote Leah Parsons.

“One of those boys took a photo of her being raped and decided it would be fun to distribute the photo to everyone in Rehtaeh’s school and community, where it quickly went viral.”

Needless to say, Rehtaeh wasn’t exactly going back to school where everyone was giddily passing around photos of her sexual assault (also known as child pornography given that she was underage). Especially when she was receiving messages like this, according to her mom:

“People texted her all the time, saying ‘Will you have sex with me?’” she remembered. “Girls texting, saying ‘You’re such a slut.’”

Her mother says that her teenager moved to a new town and checked into a hospital to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts (she eventually moved back to her hometown of Dartmouth). All the while, a year-long investigation into Rehtaeh’s rape concluded “insufficient evidence to lay charges,” says RCMP spokesman Cpl. Scott MacRae.

Other details regarding the investigation could not be shared reportedly due to privacy laws. But Rehtaeh’s mom isn’t pleased with how the investigation was executed:

“They didn’t even interview the boys until much, much later. To me, I’d think you’d get the boys right away, separate them.”

When it came to the photo or photos taken that night, “nothing was done about that because they couldn’t prove who had pressed the photo button on the phone,” she said.

She was told that the distribution of the photos is “not really a criminal issue, it’s more of a community issue,” she said.

“Even though she was 15 at the time, which is child pornography.

“The whole case was full of things like that. We didn’t have a rape kit done because we didn’t even know (anything had happened) until several days later when she had a breakdown in my kitchen.

“She was trying to keep it to herself.”

At 17, Rehtaeh was still experiencing “mood swings.” After an “outburst” last week, Rehtaeh locked herself in the bathroom and hung herself. Although she survived, she was ultimately taken off life support by her family.

Her mother has erected a Facebook page in her daughter’s memory. But no justice for those young men who thought that sexual assault was something to document and brag about. Sound familiar?

(photo: youtube.com)

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  • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

    This will serve as a reminder to let my daughter (if the baby I’m currently carrying is a girl) know that if anything like this happens (and I pray it doesn’t) to tell me right away. There will be no judgement and no lecture, just getting it reported and getting justice served.

    I have one son right now who will learn to respect women and know that it is NEVER okay to do this or condone it.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Your first responsibility, should be to teach your daughter not to mix with young men. It is a harsh truth and the rapists are ultimately responsible, but the parents of this girl are also responsible for allowing her to mix freely with young men and likely get drunk with them at parties. Had she gone to an all girl school and had strict parents that knew where she was at every moment and forbid her to party with boys, this never would have happened. If you allow your daughter to play in the streets wild dogs, she will be bitten, and it is partly your fault. Thumbs down all you like, but you are simply thumbing down reality.

    • canaduck

      Yeah, a young woman who has her parents lurking over her shoulder every second of every day and refuse to let her interact with members of the opposite sex–that sounds like a recipe for a healthy human being. Come on, asshole.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Does someone who hurls foul language at strangers sound like a “healthy human being”?

      A society cares for its young men and women by providing protection and education about the dangers of promiscuity while simultaneously providing a system of marriage by which the natural urges for sex can be expressed with dignity, and without self degradation and exploitation.

      That caring structure creates healthy human beings, not a society which thinks care and love is providing children with opportunities to degrade themselves with gross sensual exploits the adults wrongly value.

      Take a look around. Notice the rising tide of daily suicides and weekly school massacres. Does your morally relative society seem healthy?

    • Gangle

      Marriage protects young women from violence? Please. Tell that to my first husband, whom I only moved in with AFTER I married him. He was an abusive twat. Tell that to thousands of women who are raped by their husbands.
      Promiscuity in women doesn’t invite rape from men. It invites concentual, if meaningless, sex.

    • Guest

      I know you’re pushing religion, however subtle, but you are absolutely correct. Not that society was all that better years ago, but one thing is for sure: it isn’t improving.

    • Opi33

      The religious experience of parenting closely mirrors your points.

      Your premise, as I understand it, conveys that young men in American society do not care or feel compassion for women, and it would benefit young women to limit their interactions with men. I absolutely agree.

      In the more fundamentalist circles of the Sikh faith, which I entered after marrying into a religious family, young men and women develop friendships with the opposite gender primarily through engagement with various traditions (Sikh music/instruments, Sikh martial arts, Sikh conferences/camps). Pre-marital relationships are totally discouraged; boys are expected to treat girls like sisters, and vice versa. In Sikh circles, young fundamentalist Sikh women have outstanding conscientiousness and courage in the ugly face of the nihilism so pervasive in society. Similarly, Sikh men display the highest level of respect and compassion toward women that I have ever experienced.

      Unfortunately, I was brought up in a modern, non-religious family and will highlight the consequences of modernity: non-religious Punjabi/Indian males, unlike their Sikh counterparts, are known for being abusive/alcoholics. Meanwhile, young Punjabi women engage obsessively with common elements of American college culture — partying, drinking, and adhere strongly to male-driven (Western) concepts of beauty. From experience, I know that most of these women suffer deeply from insecurities.

      So how can young people brought up in Western settings with similar socio-linguistic backgrounds be so different? Simply put, the person of faith adopts values and a history that is larger than himself. The Sikh faith has always, from its birth in the 1400s, espoused the value of respect/love for women in its history (and by doing so, actively opposed the dominant attitudes toward women and female gender roles). In the context of the current issue, there is no question that if a man does not show a woman respect, he will be acting defiantly against Sikh values, and will be excluded from fundamentalist circles.

      This brings me to my last point. Compassion and fair treatment of women is not embedded in the history of the West or Western traditions. Thus, the solution of a “rape or sex ed convo” is merely an attempt to temporarily mask the symptoms of a hyper-violent and hyper-sexual culture. It is our spiritual self that is starving. Moral discipline and love for humanity needs to run through our blood; it shan’t need to be taught in a conversation with a teenager. The point is not to “teach” children to not rape a woman. Children and adults should naturally thrive from a great love and empathy for the other. They should willingly want to be the best human beings possible.

    • http://www.facebook.com/meg.gallagher.102 Meg Gallagher

      That is utter horse shit! Young men are not wild dogs — they are young men, and should fucking act like it. It’s people like you who are perpetuating this rape culture – blaming her or her parents for letting her get drunk with a bunch of boys. The boys should be better. They should act like human beings, and not animals. And people like you need to stop with this unforgivable “boys will be boys” attitude. Rape is never ok. ever.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      I said the boys are primarily responsible, but your hate makes you see otherwise. By advocating unrestricted association of young men and women, it is you who are perpetuating the rape culture.

