• Wed, Mar 13 2013

My Son’s Circumcision Didn’t Exactly Take

botched circumcisionIn an “ONLY THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME!” situation, my son’s circumcision did not take.

I know, right? I can’t quite explain this, except to say the skin has reattached itself or something like that. I don’t want to think about it too much, because the dude does have to go in and have a surgical instrument somehow pull back the skin.

I’m no longer afraid of my son’s penis (well, I’m almost completely no longer afraid, I still have my moments of, “Wow. That’s weird!”). But I don’t really see what my mother-in-law was talking about when she first pointed out that something was wrong. I talked to both my mother, who had three boys circumcised, and my brothers, who have three sons between them, and no one has heard of a circumcision that didn’t take.

Apparently, after the bris the female mohel who did the procedure had told me that I had to pull back the skin for a few weeks after. Did I hear this? I think I remember her saying something, but then again, I had just had a C-section and had a houseful of people — after just getting out of the hospital — after my baby decided to come early. So I wasn’t exactly paying attention to anything or anyone around me because I was a zombie. (I was even in the other room when the circumcision took place, as most Jewish mothers are, because I cannot handle the thought, or sight, of seeing my newborn’s penis being cut and hearing him cry.)

So, yes, because I am Jewish and am with a Jewish man, there was no question that our son was going to have a circumcision. So while I was trying to book my son to get his 9-month-old penis “fixed,” a good girlfriend of mine called. Recently divorced, she’s been dating like there’s no tomorrow. She, too, is Jewish and held off having sex with this one particular man she has been dating because he was not circumcised. She had only been with men who were. Finally, she did it.

“I swear,” she told me. “I think he IS circumcised.” Even though this man professed he wasn’t (and who would lie about that?) my friend thought his penis was circumcised enough and she actually enjoyed it.

It makes me kind of laugh (or want to shut my brain off) to think that one day an adult woman will be talking about my son’s penis. Like I said, I looked at his penis and it looks circumcised to me. I asked my fiancé, “Well, isn’t 80 percent circumcised enough?” because the thought of him having to get it done again makes me almost want to throw up. My nanny chirped in that in the Philippines they do circumcisions but when the child is nine or ten. Which was not exactly helpful to me, although better at nine months than nine years.

I know a lot of women who will only have sex with men who are circumcised. Yes, we actually ASK men if they are (I used to when I was dating.) I really don’t want my son, when he’s older, to be made fun of by other women because of a botched up circumcision.

And, I hate to admit this, but I think the botched up circumcision may be my fault.

When the mohel came to my house the day of the bris, she was pretty damn scary. She practically yelled at me the minute she got in the door that she NEEDED A BIG COFFEE. I pulled my mother into the kitchen and whispered, “I don’t have any coffee with CAFFEINE in it.” (I’m a caffeine-free house.) So, I did what I think many waiters do, but the opposite, which was make her a huge cup of coffee that was decaffeinated fobbing it off as caffeinated.

I don’t think she knew the difference, but now I find myself thinking, “Hmmm, maybe if I had given her caffeine, this would have all turned out differently.”

(photo: Nguyen Thai / Shutterstock)

You can reach this post's author, Rebecca Eckler, on twitter.
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  • CWBillard

    I’m sorry, but why do some women act so immature about their son’s penis? The poor kid has to have a procedure because you couldn’t care for his penis post-circumcision. Don’t try to pin the blame on the mohel, because I very distinctly remember being told that the skin has to be pulled back and cleaned to prevent the skin adhering to his penis after his circumcision. I don’t know, but this just doesn’t seem like something to joke about. Poor kid.

    • MRASoldier

      better question is why do women even have a right to perform a circumcision on their son’s penis. In Egypt female circumcision is a norm, yet female circumcision is not allowed in the US. If I had no right not to be circumcised even though it’s my body, then women should have no rights either interms of abortion,contraception etc

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      My mother had me circumcised so lets take all women and take every single one of their rights away! Lets also opt for female circumcision which involves removing most or all of the female genitalia! Also it’s not just women, fathers often opt for their sons to be circumcised as well, quite gender blaming because you have mommy issues.

