• Wed, Mar 20 2013

The Next Steubenville? A Connecticut Rape Trial Involving Two High School Football Players And A Bunch Of Victim-Blaming

connecticut rapeThe story is eerily similar as we continue to debate the verdict and implications of Steubenville’s highly publicized rape trial: Two high school football players are accused of rape. Victim-blaming is spreading over social media towards the girls brave enough to come forward. And a school seems to be all to willing to look the other way when its star athletes break the law. It’s like the very worst deja vu.

Two Connecticut 18-year-olds, Edgar Gonzalez and Joan Toribio, have been charged with sexual assault involving more than one 13-year-old girl. These high school seniors both play football, and both seem to have a large group of friends ready and willing to taunt and bully at least one of the girls who “snitched” on the jocks.

Local media reports say that one of the young girls has been called a “whore” on Twitter. She’s been told that she “ruined lives.” Other students tweeted, “I wanna know why there’s no punishment for young hoes,” and, “Idk what more sad. These young ass hoes or the creeps fuckin these young ass hoes! Shouts out to Torrington CT.” Once again, we see students ridiculing and tormenting victims instead of rapists who should have known better.

In this latest case, alcohol and drunkenness won’t be the focus. It is the victims’ ages that made them unable to consent. The girls were only 13 years old, just in 8th grade. They were well below the legal age of consent.

One key difference in the Torrington case is that at least one of the boys had already had problems with the law that his school seemed to dismiss. Edgar Gonzalez, the football team’s top scorer this year, had already been arrested on felony robbery and assault charges in 2011 for beating up 14-year-olds to steal money. The school also had a serious case of hazing this year, though no one has suggested these two boys were involved. The school’s athletic director says, “If you think there’s some wild band of athletes that are wandering around then I think you’re mistaken. If you look at crime statistics these things happen everywhere and we’re not any different than any other community.”

The truth is, he might be right about one thing. What if Torrington and Steubenville aren’t any different than the rest of our communities? What if we are really failing to teach our kids about rape and respecting women’s bodies and ability to consent to sexual activity?

A lawyer for Gonzalez says that his client is not admitting to any sexual relationship with the victims. He says he’ll fight the charges. At least here, there won’t be able legal question as to whether the girls consented or not. If you have sex with a 13-year-old, you’re guilty of rape.

After the failure of most major media outlets to competently and ethically cover the Steubenville rape case, I’m almost terrified to see just what new bouts of victim-blaming and rape apology will come with this next case. One thing is for sure, if you weren’t already convinced of the need to talk to your teen about sexual assault after Steubenville, this serious problem is getting harder and harder to ignore.

(Photo: Alexander Raths/Shutterstock)

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  • whiteroses

    What the everloving freak. As someone said on the Steubenville story: Prison for everyone.

    It’s sad that a) I’m not overly surprised that this happened again and b) that these girls are being referred to as “young ass hoes”. I wish these morons would stay off of Twitter. I wish these guys would keep their penises to themselves. And I wish more than anything that adults could (or what’s scarier, would) protect these girls.

    • ali

      The words that are thrown around so casually at females is very disturbing. Now I don’t want to say there is anything wrong with the porn industry. It is mature content for adult viewers. However, these boys, all with access to the internet and probably with their own personal computer at home are all looking at porn online. Many websites are free, so parents never know. And what does it say on these videos? Every female is called a ho, a whore, or a slut. And most of the videos, its two people having sex. For arguements sake lets say they both want to. So why is the female left being the whore, and the man is just a man? I think young boys watching porn is very much negatively affecting their treatment of girls these days. Just wanted to add that because I was thinking of it the other day when talking to a male friend who watches these types of videos. He is an adult however, and understands that what you see in porn is not always how it plays out in real life.

    • Blooming_Babies

      I have to agree that the vast access to pornography for teen boys is damaging, though I do think it should be up to parents to regulate and counteract that effect. I’m a grown woman in a marriage and we enjoy porn, most grown men can separate porn as fantasy, but I am not convinced that teen boys can.