      By the way, this standard is meant for the higher classes of society. Lower class people should be allowed to live as lawless as they like but should be prepared to accept the consequences. Judging by your foul language and irrational anger, I would say that you are not a higher class person, so don’t bother following my advice.

    • lea

      No, no, no. What perpetuates the rape culture is the belief that young men and young women cannot associate together safely.

      It implies that either party has no control over their own actions and that if they do something horrible (like force someone else to have sex with them) that it isn’t their fault, they can’t help it, it is inevitable. That is not only untrue, but incorrect and insulting.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      The term “young” implies that they are not responsible for their own actions. These persons are by law children, which means their parents are responsible.

      Why are the parents responsible and not the children? Precisely because their judgment is not mature. Their tendency will be to disregard safety.

      This situation could have been avoided if an adult had been present, don’t you agree?

      To say that young adults and children have no control over their own actions is not insulting. A baby literally has no control over its actions and therefore requires a mother. Society recognizes a person as mature enough to have control over themselves at approximately 18 years old.

      By the way, thank you for being polite and not insulting me, you are the first!

    • lea

      I disagree with you that “young” equates with an inability to be responsible for your own actions. Young people are must suffer the consequences of their actions all the time, and are disciplined for their behaviour. We don’t just let them run rampant and say to ourselves “oh well, it isn’t their fault, they can’t help it”. We reprimand and punish them for all manner of wrong doings. There are even juvenile correctional facilities that do just the following: hold teens and young adults accountable for their own actions.

      I agree that because of the physiological, psychological and developmental differences between teenagers/young adults and grown ups- that considerations need to be made for this. And the law (and society, I believe) does this fairly well.

      Regarding sexuality, I believe teens should be educated and encouraged to explore their sexuality safely. To think that segregation and abstinence will protect them is naive at best. If we are able to freely discuss what is and isn’t acceptable, and to help young adults find healthy ways to express themselves and to relate to each other- we will end up with more respectful and thoughtful adults.

      I agree sexuality is a powerful force, so it makes no sense to me to ignore it until adulthood, and then expect these same adults to be able to handle it much better. In recent discussions on this topic, the revelation that many young men (and I’m only using this as an example, young women are likely just as confused and uninformed) had absolutely no idea about what was unacceptable in terms of coercive sex with women horrified me. Do you think that by suddenly reaching adulthood, these beliefs and confusions will disappear? That makes no sense at all.

      Putting off any exploration of sexuality until marriage is, in my opinion, unhealthy. The marriages of yesteryear, where the couple were virgins until marriage (although, really that standard was only seriously applied to the women, men frequently had liaisons and affairs prior to and after marriage with little to no consequences) were not necessarily all that successful anyway. Sure they looked it, but women were trapped financially and socially- with no option to leave.

      I feel as though I’m talking in circles as I’m not able to be as articulate as I would like on the subject, unfortunately.

      I can see how your views would be appealing to you and to many others. But they won’t work. It has been tried, and it has failed. We need another approach.

      For me that approach seems obvious. Education.

      Anyway, it took no small measure of self control to not simply go off my brain and call you all sorts of insulting names- I’m sure you are aware that even the slightest of victim blaming can be met with outrage. You need to remember the societal context in which this discussion takes place, and that as women many of us will feel and have experienced things that are very hard for a man to understand.

      It is my belief that the short term relief I would have felt in venting my spleen, so to speak, would only be counterproductive in what is a very VERY important discussion.

      I thank you, too, for keeping your cool.

      (essay over… lol)

    • ParliamentHillCat1

      At 15..they know better..if they don’t..their fathers have done a poor job.

    • Kat

      But they aren’t babies. They’re young adults, and they’re called that because while they’re still young, they are most definitely adult enough to know that rape is unacceptable behavior. It doesn’t take a parent to learn that, only to reinforce it.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Furthermore, sexuality is a powerful force.

      A child of ten years old is not allowed to drive a car because the powerful force of the vehicle is greater than his level of maturity can dictate its safe usage.

      Similarly, a teen/child should not be allowed freedom to utilize their burgeoning sexuality according to impulse. It is a power which, misused, can destroy the lives of themselves and others.

      Just as when a child matures and attains a drivers license, representing the maturity to utilize that force in a responsible way, which is not harmful to themselves and others and conforms to the rules of the road, similarly when a young man and women mature they can enter into the license of matrimony and exercise their sexuality in a similarly responsible way.

    • Blueathena623

      I am enjoying your utter disdain for the lower socioeconomic classes. Who cares what the poor do, right? Who cares what happens to them.

    • nightcristal@gmail.com

      Because when the poor continually f*ck up. Its the middle class and higher classes that have to make up for it…($$$$$)

    • XxCyberTitanxX

      so basically your “higher class” than i because of your language, so lower because and middle class people are what to you???. Rape should have no standards, rape is wrong period. so basically parents have to know everything about there child’s life and that children/ teenagers/ young adults have to not talk to any guy if they are a girl because all boys are like the ones that did this??? clearly you have no idea what you are talking about. you are not in a higher class than anyone. we are all equal girls are as just responsible as boys because it works both ways.

    • Marisol de la Luz

      FUCK OFF DIABLO…. Go find your Harvard friends, you elitist FUCK. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU SEXIST PIG DIABLO… Leave the community alone, go find some other site to condescend to and trash w/ your ludicrous claims about knowing so much about rape culture and feminism, two subjects, you could never fully understand, nor do I care to teach you about.

    • Jenjen

      For you to put blame on a rape victim & the victims parents, instead of the rapists, is just sick & disgusting. Next your going to say that a child that’s been molested is a fault & so are their parents. Forget about putting blame on the sicko rapists & molesters. Parents can do all the right things & still you can never protect your kids 100%, not because of lack of trying, because there are just sick predators out there. I always say that everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, whether its right or wrong. As for my opinion,for what you said & think, your no better than a rapists or molester & I bet your one of those women that like to stalk & send fan mail to rapists & killers in jail. Again, my opinion, something we’re all allowed to have whether its right or wrong, or if others agree or disagree.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Again, somehow you people value hyper emotion over rational argument and do not bother to read what I say. You have some kind of preconceived prejudices about this issue which you project upon me.

      I said the rapists are primarily responsible as well as their parents, then, to a lesser degree, her parents and finally society in general.

    • once upon a time

      The rapists aren’t primarily responsible. They’re wholly responsible.

    • Gangle

      Thank you.
      THAT is what I call ‘rational thinking’. Not the psycho-babble Diablo is crapping on with.

    • Guest

      I wouldn’t possible agree more.

    • Kat

      Oh, shut up about the “people on this site.” Why participate then? The way I see it, there can only be one answer…

    • Cee

      So, by your rationale, young men and women should be separated to avoid any trouble? That constitutes a parents lack of responsibility, to you, if I am not mistaken, right?