    • momof2wholeboys

      If it’s illegal to circumcise your daughter, it should be illegal to circumcise your sons. There are different “styles” of female circumcision and all of them are illegal. You can’t even poke a hole in the clitoral hood. Why should you be able to cut off a very important and functioning part of your son’s penis? Mother nature doesn’t make mistakes.

    • K.

      Female and male circumcision are not equivalent. That does’t preclude one from disagreeing with male circumcision, but it’s wrong to suggest that the two are comparable. There are literally no known benefits for FCM (female circumcision), only tremendous harm, where as there are some debatable benefits for male circumcision and the risk of complications is very low so as to render the procedure safe.

      Female circumcision generally entails serious health complications for the woman–and that’s even if it’s performed in a hospital setting. These include anything from chronic UTIs to complications during pregnancy and childbirth (including death of the fetus and/or baby) or complete infertility, incontinence, fistula, and death. That’s death from the procedure itself, included. These issues are severe, impactful, and dangerous–life-threatening.

      Death or complications due to male circumcision is not unheard of, but it’s rare (and usually has to do with post-surgery care, as Rebecca so dingheadedly reminds us), and most of the time, the health complications, if they arise, are minor. Benefits of circumcision are debatable, but as of 2012, the American Academy of Pediatrics has argued that circumcision helps prevent the spread of HIV and instances of UTIs, yeast infections, and penis cancer. To be sure, these benefits are debatable and don’t necessarily justify the operation; I’m pointing out the fact that a reputable group of educated medical professionals supports access to safe male circumcision (versus an equally reputable group of medical and world aid professionals who condemn ANY form of elective female circumcision–in a hospital or wilderness) in order to center the point that male circumcision is a very different issue than female circumcision.

      You might object to the idea of male circumcision as being inhumane and/or unnecessary and that’s a perfectly valid view that should be expressed. But please discuss that itself. The medical, physical, and psychological affects of female circumcision are by far and away so much more horrific and extensive as to be in a separate class from male circumcision.

      It is a callous dismissal of the human rights violations that FCM perpetuates to invoke its horrors in the name of protesting male circumcision.

    • momof2wholeboys

      There is estimates that over 100 newborn boys die every year from circumcision. Just recently, a baby died because he was circumcised and had hemophilia. If he would have not been circumcised, he would still be alive. No health organization in the world recommends circumcision. It is just as horrific for boys as it is for girls. It removes healthy functioning tissue for cosmetic reasons. Soap, water and condoms are the only way to prevent infections and HIV. Penis cancer is so rare that it shouldn’t even be mentioned and cutting off foreskin isn’t going to prevent it. Should we cut off breasts to prevent breast cancer? Of course not, that sounds stupid. So why is it ok to do that to little boys? If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. 80% of the world is intact and they don’t have a problem with it, why do American men?

    • K.

      I wasn’t arguing against the perspective that male circumcision is wrong; I was saying that your comparison was inappropriate in making that point. Suggesting an equivalency between female and male circumcision is a bit like saying that discrimination in the workplace is like the Holocaust–yes, both fall under the heading ‘discriminatory practices’ but they’re quite different in degree.

    • LA

      You are uninformed. The world’s foremost activist against FGM compares FGM and male circumcision and opposes them both on the same grounds. Oh yeah, and she was infibulated in Somalia as a young girl. Look her up and educate yourself. Soraya Mire.

    • whiteroses

      But the thing about hemophilia is that if you get a paper cut (this is without proper medication, mind you), you could bleed out. Also- where are you getting your statistic that 80 percent of the world is intact? Look, Eckler annoys the snot out of me, but the fact that you’re so interested in her son’s penis is…. creepy.

    • Makabit

      Anything on circumcision brings all these folks out of the woodwork.

    • momof2wholeboys

      http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/majority.htm
      It’s completely true. The United States is the only country in the world that routinely circumcises their boys. The circ rate in the rest of the world is like 3-5%. What is wrong with our country that we feel the need to do this to our boys when the rest of the world does just fine?

    • whiteroses

      Show me a medical website, written by an actual verified doctor, with information in it that’s less than five years old and one that isn’t run by an anti-circumcision group. Then maybe I’ll buy your statistics.

