• Wed, Mar 13 2013

My Son’s Circumcision Didn’t Exactly Take

botched circumcisionIn an “ONLY THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME!” situation, my son’s circumcision did not take.

I know, right? I can’t quite explain this, except to say the skin has reattached itself or something like that. I don’t want to think about it too much, because the dude does have to go in and have a surgical instrument somehow pull back the skin.

I’m no longer afraid of my son’s penis (well, I’m almost completely no longer afraid, I still have my moments of, “Wow. That’s weird!”). But I don’t really see what my mother-in-law was talking about when she first pointed out that something was wrong. I talked to both my mother, who had three boys circumcised, and my brothers, who have three sons between them, and no one has heard of a circumcision that didn’t take.

Apparently, after the bris the female mohel who did the procedure had told me that I had to pull back the skin for a few weeks after. Did I hear this? I think I remember her saying something, but then again, I had just had a C-section and had a houseful of people — after just getting out of the hospital — after my baby decided to come early. So I wasn’t exactly paying attention to anything or anyone around me because I was a zombie. (I was even in the other room when the circumcision took place, as most Jewish mothers are, because I cannot handle the thought, or sight, of seeing my newborn’s penis being cut and hearing him cry.)

So, yes, because I am Jewish and am with a Jewish man, there was no question that our son was going to have a circumcision. So while I was trying to book my son to get his 9-month-old penis “fixed,” a good girlfriend of mine called. Recently divorced, she’s been dating like there’s no tomorrow. She, too, is Jewish and held off having sex with this one particular man she has been dating because he was not circumcised. She had only been with men who were. Finally, she did it.

“I swear,” she told me. “I think he IS circumcised.” Even though this man professed he wasn’t (and who would lie about that?) my friend thought his penis was circumcised enough and she actually enjoyed it.

It makes me kind of laugh (or want to shut my brain off) to think that one day an adult woman will be talking about my son’s penis. Like I said, I looked at his penis and it looks circumcised to me. I asked my fiancé, “Well, isn’t 80 percent circumcised enough?” because the thought of him having to get it done again makes me almost want to throw up. My nanny chirped in that in the Philippines they do circumcisions but when the child is nine or ten. Which was not exactly helpful to me, although better at nine months than nine years.

I know a lot of women who will only have sex with men who are circumcised. Yes, we actually ASK men if they are (I used to when I was dating.) I really don’t want my son, when he’s older, to be made fun of by other women because of a botched up circumcision.

And, I hate to admit this, but I think the botched up circumcision may be my fault.

When the mohel came to my house the day of the bris, she was pretty damn scary. She practically yelled at me the minute she got in the door that she NEEDED A BIG COFFEE. I pulled my mother into the kitchen and whispered, “I don’t have any coffee with CAFFEINE in it.” (I’m a caffeine-free house.) So, I did what I think many waiters do, but the opposite, which was make her a huge cup of coffee that was decaffeinated fobbing it off as caffeinated.

I don’t think she knew the difference, but now I find myself thinking, “Hmmm, maybe if I had given her caffeine, this would have all turned out differently.”

(photo: Nguyen Thai / Shutterstock)

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  • CWBillard

    I’m sorry, but why do some women act so immature about their son’s penis? The poor kid has to have a procedure because you couldn’t care for his penis post-circumcision. Don’t try to pin the blame on the mohel, because I very distinctly remember being told that the skin has to be pulled back and cleaned to prevent the skin adhering to his penis after his circumcision. I don’t know, but this just doesn’t seem like something to joke about. Poor kid.

    • MRASoldier

      better question is why do women even have a right to perform a circumcision on their son’s penis. In Egypt female circumcision is a norm, yet female circumcision is not allowed in the US. If I had no right not to be circumcised even though it’s my body, then women should have no rights either interms of abortion,contraception etc

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      My mother had me circumcised so lets take all women and take every single one of their rights away! Lets also opt for female circumcision which involves removing most or all of the female genitalia! Also it’s not just women, fathers often opt for their sons to be circumcised as well, quite gender blaming because you have mommy issues.

    • momof2wholeboys

      If it’s illegal to circumcise your daughter, it should be illegal to circumcise your sons. There are different “styles” of female circumcision and all of them are illegal. You can’t even poke a hole in the clitoral hood. Why should you be able to cut off a very important and functioning part of your son’s penis? Mother nature doesn’t make mistakes.

    • K.

      Female and male circumcision are not equivalent. That does’t preclude one from disagreeing with male circumcision, but it’s wrong to suggest that the two are comparable. There are literally no known benefits for FCM (female circumcision), only tremendous harm, where as there are some debatable benefits for male circumcision and the risk of complications is very low so as to render the procedure safe.

      Female circumcision generally entails serious health complications for the woman–and that’s even if it’s performed in a hospital setting. These include anything from chronic UTIs to complications during pregnancy and childbirth (including death of the fetus and/or baby) or complete infertility, incontinence, fistula, and death. That’s death from the procedure itself, included. These issues are severe, impactful, and dangerous–life-threatening.

      Death or complications due to male circumcision is not unheard of, but it’s rare (and usually has to do with post-surgery care, as Rebecca so dingheadedly reminds us), and most of the time, the health complications, if they arise, are minor. Benefits of circumcision are debatable, but as of 2012, the American Academy of Pediatrics has argued that circumcision helps prevent the spread of HIV and instances of UTIs, yeast infections, and penis cancer. To be sure, these benefits are debatable and don’t necessarily justify the operation; I’m pointing out the fact that a reputable group of educated medical professionals supports access to safe male circumcision (versus an equally reputable group of medical and world aid professionals who condemn ANY form of elective female circumcision–in a hospital or wilderness) in order to center the point that male circumcision is a very different issue than female circumcision.

      You might object to the idea of male circumcision as being inhumane and/or unnecessary and that’s a perfectly valid view that should be expressed. But please discuss that itself. The medical, physical, and psychological affects of female circumcision are by far and away so much more horrific and extensive as to be in a separate class from male circumcision.