      Separating a whole group of people from another is not responsible parenting. It is being lazy at its best because you refuse to teach a young man or a young woman how the world works by avoiding it. Instead of addressing situations, you just want to make it go away by separating boys from girls and neither of them wins. How will young men and young women interact? Should young women believe all young men are rapists? Are all young men rapists? Do rapists grow out of being rapists when they are older? What do we do with young men while they grow to be non rapists as grown men? How does this benefit either sex? Evidence of any of this?

      Whats the correlation between bad parenting and having tattoos? Any studies to back it up? Did it say “I have bad parents, they were not watching me while I got this”?

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Please read my reply to Jenjen below, if you are interested. Obviously it is hard to have a meaningful and well rounded conversation on such a delicate and complex subject using a comments thread.

    • Blueathena623

      Note, its not even “being separated” — the original comment was to keep girls from boys. So apparently boys can do what they like, but girls have to be kept away?

    • Tinyfaeri

      That’s what towers are for, didn’t you know?

    • meteor_echo

      Your first responsibility should be not to rape. Your second responsibility should be not to blame rape victims, but the rapists instead. Take a seat and shut up.

    • Ana

      The fact that a parent lets their child have a tattoo doesn’t constitute as bad parenting, nor does it indicate that they aren’t being protective. People simply have different values.

      Your argument that parents shouldn’t let their children mix with “wild dogs” is hardly valid. Most parents do their best to protect their children but there is a limit to how well they can do this. What teenager hasn’t successfully lied to their parents growing up about their whereabouts, who they’re with, what they’re doing, despite all the warnings the parents give? And how many headlines have we seen where a child’s molester are those that are the most trusted by the unsuspecting family?

      In any case, had I been a victim, I would never have put the blame on my parents for failing to teach me the evils of young men or the world for that matter. I’m sure you wouldn’t either.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Please refer to my exhaustive reply to Jenjen below. If you are interested in an elaboration on my perspective. I think you are genuinely open minded, it is hard to repeat myself continuously, although I value your post.

    • Guest

      You, sir, are a douchecanoe.

    • Responsility rocks

      Yes , it does. She was still a child. You should not be able to get a tattoo until you are legally an adult. It’s called white trash.

    • http://twitter.com/KatyWelte Katy Welte

      Fuck you.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Thank you. I was trying to formulate a reply and you did it for me.

    • http://twitter.com/KatyWelte Katy Welte

      Some days just don’t call for subtlety :)

    • Stef

      Are you fucking stupid? She has a full arm tattoo so that somehow justifies her rape?

      So women should basically never leave the house is what you’re saying? Because there’s young men out there everywhere. No body is thumbing down reality but merely thumbing down the excuse making of a moron. Your attitude is sickening and things like this keep happening because of this foul mentality. The young men should be punished, not the girl.

    • Gangle

      Girl gets tattoo. Girl socialises with boys. Girl gets raped. Tattoo + boys = rape. Somehow, I don’t think so. Your reasoning sucks.

      Sounds like a whole lotta victim blaming to me.

    • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

      Don’t tell me what my responsibility is as a parent. There are so many things wrong with your statement, I don’t know where to start and I will not engage it further because there is no reasoning with you, clearly.

    • ParliamentHillCat1

      You are such a joke. This is the problem with Canadians today. They play the victims not the fuckers who do the rape. You’re such an idiot. You should shoved into a sack along with those rapists and huge bolder and thrown into the ocean!!!

    • http://twitter.com/marisasaystweet MarisaSays

      This is of the more disgusting and ignorant comments I’ve ever read. I’m sure everyone else has/will tell you why. You are so, so wrong.

    • http://twitter.com/snerber Snobo

      “Your first responsibility, should be to teach your daughter not to mix with young men”

      Totally. Men are shit. Why have anything to do with them. Let’s keep them locked in cages since they can’t even be trusted not to rape people.

    • Gangle

      Yes, and if they even THINK about girls in an inappropriate way, chop their nuts off. We don’t need them for breeding anyway. That is what artificial insemination is.

    • http://twitter.com/snerber Snobo

      It’s not like semen’s hard to get. If we feel like reproducing, we can just swab some fresh spooge off their jizz-encrusted cage bars.
      But men shouldn’t be allowed to mix among general society since they’re clearly incapable of self control and basic human decency, as El Diablo and many others making the exact same argument have clearly and repeatedly explained.

    • Kat

      Aye! ::raspberry::

    • Kat

      That’s awful. If you don’t think you’re conveying an ignorant message, you’re not thinking before you speak. What if this were your daughter? Oh, but it wouldn’t be because you wouldn’t allow your daughter to ask for it with tattoos! Ugh!

    • BR

      Thank you. I will have to teach my son the same. It is going to be awkward, but I am going to have to have a talk with him that it is never OK to have sex with another person who is passed out or drunk, or incapable of giving consent.

  • Justme

    Wasn’t there a case where people were charged and convicted of a crime because their bullying actions led to the suicide of a young girl? Could this apply here or was that a special case because (if I remember correctly) the perpetrator actually used the phrase “you should kill yourself” or something similar?

    And…is her name Heather, but just backwards?

    • Makabit

      Yes, I think it’s ‘Heather’ reversed, just as the popular ‘Nevaeh’ is ‘heaven’ backward.

  • Pingback: Killing them softly: How rape stories going viral is killing our kids | The Sin City Siren

  • El Diablo Matamoros

    I hate to be the one to interject harsh truth into an atmosphere of outrage and I understand the dislikes I will receive, but the reality is the parents are partly responsible.

    Traditionally western society, like most civilized peoples, kept their male and female children separate from the time of adolescence until marriage. This was practiced especially among the higher classes. The rejection of this restriction, has made these sort of tragedies a regular occurrence. The parents should not of allowed a fifteen year old child to go to a party with young men and (likely) become intoxicated. They should have kept her from such bad association and known where she was at all times.

    Of course, in modern liberal America’s long decline into animal behavior, rather than re-institute the traditional separation of the sexes, such as separate schooling, which is ironically seen as archaic, we will plunge headlong into the self destructive course of annihilating all moral subjectivity. “If their was no moral judgements against promiscuity, this would have never happened, therefore morality itself is the villain”. In this way the last vestiges of human civilization are torn down to soften the blow of the general collapse.

    The rapists and their parents are primarily responsible, the her parents share some of the guilt, followed by the general society which acquiesces to moral decay.

    • missiemeghan

      Four out of ten comments are yours, saying the same thing over and over. You’ve said your piece, you are horribly wrong, please move on.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      As far as “moving on”, I have a right to defend my opinion once I have given it. If even one person accurately portrayed my position, I wouldn’t have to continually clarify it.