      I dunno. I think showing interest in anyone else’s child’s penis is creepy and wierd. That’s just me. I figure unless you either a) gave birth to my child, b) assisted in his genetic makeup or c) will be raising him, the state of my infant’s sexual organs is not your business. The choice that my husband and I made for our son was the right one for our family. The end.

    • momof2wholeboys

      Unless you left him intact, it was not the right choice for anybody. What gives you the right to forceably remove healthy, functioning tissue from your son? It’s funny how women don’t want men to have control over their bodies, but women can have control over what their son’s junk looks like. I hope you’re not pro-choice, because you surely didn’t give your son any choice.

    • whiteroses

      Four things.

      1) I never said if my child was circumcised, You assumed that he wasn’t because it fits in better with your soapboxing. My political ideologies- pro choice or not- are not the issue here. The issue is that you seem to genuinely believe that how you feel about my son’s penis (because let’s actually call it by its proper name, shall we?) matters in the slightest.

      2) It’s funny that you think that the choice to circumcise my son or not was solely mine. I was married when I had my son. Still am. The decision that my husband (my son’s father) and I made was made after extensive discussions with health professionals. That’s why it was the right one for our family. We didn’t make the choice we did to satisfy anyone else.

      3) I repeat. Not. Your. Business. Therefore, you can rant and rave all you’d like in the following comments but I will not be responding. I would no more tell you about the state of my son’s penis then I would tell you about the state of my husband’s.

      4) You still haven’t given me actual medical information backing up your statistics.

  • chickadee

    Okay, so this could only happen to you, but it turns out that it’s actually your fault? Do you realize that you basically said that you were so concerned with feeling sorry for yourself because you were sore and tired that you didn’t bother to pay attention to wjat you needed to do to take care of your infant’s surgical aftercare?

    This isn’t a funny story, you know. You were negligent and caused a situation that will mean further surgery.

    • Rachel

      Yeah, I was going to say… when my son was circumcised, we were specifically advised on how to care for it (after the initial healing process, you’re supposed to apply Vaseline on a daily basis and basically just monitor it), and we followed the instructions accordingly. Since I had a rough recovery for some reason, my husband just made that part of the nighttime ritual.

      I don’t think people should opt in for surgical procedure for their children if they are unable/unwilling to be responsible afterward.

  • Eileen

    Is it going to get infected or not heal properly if you don’t get a second surgery? Because if not, I say just leave it. They did cut him, and it looks okay to you, and those were the points, right? Also, yes, it is your fault, but that’s water under the bridge now. Just concern yourself with what’s the kindest thing to do for him now.

    PS As a woman who has never practiced circumcision-status discrimination, I can safely say that your friend’s paramour probably wasn’t circumcised. There really is very little difference between the two when the penis is erect, except that uncircumcised men generally don’t need lube for handjobs/masturbating. And if he’s got a condom on you absolutely cannot tell. The main appearance difference is when it’s flaccid.

    • Makabit

      Yeah, I’d say leave it if there’s no medical reason to. He’s had a bris. He doesn’t need another one. As long as his penis is in good working order, I’d say time to move on.

    • MRASoldier

      it’s supposed to be the 21st century and a so called civilized society. This country for someone reason had the guts to ban infant female circumcision but yet it won’t ban infant male circumcision..

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      That’s because female circumcision consist of cutting off the entire clitoris and in some cases, even removing the inner and outer labia, and leaving nothing but the vaginal opening, some even sew the vaginal opening closed. Female circumcision is only used because they believe it gets rid of sexual desire, and also to prevent them from experiencing pleasure through sex or masturbation, and to prevent them from achieving orgasm. Male circumcision is simply removing a thin piece of unneeded skin, which has health benefits.

