• Thu, Mar 14 2013

In A Majorly Ignorant Diss To Stay-At-Home Dads, Real Housewives’ Yolanda Says No Man Could Juggle It All

Yolanda FosterThere’s a tad too much gender essentialism floating around parenting conversations in 2013 and you don’t even need to tune into sexist diaper ads to hear any of it. While some stay-at-home dads are trying to wake advertisers up to the fact that — yes — a man is capable of running a home without burning it down, others are still toting that tired Only A Mother Can Do It All logic. Like Yolanda Foster from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

In a video exclusive with Us Weekly, Yolanda Foster appears to answer the dreaded “how I do it all” inquiry. Everything seems fairly standard — and scripted — until all of a sudden she takes a stab at the dudes:

“My days are crazy, like most moms in the world. My days are full every day, but I think that’s what makes us women so powerful: A guy could never [balance] that! We’re just able to juggle it all [as moms],” Foster — who helms a blended family of her own kids and Foster’s five — tells Us.

Record scratch!

I believe my stay-at-home dads out there — as well as actively co-parenting dads who handle the scheduling, the doctor’s appointments, the groceries in addition to a job would beg to differ. As would I.

All these men aren’t capable, men aren’t trustworthy with the kids, men are bumbling idiots narratives aren’t empowering to women, mothers, or children because it’s just the flip side of the same ultra-sexist coin. As research is showing us, men are beyond capable of filling their schedules with all the demands of buzzy “work life balance” as more time has been expected of them in the home (which has tripled since 1965).

But to be fair, I guess some of us are still living in 1965.

(photo: Nikki Nelson / WENN.com)

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  • http://www.facebook.com/houde.veronique Véronique Houde

    This is the type of “we run the world” girls rock attitude that I can’t stand! We might say otherwise, but I find it still waaaay too present in the media these days. I guess that it comes as a revolt to men constantly crushing on women, but it’s just way too much for me. These women call themselves feminists, and their attitude gives feminism a bad name.

    Just yesterday, I was going about my day taking care of my 4 month old. The day before, I had managed to start a few loads of laundry and make baby food. Yesterday, I managed to fold said laundry, clean the kitchen and go for a walk with my baby. I looked at all the other work around the house that SHOULD be done, and I honestly can say that I have no idea how i would be able to do it all while not pushing myself to exhaustion or neglecting the time i spend playing and taking care of my baby.

    I’m therefore proud to say that I can’t do it all, and I don’t want to do it all ;). I’d rather put more energy into taking care of myself and my daughter. so what if the carpet isn’t as clean as i wish it was?

    • Makabit

      I assume this gal has some help around the house and with the kids, as well. My husband doesn’t, and yes, the place is a little messier than it would be if we didn’t have a baby at home, but, er, he he takes care of our daughter and our home. Even without ovaries.

    • Ordinaryperson

      Exactly! I was just going to post that I was pretty sure my husband couldn’t handle it all by himself either because I know for a fact that I can’t.

    • lea

      “These women call themselves feminists, and their attitude gives feminism a bad name”


  • Lawcat

    Wait, so we care what a Real Housewife has to say to a tabloid? Is this really worth writing about? She’s not exactly an influential person… Must be a slow news day.

  • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

    While both my husband and I work, he is definitely capable of helping with our 9-month-old. He was the first one to hold him and he changed his diapers before I did! He is the oldest of 3 boys and is 9 years older than one and 16 years older than the other. He had a lot of practice!

  • faifai

    psh, that girl’s FACE is still living in 1965! (buuuuuuuuuuurn!)

    • Justme

      Oh no, all those parts on her face? Definitely created in a laboratory circa 2010.

    • faifai

      and then poorly assembled via staple gun. I refuse to take housekeeping advice from someone who chose to look that way!

    • Justme

      She is a little old-fashioned in her view of relationships and housekeeping duties, but she will put those other Housewives in their place – “we’re already done talking about that, let’s move on.” Love it.

  • msenesac

    My husband definitely can’t manage things like I can. I can remember that the daycare needs us to bring more diapers, that I need to go to the grocery because we are almost out of milk, that laundry has to be done today- all while I’m working. My husband can’t- which is fine. He’s still an amazing contributor and a great husband and father. No way would I ever project my husband’s characteristics on men in general. Nor would I assume that all women can manage like I do. In fact, I know someone who loses her purse and locks her keys in her running car MONTHLY. Each person is different. Making blanket statements is always a big mistake.

  • elmusic1

    It doesn’t surpise me in the least. I still know guys that act as if it was wrong to be a father home with the kids. Currently I am not but when I was, I was capable of taking care of my kids without burning down the house. Yes, it isn’t easy and you have to learn to switch gears, but you do. There are some women that aren’t good at it and some that aren’t (just like men). It’s hard for the world to exscape stereo types, racism, etc… But believe it or not, stay home dads can take care of the kids along with the PTA scheduling, doctor appointments and all.

  • LiteBrite

    I think some women confuse “can’t juggle” with “doesn’t juggle the way I do.” My husband doesn’t multi-task the same way I do nor does he do it at the same pace. It’s irritating (he should do it MY way dammit…ha ha), but it’s not the same as he “can’t.”

  • Tea

    I find it funny how many people say their husbands “Can’t juggle” their lives just because they aren’t acclimated to it yet. They won’t know your day in, day out schedules, little tricks, things you learned ages ago, and chances are you won’t know theirs either. You’d probably be no more set to handle a day in their shoes (all of it, like how to run the computer systems at work, where ____ is, how to get the fastest response out of ____.)

    A little schedule shock would mess anyone up and could definitely lead to a lot of bumbling, but I’m pretty sure I’d be just as inept if dumped into selling tires and herding mechanics at spouse-guy’s job. I wouldn’t know which vending machine would eat my money, or which lanes to be in to avoid traffic, it would take a while to adapt. And I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t know how to run my database, when the cats need feed, how to give the parrot treats and keep your fingers, or even how to properly wash his work clothes vs. My dress shirts. It’s not his job.

    It’s kind of part of why I hate the old sitcom/movie plot of “Dad gets dumped into mom’s world and gains a whole new respect for her.” This is good to a point, but I think she’d gain some respect as well if dumped headfirst into his workplace. I know I respect what my partner can do at work, because if I was literally screamed at my customers and cursed at by giant burly men with power tools, I’d probably just cry (Tea is sensitive.). I’m pretty sure both sides would take a while to learn the ropes, and probably do pretty well in the end. And while some people aren’t suited to parenting tasks, I don’t see it as sex-linked.

    Also, my deepest respect to any SAHP (Stay at home parent) who can work and juggle household stuff.

  • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

    Thank you!

  • em

    My dad stayed home with three kids. We are all doing fine as adults. My brother even once said to my mom, “if daddy died, what would we eat?” We had clean clothes, homemade bread, trips to the library, music lessons…you name it. Love you, my awesome dad!

  • Scoop007

    Pfff, without me my husband would be lost, seriously, he’d probably wander into another state and never be able to figure out how to get home. He could take care of our daughter by himself but it’d involve a lot of fast food, Sesame Street, and sitting around naked because there are no clean clothes. However, he has a great many skills I don’t-he has endless patience, can fix anything, has the memory of an elephant, and isn’t grossed out by anything. I keep him on track and he keeps me from going off the deep end, I’m not sure either of us could “do it all” without the other.