      If I hurl insults at you and misinterpret what you said, you will undoubtedly reply.

      What exactly is horrible wrong? You make a judgment with no reasonable argument behind it, as if your opinion is self evidently true.

    • Makabit

      “You make a judgment with no reasonable argument behind it, as if your opinion is self evidently true.”

      Pot, kettle…oh the humanity!

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      I have given multiple arguments based on reason and logic throughout this comment thread and I doubt you have read one.

      You baseless charge of hypocrisy is itself argumentum ad hominem.

    • Jen

      You have given multiple arguments based on YOUR reason and logic. Which clearly isn’t the same reason and logic that others subscribe to. Your assertion that had her parents simply kept her separate from boys to “protect” her, would have done her a disservice. By what I can tell from your MULTIPLE replies, you advocate a “tucking away” of females. That creates either a sense of fear in young woman of men, which in no way lends itself to a healthy relationship down the road. It also makes it so females would have no idea how to behave around males and by separating them, they lose the ability to learn how to voice their opinion (respectfully) to others. Its a disservice to BOTH sexes to not let them interact. It’s our job as parents, teachers, counselors, beloved aunts/uncles, friends to TEACH children how to behave. While we think of it as being polite and saying please and thank you, it also includes respecting others, not just their opinions but their bodies. DO NOT RAPE. and if you are ever harmed in that way TELL SOMEONE. The “reason” and “logic” you site suggests that women aren’t capable of taking care of themselves and that males aren’t capable of resisting urges. You might not directly say it but that’s the implication of “separating” sexes. Part of parents allowing kids to go out and do things without stalking them are so kids can make mistakes and learn to stand up for themselves without mom shouting her support in the moment. Because that’s reality. Your responses sound like victim blaming and blaming her parents. It sounds like you are saying that because she was young and had tattoos and went to parties (something btw clearly many other kids did) and she drank that somehow being raped was her fault. No you didn’t SAY it was but you’re implying that had she just stayed home like a good girl does and not drank this wouldn’t have happened. What others are suggesting is that if we teach our kids NOT TO HURT OTHERS then when mistakes happen they aren’t compounded by trauma. You speak nothing of teaching our children not to bully people who are traumatized nor of teaching young people not to hurt others. Your responses all smack of 1950′s thoughts of “women belong at home”. Young boys can go and drink and party, but, tsk tsk, those girls? Tsk-tsk, those girls are asking to be raped if they do!

    • malalou

      No, you’ve given arguments based on your sense of morality, not reason nor logic. I happen to agree with some of what you say, that upbringing is important. Parental involvement. That it is important to instill empathy (and the principle of non-aggression) – in your kids, and educate them about consequences for their actions, that they must choose friends wisely, etc. But you can’t make their choices for them. You know, some of the most strictly-raised children I knew as a kid were some of the worst in terms of rebellion when we hit our teens. The more you try to control them, the more they rebel. AND – when you set before them a moral code that is full of shame, guilt and sex negativity, the consequences are: linking alcohol with sex, sneaking around, shaming and bullying each other, teen pregnancy, terrible suffering – and in this young woman’s case – suicide. Simple psychology. This is a cultural problem. Our fear and loathing of sexuality – kills kids. What you are contributing in terms of dialog – from my viewpoint – is largely illogical, and not based in reality.

    • Kat

      Inorite.

    • Jenjen

      First I want to apologize to all the females out there for mistaking this person as a female. What was being said just got to me beyond angry that I looked at the wrong name, & then realized that only a man would say something like its the girl’s fault for being raped. Telling victims of rape that its their fault for being raped, well those no words for how disgusting that sounds. For a girl to think that she should be able to be around school friends is normal & not her or her parents fault those boys decided to take that trust away. The only place where blame should be placed is on the rapists, molesters, pedophiles, etc. the ones who make that choice to do those crimes. If your to think that a girl sets out, to go to a friends house, thinking that “hey, I might get gang raped if I go over here”, then you got some serious issues. Parents can do everything 110% right & that still might not be enough. Let me ask you this, if you were attacked & gang raped while you were in your home, & then someone tells you that it’s your own fault it happened cause you shouldn’t have left your window unlocked cause that’s how they got in. What would you say?

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Again, you can’t seem to get this point, although I have repeated it again and again and again. I never said she was responsible, full stop.

      I said the rapists are primarily responsible, followed by their parents, then to a lesser degree, her parents, then society at large. Do you need a pie chart?

      Just because parents doing %110 right does not guarantee a girls safety, does not mean they should not try or are free from the burden of their duties. That is a false argument.

      You presume that I am placing the burden of guilt onto the person attacked for not protecting themselves, although I have made this clear over four times already. As a child, she is not responsible at all.

      As far as leaving the window unlocked and being raped, if I had made a realistic judgment of the circumstances and had done my duty, to the best of my ability in the light of the judgment, to protect my family, then I am not at all responsible.

      However, if I failed to make a practical assessment of the danger or failed to perform my duty of protecting myself and my family, then I would be responsible to a certain degree. Which points to the reality that I am responsible to begin with.

      For example, If I live in the ghetto, where crack addict mill about my doors and windows and steal anything not nailed down, then I have a greater responsibility to acknowledge the danger and a greater duty to prevent an invasion. If I fail to do those things, and my family or myself are raped, then I have a degree of responsibility for that tragedy. This is common sense.

      If I live in a safe place, where the necessity of vigilance is less, than I am less responsible is someone takes advantage of me. This is why children are not responsible when they are attacked in anyway, because they are not responsible for their own safety.

      Adults are responsible for their own safety. If they fail to protect themselves, then they are partially responsible, although the greater responsibility lies with the perpetrator of the crime.

      The reason we disagree, is because I am a male. A male is by nature burdened with the responsibility of protection. If my family is raped, I am responsible to the degree that I was negligent or failed to perform my duty. If despite all of my attempts, I could not save them, then I am not responsible.

      A man should be prepared to give his life to save his family, or anyone in danger.

      As a women, you cannot understand this because you are by nature a recipient of protection and therefore, ultimately not responsible if you are attacked in any way.

      However, in modern post-feminist America, women no longer want a traditional role of being under protection, and yet you rage over the idea of accepting responsibility for your own protection.

      If men and women are the same in every way, then you must accept the duties and responsibility associated with protecting others and yourself and this mean to accept PARTIAL responsibility for being raped, to the degree that you were negligent.

    • CMJ

      Unfortunately, we all “understand” what you’re saying and we simply don’t agree with it. We’re not reading wrong so you can stop going on and on about us “not getting your point.”

      By your explanation, I’m negligent by the sheer fact that I am a woman who hangs out with a man.

