STFU Parents: 4 Polite Ways To Get Your Friends Off Your Back About Having A Baby

I’m often asked, “How should I respond to my Facebook friends when they ask me when I plan to have a baby?” It’s both a simple and complicated question to answer, because technically the responses, “That’s not of your business,” and, “I don’t know,” work just fine no matter who you are.

Whether you plan to have kids or not (or aren’t sure, or are unable to, or happen to be allergic to children), it’s never polite to ask someone “when” she plans to have a baby. But that loaded question can actually be quite difficult to answer, especially depending on the circumstances and on who’s asking. If it’s an old family friend, or even a close friend who doesn’t mean to offend, it takes restraint not to reply with a GIF of a middle finger. And for those of us who have been asked that question more times than we can count, it begins to feel downright intrusive.

Last year I wrote a column about what not to say to your childfree friends on social media (or in general), and I think that subject should be discussed more in the blogosphere. There’s been so much talk in the past couple of years about women having it all, not having it all, being “too old” for kids or “too selfish” to want kids. It’s exhausting to keep up with the media tailspin, and women who opt out of having children are made to look like jerks or victims.

It’s an unfortunate aspect of our society that’s led to people popping the baby question like they’re asking what you’re having for lunch. After all, if the media has a right to talk about women’s uteruses, why shouldn’t your friend from junior high or your Great Aunt Sally, twice removed? They deserve to know!

Funnily enough, I started this column just before reading this post on the blog Young House Love over the weekend. It seems that “baby watch” has gone from running into acquaintances at the grocery store to Facebook comments and even to blog comments, with total strangers inquiring as to whether a blogger is pregnant.

I’ve had people ask me on my blog before, too, usually when I’ve shown some “sign” of “being pregnant,” like not posting for a week. One woman said, “Are you knocked up? I will laugh my ASS off when you realize that being a parent is actually hard. I hope you have triplets and we better not hear one word about your difficulties!” And others have asked me if I’m “on my period” if I appear to be in a bad mood. These are tried and true insults that men and women hurl when they’re trying to be “sassy,” and the comments can start to feel claustrophobic, not to mention depressing.

As a nation, we spent the better part of last year telling the government to stay out of our uteruses — but what about our friends and family, both on- and offline? If you’re me, you struggle not to use four-letter words in your replies, but in the spirit of being a Lady, I’ve compiled a few examples of people who politely told their friends and family that they’re not pregnant, not expecting a child, and/or not interested in having another child at the moment. May we all be so poised.

1. Way Too Many Punctuation Marks

STFU Parents

Megan is a saint. She swats away Jenny’s obnoxious comment with a smile, and hey, she can take herself out for a drink to celebrate, too, any old time she wants.

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    • JOES CANDRA

      am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye. web site http://osauyilovespell.webs.com

    • JOES CANDRA

      am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye. web site http://osauyilovespell.webs.com

    • JOES CANDRA

      am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye. web site http://osauyilovespell.webs.com
      …..

    • JOES CANDRA

      I am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye

    • JOES CANDRA

      I am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye.

    • JOES CANDRA

      I am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye….

    • Shakes Spear

      My Name is ADAEZE..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i went to Africa to Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos h ave tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizing and she told me she will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my wife got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out..you can reach him here: shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com…… CONTACT THIS POWERFUL SPELL CASTER TODAY VIA EMAIL:shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com..

    • Prophet Zack

      I am Prophet Zack, i welcome you all to my world and wiseindividualspells of solution i want to assure you that what so ever you contacted me for will come to pass for you with the powers of our ancestors. i want to let you know that i am here to help you in any problem you might be facing right now in your life, i have been in the field of helping people for over 42years now, i want to let you know that i have helped solving over 1000 peoples problems in different countries and they have never stopped calling me to thank me for the good work i have done for them my good work has spread to so many countries why is because they have seen my good work and they helped me spread it all over to the whole world. I want to let you know that the moment you contact me just consider all your problems solved because i know that once i commence on your spell work you are going to testify to the whole world here is my email address contact me with it ( wiseindividualspells@gmail.com)

      . Are you passing through any of these problems,

      DO YOU NEED YOUR EX BACK VERY FAST

      DO YOU NEED HIV CURE

      DO YOU WANT TO BE PREGNANT

      DON YOU WANT YOUR LOVER TO LOVE YOU AS NEVER LIKE BEFORE

      ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM A LONG TIME SICKNESS

      ARE YOU FACING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS

      ARE YOU SEEKING FOR A GOOD JOB

      DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A HOUSE OWNER

      ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FIRST CLASS GRADE

      DO YOU WANT TO COME OUT FIRST IN YOUR EXAMS

      ARE YOU A STAR AND YOU WANT TO BE SO POPULAR TO THE WHOLE WORLD

      DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH

      DO YOU WANT YOUR BUSINESS TO KEEP MOVING

      DO YOU HAVE A COMPANY OF ANY KIND AND YOU WANT IT TO EXPAND

      DO YOU WANT YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE TO KEEP TO YOUR WORLD

      ARE YOU FACING ANY MARITAL PROBLEMS

      ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO GET PREGNANT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

      ARE YOU EXPERIENCING MISCARRIAGES ANY TIME YOU TAKE IN

      DO YOU WANT TO COMPETE IN ANY LOTTERY GAME

      ARE YOU FACING HARDSHIP

      HAVE YOU BEEN THREATENED BY SOMEONE

      DO YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ANY THING YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON

      IS YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER BEHAVING STRANGELY

      ARE YOU FACING WITCH CRAFT MANIPULATIONS

      DO YOU WANT TO CAST A STRONG LOVE SPELL ON YOUR GIRL OR BOY FRIEND

      DO YOU HAVE ANY RELATION THAT IS ABNORMAL

      DO YOU NEED MAGIC POWERS TO DO ANY THING YOU WANT

      ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER

      DO YOU WANT YOUR PARENTS TO BE PROUD OF YOU

      DO YOU NEED A PROTECTION SPELL

      ARE YOU EXPERIENCING FAILURE AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN ANY THING YOU DO.(ETC)

      If you are facing any of these problems all you just need do is to contact via email ( wiseindividualspells@gmail.com)and it will be handle with full force and with my oracle and ancestors beside me i want to make you testify just the same way other people did that i have helped. Do not die in pain and silence email me so that your problems will be solved by me with full speed.I want welcome you again to my spell temple.If you have any problem that you want my help for just email me and immediately it will be solved. Here is my email address( wiseindividualspells@gmail.com)

    • Shakes Spear

      Shakira Elliot Says

      Am giving this testimony cos am happy

      My name is Shakira Elliot from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in June 28th 2013 this year on a business summit. i ment a man called DR SHAKES SPEAR. He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address: shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com

      GREAT SHAKES SPEAR i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. Email Him Through his email address… shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com

      please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay..

      What a powerful man such as DR SHAKES SPEAR.. he is so much powerful..\ email him for any difficulties.. shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com