      It is a callous dismissal of the human rights violations that FCM perpetuates to invoke its horrors in the name of protesting male circumcision.

    • momof2wholeboys

      There is estimates that over 100 newborn boys die every year from circumcision. Just recently, a baby died because he was circumcised and had hemophilia. If he would have not been circumcised, he would still be alive. No health organization in the world recommends circumcision. It is just as horrific for boys as it is for girls. It removes healthy functioning tissue for cosmetic reasons. Soap, water and condoms are the only way to prevent infections and HIV. Penis cancer is so rare that it shouldn’t even be mentioned and cutting off foreskin isn’t going to prevent it. Should we cut off breasts to prevent breast cancer? Of course not, that sounds stupid. So why is it ok to do that to little boys? If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. 80% of the world is intact and they don’t have a problem with it, why do American men?

    • K.

      I wasn’t arguing against the perspective that male circumcision is wrong; I was saying that your comparison was inappropriate in making that point. Suggesting an equivalency between female and male circumcision is a bit like saying that discrimination in the workplace is like the Holocaust–yes, both fall under the heading ‘discriminatory practices’ but they’re quite different in degree.

    • LA

      You are uninformed. The world’s foremost activist against FGM compares FGM and male circumcision and opposes them both on the same grounds. Oh yeah, and she was infibulated in Somalia as a young girl. Look her up and educate yourself. Soraya Mire.

    • jpsmith@yahoo.com

      momof2wholeboys comparing FGM to MGM is vital to stopping this….so instead of saying FGM….just say Female Foreskin cutting. That is a minor type of FGM but everyone in the civilized world thinks it is just as horrible and any other FGM……I think if we use this term only we can shut up the people who hate to have to accept that fact that both are mutilations…Once they admit that cutting little girls foreskins is unethical and evil, how can they not extend this to boys………I would also like to see their reaction to doing studies in the muslim world that practices this form of FGM to find the same benefits we attribute to MGM

    • whiteroses

      But the thing about hemophilia is that if you get a paper cut (this is without proper medication, mind you), you could bleed out. Also- where are you getting your statistic that 80 percent of the world is intact? Look, Eckler annoys the snot out of me, but the fact that you’re so interested in her son’s penis is…. creepy.

    • Makabit

      Anything on circumcision brings all these folks out of the woodwork.

    • momof2wholeboys

      http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/majority.htm
      It’s completely true. The United States is the only country in the world that routinely circumcises their boys. The circ rate in the rest of the world is like 3-5%. What is wrong with our country that we feel the need to do this to our boys when the rest of the world does just fine?

    • whiteroses

      Show me a medical website, written by an actual verified doctor, with information in it that’s less than five years old and one that isn’t run by an anti-circumcision group. Then maybe I’ll buy your statistics.

      I dunno. I think showing interest in anyone else’s child’s penis is creepy and wierd. That’s just me. I figure unless you either a) gave birth to my child, b) assisted in his genetic makeup or c) will be raising him, the state of my infant’s sexual organs is not your business. The choice that my husband and I made for our son was the right one for our family. The end.

    • momof2wholeboys

      Unless you left him intact, it was not the right choice for anybody. What gives you the right to forceably remove healthy, functioning tissue from your son? It’s funny how women don’t want men to have control over their bodies, but women can have control over what their son’s junk looks like. I hope you’re not pro-choice, because you surely didn’t give your son any choice.

    • whiteroses

      Four things.

      1) I never said if my child was circumcised, You assumed that he wasn’t because it fits in better with your soapboxing. My political ideologies- pro choice or not- are not the issue here. The issue is that you seem to genuinely believe that how you feel about my son’s penis (because let’s actually call it by its proper name, shall we?) matters in the slightest.

      2) It’s funny that you think that the choice to circumcise my son or not was solely mine. I was married when I had my son. Still am. The decision that my husband (my son’s father) and I made was made after extensive discussions with health professionals. That’s why it was the right one for our family. We didn’t make the choice we did to satisfy anyone else.

      3) I repeat. Not. Your. Business. Therefore, you can rant and rave all you’d like in the following comments but I will not be responding. I would no more tell you about the state of my son’s penis then I would tell you about the state of my husband’s.

      4) You still haven’t given me actual medical information backing up your statistics.

    • jpsmith1980

      Let me jump in here….no one knows you or cares about your sons junk or his dad…people like me take their time to speak to “people” like you because PEOPLE WHO KNOW BETTER DO BETTER. I know many parents who are deeply sorry for cutting their boys and who say they should have known better after they watch the amputation and see the pain without blocking it out with cognitive dissonence. I have yet to meet a parent who did not amputate their sons foreskin and then devote themselves to educating other parents on the stupid decision they made NOT to cut their sons penis. Not once have I seen that. I know many people like our friend above who had their sons penises botched up during the circ, or failed to care for it and then required a re circ. Go ask any Pediatric Urologist how many circumcision revisions they have to preform each year in YOUR COMMUNITY and then you’ll start to see what Im talking about and that the calculations that doctors in this country used to come up with Potential benefits of circumcision compared to the complications are totally bogus, and many doctors know this, but they are addicted to charging 300 a cut and then selling the foreskins they take to the cosmetics industry and the skin farms for up to $1000 a piece. HMMM…im sure this has nothing to do with why they ASK every parent in the hospital if they want their son cut. If an average doctor just charges for the circ and doesn’t sell the “SKINS” ..say he does just 4 a week…thats $1200 a week x 55= $66,000 a year. I am totally against taking away a boys chance to choose if he wants a cosmetic surgical amputation preformed on his genitals when he turns 18,,,,but for $66,000 a year I think I would allow myself to be persuaded to become the biggest supporter of this practice. Don’t forget that I did not factor in how much money then make if the SELL YOUR SONS FORESKIN to make Oprah’s face cream….its made from Circumcised foreskin cells…..keeps her face looking young……or to the tissue engineering companies….or to the cosmetics industry. Did your doctor ever tell you that it doesn’t always get “chucked in the trash”…thats what they want you to think….otherwise some really sick parents might ask for “Their share of the loot”. You have all been played for the fool. The same reason all evils happen in this world…for money….for power over another and deviant sexual practices and rights…..and religious nonsense

