• Wed, Apr 3 2013

Father Beats Daughters For Twerking Video – Internet Calls It Good Parenting

Have you guys see the twerking videos that everyone is uploading lately? I wasn’t that familiar with twerking, until magical unicorn girl Miley Cyrus posted this bizarre and hypnotic twerking video:

And a gazillion others copied her, and now twerking is like the new Harlem Shake, so yay pop culture and whatever, I have dishes to do. But the bad thing, and this is really bad, and this is so amazingly bad I’m not even going to post the video here, because maybe I’m a baby or maybe I just don’t enjoy watching kids being beaten and I cried, is that some monster father posted a video of himself beating the hell out of his daughters for posting a video of them twerking on Facebook. With an extension cord. With his daughters screaming and sobbing. And the Internet LOVES it!

The Internet finds it hilarious, and applauds the dad for his “good parenting” and it all makes my heart hurt so much.

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Please keep in mind, from what I know, these girls were just dancing in this video. It may have been in a “sexually provocative” manner, but they were dancing. They weren’t doing drugs, or torturing animals, or raping anyone. They were dancing. If you must, you can view the video here, but please be warned, it is  ugly, and awful, and heartbreaking.

I don’t believe in hitting kids. I especially don’t agree with what this father did. The correct reaction would be to maybe sit down with your daughters and explain to them you feel posting videos like that is inappropriate and ask them to remove them. Or take away their Facebooks. Or ground them from using the computer for a while. Not to beat them with an extension cord until they are howling in pain. I don’t understand how anyone can feel this constitutes good parenting, especially coupled with the fact that the father is screaming “Motherfuckers” at his daughter while they cower in the corner as he hits them.

This guy isn’t a “good parent.” He’s an asshole who needs anger management classes.

And we have what I would call a Happy Ending update to this awful story here. Even though some of you will be sad about this news.

(photo: You Tube)

 

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  • Amanda

    I got nice ‘beatings’ with the belt when I was younger and in a lot of trouble. It didn’t scar me or mess me up. It taught me to never do it again, and that was that.

    • meteor_echo

      My father tried to beat me with a belt when I was a teen. I told him that if he ever touched me again, I’d pick up the heaviest thing in the room that I can lift and hit him as hard as I can. He backed the fuck off.
      What this father did was abuse and he doesn’t deserve his daughters to live with them; it sucks that you’re siding with an abuser here.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Good girl

    • yinthworld

      So getting a beating was your “ordinary” means of discipline in your household… And then you were in your teens (13? or 19?) and able to negotiate the terms of your discipline…and your dad said ok, I agree we should work on a discipline that is more structured to your needs. Something doesn’t sound right? Just saying. If rationally discussing problems and getting grounded was the norm and then all of a sudden out comes this belt, yeah I’d get it…

    • meteor_echo

      My father was an abusive jerk who would scream at me, tell me he’d kill me or throw me out of the house and such. I was 13 and simply got fed up – if he ever hit me with a belt again, I’d kill or maim him myself. He’s not been the person who would “discuss things rationally”, he’s the guy who screamed at me for cutting myself, which I started because of him.

    • yinthworld

      Well see now…the story makes every bit of sense! Being an abusive jerk is grounds to have every father in the world line up and take turns! That one last attempt to use a belt ended up being you saying enough is enough! A commendable act of bravery that very few get! You stood up to an abuser, not a “dad” disciplining his daughter!

    • meteor_echo

      No. My father did the same thing that this guy did – he’d “discipline” me for something like daring to not want to eat with the rest of the family, or buying a wrong sort of meat at the market. This guy is a shithole and he deserves to have his kids taken away from him and placed into care of decent people – END OF STORY.

    • yinthworld

      Eh…not really. It’s very unfortunate that you had to go through abuse, seriously…not cool at all. At the risk of sounding unsympathetic, your story isn’t the be all and end all of corporal punishment in terms of parenting. Getting whooped, from the waist down, still seems to be legal in America. I don’t know the exact circumstances, but like you, I can have my prejudices fill in the blanks. I got whooped, not abused. I understand it now. I wasn’t abused, so these type things don’t touch my sore spot in the same way they would for some people. His beating was too excessive to some, but not to others. For my taste? Being that I don’t whoop children, anything beyond a stern scolding and punishment is too far, but that is MY preference. Talk to my grandmother and she may tell you how ineffective his swing was like a baseball scout. I choose to keep my forms of discipline confined to my house, and not blasted across the internet. I can imagine him doing it to embarrass the ish out them since they enjoy hoppin around and showing off their behinds on the internet, but he also opened himself up to criticism from others. Who’s to say that it was HIS last straw? Gentle cajoling to his daughters of the importance of the sanctity of their bodies didn’t help because impressing their friends was more important to them. Some parents make their kids wear signs to show their “crime”, some show the internet a whooping.

    • meteor_echo

      Yelling “Motherfuckers!” at your children while they cower in a corner and beating them until they scream? This is not a fucking whooping. Stop right now. Just stop, okay? You begin to sound just as disgusting as this person does.

    • yinthworld

      Didn’t hear it, I didn’t listen to the video. Hearing what was said didn’t cross my mind since it obvious it wasn’t a discussion on today’s weather. I don’t curse at children, nor do I hit them. So sounding a certain way isn’t on my radar for concern. What is of my concern that some people, yourself included, refuse to see EACH side of a story. Just the one that bothers them the most. I don’t condone the actions, but I understand them. Try raising a child the best way you can when you have the pull and allure of everything wrong going on right outside the door, and no matter what you do…the “streets” scream louder for your child’s attention than any sound you or a belt makes. There’s no magic pill to take to reverse the way a child has been raised. And if this dad was raised to instill fear in hope of respect, this is what HE knows. Would it be better if he had been able to discuss this with his daughter…NO SHIT SHERLOCK! Does he know how? Probably not. But guess what, at least the dad that doesn’t care what his daughters are doing doesn’t hit them! Right?! There are extremes on both ends of the spectrum. We seem to forget the vast area of middle ground, but then again that’s no fun when you have a point to make.

    • meteor_echo

      This is going to be my last reply to you because your arguments really make me sick.
      1) A grown man verbally and physically abused two teens, then had the balls to put the video of said abuse on the internet. There’s no other side of the story to this. None.
      2) The people who were abused but are still perpetuating the cycle of abuse should NOT be parents. I’ve been abused, but, had I wanted to actually procreate, abusing my child would not be an option. However, I opted out of the whole creating a mini-me thing – partially due to understanding that I’m not going to be a good parent.
      3) It’s better to have a father who doesn’t give a damn about you than someone who turns your life into living hell.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Some people will never believe the sky is blue no matter how hard you try.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shelly-Lloyd/826469442 Shelly Lloyd

      Amen.

    • yinthworld

      Last post or not. Your choices are yours. Someone else’s choices are theirs. Don’t know you, but I’m sure you could be a great parent if you chose to. Your 3rd point seems redundant or a nod to deadbeat dads, both of which can lead to a less than stellar upbringing. Don’t be so self-damning! It doesn’t look good on. Remember you’re the “good one” that chose not to have abuse as a mainstay!

    • meteor_echo

      This is going to be my last reply to you because your arguments really make me sick.
      1) A grown man verbally and physically abused two teens, then had the balls to put the video of said abuse on the internet. There’s no other side of the story to this. None.
      2) The people who were abused but are still perpetuating the cycle of abuse should NOT be parents. I’ve been abused, but, had I wanted to actually procreate, abusing my child would not be an option. However, I opted out of the whole creating a mini-me thing – partially due to understanding that I’m not going to be a good parent.
      3) It’s better to have a father who doesn’t give a damn about you than someone who turns your life into living hell.