    • ali

      I completely agree, parents should regulate it as well as talk about it. I know some parents don’t want to talk to their kids about porn, but it becomes necessary when kids have such easy access to it. At least if kids do end up watching, they need to know its fantasy. Even if you put blocks on the home computer or their computer you know they will see it with a friend. We need to teach our kids to safely embrace their blossoming sexuality and know what is okay and what isn’t. They will find out sooner than you think.

    • whiteroses

      I honestly don’t think that they can. My opinion is that porn can be one of the most damaging things out there if it’s abused- worse than drugs, just because it’s legal and can be cheap. If you’re in a steady, loving relationship and you know what you’re looking for, that’s one thing. But if your view of women is being shaped and you abuse porn, that can lead to all sorts of stupidity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

    I hate to play the devil’s advocate in any circumstances surrounding sexual assault, but I see one HUGE difference in this case from the Steubenville case. Granted, I don’t know any more than what this story portrays about these boys. But the difference I see is alcohol. I, for one, was a pretty wild child during my college years. I can think of times when I got completely drunk to the point of being obliterated out of my mind and having sex with a boy and then the next morning thinking, “I would NEVER do that if I was sober!” And some of these instances probably teetered on the edge of being sexual assault in that I would have been too inebriated to really participate in an activity. I never pressed any charges on anyone and chocked it up to a drunken night, but I know things like this affect different people differently. Thank goodness nothing serious ever came of it, like a child or an STD. But what can I say? I was young and stupid. I have since grown up, thank the Good Lord above.

    However, one thing that I do know is that in this day and age, kids – especially girls – are in SUCH a hurry to grow up! Even playground scenes of “love and romance” are eerily reminiscent of something from a soap opera or a primetime TV show or something they see their older siblings or parents playing out. I’m not saying, by ANY MEANS WHATSOEVER, that what these boys did is right. But high school is a very isolated community. An 18 year old that is a senior in high school is very different from an 18 year old in college or an 18 year old in the “real world.” So for a senior in high school to be in a relationship with a 14 year old freshman is not a huge deal. And let’s face it, 13 and 14 year old girls are trying harder and harder to be 17 and 18 year old girls. All I’m saying is that these girls’ actions are more than likely far different than that of Jane Doe, who was unconscious and therefore unable to consent. If I had to guess, I would say these 13 year old girls were ready and willing to consent. They just aren’t old enough.

    Again, I’m NOT SAYING what these boys have done is okay. I’m just saying, I can’t classify these boys in the same group with the Steubenville boys. They may very well be the same type of monsters, but the evidence that I have so far does not make them seem to be to me.

    • whiteroses

      I’m sorry- I’m not reading you correctly. You’re saying that a 13 year old might have been willing to have sex with an 18 year old and the only issue is that she wasn’t old enough? Got it. So just because she wasn’t drunk then, hey, maybe she wanted it. Never mind that a senior in high school was screwing around with a junior high school student and, despite the obvious fact that a thirteen year old has barely entered puberty, she’s TOTALLY self-aware enough to know whether or not she wants to have sex.
      Look, I’m not trying to pick on you, but there is a world of difference in nearly every way between a thirteen year old and a 21 year old. You can’t really compare your college experiences with this. And when I was in elementary school, I seem to recall that I ran around the playground kissing boys. I had no idea what that meant, and nobody expected me to act like I did. A 13 and 14 year old can try to be older, but for the most part, they don’t have any real grasp as to what adulthood means. An 18 year old boy shouldn’t be the one to teach them.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      I completely understand where you’re coming from. And I do realize how harsh my comment sounded. But I have a 12 year old niece who lives with me during the summers. I’ve swiped her cell phone to read her text messages and hacked into her facebook to read her messages to make sure she is behaving herself. (She sometimes can be a li’l trouble maker, although I love her unconditionally.) And I have been completely appalled, to say the least, at some of the things this girl talks about with her friends. She got grounded from her computer and phone last summer when she was here for sending semi-pornographic pictures and stories back and forth with their friends. She cusses like a sailor in her messages, plans to sneak out of her mom’s house and meet her boyfriend so they can “spend the night together under the stars,” and yes, she even talks about sex and how badly she wants to have sex with her current boyfriend. And no, this is not a child who has been overly exposed to a sexual culture. What she watches on TV and does on her computer at home are closely monitored by her mom, as they are here. There is absolutely nothing about my niece’s life at home or here that is amiss and could cause hyper-sexuality (at least, not that we think). And all of the girls she talks to are just as much willing participants as she is. And yes, all of these girls have what we would consider normal and healthy home lives. All I’m saying is that girls are always trying to be “older” than what they are.