    • jpsmith1980

      whiteroses I agree that ANYONE so concerned about someone elses genitals that they take the trouble to amputate part of it is creepy and criminal and weird. Now I don’t think If we were talking about the Comparable practice of Female FORESKIN cutting that you would think it is weird that strangers give advise to an obviously poor and dangerous parent to try to advise them of there severe mistake in the event they procreate and have another son. I would be an unethical person if I knowing what I know did not try to educate her on her creepy actions to have her sons penis mutilated because of a 4000 year old book, and then being so penis terrified that she failed to follow simple instructions and maintain it untill it healed without causing what sounds like a large skin bridge that will require her son to undergo surgery and general anesethia. I think Since this is a very common complication that I will be in some way paying for through my taxes in some way that it is my concern. Even if it never costs me a penny , I have a moral obligation to try to stop a mutilation that makes us look like weirdos and savages to the rest of the western world. Several European Counties recently passed laws banning male circumcision for anyone not an adult (excluding medical reasons). A rabbi was recently arrested…then released and the court ruled the ban illegal unfortunately. Do you support Metzizah B’Peh where the rabbi cuts the foreskin off then he takes the penis into his mouth and starts sucking blood out,,,then he puts his saliva into the wound to “cleanse it”……thats real and in NYC 2 babies died from Herpes past from the Mohels mouth into their penises and they died…Herpes Simplex 1 kills babies or causes brain damage. Do you support their religious freedom to do that……..even after the deaths the Rabbi refused to stop claiming religious freedom and refused the NYC health Departments request to test him for oral Herpes..he refused and continuted cutting and sucking. Anyone who refuses to acknowlege this is horrible and evil and pretends not to know that Putting your mouth on a fresh surgical wound, sucking the blood and then spitting into a wound on a babies penis is dangerous and wrong is ethically circumcised. The Ultra Orthodox Jewish Community uses the line that “weve been doing this ritual (Cutting off foreskin,,,placing rabbis mouth on bleeding penis….sucking blood…..spitting dirty bacteria filled saliva into penis wound) for thousands of years”…….like that makes it better….in my opinion that speaks very lowly of a group that claims morality……seems like anyone who has been doing this lacks what I call morality and ethics…..especially after neutral health officials in your city tell you that a member of your group who does this has a disease in his mouth that kills babies if it gets into their bodies Any response….want to take a stand against this practice….hmm….common and speak out against this…….help us out……or are you a

    • jpsmith1980

      Whiteroses, it is true that 70%-75% of the men worldwide are intact. The USA is the only country that still circumcised aprox half its boys. That number is way down over the past 35 years and dropping fast. Not one Medical Organization in the world recommends Routine Infant Male Circumcision. And only in the USA do they claim that Its benefits may outweigh the risks. So the AAP says let the parents decide since there is no evidence it really helps more than it hurts and vica versa. US families request it for there newborns for Cultural reasons that are becoming obsolete. The two main reasons are so babies penis looks like daddy.(they say its for the child but really its so a mutilated man doesn’t have to be reminded how much of his penis was cut off everytime he changes a diaper and start to be envious and resent his son…….its a lot harder to stop that kind of thinking than it is to tell a child….oh dady had a boo boo on his so he had to see that doctor…..then the child would think….oh poor daddy. And how often are fathers showing off their genitals to their children….seems a bit of an odd reason to make your child undergo an extremely painful surgical procedure………and what kind of an…umm…odd child likes to look at daddies .. part…a special one I think……BUT back to the original question………..THE USA for stupid weird cultural and psychological reasons…then you have the I AM CUTTING OFF MY FORESKIN because some book written 4000 years ago said the invisible flying man who sits on a cloud wants me to do it to prove we are really good friends. And because he will give me land if I do and abandon me If I don’t…….HMMM………I’m not even going to get into this as I think you can see where its heading. This is the Jews and Muslims…there are one Billion muslims in the world and up to 400 million circumcised in the USA,African countries, Korea,Phillipeans and a few small random spots….and there are 7 billion people on earth…do the math….not a big percentage