    • momof2wholeboys

      So very false. There are zero health benefits to circumcision. It is not an unneeded piece of skin. Please do some research. The Whole Network and sexasnatureintendedit.com is a good place to start.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      There are benefits, you can read about them here http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/circumcision

    • momof2wholeboys

      I wouldn’t trust webmd. There are ZERO benefits to circumcision. They are all myths and lies. 80% of the world is intact and doesn’t have near the amount of STD’s that we do. They are fine. The United States has the highest circ rate and the highest rate of HIV and HPV in the world. Explain that one to me. You treat infections with antibiotics…you don’t just cut parts off. I guess my sister should have had her ears cut off for recurrent ear infections according to your logic. Phimosis is caused by forced retraction and can be resolved with steroid creams and stretching and NOT forcefully retracting. The owner of the penis should be the only one to retract himself. Soap, water and condoms is all you need. You are sadly misinformed.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      good job being original and using a statement already made in the article as your own. Funny how you say “I wouldn’t trust webmd” yet you still used it. The fact is, is that particular article was contradictory, it did in fact say that there were health benefits even if they were minor, only to retract the statement. Point is, is you can look online and try and play doctor all you want, I’ve talked to plenty of doctors about this topic that would say you’re wrong. And just because something doesn’t agree with you doesnt mean it is all “myth and lies”. The united states doesn’t have the highest rate of HIV in the world, south africa does with over 5,600,000 infected, america has a little over one million, with india, china, nigeria and a few others ranking between 2-4 million.

    • momof2wholeboys

      The USA and Africa has the highest HIV/HPV rate in the world. That is a fact. The article on WebMD that I posted was pediatricians saying that it is an unneeded procedure and they are right. At any rate, every boy deserves the right to their WHOLE body. You don’t have the right to remove a healthy functioning part to “prevent” infections. We don’t remove ear, tonsils, appendixes, toenails just because they “might” become infected. We treat them with antibiotics and we move on. Why is it illegal and enforced for girls, but not enforced for boys? It is already illegal under the 14th amendment.

      thewholenetwork.org and sexasnatureintendedit.com are great places to learn the truth.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      Usa is no where near the highest, that is false, there are about 5 or 6 other countries with higher rates than america. What I’m saying though is, they said that it had benefits and in the same article turned around and said it didnt. that doesnt make sense. There are in fact proven benefits, but i never said that it shouldn’t wait until they are old enough to make the decision themselves, after all circumcision can be done at any age. personally I think newborns are too fragile and prone to infection, plus the added hassle of caring for it on top of everything else. I realize my comments may seem like I’m all 100 percent for having it done to newborns, but really, I believe it can be a good idea and beneficial for those that decide to do it later on, but I’m actually unsure and conflicted about whether doing it to a newborn is a good idea. After all it is much safer and a better idea to have a teenager or adult take care of their own area, post circumcision than someone else doing it. The mom in the article basically proves that point.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      I actually did alot of research before my child was born and before I knew the gender. Many people including men, suggested if I had a boy, i get him circumcised, so I spent the next couple months reading extensively into it and even went around and asked multiple doctors and pediatricians about the risks and benefits.

    • momof2wholeboys

      and they all lied to you. There are no benefits. ZERO. You gave your son the male equivalent of a boob job. It is a cosmetic surgery. How do you explain that 80% of the world’s men are intact and they have no issues with it, but the men of the USA do? Doctors are fed you bull and you ate it up.

  • http://www.facebook.com/paul.white.3532507 Paul White

    Not being snipped never stopped me from having sex.
    Also, this is one cultural/religious tradition I can’t really respect. Yep, we’re gonna whack off part of your body…yuh, nope.

    • http://twitter.com/babaloomaloo babaloo maloo

      I have to say it never made a difference to me. I don’t get why it’s an issue for some women. Its like a guy not going near a girl who has irregular labia.

    • allisonjayne

      absolutely.

      Also, lots of jewish folks are avoiding it, and having a jewish naming ceremony instead. just sayin’.

    • StephKay

      I don’t know why you got down voted, you’re totally right. We’re Jewish, and when the little guy is born he might have a brit shalom (naming ceremony) but definitely not a bris. I know plenty of Jewish moms who have opted out. Yes it is tradition and supposedly the means by which a son enters into the covenant of Abraham, but it really isn’t mandatory. It’s not like they strip kids down when they start Hebrew school to check just how Jewish they look. It really is a personal choice.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Now I gotta ask… what are regulatr labia? ;-)

    • Gangle

      I was wondering the exact same thing!! Are there some mysterious IRREGULAR labia that I haven’t been informed about? I mean, is there a labia doctor who goes around handing out regular labia certificates? And if I have an irregular labia do I get special benefits, like a cool parking space?