    • Gangle

      I hear you loud and clear and understand what you are saying. I GET that this father cares about not wanting his daughters dancing in a provocative way and then posting it on the net… what involved parent would be happy about that? But I also get that beating your child while screaming ‘motherfucker’ is reprehensible.

      It doesn’t really matter what the father was raised into. It does not matter if the only think he know and understands is beatings are the only way to instil respect.

      Ignorance is not an excuse for any kind of abuse, and the law (and society) does not give a rats about a persons ignorance.

      Think about it this way: A guy is brought up by his family to not respect women and to treat them like dirt. He is brought up to believe women are objects for him to treat as he likes In fact, it is all he knows. years later he date rapes someone, and because she was passed out and didn’t say no, he decided it must be ok.
      Sure, he has a REASON why he thought it was ok, but it doesn’t excuse him from guilt. Well, same thing here.
      This dad may have a REASON why his behaviour was ok, but it really isn’t a mitigating factor.

    • Jen

      I got spanked as a kid. But it was Usually 1-2 swats, followed by a discussion of why I was punished (spanking was saved for really really dumb shit that could have ended in my or my younger brother being hurt) and then my parents said “disappointed” I was a damn mess and then something was taken away. That is ENTIRELY different than a father taking a freaking electrical cord and beating the hell out of his kids while cursing them. I think it’s perfectly appropriate to criticize someone “whooping” his kids (or anyone) with a freaking cord. I could see your point if he had smacked their bottoms once or twice…but this? No way a logical person could construe that as “punishment” even my grandmother and her switches stopped at a couple swats on the bottom.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      Exactly!! This is the kinda of spanking that I grew up with and the kind of spanking that I choose to use for my kid. A swat on the butt reserved for the really dangerous stuff is a far cry from being beat with an electrical cord.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      Therefore, not all spankings are child abuse.

    • Cori

      The fact that you find nothing wrong with a grown man beating young girls with an extension cord shows that your “nice beatings” did in fact have serious repercussion on your psych. No one has the right to treat any living being like that, whether they parented them or not. It’s disgusting and horrifying. If he’s capable of doing such harm to his children, what else do you think he’s capable of doing?

    • whiteroses

      Pretty much this. If you wouldn’t do it to a dog, don’t do it to your kids.

    • Marcy

      I’m always astonished by this notion that there is some magical level of appropriate level of violence in the home.

      I got beatings too. They weren’t nice, but yes, they were instructive. I learned that physical might begets arbitrary power. I learned I had no right to bodily autonomy. (That does nothing to prevent teen pregnancy, by the way.) I learned my mother only cared about my well being after the doctor noticed bruises, (or the neighbors, or my teachers). And when nothing happened even then, I learned adults didn’t have to be accountable for their actions. I learned to resent. I learned to mistrust. Unlike you, I did not learn “never to do it again.” I learned to push buttons because when it became apparent that getting hit was inevitable at least making it happen felt like something within my control. I learned that love was violent, coercive, and controlling and so too was my first serious relationship.

      Maybe I wasn’t smart enough to get the right lesson. Maybe my mother was right: I’m just bad. Or maybe hitting kids is a crap shoot and the results can go either way. But maybe, just maybe, hitting your kids is abuse and there is always a better solution — one that doesn’t diminish their sense of self-worth, one that empowers them to make good choices rather than one that scares them into conformity and obedience.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Marcy, we need to take this comment and hand it to every parent who has a kid in the entire world. Thank you so much for this.

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

      agreed.

    • Amber Starr

      I know that this is an old thread, but I just came across it…and… I really wanna hug you. Your words have struck a chord and I agree with you 100%.

  • Fabel

    Yeah, not good parenting. Also, what is with the nostalgia some people have over the “good old days” when parents were encouraged to beat their kids? (“Reminds me of them ass whoopins of the 80s”)

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I know you weren’t trying to be funny, but I LOL’d at this. “Let’s have some awesome retro ass beatings while listening to WHAM!”

    • K.

      I’ve found that it also tends to be racially divided, as one of the comments hinted at. When my husband taught in the Bronx and had a classroom of mostly non-white kids, he’d be told by many parents that spanking was not only necessary, but beneficial.

      “‘Time out’ is a white parenting thing” –Aisha Tyler has that in one of her stand-up routines.

    • Justme

      I think WHAM encourages an entirely different form of….spanking.

    • Makabit

      I can’t tell you how many conversations I overhear, and get sucked into, where people rave about their grandma’s ass-whuppings as if they were talking about their grandma’s apple crumble. People my age. It’s just bizarre.

  • Cee

    That is terrible. I hope these girls aren’t going through this too often (though they never should) and that they tell someone, get help and are able to break free from this monster. I don’t understand the correlation of dancing at home with your sister with needing a beating so you don’t get pregnant at 16. Needless to say its just horrible. Just my tiny comment before this turns into a shit fest about corporal punishment/spanking or no spanking.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      agreed, and stick around to back me up when this thread does turn to that haha

    • Jennifer Gaspar Schreiner

      I wonder if being abused by one’s father would make a girl MORE likely to get pregnant at 16–looking for male approval/father figure, whatever.

    • Frustrated@theworld

      Im sure you are not African American. SO, with that being said, you do not know the stigma that goes into being one. These girls are misguided, tweaking is NOT JUST DANCING, DO NOT BE FOOL BY THIS IGNORANT article. Twerking is booty shaking and very sexual. No, sixteen year old girl should be dancing like that, and because you do not know the sick subculture of black life you would not be so quick to judge. Think about this. Girls and guys in impoverish areas of America need a way to make a living, they look around at their surroundings and see alot of negativity. Many people turn to drugs and alcohol and others turn to trying to become the next big athlete. You- being a female in this area, are not getting an adequate education because none of the “good teachers” want to teach in the inner city and need money to help feed your brothers and sisters because your mom works 2 jobs and your dad is in jail for selling crack to make money to feed you and your family. So you decided to twerk on camera for a little fame. You get noticed by some rapper and then you are in his video. You are making money but inside you are empty. What can you offer this world but your body? You are not a bad person, just limited by your situation and NOW those little girls ^^^^ in that video think that twerking is a fun new way to get attention from guys want to imitate you….its a vicious cycle. People are trying to put a stop to this abomination of always having women of color be seen as the sluts of the internet. So you feel as though he is a monster??? You are the monster of ignorance for not understanding that he is trying to save those girls for being seen as a ignorant girl WHO im sure you would see on the street and shake your head at in dismay. So please hush. You stay living in your sheltered life where everything is white and vanilla but I see in color honey and its not a pretty world.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      who the fuck thinks this way?! “People are trying to put a stop to this abomination of always having women of color be seen as the sluts of the internet.” NO ONE WITH ANY SHRED OF COMMON SENSE. and some asshole beating his daughters is not going to fix this problem

    • Chelsea

      As a Black woman I feel like the whole point of beating loved ones in our culture is because of slavery ad the slave mentality. I get that it’s not something that others may understand. That being said, what he did was disgusting. A small spanking or swat on the butt is fine for a 7 year old (but is not the answer)… however, when a girl reaches young adulthood it’s inappropriate to do anything other than take away fun. My own father did not raise me but when i became han adult he thought he had the right to physically discipline me. He thought wrong and so did that fatherCommon sense is relative so not everyone is going to think the dame way. Sorry for the errors my phone won’t let me fix them.

    • Chelsea

      As a Black woman I feel like the whole point of beating loved ones in our culture is because of slavery ad the slave mentality. I get that it’s not something that others may understand. That being said, what he did was disgusting. A small spanking or swat on the butt is fine for a 7 year old (but is not the answer)… however, when a girl reaches young adulthood it’s inappropriate to do anything other than take away fun. My own father did not raise me but when i became han adult he thought he had the right to physically discipline me. He thought wrong and so did that fatherCommon sense is relative so not everyone is going to think the dame way. Sorry for the errors my phone won’t let me fix them.