      Again, let me repeat, what these boys in CT did is WRONG. Wrong, wrong, WRONG. Yes, they are sexual predators. Yes, these girls are victims. I’m just saying that the situation and circumstances are far different than that in Ohio.

    • whiteroses

      Whether or not it was consensual is immaterial. And actually, this case and Ohio aren’t that different. One was taken advantage of because she was drunk, and the other because of her extreme youth. I stand by my original statements. An 18 year old has no business messing with a 13 year old. I don’t care how isolated the world of high school is, it’s not a “technicality”. Those boys deserve to be sent up the river for what they did. It isn’t the first time, based on what I’ve read, and if they’re not punished it won’t be the last.

      I too have a pre-adolescent niece. And the only thing she’s interested in is climbing trees and tormenting her younger sister. I would argue that making a blanket statement that all young girls are like my niece is a lot like making a blanket statement that all young girls are like yours. I’ve been a teacher my entire professional life, and kids will discuss things that they have no business discussing. They do it to test boundaries, and if nobody steps in and corrects that behavior, they continue doing it. Since your niece clearly doesn’t understand the consequences of her actions, I would suggest taking away her phone, computer and Facebook privileges until she does. If I were her mother I’d be extremely concerned. A 13 year old should not be having sex for a very good reason: 99% of 13 year olds, based on my experience, have absolutely no idea whatsoever about the very real consequences of having sex. They aren’t prepared to deal with STDs, unwanted pregnancy, or anything else of that nature.

      Honestly, you may not be trying to be an apologist, but saying that she’d probably would have consented if she was old enough sure sounds like you are. We don’t know that this is what she wanted. And even if it was— it still should never have happened.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      Just to clarify, when I did find my niece’s texts and emails, I took EVERYTHING away from her for the entire time she was here. And I talked to her mom and to my aunt, who is a social worker. Since she is just my niece, I allowed her mother (my ex sister-in-law) to deal with her “real” punishment. Just so you and everyone know that I am NOT, in ANY WAY, saying that this is just another teenage behavior that is no big deal. I had a talk with her about how those are things that she has no business even thinking about until she is an adult, but I left the real lecturing to her mother, as I really didn’t feel it was my place.

      And yes, I agree with you WHOLEHEARTEDLY on the point that 13 year olds are absolutely not capable of truly understanding all of what sex entails. My niece is a very physically mature 13 year old, as was I. If I tried to sit here and say that I never thought about sex at her age, I’d be lying. If I tried to sit here and say that I never talked about sex with my friends, I’d be lying. When I was that age, most of my friends had already started their periods and learned the art of masturbation. So why is it such a far stretch that girls this age would be having consensual sex? Especially given the type of “cool parenting” that seems to go on a lot. Granted, I don’t know what kind of parents these girls have, neither do I know anything about them other than what Ms. Lindsay Cross has written. And again, I reiterate, what these boys did was WRONG. But a 13 year old girl giving consent to have sex is certainly not unheard of nowadays.

    • whiteroses

      It’s not a stretch to imagine that a 13 year old thinks about sex. I did when I was that age. I also thought about growing wings and flying. That doesn’t mean it should have happened. I still stand by everything that I said previously. An 18 year old shouldn’t be taking up a 13 year old on an offer of sex. Hell, a 13 year old shouldn’t be taking a 13 year old up on an offer of sex.

      Really, this conversation is moot. We don’t know if she consented, but her age makes that immaterial. So let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that she did. Then these boys are morons for having sex with a junior high school student and thinking they’d get away with it.