    • Tinyfaeri

      Vagina monsters. It’s all vagina monsters.

    • msenesac

      I completely agree. My husband and I proudly opted out of circumcising our son. Living in the midwest, we were asked repeatedly at the hospital if we were SURE we weren’t going to do it. It was infurating.

    • meteor_echo

      Also, more sensitivity in… places, when you’re uncircumcised. I’d say that’s a plus.

    • S

      i only ever had one, but he was some of the best damn,…uh. you know. so good for you

  • http://twitter.com/babaloomaloo babaloo maloo

    Ouch, poor baby.

  • shell

    This whole article is completely retarded and I feel sorry for your baby boy … you sound like you had more growing up to do before you had a baby .

    • Tinyfaeri

      You’re going to use the word “retarded” and then tell someone else they need to grow up?

  • Dusty

    Wow, you self-absorbed psycho, this is 100% your fault! Your poor, poor son will require another very painful procedure, and you write a lighthearted article about it? AND shift the blame? You’re a very bad person and in particular a shitty mother.

    • Ordinaryperson

      Jeeze. Yea, she kinda already said she thought it was her fault, although the kid does have two parents so there is plenty of blame to go around if you’re into that kind of thing. The problem only seems to be cosmetic as she’s presenting it, so maybe you’d like to tone it down a notch?

  • SusannahJoy

    Wow, there is some serious hate here… While yeah, you definitely should have paid more attention to what the after care required, it’s not like you were the only one responsible for that, especially if you were on pain killers at the time. Your husband shares the blame equally. Did you not get a paper or anything that went over after care? As for whether or not you should get another one- take him to the Dr. and ask. If they say that he might have problems because this one didn’t heal right, get it fixed, but if they say it’s fine, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

    • Daisy

      I was thinking that too. If the only care information given was a single mention to one person who had just undergone major surgery, then what were they thinking? I don’t think that is even legal. Any procedure I’ve ever had done, from wisdom teeth removal to braces to a freaking ear-piercing at the mall involved a lot more instructions, written and verbal, pre- and post-procedure, signing papers acknoweldging I understood, etc. And a circumcision seems like a way more major procedure than braces or a piercing, so I really truly cannot imagine that this is all Rebecca’s fault for “not paying attention” immediately after giving birth.
      If they went through that whole rigamarole with both her and her fiancee, and they still didn’t take care of it because they couldn’t be bothered or something, then yeah, we could spread some serious blame. But that doesn’t sound like the case at all.

    • chickadee

      A bris does not take place immediately following birth. The ceremony took place in her home after she was discharged.

    • Makabit

      Eight days after a c-section, eight days caring for a newborn…I think it might be incumbent on the mohel to make sure that all the adults caring for the child actually got the message about how to take care of the baby post-bris. I don’t remember quite what I was doing when my daughter was eight days old, but I was not exactly compos mentis.

    • chickadee

      Then I must be a medical miracle, because I was compos mentis well before 8 days, and I would have made sure before the mohel left that I knew how to take care of the site. And if I wasn’t sure, I’d ask a doctor or check a medical site. I doubt the mohel breezed off without giving instructions, since that’s a recipe for a lawsuit.

      ETA sorry that I sound bitchy. Eckler has a habit of writing about bad parenting techniques and acting like they are amusing. This one just ent too far….

    • Edify

      Did you have exactly the same birth? You can’t compare people’s physical, mental and emotional states post birth. Everyone has a different birth and everyone handles it differently.

    • chickadee

      I did, yes . Exactly the same.

    • Edify

      I too has a c-sect but I was definitely not compos mentis within 8 days. Our method of delivery may have been the same but it’s not possible that we shared the exact set of circumstances from beginning to end. Just because it was true to you, does not make it fact.

