â€śWe have to bring Holt,â€ť I sighed to my fiancĂ©, a couple weeks ago, before leaving for Passover. â€śNo one wants to see us! They donâ€™t care about seeing us!â€ť And even though it was family and friends of family, it is also true that NO ONE really cared if my fiancĂ© or I came. They only wanted to see the baby.
â€śBut heâ€™s going to be so cranky. Itâ€™s his bedtime when they want to start dinner,â€ť my fiancĂ© moaned reasonably.
I knew all of this, and I knew Holt would be a nightmare. But when you have a baby, people want to see the goddamn baby. Honestly, weâ€™ve not brought the baby before when weâ€™ve been invited over to peopleâ€™s homes â€“ because heâ€™s napping or itâ€™s his bedtime – and the looks of disappointment on peopleâ€™s faces when we show up at the door is almost heartbreaking. Literally, their faces fall, as if we just gave them some awful news, like, â€śIâ€™ve just smashed into your car while parking.â€ť
I want to kind of hug them and say, â€śItâ€™s okay. Youâ€™ll see the baby another time, I promise.â€ť
People donâ€™t even bother to hide the fact they want to see your baby more than they want to see you. I want to say to family, when they open the door and we havenâ€™t brought our baby, â€śWell, WEâ€™RE here! Isnâ€™t that good enough for you?â€ť
But, as Iâ€™ve said, when you have a baby, no one cares about seeing you â€“ theyâ€™ve seen you for decades â€“ they just want the baby there. This is especially true, I think, for grandparents.
Sometimes my mother-in-law will drop by unexpectedly (I donâ€™t mind) and if the baby is napping, her face falls too. Iâ€™m sure sheâ€™s always happy to see me, but she is THRILLED to see the baby.
â€śBring the baby!â€ť everyone will tell us, while we, the parents, who know our son better than anyone, will sigh and say, â€śWell, we might leave him at home. Thatâ€™s kind of his nap time, and he wonâ€™t nap anywhere but his crib.â€ť
Then people will be like, â€śOh, he can sleep on my bed. Itâ€™s no problem. Bring the baby!â€ť