When I got pregnant with my daughter, I was not-so-seriously dating her father and managing a fitness center that had a tendency to bounce my paychecks. Pretty quickly, I realized that I needed to snap my life into shape to prepare for motherhood. And the best way to do that was to head home with my parents, who were amazingly kind and happy to help me get my financial footing and gather my life together.
From that moment on, my mom and dad have been intricately involved in my life as a mother. Five years later, I have my own home and a secure financial foothold. I don’t depend on my parents to babysit all the time or ask that they provide for my daughter in any way. But at the same time, my daughter and I see my mother absolutely every morning. We have dinner with my parents at least once a week. My dad is the one my daughter goes to when she has a science question.
I realize that plenty of people parent without the help of grandparents in the nearby vicinity. Plenty of adults move away from their hometowns when they grow up. I know that I could get through it if my parents move away. It’s just that I don’t want to.
My parents recently told me that they might have to move away from our hometown for my father’s job. It’s not final yet, but it’s a definite possibility in the upcoming months. And I would be completely lying if I said that my heart didn’t break just a bit.
I started thinking about all of the ways that my parents are involved with my daughter and me. I thought about the morning stops in my mother’s classroom each morning where my daughter and I get to start out our day with a dose of Mimi. I thought about all the lunch dates with my dad where I talk through all my problems and share my good news with him. I thought about the nights we spend sitting around their living room, telling stories and playing with my daughter.
It is beyond my comprehension at the moment to picture my daughter and my lives without their constant presence.
I’m not trying to act like my problem is some type of huge tragedy. People lose their parents. They have parents who refuse to be involved in their lives. They move away, move on. I know that so many people don’t have the opportunity I’ve had.
I try to keep that idea in my head as I picture our life post-move. I try to think about just having phone calls and Face Time, traveling for holidays and spring breaks. But at the same time, I worry about my daughter missing out on all that time with her grandparents. I worry about how I’ll deal with it when I don’t have my parents to run to after a bad day.
So many women say that motherhood makes them closer to their own parents. They have a new connection that they never had before. For me, parenthood has always involved an amazing support system right down the street any time I need it. And thinking about losing that terrifies me.
Right now, I’m still crossing my fingers that my parents will stay put, right down the street. But I suppose it’s time that I grow up a bit, and consider what life would be like if they had to leave. It might happen sooner than I ever could have imagined, and at the moment, I’m simply not prepared for it.
(Photo:Â Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock)