    • Not That Rebecca

      Agreed. Our mohel (also a traditional mohel, which a woman mohel could by definition not be) and pediatrician gave the shpiel to me and my husband, and left written instructions, and followed up by phone that night and the next day, and then a week later, to make sure everything was going well and to verify we were caring for it as directed. (Which consisted only of applying Vaseline, keeping it clean, and watching for bleeding, IIRC.) It’s not 100% on the post-surgical mother to keep it all straight, FFS.

      And, while there is no reason why Rebecca Eckler should listen to strangers in the internet, I’d verify that there’s some need for a re-bris. If it’s still kosher, and there’s no chance he’ll be told to get it done again later in life (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone) then there might be no harm in leaving well enough alone, and the adhesions will reverse on their own as he gets older. Modern brissim don’t remove as much skin as the old-school religious kind, or the current medical circumcision.

  • kelly

    You people are nasty!!!! I have twins which were circumcised, no one told us to pull back the skin..we pretty much patted it with a warm rag and put vaseline on it. Both are fine, all circumcisions not equal she did not cut eneough off, period! Frigging crazy that woman would care..they boy is cut id leave it be. Her tone is kinda flippant but I’m sure she is devasted..

    • heynow

      Yeah she sounds super devastated.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alicia.kiner Alicia Kiner

    Ok I had my son circumcised, mostly because I know someone who didn’t get one until he was a teenager, and I couldn’t see putting my son through this. That being said, I never had to “pull back” the skin. I cleaned him with a wet wash cloth, and a little baby soap, put some A& D ointment on it, and closed up the diaper. My son’s penis is just fine. My daughter, however, had an issue where her labia were actually sealing shut, and we had to pull THAT apart (you want to see something funny… tell your hubby that he has to spread his daughter’s labia if he changes her diaper). So while the tone of the article makes it sound like you may have a part in what happened, unexpected things happen every day. Sometimes, there’s just no reason why, stuff just happens.

  • Betty

    You are getting a lot of hate, and for that I am sorry. I do need to add my 2 cents in, though. You did your duty and sacrificed what you needed to. So it didn’t turn out perfectly. I have never met a woman that cares one way or another. I used to make fun of it because I didn’t know any better. My husband is not circumcised and it doesn’t matter one iota to me. There is a large shift in this country and more and more boys are not being circumcised, so I don’t think it will be an issue for your son. Do you really want him to go through that pain again? Ouch!

    • https://www.youtube.com/user/loveunderlaw Loveunderlaw

      Yet more proof that the followers of the Abrahamic “God” are insane & evil. Muslims, Christians, & Jews are the MOST violent of all people on the Earth, that’s no coincidence either. Their parasite “God” is garbage and loves to make us all suffer.

  • rabbitwithfangs

    “I know a lot of women who will only have sex with men who are
    circumcised. Yes, we actually ASK men if they are.” There’s an editorial mistake here – ‘women’ should be replaced with ‘insensitive, sexist bitches’. How would you feel about a man writing that his friends only have sex with women over a certain bust size, or with perfect ‘porno’ labia? Think he’s an ignorant pig? Yeah, me too.

    • Monica

      Wow, you are so far off base. The author is Jewish. A circumcision is an important part of her faith. She and her friends have every right to only date men who adhere to their religious customs, and they should be able too do so without ridiculous judgments like yours.

    • rabbitwithfangs

      If her religion causes her to miss out on meeting the right man, I feel sorry for her. That’s an observation, not a judgment.

    • LA

      My personal beliefs dictate I only date women who had their genitals surgically modified as infants.

    • LA

      Labia are f’ing disgusting. Slice them off.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/3IY44OA2MWHBV766SV4OGKJQ2A Miki

      Preferences are preferences and if you think that for one minute I[‘m going to believe men don’t have equally superficial, appearance-based preferences about who THEY will poke, gimme a break.

  • Nopesir

    Just a personal thing of mine but I’m not keen on on medical procedures that kinda have no legit purpose beyond aesthetic…..without the person’s its being done to consent. I seriously hope your kid is gunna be ok because now he’s going to need further surgery to fix it. Lovely. lets joke about that. so funny, surgery. surgery is funny.

