• Thu, Mar 14 - 11:13 am ET

My Mommy Blogging Is Not The Same As The Celebrity Child Exploitation Business

mommy bloggingAt least once a week, I get the opportunity to write a snarky blog post about a celebrity mom who uses her birth announcement to promote her new shoe line or a former boy band dad plastering his child’s face on a collection of lullabies he’s shilling. Sometimes, I refer to these bits of celeb parent branding as a form of exploitation, because moms and dads are using their children to further their career and market their business. Invariably, someone in the comments well say, “You write mommy blogs. You do the same thing.” And here’s how I would like to respond to those comments.

First of all, touché! It’s a valid point. And it’s an issue that I’ve wrestled with as a writer for quite some time now. I constantly worry about how much information I should share about my daughter. I get a voice in the back of my head yelling, “Hypocrite!” at me whenever I use a cute anecdote about my child to make a post more interesting or enjoyable. I realize that moms who write about parenthood have a large incentive to share as much private information about their families as possible so that readers become invested in their stories and opinions.

All of that being said, I still think that there is a degree of separation between working in a media outlet that covers parenting, and sometimes volunteering personal stories to demonstrate a point or share an idea, and building a brand with which to promote products and advance your career around your entity as a parent.

Here’s how I square the whole thing in my head.

First of all, my daughter still has a degree of anonymity. The name that appears at the top of my posts is not my legal name. (I’m so sorry to break it to you all.) And while I have talked about my small Midwestern city before, this place still has more than 200,000 people. It’s not as simple as walking down Main Street and inquiring about the writer lady with a daughter in pre-k. Aside from a brief segment on Good Morning America a year ago, I don’t use her picture to illustrate my posts. The only people who would read my stories and actually know the child they apply to are people who I have specifically informed of my writing: family and friends.

There is always the argument about what happens when a story you put out on the internet gets picked up by larger media outlets and thrusts you into the spotlight. This is a chance that bloggers take. It’s one that I took after writing about my daughter and make-up. I saw what happened when that story made it to a morning show and swirled around the internet for a while. And honestly, as my daughter gets older, I plan on sharing less and less of her adorableness with the world.

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  • http://twitter.com/FirstTimeMom40 First Time Mom At 40

    As a blogger and expectant mom, this post has given me a lot to think about. I agree with you that mommy blogging in general is not akin to child exploitation nor a cheap cry for attention. However, I was unaware that this line could be crossed through blogging. I will keep myself on my toes to refrain from such behavior. Thanks for the heads up!

  • Cee

    I don’t think all mommy bloggers exploit their children. I mean, I am childfree. I think that, like Koa, I could make a contribution to mom blogs (as I usually do through comments) because I work with children every day, being in a large family, I have children around me all the time, and as a childfree person I can introduce a different perspective. However, when I think about the aspects I notice about children/childhood that I want to talk about, I am merely using the child/my encounter with the child as a starting point to the bigger topic that I’m sure people have an opinion about because they have lived it as a parent or observed it. Yes, being a mother gives you an advantage in a mommy blog because you have some personal experiences that incite more emotion and give you more credit as a mother. And, like I said, I have seen other bloggers in other sites just really…get very personal about their children, like too much information, particularly very embarrassing stuff, too many pictures. That’s where it makes me a bit uncomfortable for the child and where the mommy blogger is just doing this to get attention.

    • http://www.facebook.com/valerisexton.jones Valeri Jones

      Kate Gosselin also comes to mind when you mention TMI. Although I do love her and admire her organizational and parenting skills, I don’t think she thinks about how her reality shows and publicity is going to affect her children when they become adults. A recent article publish by The Stir about Cara & Maddie’s upcoming teenage years, hormones, and periods is my case in point.