      Let’s say she didn’t consent. Then these boys are morons for exactly the same reason. Either way, it was rape. The Jane Doe in Steubenville couldn’t consent because she was drunk. This Jane Doe couldn’t consent because she’s too damn young.

    • whiteroses

      Just to clarify, the above post was me. Disqus is being stupid.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      Well, I do completely agree with that much, anyway. I hope you don’t think I’m trying to just brush what the boys did under the rug like it was nothing. I’m not doing that at all. It is completely wrong no matter what age they or the girls are or if the girls consented. My point is just that this case is far different circumstances than Steubenville. So to say that Steubenville is happening again is an inaccurate statement.

    • whiteroses

      I don’t agree. You can be impaired by age just as much as alcohol- because your brain isn’t exactly where it needs to be to consent to sex in either circumstance. And the victim-blaming in this case is just as bad.

    • xxshelbyxx

      I’m not blaming the victim! If she WAS indeed raped, and I mean non consensual by SPEAKiNG, not the age LAW, then yes it was 100% wrong and those boys’ fault! But all I’m trying to explain is that at age 13 there are MANY girls who DO have sex and WANT it! I get what you’re saying about at her age not having the right mind set or ability to consent because of emotional maturity, BUT there IS a lot f girls who THiNK they are and therefore put themselves out there as available. You can say the same about 16 year olds too! When I was 16 I lost my virginity to my bf who I was with for 3 years after that and when we broke up because he started being controlling, it took me a year to build my confidence back up and my emotional well being. ALL because at age 16 I was NOT emotionally ready for the break up part, but I was more then ready to have sex with my first “love.” So add 3 years to this girls age and she still may not be ready in the head, like I wasn’t. BUT she is still the one wanting it and acting on it. Yes those boys are wrong for a girl so young but if a girl acts older and maybe even claims she’s older, unfortunatley there’s not many boys who’d turn it down..

    • xxshelbyxx

      You didn’t even have to explain what you did about your nieces situation because just from reading all your comments, one can see that you aren’t one to just sweep this behavior under the rug. I hope any parent or aunt for that matter, would do the same thing you did! I just hope for young girls AND boys sakes all over the world, that at least SOME of the commenters on here are grasping what we been repeatedly saying. That NO these boys aren’t in the right and meet will be in this situation, BUT like you said so clearly as simply “to think that 13 year old girls nowadays aren’t having consensual sex is naive.”

      Oh and I wanna touch on the “cool parenting” subject since you brought it up. There absolutely IS parents who ALLOW their prepubescent kids to have sex in their homes OR let the kids alone in their house somewhere. I’ve seen this first hand too. In 8 grade I had mostly guy friends that’d come over and hang out, but none of them tried with me because they knew I wasn’t into having sex yet. My parents did NOT allow us alone in my home anywhere anyways, despite knowing I wasn’t sexually active. My best friend however, wasn’t sexually active YET but when she had her 13 year old BFs over the house, her parents let them r alone wherever they wanted and my friend ended up having sex weeks after meeting the one kid. In her parents basement! BUT I also had girlfriends whose parents were stricter then mine and they STiLL had sex here age 15 because they WANtED it. So in some cases if parents were stricter, it wouldn’t happen quite so easily. But parents are rarely to blame for their girls actions IF that girl has convinced herself she’s ready. Like I said- at 16 I had sex and my body was ready I thought but as soon as we broke up I was an emotional wreck because he was my first love. My parents had the talk with me often as young-I knew mostly all there was to know about respect for my body and sex etc. but I still did it when I wanted despite my mothers warnings.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      I agree with what you say about the “cool parenting.” I see parents all the time that led their kids do whatever and it makes me so angry. Like the classic “If he’s gonna drink, I’d rather him do it at home.” I don’t understand how THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND that they’re sending a message to these children that drinking or having sex or whatever else is okay. I disagree completely. Now, if one of my step sons were to go out and get drunk, because I’m sure they will at some point or another, they better call me for a ride rather than drive drunk or ride with a drunk friend. If they were to try and have sex in my house? They’d be way too embarrassed to ever try it again!