    • Jen

      I think her point was even if the dancing was inappropriate, the electrical cord beating was so far beyond the appropriate response if it wasn’t BEATING kids it would be laughable. The whole sell your body poor person black plight thing aside. A man BEAT HIS KIDS WITH A CORD. Your concern about the dancing was touching but you know he BEAT HIS KIDS. WTF?

    • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

      None of that has anything to do with a man beating his kids with a cable. He acted out of anger, regardless of race.

    • Justme

      I would think that having an abusive father would more likely result in the a young girl turning to prostitution rather than a father who taught his daughter’s to respect themselves by showing respect for them.

    • Kat

      I think it’s a tiny bit completely insane to consider someone who is opposed to whipping a kid with an extension cord to be “sheltered.” What are you then, with your tunnel vision? I’ve known white parents that do this too. What say you to that, mighty color seer? I hope you don’t have a daughter, because I think she’d be crushed to hear that her mother/father thought this might be her only hope if “limited by [her] situation.” Once again, who’s creating racial stereotypes now?

    • whiteroses

      That’s… a hell of a lot of projection.
      He beat them with an electrical cord. That’s not a “whooping”. That’s abuse.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Have you ever been beaten with a belt or a cord? Perhaps that would bring one to drugs or alcohol. And while I am not the author and I am not African American (though with a great deal of my family still living on reservations I think I know a thing or two) I can say without a doubt that this type of punishment is wrong, illegal and detrimental to the children. Period. Obviously.

      You wanna stop your young black daughter from doing this? Sit the fuck down and parent. Actually parent. TALK to them. Educate them.Because this type of punishment only teaches fear and shame. Child abuse breeds nothing but negativity and any so-called good you might see in the outcome is shadowed by horror.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ wmdkitty

      Whoa, burning hot racism, right there.

    • Makabit

      Well, clearly their father is not in jail for selling crack, because he’s right there beating the crap out of his children.

      Of course, now he’s in jail. For beating the crap out of his children.

      Get real. I do not live a ‘sheltered life where everything is white and vanilla’, but you don’t protect kids by beating them with an extension cord. Teenage girls shaking their asses at home for fun is not a slippery slope to much of anything, if their parents are on the ball. Teenage girls who are being beaten by their parents, on the other hand, are in a very risky situation. They want to get out of the house, and they have been conditioned to accept that abuse is a sign of love. That can get you in a whole lot more trouble than your fantasy rapper with his videos.

    • Kate

      If adults were PROPER PARENTS to BEGIN with… then physical abuse would never be needed.
      All you ghetto parents sayin “..oh yeah yeah, thats good parenting, anything else is wussy parents”… well SCREW YOU.
      Good Parenting is steering your kids the right direction from the get-go. Low-life bottom feeders you people are.

    • spottedgiraffe

      You’re an idiot. I AM African-American so you can’t try to use the culturally ignorant comment on me. You don’t put your hands on someone. It’s WRONG. If my dad was ever stupid enough to try to whip me with a cord I would honestly probably stab him with a knife. You cannot just attack someone because of your feelings of anger. If the girls had retaliated against him it would be self-defense, and he should be counting his lucky stars I’m not his daughter, because I would stand up for myself. If he had a problem with them being sexually suggestive he should have just taken away their cell phones and Internet access away for a month or however long he wanted. He could also make it so they come straight home from school and can’t hang out with their friends. They would be able to learn their lesson without a crime being committed. The dad is an idiot and so is anyone else that thinks it’s okay to assault someone just because they are related to them. It’s disgusting. I will never be beating my kids I’m intelligent enough to use reason.

  • Blueathena623

    “Hotter than a baby in a microwave” fantastic lyrics.
    This is not good parenting. Period.

  • Maggie

    No. That is child abuse. Good parenting would have been to do what Eve suggested in this article, not whipping the hell out of them. Those poor girls should be taken away from that pathetic excuse of a man. If I were their mother, I’d return that ass whoopin’ to him tenfold.

  • http://twitter.com/eclectic_soul Amy B

    I hope someone called child protective services on the father, because that is straight up child abuse.

  • http://twitter.com/aurelielb Aurelie Barbe

    Shouldn’t the police be intervening here?

  • http://ChristinaGleason.com/ Christina Gleason

    You know who I hopes sees the video the dad made? The police. It will be the perfect evidence when they bring the child abuse case against him. (I’m assuming. I’m not watching that.)

    • Jen

      I hope someone reported the video or forwarded it or something to the police.

  • LoveyDovey

    Where do I submit this? No idea where this took place but I want to turn this video over to someone so it can be looked into and these girls can get some help.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I think people have, actually, and the video was banned from you tube

  • msenesac

    I have no idea why I clicked on that link. It’s one of those most disturbing videos I’ve ever seen. IF (big IF) you should EVER have to spank (which I do NOT condone), the first hit is for the kid. Any others are for the hitter. Yes, there is a serious lack of discipline out there nowadays by some parents. But physical abuse is not the answer.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I really tried to warn people :( I hear you, it made me cry

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      I agree with the line between punishment and anger. Read, one hit versus multiple. I spank my child, but only for big things. He is a toddler and still learning. He has gotten spanked for trying to run into the road and for climbing up on things like my dining room table or his changing table where he could fall and get seriously injured. And these spankings consist of two swats on his butt while I say no no. Never is this done in anger or frustration. My intention is to teach him, not hurt him. For smaller things, we do time out. This is what works for my kid. As he gets older and is able to communicate with me and understand more, the spanking will stop and I will be able to talk to him.

      The punishment this father doled out was harsh, to say the least. I agree that the what the girls did is pretty serious, but they are old enough to be talked to and listen and be punished in other ways like, I don’t know, maybe taking their computers and/or phones from them so you don’t have to worry about them posting such trash. Just saying.

    • whiteroses

      I can think of maybe three times off the top of my head that I was spanked growing up. All of those times were instances where I put myself or others in danger (unwittingly). One of my earliest memories is standing in a busy street while my grandmother begged me to walk over to her. She grabbed me and pulled me to safety. I laughed and thought it was a game. After she spanked me, I never did it again. I never doubted that my grandmother loved me, and still does. At two, I was far too young to understand that it wasn’t funny and could have killed me.

  • Kelli Campbell

    How do you truly love your child and bring yourself to beat the f out of them with a cable like that?! He was putting all his weight into each slap, too. Now, this is coming from the mother of one child…a 2-year-old…so it’s easy for me to sit back and judge this father. I haven’t reached teenage years yet, haha! Even still, I know this is inappropriate, no matter how mad you are. There are simply better, more effective ways to handle it. He was probably disciplined this way, so it’s all he knows.

  • http://twitter.com/Elizabethann1 Elizabeth Denton

    Someone is going to submit this to social services right? That’s what needs to happen, regardless of the conversation.

  • C.J.

    What that father did is abuse, I can’t believe people are being supportive of that. He should have his children taken away and be made to take anger management classes.

  • Carm

    He’s not just an asshole. He’s a criminal. On video. Is anyone pressing charges?

  • http://www.facebook.com/houde.veronique Véronique Houde

    The fact is that this guy is hitting his children openly and putting it online. Which means he doesn’t feel that it is wrong. I can only imagine that if he does THIS publicly, what does he do behind closed doors?