    • jpsmith

      K. If Somalia found a trillion dollars worth of Gold and hired some great American doctors, I am certain that they could do studies to find many benefits to FGM. I can promise you that removing the clit will reduce her chances of contracting HIV greatly. When humans enjoy sex less they have less sex, Less sex=less HIV. Why haven’t I seen a study of young Somali girls to see if they have less HIV. or less UTI or HPV. I can guarentee they have less problems with “Tight Foreskin” around the clit because they don’t have a foreskin. I am so sick of hearing how circumcision can prevent foreskin problems. I consider having a DEAD foreskin a problem. 100% of circumcised men have a DEAD foreskin…thats a bit worse than a TIGHT foreskin..with a tight foreskin you can…um play with it more…thats the Horrible treatment who Spare our men from by amputating it….and something like 2% of men have a true “tight foreskin”. The other cases are American doctors who dont know that the foreskin is fused to the head of the penis untill around age4-7 generally. In infancy the foreskin is almost NEVER retractable at all. It is designed that way and with a very tight sphincter hole at the end so poop cant get in. American parents dont know how to care for it so they try to force it back….and then the baby starts screaming and crying and so they keep trying…..causing inflamation . bleeding….and finally infection……not caused by the foreskin but by the parents messing around with it……it is the same exact principal of trying to remove your childs thumbnail everyday and then wondering why the finger is getting infected under the nail. HMMM……I wish people would simply look outside the box….and by this I mean the USA…..doctors from several Pediatric Associations across Europe recently published a letter in the Journals Blasting the “Socially Biased” studies on circumcision. Meaning trying to prove its OK rather than reveal the dangers…Why would European Doctors say this…….If that doesn’t make American Women wonder why they mutilate there sons I am not sure what else can be done other than promise all of you who circumcised your children that we will make sure they learn the truth about what you did to them. At least for people in my generation who can say that our parents did not have access to the information and that 80% of all boys where “DONE”, “FIXED”. But for the women who just did this, you have no excuse except your unforgivable ignorance and laziness to research such an important topic; your sexism, and your personal cowardess to say to your family and friends that your think its wrong and disgusting. I don’t enjoy informing young men that they had their frenulums(g spot-orgamic trigger) removed because their parents thought it was cute, or that they thought boys cant be trusted to play with their penises in the shower or bath(wash penis). Or the myth that for some reason a foreskin cannot be kept clean…..Almost all US doctors now admit that the belief that circumcision helps hygein is a myth. they say all body parts should be washed , and not to often at that. This country has problems due to to much washing. Dermatologists know this. Our natural skin oils are a good thing. Scouring them away every day or twice a day is not always a good thing. The female Vagina on the other hand produces much more Smegma than the Intact penis and has a much bigger odor problem then the intact man. Girls get 10X more urinary infections than Intact boys do. Why don’t we do studies to see what the rate of UTI’s was in this country a hundred years ago amongst the young girls who where circumcised. We used to circumcise girls for the same reasons who cut the boys…to stop masturbation, to stop UTI, to stop Seizures and TB, to stop girls from becoming Hysterical and to prevent Nymphomania. Male circumcision was even shown by US doctors to help paralysis. This was the origin of what we do today. The main drive was to stop masturbation in young boys by “removing the offending tissue”. Do some research and get on the ball, at least that way when your son confronts you and asks why you removed the most sensitive part of his penis you can say, “sorry I have tried to stop this since then”. You will never be forgiven, but you may be tolerated as long as your working on the right side. Otherwise I think you should be treated with contempt in every way until we can have you prosecuted. You should be treated the same as a parent caught cutting the little girls. You all have a severe form of sexual deviance that you developed from living in a society that said it is OK for you to be sexually aroused by a sexually mutilated person often to the exclusion of non mutilated people…..like our friend who posted above who doesnt date Non amputated men. It is a similar to the african men who like their women looking smooth and pretty down their. Their religious leaders still recommend examining all girls to see if any of them have to much foreskin around the clit….and then they get to decide who has to much and who gets their foreskin removed……this is the exact same thing…..a foreskin for a foreskin….except the male foreskin is about 4 times bigger with a greater number of nerves and different structures….so in many ways male foreskin cutting is WORSE than female foreskin cutting.

  • chickadee

    Okay, so this could only happen to you, but it turns out that it’s actually your fault? Do you realize that you basically said that you were so concerned with feeling sorry for yourself because you were sore and tired that you didn’t bother to pay attention to wjat you needed to do to take care of your infant’s surgical aftercare?

    This isn’t a funny story, you know. You were negligent and caused a situation that will mean further surgery.

    • Rachel

      Yeah, I was going to say… when my son was circumcised, we were specifically advised on how to care for it (after the initial healing process, you’re supposed to apply Vaseline on a daily basis and basically just monitor it), and we followed the instructions accordingly. Since I had a rough recovery for some reason, my husband just made that part of the nighttime ritual.

      I don’t think people should opt in for surgical procedure for their children if they are unable/unwilling to be responsible afterward.

  • Eileen

    Is it going to get infected or not heal properly if you don’t get a second surgery? Because if not, I say just leave it. They did cut him, and it looks okay to you, and those were the points, right? Also, yes, it is your fault, but that’s water under the bridge now. Just concern yourself with what’s the kindest thing to do for him now.

    PS As a woman who has never practiced circumcision-status discrimination, I can safely say that your friend’s paramour probably wasn’t circumcised. There really is very little difference between the two when the penis is erect, except that uncircumcised men generally don’t need lube for handjobs/masturbating. And if he’s got a condom on you absolutely cannot tell. The main appearance difference is when it’s flaccid.

    • Makabit

      Yeah, I’d say leave it if there’s no medical reason to. He’s had a bris. He doesn’t need another one. As long as his penis is in good working order, I’d say time to move on.

    • JPSMITH

      I agree with Makabit, if he already had the Bris than he has fulfilled the Covenant and has not cost all the rest of us Jews gods promise to give us the promised land. Teach your son to be proud of what he has done for his people. He will always be in our thoughts for his heroic sacrifice. I cannot express our gratitude. P.S. I am the owner of a pediatric Urological Center and we can evaulate little Isaac for a fee of $350 and the circumcision revision will cost $15,300. Don’t feel bad, you did the right thing and Dont forget to circumcise your children!!!

    • MRASoldier

      it’s supposed to be the 21st century and a so called civilized society. This country for someone reason had the guts to ban infant female circumcision but yet it won’t ban infant male circumcision..

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      That’s because female circumcision consist of cutting off the entire clitoris and in some cases, even removing the inner and outer labia, and leaving nothing but the vaginal opening, some even sew the vaginal opening closed. Female circumcision is only used because they believe it gets rid of sexual desire, and also to prevent them from experiencing pleasure through sex or masturbation, and to prevent them from achieving orgasm. Male circumcision is simply removing a thin piece of unneeded skin, which has health benefits.

    • momof2wholeboys

      So very false. There are zero health benefits to circumcision. It is not an unneeded piece of skin. Please do some research. The Whole Network and sexasnatureintendedit.com is a good place to start.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      There are benefits, you can read about them here http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/circumcision

    • momof2wholeboys

      I wouldn’t trust webmd. There are ZERO benefits to circumcision. They are all myths and lies. 80% of the world is intact and doesn’t have near the amount of STD’s that we do. They are fine. The United States has the highest circ rate and the highest rate of HIV and HPV in the world. Explain that one to me. You treat infections with antibiotics…you don’t just cut parts off. I guess my sister should have had her ears cut off for recurrent ear infections according to your logic. Phimosis is caused by forced retraction and can be resolved with steroid creams and stretching and NOT forcefully retracting. The owner of the penis should be the only one to retract himself. Soap, water and condoms is all you need. You are sadly misinformed.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      good job being original and using a statement already made in the article as your own. Funny how you say “I wouldn’t trust webmd” yet you still used it. The fact is, is that particular article was contradictory, it did in fact say that there were health benefits even if they were minor, only to retract the statement. Point is, is you can look online and try and play doctor all you want, I’ve talked to plenty of doctors about this topic that would say you’re wrong. And just because something doesn’t agree with you doesnt mean it is all “myth and lies”. The united states doesn’t have the highest rate of HIV in the world, south africa does with over 5,600,000 infected, america has a little over one million, with india, china, nigeria and a few others ranking between 2-4 million.