    • xxshelbyxx

      Right. All girls aren’t like your niece OR all like Valerie’s niece. But-no offense to Valeria and I’m sure she won’t take it this way because she’s the one who explained her nieces tendencies- girls that are into boys and sneaking out like HER niece ARE the same type of girl who eventually have consensual sex because they WANT to or are curious. Valerie’s Neice probably dressed real cute, maybe a little too mature for her age wen she gets away with it, therefore coming across as older in age AND flirting with boys on top of that. Whereas your niece probably dressed as a tomboy still and since she has no interest in sex and boys yet, she doesn’t pursue them and they don’t want sex for her because she’s not offering.

      I was a tomboy at 13 and my BFF was sooo skimpy and flirty and could care less about anything other then meeting cute boys when we went out. She lost her virginjty at 14 because she dressed a certain way and wanted to act older. I doubt she regrets it and I’m not saying these girls are sluts- far from it actually. I’m saying some young girls want to act older and dress older and have sex!!! Sheesh!

    • whiteroses

      They do. That’s true- but once again—- an 18 year old boy should know better, because their parents should have been having this conversation with them for years.

    • xxshelbyxx

      You’re right. There’s too many boys whose parents don’t care enough to talk to them. Ever seen the movie She’s Too Young on Lifetime? Perfect scenario. The 13 year old has sex because her friends all do it and tell her to stop waiting so she willingly blows some senior and she gets clamydia and tells Her mom. Her ma goes to the older boys home to talk to their and the boys mom DOES NOT CARE. Says “he’s 17 he can do it if he’s safe. These girls want it too or they wouldn’t allow it.” She will NOt talk to her son

    • xxshelbyxx

      Your niece is a perfect example. Thank you! That’s what I was trying to explain in my two comments but it seems everyone thinks 13 year old girls are innocent and don’t know about sex. Bullshit!

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      Thank you! And to these girls who are saying that they would have thought a senior being interested in them was “creepy” when they were sophomores… I call bullshit on that, too. What sophomore wouldn’t be squeeing with joy if a senior asked them out?

    • whiteroses

      Well- me. When I was in high school, I was asked out by a senior. When I said no, he and his friends harrassed me. I had two options- keep my mouth shut for a guaranteed *in* with the cool kids, or tell. I told. And I paid for it with slut-shaming and harrassment for the rest of my high school career. They had a note in their permanent file. It was the best I could expect.

      I don’t regret it. Maybe it made them think twice the next time. Not all girls would make the same choice- but you can’t “call bullshit” on that when it’s happened before.

    • xxshelbyxx

      Right. I know. Like I’ve repeated 5 times, I was 18 4 years ago and my entire highschool career I saw many many 8 grade girls give all they had to older boys- very much willingly.

    • whiteroses

      Maybe. But they don’t deserve to have their innocence taken away if they are.

    • xxshelbyxx

      You’re right. If they’re innocent like your niece is, they MOST likely wouldn’t be put in similar situations because they could care less about what older boys want or think. So in all actuality, we all can’t say shit about whether this chick brought it on or not because we don’t know if she the 13 year old whose flirty, skimpy and trying to be IN, or if she’s the innocent girl whose never even let sex cross through her mind.valerie and I did NOT say these guys were OK in pursuing a 13 year old. We simply said there IS lots of girls NOWadays who scream “18″.

    • Tusconian

      High school isn’t THAT isolated. First and foremost, they obviously weren’t so isolated that they had no contact with people outside of their peer group. A 13 year old is in 7th or 8th grade, not high school. And I’ve grown to understand that maybe my experience isn’t typical, but it would have been seen as very, very strange, to the point of branding the person a creepy predator even if sex didn’t come into it, for a high school senior to date an 8th grader, or even a 9th grader, where I went to school. Even in high school, what life experiences do these two have in common? One if more emotionally and mentally mature, one has 4 more years of life experience, one had four more years of education and knowledge, and of course, at that age, 4 years is more than enough to create a very uneven power dynamic, especially when they older one is legally an adult. The idea that there are no “good” girls in the same age group as any given guy, so he HAS to date younger to find purity and kindness is just a myth concocted to excuse predatory guys, much like the “13 and 14 year old girls are trying to be 16 and 17 so they might have consented.”