  • yinthworld

    Not good parenting…agreed. Effective? Most definitely! Where did this happen? I can tell you where! In an urban setting where parents are doing what they NEED to do to keep their children from being a statistic. I’m sure many suburban, stay-at-home mommies never have to explain to a minority child that it’s either their discipline , cops baton, or a random guy taking interest in their young bodies. I’d dole out an ass whooping in a heartbeat under those circumstances. Sounds pretty hypocritical since I don’t beat children, but lesson learned. Horrific huh? They were just dancing?!?! Mistake number 1….dancing like a stripper to post so people on the internet can observe is not dancing. Have your wonderful beautiful daughters want to undertake the very respectable job as an exotic “dancer” and see where you stand on this being just dancing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shelly-Lloyd/826469442 Shelly Lloyd

      How do you know it was effective? How do you know they wont do again, but this time hide it better? How do you know they are not going to go out and become an exotic dancer?

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      and what if they did anyway?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shelly-Lloyd/826469442 Shelly Lloyd

      Honestly, I think the worse part about exotic dancers is that you don’t have a long life span for a career. I have heard that often once you turn 25 or so the club owners want a “newer” model. But I do not know from personal experience only from what I have been told by dancers.
      All I wanted to say was that beating your child is not an effective means of discipline.

    • yinthworld

      If it were me it would have been effective. If I grew up in a house where I just got my behind handed to me on a platter for my friends to see…I wouldn’t be posting another video to anywhere! Funny thing about these comments, they are OPINIONS. But some treat their opinions are bonafide facts. Tell the single mom that putting a beating on her sons to keep them straight and ALIVE isn’t effective. I tend to assume that most people here are educated and have developed some type educated awareness to how to raise kids without spankings, beatings, whippings, and what not. To expect that same kind of KNOWLEDGE to be universal is an error! Granted it should be, but it’s not. Reality exists and it’s a little more unnerving that some people only see the realities of “the other side” through YouTube.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shelly-Lloyd/826469442 Shelly Lloyd

      So you are saying it is ok to beat a child as long as that is the only thing a parent knows how to do?

    • yinthworld

      No way! There is a much saner way to discipline children. Whether you, I, or anyone likes it…some parents prefer to discipline their children by hitting them.

    • Marcy

      My own anecdotal post aside, the links between abuse (usually defined as any physical correction that leaves bruises or worse) and criminality, addiction, poverty, etc., are well documented. That’s not opinion; that’s science. This is just one example of many such studies:

      http://aysps.gsu.edu/publications/2006/downloads/CurrieTekin_ChildAbuse.pdf

      From the abstract: “We find that maltreatment approximately doubles the probability of engaging in many types of crime. Low SES children are both more likely to be mistreated and suffer more damaging effects. Boys are at greater risk than girls, at least in terms of increased propensity to commit crime. ”

      I suspect there is no nudging you from your own entrenched beliefs (particularly the belief that there is some line between hitting and abuse), but nonetheless, I’ve made an effort to offer you more than opinion.

    • yinthworld

      I’ll look at it and respond accordingly. But as far as entrenched beliefs…there is a line between hitting and abuse. I don’t believe you need to hit children, but if that’s the discipline you go for…so be it. What misled you to think i condone abuse, or even whoopings, is beyond me. My severe version of discipline for these girls would be along the lines of restricting their access to friends, computers, and anything else that led them to think what they did was cool. His version was to embarrass the crap out of them. I can’t think of any other reason to film and upload it.

    • Marcy

      What led me to believe you condone it? Because you’ve done nothing but condone it. Where? Here: “If that’s the discipline you go for…so be it.” That? That’s condoning it, not for yourself, but for people who “go for it.”
      Every single post you’ve made contains a similar statement. “Some parents prefer to discipline their children by hitting them” and elsewhere, you wrote that it’s “effective” parenting. So, yes, it seems that you’re okay with it or, at least, you see it as a personal prerogative and one that others shouldn’t judge or interfere with.

      At any rate, I’ve said what I have to say.

    • yinthworld

      Of course it’s a personal prerogative. Like being a vegetarian or not. It’s new info to me that how you discipline your children has to be approved by others. Yes you can have time out…no you can’t lock your kids away for days on end. Some things go without saying. So I’m very happy to condone someone’s personal choice. This dude opened himself up to be judged. And damn right it seemed effective to me. I would have learned my lesson. Some don’t. Sitting and talking out problems works just fine for me. But to some it doesn’t. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether back by quantitative data or not, and some opinions don’t sit well with some people.

    • whiteroses

      “His version was to embarrass the crap out of them?” Okay, if embarrassment equals open wounds on their thighs, then that totally makes sense.

    • yinthworld

      Read through the study written by an economist. Interesting. But not science. That’s called common sense. Crime begats more crime. Child abuse is a crime. Raise your child in a criminalistic setting, does it take 90,000 high school students to tell an economist what will happen next? But I’m guessing you were generalizing that every whooping is child abuse. So every child that gets beat as a high probability of being a criminal. I tend to stay away from generalizations like that.

    • Gangle

      I figure, if you aren’t clever enough to out-think and discipline your children in a calm, non-violent manner, then you aren’t clever enough to make beatings, whipping or any other form of violent punishment effective as a disciplinary tool either.

    • msenesac

      You are right. I imagine the girls would’ve also learned their lesson if the dad had shaved off all of their hair. Or punched them in the face. Let’s condone those things as well! Hell, as long as they are effectively scaring the shit of of our kids, let’s do it!

    • Edify

      So when a kid isn’t kept “straight and ALIVE” is it because their parents didn’t beat them hard enough?

    • Nopesir

      I’m not going to be kind with you, So i will just say this: Please shove your head in the nearest hornet’s nest.

    • yinthworld

      Didn’t ask for kindness. Raise your kids correctly. Maybe they won’t grow up to be derelicts of society, such as gang members and mass murderers included.

    • Nopesir

      I refuse to beat my kids. Thats NOT good parenting, and i’m sorry it makes you a very shitty parent in my opinion. According to research, Spanking may in fact make more it more likely for your cute wittle pwecious snowflawkes to, as you say, “be derelicts of society.” In fact, its often used as a STRONG INDICATOR of violent behavior.

      I’m sorry but no, its used as a tool for abuse so FUCK no. i don’t care how personal I get but my childhood would have been so much better, as would my ADULT personal life if I hadn’t had this exact sort of punishment “justified” simply because i happened to be at the wrong place and the wrong time by my mother. I had fingers broken, bruises that took up my entire backside, welts in the shape of belt buckles, broom handles and hangers because I somehow was a bad fucking child for merely BEING a 6 year old child. I want you to tell me I was being bad.

      I fucking DARE you to justify my abuse on the basis i deserved it, because GUESS WHAT? No. NO I didn’t. I wasn’t even DOING anything half the time. I was sometimes just PLAYING calmly and it’d come out of literally BUTT FUCK NOWHERE.

      This girl didn’t deserve it EITHER. How can you look at the fucking video and see it as COMPLETELY NORMAL?? What fucked up universe do you live in that its ok because she was “dancing like a stripper.” Thats NOT even a good reason! Punish her in other ways, not beat the fuck out of her with an electric cord, are you INSANE?

      If I had children, I would still not beat them because it causes more harm then good. Theres a myriad of other ways to ensure your child remains a paradigm of goodness and smacking their block off never produces that result plain and simple. So when i have kids? I’m pretty sure I’m not going to raise gang members or murderers. Besides, many serial killers backstories INCLUDE histories of spanking and abuse so…I think your argument falls incredibly flat on that regard.

      http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

      http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html

      http://www.utexas.edu/know/2011/03/22/spanking/

      http://www.opposingviews.com/arguments/spanking-has-negative-side-effects

      http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=to-spank-or-not-to-spank

  • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

    While I understand that a lot of kids don’t have a father in their life to set them straight, this is NOT what they need, either. Sure, he taught them. He taught them to live in fear and not screw up for fear of getting BEAT! That’s not a relationship. That’s not setting boundaries! Take away the internet. Take away any cameras. Tell them WHY you think it’s inappropriate and that they should value themselves more than that.