    • momof2wholeboys

      The USA and Africa has the highest HIV/HPV rate in the world. That is a fact. The article on WebMD that I posted was pediatricians saying that it is an unneeded procedure and they are right. At any rate, every boy deserves the right to their WHOLE body. You don’t have the right to remove a healthy functioning part to “prevent” infections. We don’t remove ear, tonsils, appendixes, toenails just because they “might” become infected. We treat them with antibiotics and we move on. Why is it illegal and enforced for girls, but not enforced for boys? It is already illegal under the 14th amendment.

      thewholenetwork.org and sexasnatureintendedit.com are great places to learn the truth.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      Usa is no where near the highest, that is false, there are about 5 or 6 other countries with higher rates than america. What I’m saying though is, they said that it had benefits and in the same article turned around and said it didnt. that doesnt make sense. There are in fact proven benefits, but i never said that it shouldn’t wait until they are old enough to make the decision themselves, after all circumcision can be done at any age. personally I think newborns are too fragile and prone to infection, plus the added hassle of caring for it on top of everything else. I realize my comments may seem like I’m all 100 percent for having it done to newborns, but really, I believe it can be a good idea and beneficial for those that decide to do it later on, but I’m actually unsure and conflicted about whether doing it to a newborn is a good idea. After all it is much safer and a better idea to have a teenager or adult take care of their own area, post circumcision than someone else doing it. The mom in the article basically proves that point.

    • jpsmith

      Hey KyukiYoshida. I new from the time I was 13 and realized that a friend of mine had what I considered the most sensitive part of my body removed from his that circumcision was wrong. Since the Rigid Band and the Frenulum contain more of the Orgasmic trigger nerve endings than the female clitorous does, it makes it a horrible mutilation. The reason men continue to do this to their sons is because if they didn’t, they would have to admit that they lost the best part of their penis also, and when you try to tell them that they you are giving them a shock. It takes men often a long time to accept it. Then they must begin to grieve the loss. Its just easier for some to deny and mutilate. Same goes for mothers. Just look at this poor women who’s son was ruined who started this post. I am very tired of ignorant American women who in reality subject their baby boys to extremely severe pain that lasts for days and can be detected during vaccinations 6 months later, just because they think a foreskin looks funny. Or they believe that it is impossible to clean. That is the dumbest myth every. Just shower a few times a week and no problems. And if you forget to shower I guarantee the worst that will happen is,,,,,well if you put your nose right to your genitals and retract your prepuce you might catch a slight smell of natural penis. FYI, an uncircumcised penis that has not been washed for a week smells very similiar to a womens vagina that was washed that morning. I am not joking either. Women produce far more smegma than men do, and a mans genitals are much easier to keep clean. It can be done in the show in like 15 seconds. So you have the choice, remove your sons foreskin and frenulum(the male G spot-Clit) because you think it looks funny, or teach him basic washing and to always be proud of his body and never let anyone tell him different. And since this information is no out in the public and since the circ rate is dropping fast, it is the circumcised boys in the shower who will be getting teased…..Johnny had his clit cut off, johnny had his clit cut off……..alot worse than hearing hey Turtleneck. Maybe I am just silly for thinking that is like a million times worse,,to be the kid who had part of his penis amputated. I can practically guarantee that your circumcised child will resent you for doing this to him because I can promise you that these truths that I new from my teenage years and have confirmed with 20 years of study are correct. I don’t have to prove that all people should be entitled to a whole body. I don’t have to prove that no one wants their sexual organs operated on. Operations never increase sensitivity. Operations like circumcision require cutting nerves, clamping arteries like the frenular artery, crushing many feet of veins and causing intense pain. A recent study to see what circumcision device caused the least pain was stopped early because it was obvious to the doctors the babies all experieced “severe persistant pain” and that to finish the study would be futile and unethical. HMMM….they also found that all the current methods to control pain during and after circumcision where ineffective. So congrats of causing your newborn baby Severe Persistant Pain for many days on a procedure that no medical society in the world recommends and that the rest of the western world has rejected. I know many Europeans as my family is from Germany and they think the US is very sick and “distrubed” is the term they used. They also find it shocking that Americans are asked by doctors if they want this done at birth. They don’t get why anyone would want to amputate part of a penis for cosmetic reasons. Since its not a part of their culture and all the german girls are used to Intact men, they think the circumcised boys are the oddballs. They also find it sad. Don’t let your son go to Europe when he’s older, or he might have an unpleasant experience with a european women. But look on the bright side, at least to he wont have to wash his penis now………oh wait…he still does…………Well at least he has a reduced chance of getting penile cancer…….even though only old guys get that…….and even though more men get breast cancer……Boy did you mess up women..damn

    • KyukiYoshida

      Wait, you are yelling at me like I’m the one that did something. i didn’t mess up anyone, i don’t even have a son. So i’ve never had anyone circumcised. Also, that was written a whole year ago where i was still learning about it all and conflicted and asking alot of questions. God forbid. I also know what a penis is like, I have a boyfriend, and can assure you that a penis unwashed for a week is WAY worse than a freshly washed vagina. A vagina isn’t hard to clean either and takes only a few moments as well. Also, the clit in a female has more nerve endings than an entire intact penis. And that is something backed by actual scientific findings.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      I actually did alot of research before my child was born and before I knew the gender. Many people including men, suggested if I had a boy, i get him circumcised, so I spent the next couple months reading extensively into it and even went around and asked multiple doctors and pediatricians about the risks and benefits.