  • Ms.V

    My son also had a semi-botched circumcision, that sounds similar in result to the one described. Before anyone starts hating on me, I will say that I did follow the care instructions. My son’s circumcision was performed before we left the hospital after his birth, and was done by the same doctor who left me with a wobbly c-section scar. We aren’t Jewish, so I just let it be. I have dealt with men who were and who weren’t and it never had any impact on my ability to have relations with them. I don’t think penises are particularly pretty either way, and both serve their intended purposes just fine. If I ever had another son, I wouldn’t circumcise after this experience.

  • Psych Student

    I imagine that what I have to say will be repeated by several other people, but I am not currently in the correct state of mind (my sleeping pills are kicking in, and my grammar and spelling is shot to hell, my most profound apologies) to sort through the Eckler blaming bullshit and I’m just going to make my points so I can feel better about myself. I’m so sorry sweetie that things turned into a mess.
    From a perspective of human sexuality, I can tell you that things like this happen. One of the problems that adolescents and adults experience is that they have pain during sex due to problems that can be fixed (like an incomplete circumcision), but because these people haven’t been told that sex shouldn’t hurt, they don’t know that they may have a fixable problem. Additionally, in the discussion about a circumcised penis vs. and uncircumcised one. First – TO EACH THEIR OWN! This is a decision that parents can make for themselves, do no ever criticize someone else’s decision. Statistics show that in Europe the rates of circumcision are much much lower than they are in the United States. The reason American women think that there is something strange about an uncircumcised penis (I panicked when I saw my first uncircumcised penis, I didn’t know what to do, turned out fine), is because we educate children (and adults) that sex is between a man and a woman who mash this bits together until he comes and that’s it. There is no discussion about what kinds of pleasure can be had by either party outside of penis in vagina penetration (which rarely results in an orgasm in women). Because we do not discuss with people anything about what various genitalia looks like or how it can be handled or pleasured then people panic over genitals that don’t like exactly as we thought they should. The same goes for men with micro penises. Studies show that the partner’s of these men have *highly* satisfying sex lives and many orgasms because the men find ways to work with what they have and find ways to get their partner’s needs met. Point being, circumcised or not, don’t panic, just accept that it might not look as expected but it can be worked it.
    The other thing I wanted to mention is that the rates of circumcision in the US is decreasing, so a non-circumcised penis will become less rare and frightening. Also, Rebecca, I don’t think you’re to blame for the situation. After medical procedures I’ve had done myself or to someone I was caring for, I was walked through paperwork to confirm I knew what I needed to know. If I was too out of it, the person who was with me was given the instructions and the explanations. The idea that someone would expect a new mother to be in the state of mind to just commit to memory detailed medical instructions. While there are no mind readers, it would have been nice for someone’s parent (grandparent of the new baby) could take charge and get the information (again, it’s not their fault, they could not have known, without someone saying so directly, that the role of medical information gather was needed).
    Ok, I’m not sure if I made any points at any time, and I apologize for the most dreadful spelling and grammar and word choice. But as we all know, sometimes things just need to be said before bed can be had. Now bed can be had. Thank you for allowing my to express my thoughts (I will, in future, keep them in a more appropriate venue).

  • TLCTugger

    Foreskin feels REALLY good. Seriously, it’s the best part.

    And here is the sad tale of another boy who will never know the full measure of joy nature refined us to delight in, and worse he’s mutilated a 2nd time to undo a parent’s woeful negligence.

    Please parents, why can’t you trust you children to grow to be rational adults who can make their own choices about their own bodies?

  • Annie

    Why the hell did you write this? Or not do so anonymously?

    Your son’s possible genital deformation is now public record. Years from now, friends are going to google his name and tease him *mercilessly* because his oversharing mother didn’t respect his privacy and personal space enough to keep that information off the internet.

    That speaks of a complete lack of common sense and foresight, and I am so tired of parents doing this shit to their kids. You aren’t posting a picture on facebook of your dog licking its balls, these are human beings with as much a right to dignity as anyone else.

    Don’t just assume because you wouldn’t think twice about writing about your genitals that he’d feel the same way, and if you *would* think twice about sharing with the whole world intimate details of your vagina with an embarrassing photo and tagline to go along with it, then why the hell would you do it to him?