  • http://twitter.com/TwAlexLee Alex Lee

    As a father, *I* am going to learn this. If my kids want to participate, that’s fine, too – but I suspect that once I start twerking, it’ll no longer be cool and, well, problem solved.

    I don’t have a unicorn onesie, but I do have a sombrero and a serape.

    Let’s do this.

    • Marcy

      You’re kinda my new personal hero. Hope that’s not weird for you.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Ask him to show you the cake he made me.

    • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

      I can totally imagine some father finding his daughter’s “sexy dance” on youtube and just walking into her room and doing that same dance for like ten minutes straight.

      That’s worse torture than getting beat. Those bruises fade, there’s no such thing as brain bleach!

    • http://sarahhollowell.com/ Sarah Hollowell

      You are my new favorite person.

    • whiteroses

      Don’t take this the wrong way, because I’m very happily married, but…. I think I love you.

  • Rachel Sea

    That was sick. That man not only thinks it’s a good idea to whip his kids, but he is so shameless as to capture it on video? I hope that whole family gets help.

  • ElisaBeth

    Ok… there is a difference between popping a bottom once or twice MAYBE even three times if the offence was dangerous, and literally WHIPPING your child with a cord; that HURTS, it causes welts, bruises and open wounds that can last weeks and sometimes even emotional damage; and the way he kept going… plus who is recording it? Who would have THOUGHT of recording it? The mother? Just… ugh

  • Danielle Dyer

    Im sory but i have to say something…you all are looking at a miliy cyrus video and comparing that to what those girls where doing. Do me a favor and go to youtube and search for the twerk team (spelled exactly like that). Thats what these girls were doing! Being fastand acting grown! You all are a bunch of women…think about how this father must have felt to catch his two baby girls dancing like a hoe and posting it online for the world to see. Not to mention they had on clothes!! so while im sure that cord stung it didnt sting as much as it shouldve. And the reason the second one got it the worst is because she was the oldest! I applaud that father. Cuz now those girls know not to ever do it again.

    • yinthworld

      Yup! Miley Cyrus…really?!?! Where do they think she got it from?!?! Go ahead and listen for the lyrics in Pop That by the illustrious French Montana. To think Miley Cyrus began this mess!

    • Danielle Dyer

      Trust me Pop That is mild compared to some of the other songs out there. Pop that is a milder version of the Tip Drill video by Nelly. The fact that people are comparing what Miley did to what real twerking is, is very short of the truth and fact.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shelly-Lloyd/826469442 Shelly Lloyd

      I know exactly what Twerking is and how it is done and if I ever saw my SON or Daughter do it I still would not beat them with an electric cord over it. I’ll punish them–but I’m not going to beat them over it.
      My father use to do that to us, it never stop us from doing what ever we wanted. All it taught us was not to trust him; and taught us how to hide our mistakes from him. I never went to either of my parents with any sort of problem because that would mean a beating. These girls may or may not ever “twerk” again; But they may also leave home at 16 just to get away from their father. My sister ran away, got pregnant and got married at 17. I legally “divorced” my parents at 17 and moved out.

    • Danielle Dyer

      And again I say maybe talking didnt help them. A firm ass whooping will tho. I was taught you will respect my rules as long as you live in my house. Acting like a hoe (and for the world to see) will NEVER be acceptable. You sister (and i dont know her but from experience) thought she was grown when in actually was still a child. So when she moved out thats what you get. You do what the hell you want without a guiding hand to tell you that what your doing is wrong. What you all fail to see is this is a FATHER who walked in on his UNDERAGE TEENAGE DAUGHTERS. Dancing like hoes thinking it was cute and posting it online for the world to see. Yeah he shouldnt have recorded it but that whooping will stick for years and they WILL learn to think before they do something else stupid and dumb.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shelly-Lloyd/826469442 Shelly Lloyd

      You are right, you don’t know my sister; but let me tell you at 16 both her and I had more life experience than most. She did what she felt she had to do in order to get way from getting abused. She has been married to the same man for 15 years. They have 4 children–3 of them girls–and they are well behaved young women and she has never laid a hand on them.
      I too have never felt I had to resort to abusing my children in order to get them to behave.
      All those two girls are going to learn is not to trust him. That will hurt him much more in the long run.

    • Danielle Dyer

      Welp thats your sister and thats you. Talking and time out dont help everybody.

    • Gangle

      Danielle, in my house growing up, punishment was fair but swift. If you had really messed up, or talking and grounding proved continually ineffective, we were put to work. Every waking minute was spent working your tail off digging out the garden, cleaning out the shed, painting the fence, cleaning the gutters, clearing out weeds, basically all the really crap jobs. This grounding lasted all weekend. My parents never once laid a hand on me or my siblings, and none of us were ever cussed at.
      We learnt discipline really quickly. Absolutely NO WAY we wanted to get stuck doing that over something stupid. We all also learnt important things like gardening, car maintenance and home maintenance. We also learnt to respect our parents.
      Not one of us, not even my wayward and troublesome brothers, ended up with children outside of marriage, criminal records or on welfare.
      Floggings teach nothing.

    • Danielle Dyer

      You had a house….looking at the surroundings im going to assume they dont have a house with a yard and a fence. Did it look like they had a lot of furniture in there? So please try again.

    • Gangle

      Oh and you completely missed the point! If my parents did not have a house with a yard (and no, although we had a house, we most certainly did NOT have a lot growing up. Money was thin on the ground and my parents sacrificed a lot to keep that roof over our heads) they would have had me volunteering at soup kitchens, community gardening projects and cleaning up parks. Sending us to the local animal shelter to shovel poop all day. Whatever. Heck, even getting in and literally scrubbing every single surface in the house with a toothbrush until it sparkled. They would have found plenty for us to do. The point was that we had to work off our misdeed and learn responsibility. You don’t need affluence or a house with a yard to do that. Low income is not an excuse for domestic violence.

    • C.J.

      You’re right, talking and time out’s don’t help everybody but beatings don’t help anybody. Beating a child is abuse, nobody should ever be abused. There is no excuse to beat a child. There are laws against child abuse for a reason.

    • Danielle Dyer

      Try being raised in the urban community where you are taught from day one that your skin color is one strike against you. To be a female that makes two. You are already judged by your looks from the gate. N people expect you to act a fool. So as a parent, to have your child, who you already know has everything going against her, get online and shake her ass in front of a camera for attention is a disgrace to everything you may have taught her about the world and the people in it and embarrassing That video is going to follow them for the rest of their lives. Once it hits the internet it will ALWAYS and FOREVER be on the internet. So you can take it down but its too late. Somebody has saved it, somebody has watched it, somebody has shared it. So that father’s reaction is the right one. For the lady who posted that if your daughter posted naked pics on the internet and all you did was take internet, phone and everything else. You didnt do shit cuz u cant supervise her every move. If she wants it to get out there she will. If she wants to be sneaky she will because if she gets caught all thats gon happen is ima be grounded, she gon fuss, ill be on my best behavior for a while to shut her up and then its back to normal. But those girls every time they think about twerking or shaking they ass in front of a camera they will think of that beat down they got. N think twice. N use better judgement . Thats the way you learn. Not all the time but it is the way you learn. *the best lesson learned is one that hurt* But let me ask you all this….Had you just seen the video of the girls twerking no beatings involved, would you have thought it was cute? Clapped your hands and cheered them on? Would you encourage your daughters to do the same dance? Would you jump in with them and shake your ass on camera with them and then laughed about it. If the answer is no than leave this man alone for teaching his daughters what they should not do.