    • momof2wholeboys

      and they all lied to you. There are no benefits. ZERO. You gave your son the male equivalent of a boob job. It is a cosmetic surgery. How do you explain that 80% of the world’s men are intact and they have no issues with it, but the men of the USA do? Doctors are fed you bull and you ate it up.

    • JPSMITH

      I totally agree with you circumcision is horrible and robs men of the most sensitive parts of the penis. The only thing I see wrong with your post is that their may be some minimal benefit to a circ. There may also be some benefit to cutting off both legs. Can’t get a splinter in your toe. The only reason I mention this is because for people who have yet to make up their minds or are for this procedure, they may discount what you say if you make claims like “Zero Health Benefits”. I advise against such absolute terms as they are undoubtably wrong. Otherwise all I can say is well done. You protected your children, and you won’t have this hanging over your head for the rest of your life, like this poor women now will, what a nightmare for this poor boy. I am sure when he reaches puberty and has sexual problems that turn into mental health issues, I am sure the mental health issues will not ever be represented a complication of circumcision. This is why all the studies that calculate risk benefit analysis of circumcision are wrong. Since it takes men about 16 years to become sexually active, and then most men never report their disfunction the calculations are total bull.

  • http://www.facebook.com/paul.white.3532507 Paul White

    Not being snipped never stopped me from having sex.
    Also, this is one cultural/religious tradition I can’t really respect. Yep, we’re gonna whack off part of your body…yuh, nope.

    • http://twitter.com/babaloomaloo babaloo maloo

      I have to say it never made a difference to me. I don’t get why it’s an issue for some women. Its like a guy not going near a girl who has irregular labia.

    • allisonjayne

      absolutely.

      Also, lots of jewish folks are avoiding it, and having a jewish naming ceremony instead. just sayin’.

    • StephKay

      I don’t know why you got down voted, you’re totally right. We’re Jewish, and when the little guy is born he might have a brit shalom (naming ceremony) but definitely not a bris. I know plenty of Jewish moms who have opted out. Yes it is tradition and supposedly the means by which a son enters into the covenant of Abraham, but it really isn’t mandatory. It’s not like they strip kids down when they start Hebrew school to check just how Jewish they look. It really is a personal choice.

    • Tinyfaeri

      Now I gotta ask… what are regulatr labia? ;-)

    • Gangle

      I was wondering the exact same thing!! Are there some mysterious IRREGULAR labia that I haven’t been informed about? I mean, is there a labia doctor who goes around handing out regular labia certificates? And if I have an irregular labia do I get special benefits, like a cool parking space?

    • Tinyfaeri

      Vagina monsters. It’s all vagina monsters.

    • Jpsmith1980

      There are many doctors who make a fortune providing labiaplasty surgery….it involves cutting out a v section of skin in the middle of the labia and stitching the ends together. It is another example of people being taught not to love themselves as they are and to go under the knife to feel better….I am sure alot of the women CHOOSING to have themselves cut are doing so because some boyfriend or girlfriend said something ignorant. It is a societal problem. It is a problem with doctors agreeing to cut genitals for cosmetic reasons instead of saying….Young lady,everyones labia look different and yours don’t look any stranger than any others I have seen”. If they still insist make them get a psych eval and only then MAYBEE consider it if it is messing up their life if their is no medical reason….the same for men wanting a circ…..the first step should be to encourage them they are normal are beautiful they way nature made them…if they still want the amputation then send them to the psych doctor……even after that I would then tell them I will not do it go find someone who doesn’t have morals or didn’t take the Hippocratic oath.

    • msenesac

      I completely agree. My husband and I proudly opted out of circumcising our son. Living in the midwest, we were asked repeatedly at the hospital if we were SURE we weren’t going to do it. It was infurating.

    • meteor_echo

      Also, more sensitivity in… places, when you’re uncircumcised. I’d say that’s a plus.

    • S

      i only ever had one, but he was some of the best damn,…uh. you know. so good for you

  • http://twitter.com/babaloomaloo babaloo maloo

    Ouch, poor baby.

  • shell

    This whole article is completely retarded and I feel sorry for your baby boy … you sound like you had more growing up to do before you had a baby .

    • Tinyfaeri

      You’re going to use the word “retarded” and then tell someone else they need to grow up?

  • Dusty

    Wow, you self-absorbed psycho, this is 100% your fault! Your poor, poor son will require another very painful procedure, and you write a lighthearted article about it? AND shift the blame? You’re a very bad person and in particular a shitty mother.

    • Ordinaryperson

      Jeeze. Yea, she kinda already said she thought it was her fault, although the kid does have two parents so there is plenty of blame to go around if you’re into that kind of thing. The problem only seems to be cosmetic as she’s presenting it, so maybe you’d like to tone it down a notch?

  • SusannahJoy

    Wow, there is some serious hate here… While yeah, you definitely should have paid more attention to what the after care required, it’s not like you were the only one responsible for that, especially if you were on pain killers at the time. Your husband shares the blame equally. Did you not get a paper or anything that went over after care? As for whether or not you should get another one- take him to the Dr. and ask. If they say that he might have problems because this one didn’t heal right, get it fixed, but if they say it’s fine, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

    • Daisy

      I was thinking that too. If the only care information given was a single mention to one person who had just undergone major surgery, then what were they thinking? I don’t think that is even legal. Any procedure I’ve ever had done, from wisdom teeth removal to braces to a freaking ear-piercing at the mall involved a lot more instructions, written and verbal, pre- and post-procedure, signing papers acknoweldging I understood, etc. And a circumcision seems like a way more major procedure than braces or a piercing, so I really truly cannot imagine that this is all Rebecca’s fault for “not paying attention” immediately after giving birth.
      If they went through that whole rigamarole with both her and her fiancee, and they still didn’t take care of it because they couldn’t be bothered or something, then yeah, we could spread some serious blame. But that doesn’t sound like the case at all.

    • chickadee

      A bris does not take place immediately following birth. The ceremony took place in her home after she was discharged.