      Also – thanks for mansplaining what I can and cannot understand because I am a woman.

    • Blueathena623

      You just compared being a woman to being a child.

    • Gangle

      I am a feminist. I do not expect or want to be ‘under’ any mans protection. No, not even my husbands. I don’t need or want YOU or any man to gather me under their protective wing… that scares you, doesn’t it?! I accept responsibility for my own protection. I take self-defense classes. I have no problems with saying NO. If I get raped, in any situation, under any circumstance, I know it will not at all be my fault or responsibility. It will be the rapists.
      Ted Bundy lured his victims in by appearing harmless and helpless. He preyed on young women and counted on the kindness of strangers to lure them in. Were these women negligent? I guess you could argue that. Were they at all responsible for their attacks. Not even a bit.

    • Psych Student

      “As a women (sic), [I] cannot understand this [giving one's life to save a family or anyone in danger]“??!?! Really? As a woman with a wife I’m pretty sure I understand what it means to be the protector in my family. My wife is very tall but thin and weak (and I *love* her that way). I am the one who can kick ass. I am prepared to fight off danger to protect my wife and our future children.
      However, my wife and I also know enough not to get ourselves killed to protect others. We understand that if someone it threating you, the best thing you are going to die and fight like hell (unless it’s a simple mugging, then just give the money and move on with life – is your purse really worth *that* much, really?). However, we wouldn’t defend our home if someone broke in. We’d sneak out and get the cops. If we see an assault we’d find cops. I know what it means to be ready and willing to physically fight to defend my family. But I will give you that I’m not willing to die to save other people. But I will fight to the death to protect my wife. I assume you don’t approve of gay marriage (and I don’t care) and can’t imagine what two women would be doing in a relationship but we don’t need a man to take care of us. We protect each other.

    • Gangle

      Exactly! My husband travels a lot. Someone breaks in, I’m out the window. Someone corners me, I’m screaming and biting their nose, ears or dick off. I will do whatever it takes to just not be worth the hassle.

    • Makabit

      “Traditionally western society, like most civilized peoples, kept their male and female children separate from the time of adolescence until marriage. This was practiced especially among the higher classes.”

      This is not historically accurate. It’s simply what you imagine it must have been like in some earlier time when you imagine people (especially ‘higher class’ people) agreed with your ideas about sex and society.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Actually it is historically accurate. It began with the rise of Christianity in Western Europe after the conversion of Clovis, the progenitor of the Frankish Merovingian Dynasty, and has ended only recently with the rise of atheistic materialism.

      Restriction of the senses is a basic principle of all civilized societies. Restricting sex to marriage is a very very basic level of sensual control. That fact that we cannot even do that is alarming and humiliating.

      The more spiritually centered the culture, the higher the degree of sensual control. The priestly class in any society is meant to be exemplary in this. The general society is meant to follow not too far behind, according to their ability.

      The fact that the term “priest” has become synonymous with child molestation in our culture and the word “teen” (when Googled) synonymous with illicit and exploitative sex, indicates that we have lost our soul.

    • Gangle

      Yes, and back then they murdered women who they accused of being witches or having sex outside of marriage and burned heretics at the stake. They performed blood-letting as a method of curing diseases caused by ‘evil spirits’ and a large proportion of the ‘upper classes’ suffered from syphilis because they shagged too many hookers.
      Executions were performed by all sorts of methods, including but not limited to, hanging, beheading, burning at the stake and stoning.
      So enlightened these early Christians, weren’t they.

    • scooby23

      Them’s were the days….

    • Blueathena623

      Your ideas are not historically accurate, as throughout history, sex has not been restricted to marriage. Women were expected to remain chaste, but the rules were much more lax for males. If you believe that is an inaccurate statement, please feel free to enlighten me as to all the societies /time periods where the punishments for adultery were as severe for men as they were for women.
      You are yearning for a past that never existed. You are advocating returning to ideals that never occurred.

    • Makabit

      My grandmother met my grandfather at…wait for it…a party at a friend’s house, in high school. Society did not crumble. They got married, and when he came back from WWII, they had two children.

      I have a degree in European history, so your fantasy is not very convincing to me. Sorry ’bout that.

    • Elizabeth

      First, I’d like to say, Thank you for being one of the only people here that hasn’t used any foul language and has not attacked the beliefs of anyone else. I do not agree with everything you have said, but I think you have made some valid arguments.

      When I was younger, my parents taught me about sex, I have known where babies came since before I can remember.

      They also taught me that sex is a wonderful and special experience, there is nothing bad or immoral about it. Along with this they said that sex should wait until I found someone who was worthy of my love and affection.

      They advised me to wait until marriage for a few reasons.

      1. Children are a direct result of having sex, If you aren’t mature enough for a child, you probably aren’t mature enough for sex.

      2. Sometimes you feel like you’re in love in preschool, elementary school, middle school, etc. Most high school students don’t know what love really is. So just feeling like “Oh I’m so in love!” isn’t a good enough reason to give a guy everything.

      3. Many men will tell you anything to get into bed with you. But most won’t go so far as to marry you if they aren’t truly committed.

      4. Sex is amazing and special, it creates a bond between you and your partner. A marriage can be greatly strengthened by this bond. And even though the first time isn’t always great and is often painful for a woman, it is better to have that experience with someone who you know loves you and will be gentle and concerned for your well being.

      Those were just a few of many reasons they gave me for waiting, but they never told me I had to obey them. I had the choice and opportunity to not take their advice.

      I had boyfriends in high school, my parents encouraged me to date and associate with boys so I could have fun and find what qualities I liked in a man and would look for later when I was ready to marry.

      My parents made an effort to get to know my friends. They wanted to know who I was hanging out with. My house soon became the favorite hangout spot for my group of friends because my mom kept food around, we had a movie room, and my parents kept pretty up to date with teenager stuff.

      When friends came over, my parents were always there. When I went to friend’s houses, my parents tried their best to make sure parents would be there.

      What you said is true about there being responsibility for parents to make sure their kids are safe and in good environments. Mine did a pretty great job with that.

      Of course, parents can’t know everything and must step back and let their kids make decisions and mistakes. I lied, snuck out, and did some things I shouldn’t have, but my parents taught me well and I never drank, did drugs, or had sex (though I might have been a bit too close).

      I am now married to a man I love and I know he loves me. I lost my virginity on my wedding night and I am so glad my husband was my first. I experienced some pain, it was not a “hollywood” sex experience at all, but it was sweet and tender and as perfect as it could be. I didn’t experience any “good girl” syndrome and had no regrets afterwards like so many of my friends in high school and even middle school did.