  • http://www.makingloveinthemicrowave.com/ Aja Jackson

    I don’t think Mommy blogging is always exploitation, but I do think there is a fine line and it can be very easy to cross and sometimes not hard to know where the line even exists. The balance is hard, because unlike a news site or even a business blogger, what sets mom blogs apart is that readers feel like they are connecting with you on a personal level, so its hard sometimes to know how much of the personal to take out of it. Also, I think that this site can stay away from it more than some others simply because there are multiple contributors, personal stories are usually placed in a broader context etc.However, there are a lot of mom bloggers that started with smaller, more personal blogs whose blogs have grown and those bloggers have become like small-town celebrities themselves–with readers who are actually interested in their lives and not just their topics. There are also blogs where what they’re selling is based solely on their kids, and the moms put up pics and stories about their kids pursuits all day long. I am rambling but I think at the end of the day its more of a continuum than an “I am completely different” than them type of thing. To me its more of a slope, and it can be a slippery one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/houde.veronique Véronique Houde

    When my sister and i started our own blog, we had to think about this issue as well! We made a promise that we wouldn’t use our real names on our blog (as opposed to here where I use my full name), we don’t name our kids, and the stories we write are about our experiences when interacting with our kids. We promised ourselves that, when our children are older, they would read our stories and not feel exploited. I hope that we’ll be able to keep that balance!

  • not my real name

    Interesting to read thoughts about privacy. I blog about my child and our struggle with a medical condition. No one reads it but family and friends (the intended audience) but it’s online to share with anyone going through this too. We hadn’t really thought about anything beyond infancy when we created the site, so names and photos are already online. I look up blogs of similar families to read survivor stories; I don’t think of sharing ours as exploitation. I have wondered though how to deal with the blog as my child gets older, and haven’t figured that out yet.

  • Guest

    I would rethink the city of 20,000 thing. You’ve mentioned where you live and that your daughter attends a RE school in that town. There’s only one RE teaching school. The school website lists pre-k times and whatnot. Not that I think someone would do harm with that information, but that you go from a pool of 20,000 people to like 30-40.

    • LindsayCross

      If someone wanted to do internet sleuthing to find me or my family, they probably could. Just like they could for any other writer on the internet really, whether they tackle parenting or celeb culture or fitness. My point is not that I’m some ghost. My point is that my life is not so public or easily connected to our family that she’ll meet people who will automatically know, “Hey, you’re the person from that Mommyish article.”

    • LindsayCross

      If someone wanted to do internet sleuthing to find me or my family, they probably could. Just like they could for any other writer on the internet really, whether they tackle parenting or celeb culture or fitness. My point is not that I’m some ghost. My point is that my life is not so public or easily connected to our family that she’ll meet people who will automatically know, “Hey, you’re the person from that Mommyish article.”

  • Andrea

    A writer publishing articles on a mommy blog that occasionally posts anecdotes about her own daughter is a million miles away from the likes of Kate plus 8 and Beyonce. You are nor profiting from your daughter per se, you are just writing about being a parent and parenting in general.

    Whoever compares you to people that pimp their children out on national television doesn’t really have a valid argument.

  • Tinyfaeri

    It’s worth pointing out that unless you go to Adelle extremes of not even submitting your child’s birth certificate to keep their name a secret, the press will root out all the details they possibly can about celebrities babies, their “post-baby bodies” and everything they ate for lunch yesterday. If I were a celebrity, and I knew that a telephoto lens was going to be on me and mine 24/7, I’d want to get in front of that as much as possible and present my child in a way over which I had some control. And I’d want compensation for the amount of intrusiveness I had to deal with on a daily basis, so yes, I would charge the magazone I gave the pictures. What gets me about people bitching about celebrities using their families is that we as a country (and several others) use and abuse the crap out of celebrities for our entertainment, and then we get all annoyed when they try to profit from it by selling products. It’s just a case of supply reacting to demand, and if the supply is going to be stolen anyway, why not profit from it? Jessica Simpson would never have needed a WW contract if the whole world hadn’t obsessed over her weight gain (as they have done her whole career) – do you really blame her for at least making some $ out of it (finally)? And what else are they supposed to do, hide their families away in a cave, never to see the light of day again? You know there’d be infrared shots of them with the bats.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/Chatonsworld Chaton Turner

    Interesting points. The truth is, all parenting blogs, exploit their kids a bit as do a lot of celebrity parents. the big difference is the compensation. however, there is a supply and demand thing going on. People seem hungry for stories about how to make organic baby food, make being a working mom work, and a variety of other things. We’re meeting the need. http://chatonsworld.blogspot.com/2013/03/sheryl-sandberg-on-60-minutes.html