    • Makabit

      Eight days after a c-section, eight days caring for a newborn…I think it might be incumbent on the mohel to make sure that all the adults caring for the child actually got the message about how to take care of the baby post-bris. I don’t remember quite what I was doing when my daughter was eight days old, but I was not exactly compos mentis.

    • chickadee

      Then I must be a medical miracle, because I was compos mentis well before 8 days, and I would have made sure before the mohel left that I knew how to take care of the site. And if I wasn’t sure, I’d ask a doctor or check a medical site. I doubt the mohel breezed off without giving instructions, since that’s a recipe for a lawsuit.

      ETA sorry that I sound bitchy. Eckler has a habit of writing about bad parenting techniques and acting like they are amusing. This one just ent too far….

    • Edify

      Did you have exactly the same birth? You can’t compare people’s physical, mental and emotional states post birth. Everyone has a different birth and everyone handles it differently.

    • chickadee

      I did, yes . Exactly the same.

    • Edify

      I too has a c-sect but I was definitely not compos mentis within 8 days. Our method of delivery may have been the same but it’s not possible that we shared the exact set of circumstances from beginning to end. Just because it was true to you, does not make it fact.

    • Not That Rebecca

      Agreed. Our mohel (also a traditional mohel, which a woman mohel could by definition not be) and pediatrician gave the shpiel to me and my husband, and left written instructions, and followed up by phone that night and the next day, and then a week later, to make sure everything was going well and to verify we were caring for it as directed. (Which consisted only of applying Vaseline, keeping it clean, and watching for bleeding, IIRC.) It’s not 100% on the post-surgical mother to keep it all straight, FFS.

      And, while there is no reason why Rebecca Eckler should listen to strangers in the internet, I’d verify that there’s some need for a re-bris. If it’s still kosher, and there’s no chance he’ll be told to get it done again later in life (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone) then there might be no harm in leaving well enough alone, and the adhesions will reverse on their own as he gets older. Modern brissim don’t remove as much skin as the old-school religious kind, or the current medical circumcision.

    • jpsmith1980

      I can assure you the mohel checked 5 times with the groggy mother to make sure the credit card number was right……and plus she was in severe caffeine withdrawal so we can’t blame her. She did the best she could just not amputating the ENTIRE penis. She was in a rush also….she had 4 more penis to destroy that afternoon. I really wonder if she is ultra orthodox and preformed the methizah b’peh ceromomy. When the rabbi put his/her mouth on the freshly circumcised penis and sucks the blood out…then spits saliva into the wound to “cleanse it” Its a requirement of the Ultra Orthodox Jewish community and several babies recently died in NYC from a mohel who had oral herpes and spread it to the child penises killing them……He also refused to stop cutting and sucking despite the health departments letters and request for him to stop and their requests to test him…..he refused to stop….refused to be tested and lawyered up and claimed anti semitism……it didn’t matter that the people accusing him (the dead babies parents) where members of his own Ultra Orthodox community…….these Jewish people it seems where anti semites….

    • jpsmith1980

      Daisy, she wasn’t given these instructions “immediately after birth”. She is Jewish so it was 8 days later. I think she is either slightly slow (no offense intended) or perhaps has a drug addiction as was slightly referred to in the post…..being very foggy eight days post op…HMMM…anyway I think she is just trying to put all the blame on the mutilator and to spare herself from the knowledge that she ruined her sons penis and then again showed her complete idiocy by posting about it on the freeking WORLD WIDE WEB. Gosh Darn some people are stupid. If her son doesn’t develop severe emotional problems from having a mutilated penis, he is likely to after all his classmates find this post. Kids google eachothers names constanly….this kid was one of those nightmare cases who is destroyed sexually and now because of this “mother” socially as well.

    • jpsmith1980

      SusannaJoy If you had studied this issue for more than a couple days you would know instantly what she was referring to. Her child has a Skin bridge extending from the circumcision scar to the scarred glans. Since in infancy and childhood the Head of the Penis and foreskin are essentially one….they are fused together with a membrain that is like super sticky crazy glue…that is to protect the head and urethra from poop and pee. Thats why the foreskins little hole is so tight in infancy…its not “tight foreskin”…is like that in EVERY BABY BOY. So because of this to circumcise a baby the doctor first has to tear open the foreskins sphincter hole with two pair of medical pliars called hemostats then he has to take blunted scissors and stick them between the foreskin and the head and keep opening them to TEAR THE FORESKIN AND HEAD APART. This is massively painful as the babies shriek no nothing you have ever heard before. The sound of this will never leave your mind….and if it does there is something wrong with you. SInce they are crazy glued together when the head and foreskin are torn apart, often pieces of one or both are left with the other…sometimes this means pieces of inner foreskin still left of the head…other times it means pieces of head get torn away….this is why some men have cratering of the head of the penis. These areas where cause by the separation process and there is now way to prevent it except to wait until natural separation happens at age 5 aprox. Sometimes more sometimes less. So the Head is always oozing blood in many many little spots after the tearing and separation and if the circumcision scar touches the head then can heal together….this causes the penis to have painful bent erections and it can allow dirt to get caught under the “SKIN BRIDGE”. This requires the bridge to be cut so now more skin must be cut….and if the doctor misjudges at all at this point he will but way what was before just the head of the penis…the the head will be “Notched”……how wonderful this all is……Now if you didn’t know this stuff…ask yourself why didn’t you…did you simply trust your doctor not to care more about the money you where about to pay him then your sons penis. Did the doctor ever tell you that The AAP says if doesn’t matter either way…but there may be some potential benefit to cutting….even though Several European Pediatric Associations blasted there position statement and said they where culturally biases and where practicing bad medicine and violating human rights…..did he tell you that before he cut you son…or did he tell you that you son will no longer be the DREADED oddball in the locker room shower now that half the boys are left intact…..Nowadays the circumcised boys will be made fun of by the Intact natural boys because the parents of them KNOW WHY THEY LEFT THEM INTACT and will teach them how freekin lucky they are….the cut kids will be bashed for having their frenulums removed…..if you dont know what that is look it up…its contains the same type of nerves as the clit….just alot more of them…and circumcision typically removes most or all of it….depending on what device they did it with……and did you even know there where 3 major different devices to choose from and its a crap shoot which one your doctor will prefer….they all remove different amounts of tissue and spare other tissues………..and if you think you can ask the doctor to “Not cut to much”…sorry no luck…they use a devices that don’t give them that kind of leeway….If thats what you want…to dictate how much to cut and what parts to leave on…..Get ready to pay for a plastic surgeon…Because Pediatricians and OB-Gyns are not surgeons…they just know how to put on the device …tighten it and make an idiot cut…..I could teach you to circumcise a child just as good as any new med student in a couple hours…thats how long the training on each of these devices takes…..if you wanted to just learn to do the procedure real super quick…..anyone could learn in 20 minutes….but you might have more complications until you got your techinique perfected….like the med student…………dont forget when your baby is circumcised in the hospital…they dont tell you that a medical student preforming their first cut may be working on your child