      Abstinence until marriage is not an “outdated” practice. It is never a bad thing to practice self control. It’s not the easiest road, I know, I lived it. I had guys I liked tell me they would never consider dating someone who wouldn’t “put out” and that hurt like hell. But I grew and matured from those experiences.

      It was my parents who helped me have the strength and self confidence to move on.

      My parents were never my best friends, they were my parents. They taught me and helped me understand. I knew I could go to them with anything. I trusted them to help me live a good life because I could see how happy they were in theirs.

      I’m not saying that the young men who raped this girl are not at fault. They should carry the full weight of the blame because they were completely wrong in their actions. They are accountable and old enough to know better.

      But, maybe something more could have been done to prevent this tragedy. On her parents side and definitely on the side of the boys’ parents. Even with the parents of the children that were circulating the pictures of the rape.

      I believe parents do share in the blame of their children’s actions. Even when their actions lead to tragedies like this. Parent’s should be parents and teach their children right and wrong, however they see it.

      I’m not saying that this girl’s parents were irresponsible or bad in any way. They could have been the best, most vigilant, most loving parents in history. I have no idea what they were like and I don’t need to know. In fact, I’m not really commenting on the article, but at the violent response to El Diablo Matamoros’ comments and giving an example of how, at least a few, of this person’s arguments are completely valid.

      I am saying that teaching children good morals is not restricting them. I am free from addiction, free from stds, and free from many regrets because my parents taught me to follow the law and what they were taught was moral. I wasn’t forced to follow their teachings, they let me choose, but they made sure I was fully educated.

      I think parents could and should do better at educating their children. There are times where I think my parents should have done better, but I think I turned out alright and i know it was because of them.

    • whiteroses

      Elizabeth- I get why you’re saying all of that. But honestly, the reason why everyone has reacted so violently to El Diablo’s comments is this basic fact: a girl, or a woman (or even a man and boy, because they get raped too) has the right to go anywhere and do anything without fear of sexual assault. If she wants to hang out with her friends naked, it shouldn’t matter. I agree that parents of rapists can and should wonder where they went wrong. But parents of survivors? No. They bear no guilt whatsoever. Regardless of your morals, you can still get raped.

      For further proof, my friend (who I have mentioned before) was, and still is, a devout Christian who had never had sex. She was also an accomplished martial artist- but none of that mattered when two guys jumped on her from an alleyway, because a 95 pound girl can only do so much to defend herself when faced with more than one guy. I’m glad your first time was wonderful- but when people try to make rape cases about the victim’s morality I just have to laugh, because one of the most moral people i know had her first time in a dirty alleyway and not with her 10 year sweetheart who she was set to marry in a month.

    • XxCybertitanxX

      how do you prepare for a future in which you do not know if you will have one or not?. you leave and take each and everyday, day by day, because you do not know when your last will be.

    • whiteroses

      Actually, from America’s founding until the beginning of the nineteenth century, premarital sex wasn’t, for the most part, frowned on in the colonies (Massachusetts being a notable exception) as long as the couple married each other.

      Your grasp of history notwithstanding- rape is wrong, the rapists are entirely responsible no matter the past character and actions of the victim, and there is no excuse for rape. No matter what.

    • Psych Student

      Hooray for atheistic materialism!!!!

    • Kat

      Are you implying this was an “alcohol fueled org[y]“? I sure hope not.

    • Cloudy

      Ok, WHO PUT ME IN THE TIME MACHINE WHILE I WAS DOZING OFF?! I do not like the medieval times, I want to go back to 2013. SOS! :(

    • Putin Killer

      > I hate to be the one to interject harsh truth

      1. No, you clearly don’t.
      2. Your definition of ‘truth’ appears to be faulty.
      3. And almost everything you said is demonstrably nonsensical.

      >Traditionally western society, like most civilized peoples, kept their male and female children separate
      > amidst modern liberal America’s long decline into animal behavior

      Such as these. If there was the slightest inkling of truth in this, if your observations had even the most tenuous connection with reality, the incessant reporting of new cases of kids molested by priests and the horrifically high rates of child abuse and molestation in conservative religious communities – communities that believe the same things you do, or say they do – would not be an epidemic-level problem. Or existent at all.

      Because teaching kids – and adults – to treat each other as human beings, with respect and tolerance and acceptance, is the exact opposite of what you are saying we should do.

      If anything, I’d be more likely to teach my kids to avoid people like you… life is hard enough, without some hateful and misguided self-styled wise one filling their heads with lies, misinformation, and excuses to not treat each other kindly.

    • El Diablo Matamoros

      Halfway through your comment you actually present and argument:

      “Because religious communities are failing in their attempts to follow principles of sensual control, society is NOT in a steady decline towards behavior irreverent of traditional ideals of sensual restriction”.

      I fail to see the logic in this argument. In fact, the opposite seems more rational.

      The failure of those with religious aspirations is a testament to the weakness towards those aspirations in the general public.

      Despite their earnest intentions, they arise from the same culture as us all.

      If the highest and most visible branches of a tree, which normally climb towards the light, are diseased and broken, it is symptomatic of a disease within the entire tree.

      Your argument is that it is a symptom that the tree is not diseased.

      Your next proposition is that allowing people to follow their sensual urges without restriction or judgment is true knowledge. You paste a cheap band-aid of empty words meant to provoke sentiment in the ignorant, calling this unwillingness to establish right and wrong for the benefit of others “tolerance, respect and acceptance”.

      It is you who are intellectually inverted and looking towards darkness as light.

      Look no further than this article as proof. This lifestyle of hedonism is self destructive.

      By your logic, when this girl chose to go out that night to get drunk with these boys, her parents should of allowed her, exhibiting “tolerance, respect and acceptance”. I am sure, in retrospect, they would disagree.

      Without a clear sense of right and wrong, I wonder how far you would extend this “tolerance, respect and acceptance”, perhaps to the rapists themselves.

      When you say “tolerance, respect and acceptance” you mean allow people to do whatever they want, even if it is bad for them.

      Please do not use those lofty words. You should say “to treat each other as human beings, with injudiciousness, irresponsibility and uncircumspect”.

      Why not treat criminals as “human beings” by renouncing all judgment of their actions and practicing “tolerance, respect and acceptance”, free them into your neighborhood to party with your daughter.

      Unfortunately, your children will have the intimate association of amisguided self-styled wise one filling their heads with
      lies, misinformation, and excuses to not hold anyone accountable for anything, even themselves.