      To the first part, I say well, DUH. 13 and 14 year olds try desperately to be 16 and 17. 17 year olds bend over backwards to seem 19, and 12 year olds would generally give their pinky finger to be 14. Ask a 3 year old to describe the coolest person ever, and that person is probably 4. A 10 year old will do anything an 11 year old says because 11 year olds are cool and grown up, and ask any 18 year old what the most important event in the next 15 years will be, and it will probably be “my 21st birthday.” That’s how kids are until they reach 21. So yes, I am very sure that these 13 year old girls were trying desperately to seem cool and sexy and mature and grown-up to the “adults” with cars and late curfews and older brothers who can get them beer. I’m sure they said things about these and other boys that would make their parents faint. But, that doesn’t negate the fact that they’re 13. I remember my friends and I being 12 and 13, almost a decade ago. Everything was blah blah sex, blah blah older boys, blah blah cars, blah blah “I can’t wait until I am 16 so my life can begin because that’s totally how it works!” And as much as we talked that talk, it was all nonsense. Secretly, the idea of doing more with a boy than holding hands was terrifying, and going further than lip kissing was inconceivable. Unsurprisingly, we also tended to have pretty flawed ideas of both how sex worked and what exactly older boys did with their girlfriends. Sex was an abstract concept that we talked about to be shocking and cool and mature, not anything we actually intended to participate in (in fact I remember at 15, a bunch of classmates recanting claims of wild sex acts they had made at age 13, saying they were lying to impress everyone else). I am so sick of people saying “well, nowadays* girls develop so fast and wear skimpy clothes and try to grow up, so they’re probably having consensual, adult sex with grown men” because it’s complete victim blaming. Even the 13 year old girls who talk like they have consensual, adult sex with grown men/older boys are generally in abusive situations where they’re overpowered physically and mentally. Which, indeed, is why a 13 year old cannot legally consent even if they say words that imply consent.

      *This whole nowadays bull crap. Playground romance, sexualized media, and hormonal adolescents being obsessed with sex and trying to put on a “mature” air is not new, it has been around longer than the most distant ancestor you can think of. It’s just an excuse to victim blame, or shift the blame to something, anything, aside from rapists and rape culture. “It’s not the fact that boys in certain social positions are taught that they are entitled to women’s bodies! It’s the fact that teenage girls magically in the last few years have stopped being overgrown toddlers and started wearing tight jeans and training bras! Or that five year olds sometimes develop crushes on each other!”

    • whiteroses

      Thank you. In my peer group, an 18 year old trying to scam on even 16 year olds would have been called a creeper. This case passes creeper level and goes straight into something else that I frankly don’t want to think about, because it makes me more than a little ill. Teenagers have been pushing their boundaries since before the year one. That doesn’t mean that a legal adult- because that’s what an 18 year old is- should take them up on it.

      There’s so much wrong with all of this. We’ve got a girl who is barely a teenager- multiple girls, it seems like- being raped by multiple boys who are barely adults (the only saving grace in this instance is that these guys will probably get lengthy prison sentences). And then we have people- because sadly, Valeri is far from alone- who say that, hey, maybe she wanted it.

      Personally, I’m confused as to why it seems like the teenagers have the keys to the kingdom. I’m confused about how a group of teenagers get to run their communities and don’t have any accountability whatsoever. These parents let their kids do whatever they want and then when something awful happens, they wring their hands and talk about how they don’t know why things are the way they are. You don’t get to have it both ways.