    • C.J.

      I doubt there are very many people who think the girl behaviour was appropriate. That’s not the point. Beating a child is never ok no matter what colour you are. The colour of someone’s skin doesn’t give them the right to abuse a child. People are pretty much the same on the inside. We all learn what we are taught as children by our parents or guardians. Sure the girls are not likely to make a twerking video and put it on the internet again but what happens when they are in trouble and they are afraid to go to their parents. People make mistakes, including kids. It’s called being human. So when a child that is abused makes a mistake or finds themselves in a bad situation beyond their control who are they going to go to, not their parents. They would be too afraid to ask for help because they would know they would get beat. What happens when an abused child grows up and thinks it is ok for her husband to beat her because that is what she is used to. Of coarse her kids get beat too because that is what she is used to. That’s why the cycle of abuse often never ends. You can bring children up in a strict household without beating them. My children do not get away with much. I do not negotiate with them on very many things. They know what I expect from them and rarely do I have to punish them. They also know they are going to make mistakes and when they do to come to us. They know that even if we are upset with them we will always help them find a solution.They know we discipline them and have rules because we love them. I grew up in the same type of household as my children are growing up in. I was never beat. I received a couple of swats on the bum when I was little but that was it as far as physical punishment went. I didn’t dare disobey my parents because I knew I would be punished, usually with lot and lots of extra chores. You don’t need to beat a child to teach them to obey. Beating a child does not teach them to respect their parents or themselves. It teaches them to fear their parents and to think they aren’t worth anything. This type of attitude is why there is still so much child abuse.

    • Edify

      Likewise, their Dad posted this on the Internet and it will also follow them everywhere they go. Even without discussing the assault, how on earth is the humiliation justified?

    • http://www.facebook.com/houde.veronique Véronique Houde

      i think that when they say “the best lessons are the ones that hurt”, they aren’t talking about physical pain.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shelly-Lloyd/826469442 Shelly Lloyd

      What makes you think that all I have ever done is talking and time outs? I rarely used time outs. I’m much more creative than that.

    • msenesac

      Beating your child is just plain lazy parenting. Instead, maybe spend time with your kids and teach them the right way to behave.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I watched even more twerk videos and sooooooo what? It’s not like, the polka but big whoop, it looks more goofy than sexual. and I don’t think any woman doing that should be called a “hoe”

    • Danielle Dyer

      SMH…are yall serious right now? It looks goofy to you but what about that teenage boy who now looks at them as nothing more than a piece of meat. Or that grown peverted man on the internet who likes little girls who is getting off on that video? But had we just seen the video of them shaking they ass and nothng happening than we’d be the first ones screaming out “where are the parents” “these lil girls need to sit down somewhere” “Somebody not doing what they should in the home” Well he did what he needed and felt was right. But we can agree to disagree.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Oh totally, the dad should have taken down the video, but no way in hell should he have beaten his girl

    • Jane

      Big whoop? Really?? Maybe you haven’t seen the videos that I have
      seen. Twerking can range from simple innocent dance routine to down
      right x-rated video.

      In the world of online predators I would take what my daughter posts of herself very seriously. While we don’t know what type of twerking it was, to downplay what these kids did maybe sending the wrong message. Also we don’t know who these kids are. Just having them taking down the video may not be the right punishment for them. They may interpret it as, “well dad thinks this wrong because he is old.”

    • Gangle

      It wouldn’t matter if I caught my daughter posting naked pictures on the internet, I would not beat her with an electrical cord. Video down, yes. No more internet or mobile phones, yes. Grounded from all activity outside of the home and school, yes. Spending every weekend for a month doing hard labour weeding my garden and painting my fence? Yes.

      Flogging publicised on the internet, NO NO NO!

    • Jane

      Again, I didn’t even make any comments about this father’s actions, nor will I even provide an opinion on his actions. I mearly was making a point of the author’s statements “…it looks more goofy than sexual”

    • msenesac

      I would think that grounded the girls from all electronics (phone, computer, etc) would be MUCH more effective than screaming obscenities at them while hitting them. Do you really think this is the type of dad to help his kids do their homework later on that night? What kind of relationship is he fostering with his kids? Certainly not a healthy nurturing one.

    • Danielle Dyer

      Do you know this dad? whos to say he isnt that dad to help his daughters teach them the right way to go. All you saw was a 30 second clip of a whooping for two girls. N just cuz u took it away at home dont mean i cant use it at school.

    • whiteroses

      I’d say that whipping your daughters like a pair of donkeys and screaming “Motherfuckers” at them is a pretty good indicator that he’s an awful dad.

    • Jane

      ” Do you really think this is the type of dad to help his kids do their
      homework later on that night? What kind of relationship is he fostering
      with his kids? Certainly not a healthy nurturing one.”

      See this what I love about the internet — people basing their opinions on bits of information. To answer your questions I don’t know. Do you know what this father has done prior to this video to stop his girls from going in the wrong direction? Do you even know what goes on from day to day in their household? I surely don’t and I don’t try to understand what was going on with this family dynamic based on this video alone.

      Alas, the point I was making was the fact that the author makes light in the girls posting twerking video as if it was a bunny hop video. In reality, the twerking can be downright sexual and if that was the case I’d be upset. Everyone has the right to their opinion on how they would deal with the situation.

    • whiteroses

      He whipped them with an electrical cord while screaming “Motherfuckers’ at them. I’m confused as to how that’s okay, no matter your color or the world you live in.

  • Tinyfaeri

    I’m fully in the “let’s not beat our kids” crowd, and come hell or highwater no one will ever spank my daughter as punishment for anything. A parent should be a source of rules, guidelines, discipline and love, but never fear. There’s no excuse for beating your child with anything…never mind taking a VIDEO of it AND POSTING THE VIDEO ON THE INTERNET where nothing ever goes away. Because that’s so much better than whatever dance they were doing.

  • Nopesir

    no, thats fucking abuse. Trust me..I’d KNOW from my own experience. Thats fucking abuse. I can’t even keep calm right now. Over a silly video?

  • K.

    What kind of idiot does that and then posts it on the Internet?!! Who wants to publicize themselves hitting their kids??

  • EmmaFromÉire

    To the people justifying what he did- you make me sick. My father never spanked me, gave me a ‘whooping’ and he certainly never abusively beat me when I was growing up and (shock! horror!) I turned out great. So did my siblings. We never had a hand raised to us. Where necessary privileges were taking away, groundings were given, serious discussions had. What this vile man did disgusts and infuriates me. Hurting your child is NEVER acceptable.

    What’s the next step from this eh? That stupid bitch wife bought the wrong meat from the market, a smack would teach her to never do it again? Or maybe your husband drove on a potholey road and a tyre burst, better beat him with the tyre iron for being so stupid. If you wouldn’t beat your equal, don’t beat someone considerably smaller and weaker who cannot defend themselves.

    • Tao

      “If you wouldn’t beat your equal, don’t beat someone considerably smaller and weaker who cannot defend themselves” <THIS My partner was physically abused as a child and still flinches away when someone has their hand near her face. Physical violence just teaches kids to fear the people around them

  • Izwuditiz

    As a parent who woke up one early morning to see his own 14 y/o daughter half naked on Facebook…I completely understand the father. Before anyone says anything negative about my daughter…she’s a 4.3 gpa student who made a bad choice. I beat her ass over those pics. And I haven’t had another issue with inappropriate behavior or dress. Anyone who says simply talking to your children will solve ALL problems…doesn’t have any children!