    • moonandstars

      I was a very social 15 year old not so long ago and regardless of my parents rules, told them I was going to a friends house on multiple occasions and went and hung out with boys, and even when we drank underage, I didnt once get raped through my teenage years… proving two things: parents cannot keep a constant eye on their growing teenagers, and it just so happens that males and females CAN co-exist without committing sexual assault towards one another. You can only hope your children will make the best decisions when they are faced with one, and none of us truly know if Rehtaeh Parsons knew she might be encountering a sticky situation that night but what we do know is that she was humiliated and bullied to the point of suicide and that through everything, her family was there for her. So I could hardly say it was bad parenting that lead to such a crime.

    • Blueathena623

      I might agree with a part of your statement if you said parents should not let their children (male or female) go to a party where alcohol may be present. Why all this focus on the girls? Should I not care if my son goes to a party and gets drunk?

    • Kat

      Mister McEdumacated! Ahem. “… should of…” That is all.

  • BullyingIsAMyth

    There is not a shred of evidence that she was raped. In fact the evidence suggests that she was a willing participant in sex and the photos and regretted it afterwards. That’s why the police didn’t charge anybody with anything. In order to lay a charge, police don’t need to have the high level of proof required in a criminal trial. They just need a reasonable basis. That they didn’t have that speaks volume about these false allegations of “rape”.

    • lea

      You are completely ignoring the fact that by spreading the photo around the school, a crime was committed. They can and SHOULD have been charged with making and disseminating child pornography.

      That they didn’t speaks volumes.

    • Ana

      She had been drinking at a friend’s house. Legally, a person under the influence cannot consent to sex, even if she had said yes.

    • http://twitter.com/Toodle68 Toodle68

      No 15 year old girl willingly has s3x with 4 boys at a party..

    • Psych Student

      She may have been too young to legally consent to sex in her state anyway.

  • Trolls Smell Bad

    Stop replying to trolls. You cannot “win” an argument with a troll; they play devil’s advocate and use provocative language. Everyone must ignore them and continue a proper discussion with the other people. Take comfort in that a troll doesn’t really believe the disturbing things it says, it just says them for shock value. I also recommend not reading their comments nor any replies to their comments, you’ll feel better.

    • Kat

      You are absolutely right, it’s just so fricking hard not to!

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  • Jaclyn

    This little girl’s beautiful face just breaks my heart. I don’t care what she was wearing, what she said, what she drank, or what she had painted on her body, she deserved to feel safe at the friend of a friends home.
    If young boys cannot control their urges and emotions, then they should not be allowed out. They are sex offenders and they should be treated as such. They hurt another human being and there really is nothing that can be said to defend them in the eyes of a reasonable person. On the subject of reason, as the parent of a 13 year daughter, if this were my child, every one of these boys would come to justice, one way or another.

  • http://twitter.com/Rahkemx Rahkem

    How can you say she was raped when noone was convicted? she was ALLEGEDLY raped , if theres no conviction even though there was a picture of the event it means there must have been strong evidence (texts, FB messages between her and the boys) that raised doubts about whether she allowed it to happen,

    • whiteroses

      Ah- no conviction means it never happened? Please. That assumption figures that the justice system isn’t flawed. Last time I checked, the guilty still go free in this country, despite the best efforts of some.

  • guest

    thank you, El Diablo Matamoros for trolling this. you disgust me.

  • http://twitter.com/buttkrakk Butt Krakk

    What in the world are you people arguing about? This child may or may not have had disturbing behavior patterns, that is something impossible to judge from a photo with some tattoos.
    Regardless of her personality and behaviors/habits, what happened to her is unconscionable, inexcusable, inhuman and barbaric. I can’t think of a single person who deserves this sort of thing.
    Step one: Anonymous postings. The neanderthals that did this need to be exposed publicly and humiliated. Everyone needs to know who they are and what they did. We all make stupid mistakes when we are young, but we don’t rape people.

    Step two: Community justice. Law enforcement is not going to take care of it, you can write that off now and take matters into your own hands. I can guarantee you if this happened to my daughter, a permanent darkness would fall upon anyone who was involved in harming her. Motivated people can get things done

  • FMR

    I don’t think @google-065c7914b5fe7259bbb5fdacfeafb085:disqus is saying to separate them completely, but that they don’t need to be together unsupervised. Why was a group of mix-gender teens alone in a house anyways?

    THAT’S where the parental blame comes in. I’m only 22 and I was raised all over the world, but in almost every community I’ve grown up around, it wasn’t acceptable for parents to let guys and gals under 18 mingle unsupervised.

    I know they were about 15, but that still isn’t a naturally mature age & they still need supervision. Not as much as a 10 year old or w/e, but it’s still needed.

    I JUST went to my friend’s little sister’s 16th birthday party & didn’t realize how young 15 was until then. I thought I was very mature at that age, but no 15 yr. old (w/o extremely harsh circumstances) is really that mature at all.

    YES, at 15 they should know that rape is bad & should DEFINITELY be punished and their parents, but there should be blame on ALL the parents of EVERY teen involved, because a parent should be more involved their child’s life.

  • DecentBlackGuy

    Alleged. For all yall know she did these four dudes and then felt embarrassed cut people called her a slut and then cried rape.

    • lea

      “Decent”. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    • whiteroses

      Either way- they’re responsible for her death. That’s okay with you?

  • crymeariver

    still too bad everyone is defending her like Amanda todd who acted like a whore on the internet and killed herself …. and this one who cried ‘wolf’ with the whole alleged rape. no one was convicted so how is it proof she was ‘gang raped’ by 4 boys. seems like a whole lot of crock of shit to me, and all you losers are sympathizing for a dead whore. pathetic.

    tell her to get rid of that tacky tattoo on her arm, and stop smoking pot and drinking with horny boys and getting fucked.

    • Gangle

      You should be thankful there are whores. Without women willing to have sex for pay, you would never get laid.
      The difference is, I have respect for sex workers. I have none for you.

    • Kat

      Now this is a troll! Rawrawrawr, silly troll! Heheheh, so cute.

  • crymeariver

    you people remind me all too much of this article and Amanda todd

    http://p.twimg.com/A5Rwso_CIAALqTD.jpg

    Amanda todd – commits suicide because she was constantly given shit for flashing her boobs online and hooking up with someone in a relationship (WHOLE WORLD and HER MOTHER CRY)

    Jamey Rodemeyer & The Ugly Guy (I forget his name) – Commit suicide, one for being openly gay and the other one for being really ugly. (NO ONE GIVES/GAVE 2 SHITS)

    So why all the over hype about AMANDA TODD the ANGEL and this little ANGEL, HEATHER PARSONS ….. give me a break. sympathizers to women. They cry rape or bully or whatever else, when there was no conviction or no proof. Clearly a case of bad parenting and the girl had mental issues. if it was such a problem then STAY oFF THE INTERNET, was her own fault. I don’t feel sorry for anyone that commits suicide.

