âWe have to bring Holt,â I sighed to my fiancĂ©, a couple weeks ago, before leaving for Passover. âNo one wants to see us! They donât care about seeing us!â And even though it was family and friends of family, it is also true that NO ONE really cared if my fiancĂ© or I came. They only wanted to see the baby.
âBut heâs going to be so cranky. Itâs his bedtime when they want to start dinner,â my fiancĂ© moaned reasonably.
I knew all of this, and I knew Holt would be a nightmare. But when you have a baby, people want to see the goddamn baby. Honestly, weâve not brought the baby before when weâve been invited over to peopleâs homes â because heâs napping or itâs his bedtime – and the looks of disappointment on peopleâs faces when we show up at the door is almost heartbreaking. Literally, their faces fall, as if we just gave them some awful news, like, âIâve just smashed into your car while parking.â
I want to kind of hug them and say, âItâs okay. Youâll see the baby another time, I promise.â
People donât even bother to hide the fact they want to see your baby more than they want to see you. I want to say to family, when they open the door and we havenât brought our baby, âWell, WEâRE here! Isnât that good enough for you?â
But, as Iâve said, when you have a baby, no one cares about seeing you â theyâve seen you for decades â they just want the baby there. This is especially true, I think, for grandparents.
Sometimes my mother-in-law will drop by unexpectedly (I donât mind) and if the baby is napping, her face falls too. Iâm sure sheâs always happy to see me, but she is THRILLED to see the baby.
âBring the baby!â everyone will tell us, while we, the parents, who know our son better than anyone, will sigh and say, âWell, we might leave him at home. Thatâs kind of his nap time, and he wonât nap anywhere but his crib.â
Then people will be like, âOh, he can sleep on my bed. Itâs no problem. Bring the baby!â