    • meteor_echo

      I hope that she sticks you into a nursing home when you’re old, and then forgets about you. Or maybe gets back at you once you’re older and weaker and she’s still young and strong.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Dude, even though this is terrifying and awful I sort of wish you would submit this story to Mommyish for publication. Even though I don’t think any kids deserves to be beaten ever

    • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

      Does she know why she should value herself more than to post pictures like that or is she not doing it out of fear of you “beating her ass”?

    • Kat

      Because she’s afraid of you. What happens if she grows up and marries a man who “beats her ass” when he doesn’t agree with her? She’ll think she deserves it, because that’s what Daddy taught her. You said yourself it was just one mistake… you sure?

    • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

      Why the HELL was my comment deleted?!

  • 2transport

    I think that he should have went to jail there is another
    Way of dealing with that situation he probably post that
    On tube himself just for attention he must remember that he
    Have to grow old

  • Frustrated@theworld

    I just would like to say I think that this father deserves a handshake. People who are shaking their head no they don’t approve, just dont understand. I am an African American female, there are alot of double standards in this world for a female like me. My parents gave me a whopping or a spanking because thats one way my parents disciplined me. I am not a tortured soul or abused. These girls needed a punishment, and thats what their father chose. Who are you to say no when he is trying to save them from becoming a statistic? Someone- who alot of you will look down upon and say “You parents did not raise you well”"your father didnt love you” Please shut up. These girls think that shaking their bodies on youtube or worldstar will give them popularity but they are just misguided teenagers. Twerking is NOT JUST DANCING, its sending a message to this world that this young girl is nothing but her body. You think she deserves a time out for that? Maybe a cell phone restriction? Stop being ignorant and understand that people raise their children differently and by this man trying to save his daughters I will continue to give him a hand clap. If it was your daughter shaking her ass on a camera for attention what would you do? No friends over to the house for a week? Children that are discipline and cared for in African American homes become better citizens, Children in non black homes who get “time out” kill their parents. Im just saying….time out, grounding, restriction of phones-for teenagers dont help them become better people. A spanking means is a call to action, those girls will actually learn better, and I believe they will not be twerking anymore.

    • whiteroses

      If it was my daughter, I’d sit her down and ask why in the world she thought this was a rational course of action. If you’re going to make generalizations, check out the story of Paula Cooper- or you could better look her up by Googling her victim, Ruth Pelke. Paula Cooper was subject to horrific abuse- such as regular beatings with an electrical cord- from the time she was small. In 1985 she stabbed Ruth Pelke- and one of the stab wounds was so deep it shredded the carpet beneath her victim. To this day, Cooper can’t say why she did it. Cooper was 15. She was given a death sentence. She’s still alive today in prison because something about her story, and the abuse she suffered, touched people. And she’s actually managed to make something of herself, not that she’s ever, or will ever, be able to use it.
      And by the way? Paula Cooper is African American.

    • Jen

      Actually you are totally incorrect. I work in counseling, in under privileged, usually African American communities. These kids come in talk about the “whoopings” and what not and are court ordered to see me and my colleagues because they USE DRUGS to cope with the stuff at home. So great you proved a point by beating the hell out of your kid. They won’t dance provocatively anymore, but when you aren’t around they are going to smoke and drink and likely engage in sex now. Congrats! Effective parenting!

    • http://twitter.com/MissColeman3 Miss Coleman

      If you have to beat your children to that degree, then you’ve already failed as a parent. You failed to instill a sense authority and respect in that child when they were little, making violence your only way of controlling them as they get bigger. My parents never raised a hand to us and we never shook our asses on camera, did drugs, committed crimes, etc because we’d been taught proper behavior and respect from ourselves from an early age. Without violence.

      Ofc we screwed up at times, but when we got in trouble, we respected the punishments doled out to us because our parents had been consistent from the beginning. Therefore, none of us now associate love with violence.

  • Pingback: Stories Of Child Abuse Are Never Justified

  • LetsBeRealFolks

    Twerking has been around long before Miley Cyrus honey. These girls are 12 yrs old, shaking their ass, recording it & then going to upload it to YouTube for the world to see? I don’t think so. What they don’t realize is that while it may only be a “dance”, its a sexual one. And there are thousands of predators who prey on little girls just like them. Its all fun & games until someone sees your video & thinks your body is up for grabs!

    While the extension cord may have been extreme, sometimes a good ole ass whooping is needed! He’s probably old school & old school parents don’t do time out. They do foot to ass! I bet their fast asses will think twice before doing something like this again.

    • Kat

      I’m sorry, did you mean to write “fat asses”? I sincerely hope not, otherwise your own daughter’s social media incedent makes a hell of a lot more sense. You’re sick.

    • Ki

      No, its fast not fat.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rockergina Gina Dwyer

    “Anger management” is pseudoscience, and doesn’t work. What he needs is straight up behavior modification techniques, and hardcore therapy. In the meantime, those little girls need to be somewhere safe. There are WAY too many people out there who have no business having children. We have a test you must pass before you can drive a car, maybe it’s time to start testing people before allowing them to have kids. Are these people even HUMAN?!?!

  • LaidbackENT

    Scouring the internet, I find that the only people who are disgusted by the video are white people. Secondly, miley cyrus never started twerking, it actually predates her by many years so the introduction to this blog is false. How about you actually search up twerking and you would have full grasp on the seriousness of the situation.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      You are acting like twerking is causing the breakdown of civilized society. And me not knowing about twerking has nothing to do with me being white, it has to do with me being OLD

    • LaidbackENT

      Twerking is nothing more then a dance of whoredom and yes it is breaking down civilized society for the black community. Last thing we need is more young girls growing up to become whores that perpetuate the single parent epidemic that is plaguing our people.

      My opinion is that this video is a black issue that should be dealt with in the black community but this is the white mans world so obviously, we have people like you who will cry out for long arm of the law to undermine this mans authority over his own household, thus leaving the whoredom to grow unabated.

    • LaidbackENT

      Twerking is nothing more then a dance of whoredom and yes it is breaking down civilized society for the black community. Last thing we need is more young girls growing up to become whores that perpetuate the single parent epidemic that is plaguing our people.

      My opinion is that this video is a black issue that should be dealt with in the black community but this is the white mans world so obviously, we have people like you who will cry out for long arm of the law to undermine this mans authority over his own household, thus leaving the whoredom to grow unabated.

    • Gangle

      Want to help stop the breakdown of society? Stop calling women whores.

    • whiteroses

      Women, young girls… yeah, I agree with Gangle. Just stop.

    • whiteroses

      And if the girls in the video and their father were white, you’d be baying for his blood. Try again.

    • Edify

      Why don’t you start a little further back then with the rappers who treat women like their only value is to shake their ass for the camera.

    • http://twitter.com/MissColeman3 Miss Coleman

      So, if a crime is committed by a black person, it’s a “Black issue that should be dealt with in the black community”? Are you advocating for segregated judicial systems? White crimes handled by white people, Latino crimes by Latinos ans so forth? How odd.

  • Valerie

    If you hit a child. You are a bully. Being an adult does NOT MAKE IT OKAY. IT IS NOT OKAY TO HIT ANYONE. IT IS EVEN WORSE TO HIT A PERSON WHO IS SMALLER AND HELPLESS. People, we are not animals. We are smarter than monkeys right? We can get points across without beating children. I believe that. I believe the human race is totally capable of teaching their children how to behave without breaking out an extension cord, tree limb, shoe, belt or whatever. Kids are not the enemies, we do not need to BREAK them or BEAT them. Would you hit a tiny newborn? No. Because that is idiotic and cruel. That is abuse, without question. All children start out as tiny newborns and when they came into the world, their parents intended on loving them and caring for them (ideally). Why would that feeling of love change because a child is now 11 or 15 or whatever age? It should never change. You show a person love by caring for them, not beating them. You teach your kids how to act. If they do something stupid or careless that is because they made a mistake. You can fix a mistake, you can make up for a mistake, you can learn from a mistake, but when the person who is supposed to protect you, hurts you painfully and cruelly, you lose trust, you lose love, you lose a connection with that person. It is lost forever. I hope that one day humanity remembers we are ABOVE those base actions. And our children can be safe from their parents. Teach through actions. Teach through words. Teach through LOVE. That is a parent. Anyone can hit, but it takes a really smart person to think of a better way to communicate a point. Are you a dumbass or a smartass? I’d rather be a smartass any day.