    Sad about the BOYS that died for being GAY AND UGLY, but oh no!!!! WOMEN THAT ACT LIKE WHORES, EVERYONE cries. PROOF PROOF, PROOF. I could see why all you losers trolled EL_Diablo. He made perfect sense.

    And he wasn’t picking sides.!!! RIP heather, in your next life I hope you wont get tattoos at 14 and act like a drunken harlot at un-supervised parties.!!

    /thread

    losers

    • whiteroses

      In your entirely incoherent rant, you neglected to note a few things.

      1) People do give two shits about Jamey Rodemeyer and “Ugly Guy” (whoever that is). Quite a few people, in fact. Myself included. I care when kids kill themselves because they get bullied. Clearly, you don’t care all that much, or you would have taken the five seconds to Google “Ugly Guy’s” name. Try again.

      2) No matter how anyone acts, they don’t deserve to get raped.

      3) Her name was Retaeh. Not Heather. And irrespective of her tattoos or anything else… she didn’t deserve what she was handed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/skyebellematilda.brand Skye Belle Matilda Brand

    Lots of troll feeders here…if you ignore their ignorant comments they get bored & move on.

  • Psych Student

    There is nothing funny about rape. I did, however particularly enjoy this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/glorious-takedowns-of-safetytipsforladies
    It’s great suggestions on how women can avoid being raped. Just to help you know how great they are, a couple:
    “Have yourself laminated. Sure it’s suffocating, but really, you must do your bit to prevent being assaulted.”
    “Just kill everybody before they have a chance to attack you.”
    “The majority of rapists are known to the victim. Consider not knowing any men.”
    These will make you feel better than reading posts from trolls. I promise. :)

  • Dufus

    So, I believe it is wrong to have sex with a girl who is passed out, because there is no way to tell if it is consensual. Am I going to have to say this straight out to my boy when he is “of age”? Do teenage boys not know that this is wrong? That is, I think it’s wrong.

    • Gangle

      Yes. You are. You are totally going to have to sit down with your son and outline exactly what rape is, and that he is not to do it. You have to tell him that ‘no’ means no, passed out drunk means no, ‘maybe’ means no and that silence means no. You have to tell him that only a confident ‘YES” means yes.

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  • nightcristal@gmail.com

    1) The girl should have not put her self in the situation. 2) The boys should have been taught by their parents that RAPE is bad. If both suggestions were followed. None of this would ever happen. Being a female myself, there are many times Ive had to miss out on fun because It just didnt look safe or had that gut feeling to leave.

    • whiteroses

      Good for you. Doesn’t change the fact that she didn’t deserve it. What you’re basically suggesting is that we can just sit back and blame it on the parents and on the girl herself. That nicely takes the blame off the actual rapists. Yeah, their parents should have talked to them. But that doesn’t change the fact that they still did it.

    • GLAAD = NAMBLA

      I don’t think parents should have to teach their kids that rape is bad – it kinda is something you should know without being taught

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  • Diana Snyder

    Just awful. The system failed this poor girl, after her friends and community did. If that happened to my daughter, I guarantee you, that I, or my husband, would be in jail for getting our own justice. Some things are worth it and those people would pay.

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  • Marisol de la Luz

    “In some pictures of her, she has a full arm tattoo. What kind of protective and observant parents allow a teenage girl to get a full arm tattoo?”

    Mr. Fuckhead, yah YOU, get the fuCK OFF This POST commentary and STOP w/ your demeaning ass remarks on a highly sensitive subject that you as a man, will NEVER EVER understand. Parents just lost their child. Their daughter was raped, why don’t you go post your Harvard, bugzwahh garble on some “high class” snob site, where u and your fellow “haves” in life can go and smooch each others assholes, fluffing each others egos and get off on how intellectual you all are. NO ONE APPRECIATE YOUR ASSHOLE COMMENTS, not me, not ANYONE. I’ve only read a few and only because I wanted to see how folks are dealing w/ this tragedy and I have to read all YOUR DICKHEAD masogynist comments, condeming the parents, telling someone that your advice was not for her cause she’s low class. FUCK YOU, you EGOMANIAC… Get OFF THIS POST THEM N GO pretend to care about environmentalism and taking away social security or whatever you IDIOT right wingers do. I’m not of a “higher class” so NO I won’t or try to understand your derogatory, hypocritical, ludicrous, ASSHOLE, nor do I OR ANYONE ELSE CARE FOR YOUR STUPID ADVICE… WE don’t care if you went to HArvard or YALE or whatever…. Let this family and friends and people who ACTUALLY CARE about what happened to this poor teen grieve and process in peace. No one care to hear you innoculate people to the t, with your callouse “intellectual” commentary that again, you have no insight to, because you’re a twisted alpha male fuck that needs to get a LIfE or a CLUE and go bother people who actually CARE to and WANT TO ARGUE w/ your sorry ass. Do the world a favor and stop posting, you CREEP! Let this family, her parents, her friends, the community (WHO ACTUALLY CARES) grieve and process in peace. They’ve been through enough, THEY DON’T NEED your childish antics, your STUPID advice, your condescending commentary, feedback, etc. etc. Go find some other site to condescend to lower class folk, not of your stature Mr. Harvard scholar and leave people who have been affected by rape, ALONE… WE/THEY have been through enough. BASTA!!!

  • Marisol de la Luz

    My message was to Mr. Yale guy, “El Diablo Matamoros.” Sorry if my comments offended others, but this El Diablo needs to go back to whatever HELL he came from and leave the community who actually CARES about what happened to this poor teen, alone, so that they/we can dialogue and grieve and heal. I too was raped as a teenager, while inebriated and it left me suicidally depressed and I am still recovering from what happened. I am enraged that people are actually blaming the parents and letting her have a tattoo. That is sooo far from the real “issue” at hand. My mom was a single mother of three and she wasn’t around as much as she should have been. Is that all her fault? No, society and distribution of wealth comes into play here. Had she the faculties and the resources she could have afforded childcare or had she a better support system/network, I would have been better looked after and maybe not been allowed to go to a daytime party at 13 with men who were a little over 18. Even then, would she have known? I was dropped off at my best friend’s house and we walked to the party from there, the party I got drunk at and was raped. Is that really “the parents” fault. Stop blaming the parents, so that we can really HEAL and cultivate what is necessary to counter this rape culture that we live in. Instead of teaching girls not to get raped and how to be strong, we need to raise young men BETTER!!!

  • blackshawl

    The comments below of the parents wanting to teach their sons how to respect young women is so inspiring to me. I will not even comment on the ignorant response of El Diablo. Obviously you have no respect for women. I shudder to think of you ever having a daughter. To the parents of this beautiful young woman, I am so very sorry for your loss. <3

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