    • rebecca eckler

      yeah, he’s nine months old. He doesn’t have any friends.

    • Annie

      That’s the thing, just because he isn’t aware of what you’re doing now, it doesn’t mean that he won’t be later. You’re failing to realize this and it’s really, really irritating me. When you put something on the internet, it’s there *forever*.

      Even if you delete this article, it will continue to exist, just not here.

    • Diana

      ” Years from now” She said. Ie: When he is no longer 9 months old and does have friends. He will be a teenager one day. The internet is forever.

    • Tinyfaeri

      That’s a very, very good point.

    • whiteroses

      This is why I will never post a picture of my son online unless he is fully clothed. That’s also why I have never posted anything about him that could be construed as oversharing. Because eventually, my son will be an adult. And it’s not for me to share private, personal details about his life- I wouldn’t want to answer to him about that later on.

    • Annie

      Exactly!!

  • MRASoldier

    how can women make the argument my body my choice when it comes to abortion yet they don’t allow males to decide if they want to be circumcised or not.
    it’s truly hard for me to care about a female circumcision in 3rd world countries since male circumcision is still allowed here

    • Ordinaryperson

      must….not….feed….troll….

    • Diana

      Stay strong Ordinaryperson! We can do it!

    • Gangle

      Dear, dear crazy troll person. I am so so VERY sorry that I have not given you your medication today. But you see, you keep escaping in search for internet access. I have tried my hardest to take care of you, keeping your cage clean and taking you to obediance classes on thursday nights. But I never guessed what I was committing myself to when I bought you from the breeder. I bought you because I thought you would be fashionable and fun, and I could fit you in my handbag. I was wrong and I’m sorry.

  • Lo

    dear god, when will you stop torturing that poor baby, what will it take? and for what? to remove the foreskin, which is a normal, healthy, functioning organ of the human genitalia that ALL humans are born with, male and female. i’m jewish and my 21 year old son is perfectly intact, the way nature–AND GOD– intended. it amazes me that jews allow their babies to be cut in order to honor some bullshit covenant with god, but yet, by cutting off a part of their sons’ genitals, they are basically telling the creater that it fucked up and they to need to fix it!. more and more jews are saying NO to genital cutting and are welcoming their precious newborns into the world with gentle ceremonies that don’t require the amputation of a body part! it is an outdated and abuse barbaric sexual ritual and i honestly don’t know how you listen to the blood curdling screams of your newborn as he is being tortured. tragic and unncessary.

  • http://www.facebook.com/roze.quartz Roze Quartz

    Coffee and penises??? Your poor child. His penis is HIS penis. Forget your parties. This is your son’s penis! How dare you let anyone cut into it and then say you served caffeine free coffee like this is a joke!
    I doubt your son and his future wife will think it’s just as funny in the future.

    • rebecca eckler

      religion, my friend. I am Jewish and believe in the Jewish culture and it is a celebration. Other Jewish people may not circumcize their sons, but it’s my choice as I am proud of MY religion.

    • http://www.facebook.com/roze.quartz Roze Quartz

      Cut a girl go to jail. Cut a boy throw a party.

  • Sky

    I left my son intact, like 80% of men around the world. His body his choice. Also Sexually leaving your son whole is better for him and his future partners. http://jewsagainstcircumcision.org/ and http://www.thewholenetwork.org/

  • http://www.facebook.com/NoCircStark Intactivist Stark

    I feel sorry for people who still believe the circumcision is better. Its HIS body. Most men in the world are not cut. They are fine. Stop treating children as property. Let them have the rights to their own bodies. savingsons.org

  • Scottish

    So happy we didn’t circumcise our son. Barbaric.

  • YoGa

    Why do people keep doing this to their children! I was circumcised as a child and I wish it was never done. Things like this depress me.

  • Alpha

    Circumcision rates are falling! No reason fro babies to be in pain needlessly! Drmomma.org

  • MarcusCorssse

    You know people really started cirucmcisng to make sex less pleasurable… the foreskin has over 20,000 nerve endings.

  • Caleigh Grace

    It’s acceptable for a woman to abort a baby, but not to circumcise him…only in America

  • Dave

    You’re a disgusting pig.