  • guest304

    I think a spanking (swat the behind) here and there is fine.

    That is child abuse. Please tell me he has been arrested and those girls are safe.

  • Chelsea

    Twerking has been around for a long time though… tons of people had twerking videos out. It’s not a new Harlem Shake trend… unless you’re talking about when urban dance trends are around for over 10 years until someone does it horribly and reclaims it. It would’ve happened and has happened before. If the father had taken away internet access or had a video made of them apologizing and took them to counseling, that may have done something. My friend did the same things at their age and expected spankings instead of real punishment.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Actual twerking and what Miley Cyrus did is very different, but Eve isn’t wrong, this new Miley brand of twerking is a trend (I have no idea why, but then again I am getting too old for this shiz).

  • Emeli

    First, Miley didn’t start the twerking video revolution or whatever you choose to call it. She was the one doing the copying, next. I get why they got whooped but I cringed the entire time because it was done wrong! You should explain to them why you’re disciplining them then whoop them on their butts with a belt. He was angry and cursing them out while hitting them all over their body with a cord. Miley did the wop dance that has a small part of twerking in it. Go on YouTube and see the real sexually ass popping that twerking is. He was definitely wrong how he went about it but know the FULL truth before calling someone a bad parent.

    • Tinyfaeri

      I don’t care if they were stripping, beating them with an electrical cord, taking a video of it and putting that video on the internet is not the way to handle it. Also, there’s no “right” or “good” or “nice” way to beat someone with a belt. Beating a child with anything is bad parenting.

    • Emeli

      To each his own.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Not in the eyes of the law.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      Hitting a child (or anyone) with a belt is illegal. It’s called aggravated assault. I’m not against spanking. I don’t do it but my gran occasionally swatted my behind and I am all the better for it. But what that man did, even if these girls had been literally selling their bodies, is wrong and most important (as a woman who has peer counseled survivors of child abuse) illegal. Think what you want (and I get your point about actual twerking versus what Miley Cyrus did) but this man is not only a bad parent but a monster and a sociopath.

    • Emeli

      It’s illegal in some states but again to each his own. Everyone’s raised different therefore they see things differently.

    • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

      In my opinion “to each their own”stops when a child is being abused. Like I said, spanking with an open hand is much, much different from beating someone with a belt. And a beating with a belt is better than with a cord. It’s cruel and unusual punishment.

  • Kat

    I don’t know if you or anyone else is thinking what I’m thinking, but I’ll say it. The fact that this was recorded in an already “suggestive” theme gives me an even more inappropriate idea… I just can’t even finish that thought. And please shut up with the culture comments, everyone. Boo fucking hoo. A man whipped — WHIPPED, with an extension cord — his teenage daughters. Fuck culture. I already have a rough time with the argument that a black father is forced to sell crack, or a black mother is forced to sell herself for her family (hmm, who’s creating racial stereotypes?). But this? This is way over the line of unreasonable bullshit. I used to think you parentzillas were just too lazy for talks or timeouts, but I see what it is. It’s all a cover for the real reason: Misery loves company. You’re proud to pass down this so-called lesson of cruelty through generations, because now you get to hold the reins. Well, here’s the fucking ceremony, huh? Grow up.

  • Kat

    I’ll be the brave one. The fact that this was recorded under an already “suggestive” theme gives me an even more inappropriate idea of what’s up here. And please shut up with the culture comments, everyone. A man whipped — WHIPPED, with an extension cord — his teenage daughters. Fuck culture. I already have a rough time with the argument below that a black father is forced to sell crack, or a black mother is forced to sell herself for her family (hmm, who’s creating racial stereotypes?), but this? This is way over the line of unreasonable bullshit. I used to think you parentzillas were just too lazy for talks or timeouts, but I see what it is. It’s all a cover for the real reason: Misery loves company. You’re proud to pass down this so-called lesson of cruelty through generations, because now you get to hold the reins. Well, here’s the fricking ceremony then, huh? Grow up.

    Come on, mods! I’m referring to specific comments here. Don’t be so sensitive.

  • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

    Trigger warning there for anyone who chooses to watch that video. CPS should be involved and I never say that lightly. Beating with a belt isn’t just bad parenting it’s abuse. Severe abuse.

  • Jill

    Someone should beat Mylie Cyrus. All kidding aside, I have seen the video of the dad beating his daughters and it was disgusting.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/houde.veronique Véronique Houde

    Ok I’m totally gonna sound like an college-educated white girl talking about something I have no idea about, but here I go! The women of African-American descent are trying to make a point, that we are looking at this through a white-folks lens. I have to say that when I read that, I agreed. Different cultures have different ways of disciplining their children. Working on a helpline with kids, culture is something I always have to consider when counselling kids. I do remember studying about the cultural differences in discipline in different cultural communities, and yes it’s true, descendants of African cultures (therefore african-american, carribean, etc…) do use an authoritarian form of discipline, which is a form of discipline that does not work in a typically white american culture. But, according to research, it DOES work for african-americans, and that’s because of the structures of the families. It’s a more complex issue than just NOT hitting . I did take out my book about it, but good god I think that through the years of not being in school and having a young baby i’ve become dumber because it kind of looks like gibberish, but it has something to do with the fact that in african-american cultures and other cultures throughout the world, the father is seen as the leader of the family, and the family structure is such that it remains very tight with time. Children have obligations and respect towards their parents and money tends to move upwards. Love and respect that parents show their children is through authority and discipline. Physical punishments are used and are effective, BUT. And here is the key: Physical punishment should not be used as revenge, or out of anger. It should be just, and once the punishment has been dolled out, the family moves on and doesn’t dwell on the matter. The family unit continues as usual, and the child understands that the behavior was wrong. A child from this type of family does not feel unloved, he actually feels like his parents care for him.

    What was shown in this video however was NOT a proper way of disciplining your children in the cultural context discussed many times (ok white girl you might say, and I give you permission!) the fact that the father was swearing insults at the girls, beat them out of sheer ANGER and posted it online is not the way it should have done. That is why it is considered abuse, and why the mother probably reported it. The father got WAAAAAY carried away. I don’t doubt that he loves his children, but he needs to reevaluate what he did and how he got out of control.

    • http://www.facebook.com/houde.veronique Véronique Houde

      and if someone wants to make their head explode througha complicated but interesting read, the book that I’m talking about it named “Family, Self, and Human Development Across Cultures” by Çigdem Kagitçibasi

  • Makabit

    The Miley video is, indeed, kind of hypnotic. I can see it might be a sexy dance, but you can’t actually be sexy in a unicorn suit. It’s just alarmingly cute.

    Oh yes, and screw anyone who thinks beating a child is an appropriate response to dancing, or foolishly posting things to the Internet.

  • Kate

    If adults were PROPER PARENTS to BEGIN with… then physical abuse would never be needed.
    All you ghetto parents sayin “..oh yeah yeah, that’s good parenting, anything else is wussy parents”… well SCREW YOU.
    Good Parenting is steering your kids the right direction from the get-go. Low-life bottom feeders you people are.

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