    • xxshelbyxx

      Omg everything you just said is ridiculous ! “In YOUR day in YOUR school”?? How old ARE you then? Because like I just said in my response to the same comment you’re responding to- I’m only 22 therefore graduated 6 years ago. And in MY time in MY school, seniors definitely dated freshman or 8th graders. In My school it was 8-12 graders, therefore the 13 year old 8th graders heard about parties that the seniors would have. And you said its absurd that older guys want younger girls because of “purity and kindess” because no one their age is good enough? That is NOT what Valeria meant or said! Older boys like young girls because they’re FRESH. Sorry for sounding vulgar but I frickin lived through highschool watching this on a daily basis and it made me sick that my young girlfriends gave up their bodies to older guys to be popular or more mature, but they did! And those guys wanted young fresh virgin or recent Virgin SEX. Not kindness or purity ! Nowadays you’re NOT considered a creep for going after someone 4 years younger when they look like they’re 18, boobs butt n all! It’s the 21st century so I suggest you get with the times because you’re in for a ride awakening if you have kids and still believe the crap you just said.

    • whiteroses

      I’m nearly 30. I’ve been a teacher my entire professional life, but I look younger than I actually am. I’ve been mistaken for a student on more than one occasion. So my students tell me quite a few things.

      I can assure you that, despite your youth, what you describe isn’t typical. I had a few senior students who dated freshman- and they were treated like pariahs by girls their own age once the relationships were over. Don’t project your experience onto every teen. It doesn’t serve you.

    • xxshelbyxx

      I agree. 110%. You said it a lot better than I would’ve been able to, less offensive than how my same opinion will come across. I SEE girls 12-14 WANTING, HAVING AND CONSENTING to sex ALL the time. I’m only 22 so highschool was only 6 years ago for me and in 11th grade I was 17 and threw parties where 13 year old girls came a few times and NONE of us older kids knew their age until the end of the night as they were leaving. Like they thought it’d be even cooler to make us realize we’d thought they were 16+ all night. Skimpy clothes, big boobs and ass, major make up and cleavage- you’d never guess a day under 16. And these girls WERE having sex with their 13 year old boyfriends (they’d talk about it, I’d never allow that crap at my home). Then next year those same girls were screwing my guy friends-seniors. The ONLY time one of those situations turned into rape was when one girls parents came home to the 17 year old boy in their 13 year old daughters bedroom. Those girls DO ask for it ANd do consent. You’re right. Complete difference between the two cases. “They’re minors so its automatically Rape.” … Yeah yeah we get that. It’s just not fair in 80% of cases because those girls DID ask for it! That same guy I mentioned whose GIRLfriends parents walked in on, has a sexual predator record for LIFE now. Because even though that girl said yes to that boy, she pleaded innocence when she knew her daddy would beat her add and ground her if she admitted being a non virgin.

    • whiteroses

      So… what, these guys were in the right?

  • chickadee

    I am not surprised that, once again, the accused is a football player. I don’t at all intend to characterize all football players as rapists or potential rapists, but the fact is that in many high schools, colleges, and universities, there are coaches and other authority figures who are willing to overlook offenses that either lead to or encourage an atmosphere of leniency for these guys simply because they are important to the football program.

    I went to high school and university in Texas, and the football coach at my high school was paid twice as much as the highest-earning education figure. Let’s not talk about how much the head coach at my university was paid…but the guys at my high school got away with inadequate grades (and still played), they committed misdemeanor crimes (and still played), and they were the most popular students overall.

    Unfortunately, the esteem in which our culture holds football players contributes to their status as authority figures, and some are genuinely surprised to realize that not all ladies want to get naked with them, and that sometimes their advances are unwelcome. And that girls who have crushes on them perhaps wants to date and fall in love and then maybe have sex, rather than have sex at the time and place of HIS choosing.

  • Blueathena623

    I think this case will be harder and easier than Steubenville. Easier in the sense that it is clearly statutory so there is no question for that. Harder in that the girls reputation might go even more through the wringer than Jane doe because she wasn’t clearly unconscious and thus unable to give consent (yes, I know technically underage, can’t give consent, but I hope you know what I mean). I fear they will play the “she’s a little Lolita, leading this poor guy on, he didn’t know how old she was.”

  • Justme

    This is so minor, but I hate that Twitter seems to give every ignorant ass hole a platform to be validated by others and to feel that their ignorance is important.