  • kelly

    You people are nasty!!!! I have twins which were circumcised, no one told us to pull back the skin..we pretty much patted it with a warm rag and put vaseline on it. Both are fine, all circumcisions not equal she did not cut eneough off, period! Frigging crazy that woman would care..they boy is cut id leave it be. Her tone is kinda flippant but I’m sure she is devasted..

    • heynow

      Yeah she sounds super devastated.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alicia.kiner Alicia Kiner

    Ok I had my son circumcised, mostly because I know someone who didn’t get one until he was a teenager, and I couldn’t see putting my son through this. That being said, I never had to “pull back” the skin. I cleaned him with a wet wash cloth, and a little baby soap, put some A& D ointment on it, and closed up the diaper. My son’s penis is just fine. My daughter, however, had an issue where her labia were actually sealing shut, and we had to pull THAT apart (you want to see something funny… tell your hubby that he has to spread his daughter’s labia if he changes her diaper). So while the tone of the article makes it sound like you may have a part in what happened, unexpected things happen every day. Sometimes, there’s just no reason why, stuff just happens.

  • Betty

    You are getting a lot of hate, and for that I am sorry. I do need to add my 2 cents in, though. You did your duty and sacrificed what you needed to. So it didn’t turn out perfectly. I have never met a woman that cares one way or another. I used to make fun of it because I didn’t know any better. My husband is not circumcised and it doesn’t matter one iota to me. There is a large shift in this country and more and more boys are not being circumcised, so I don’t think it will be an issue for your son. Do you really want him to go through that pain again? Ouch!

    • https://www.youtube.com/user/loveunderlaw Loveunderlaw

      Yet more proof that the followers of the Abrahamic “God” are insane & evil. Muslims, Christians, & Jews are the MOST violent of all people on the Earth, that’s no coincidence either. Their parasite “God” is garbage and loves to make us all suffer.

  • rabbitwithfangs

    “I know a lot of women who will only have sex with men who are
    circumcised. Yes, we actually ASK men if they are.” There’s an editorial mistake here – ‘women’ should be replaced with ‘insensitive, sexist bitches’. How would you feel about a man writing that his friends only have sex with women over a certain bust size, or with perfect ‘porno’ labia? Think he’s an ignorant pig? Yeah, me too.

    • Monica

      Wow, you are so far off base. The author is Jewish. A circumcision is an important part of her faith. She and her friends have every right to only date men who adhere to their religious customs, and they should be able too do so without ridiculous judgments like yours.

    • rabbitwithfangs

      If her religion causes her to miss out on meeting the right man, I feel sorry for her. That’s an observation, not a judgment.

    • LA

      My personal beliefs dictate I only date women who had their genitals surgically modified as infants.

    • LA

      Labia are f’ing disgusting. Slice them off.

    • jpsmith1980

      Monica, your comments indicate you are not Jewish as what you said is totally incorrect. You are Jewish if your mother is a jew. Being a jew is passed down on the mothers side only. It is not passed by having a Bris. It is not passed down by having a Metzizah b’peh preformed (when the rabbi takes bleeding penis into his mouth and sucks the blood from the fresh wound. You don’t become a jew when he spits saliva into the circumcision wound to cleanse it and help it heal. You don’t become jewish if the Rabbi transmits his oral Herpes to the babies genitals and the baby dies from a severe herpes infection. And you don’t not become a rabbi or even lose your ability to infect others in New York City as long as you can avoid letting the New York Department of health evaluate you for Oral Herpes. There is no Jewish Law that says Jewish women cannot date intact men. If a Jewish man is Intact(not cut) is just means there are a few religious activities he cannot preform. There are a large number of Jews who immigrated to Israel from Russia who do not circumcise. In America today there is a growing number of Jews who refuse to circumcise and forgoe the Bris Milah for a Bris Shalom(Naming Ceremony).

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/3IY44OA2MWHBV766SV4OGKJQ2A Miki

      Preferences are preferences and if you think that for one minute I[‘m going to believe men don’t have equally superficial, appearance-based preferences about who THEY will poke, gimme a break.

    • jpsmith

      Hi Miki, I admit it, you are right. I refuse to even consider going out with a women until I am positive she had AT LEAST and index card size of healthy functional erotic tissue removed from her vagina. I prefer that she sacrifices a minimum of 20,000 erotic nerve endings. And don’t let me find out she had some medical reason to have it done, I like it when my women sacrifice the tissue to god. Or better yet I am fine I she has if cut to Prevent her from getting….a minor irritation on the clit. This is actually a good idea since girls get 10X more Urinary infections than UNcircumcised men do….so why aren’t parents loosing sleep and planning surgery for their girls….Just the female foreskin. It would be a more minor surgery than male circumcision as the female foreskin doesn’t go circumfrentially around anything like the mans does…that always makes it more dangerous as anyone involved with injuries goes. How dare you try to compare men not dating a women who DECIDED not having a boobjob to a man who was LUCKY ENOUGH to not be circumcised at birth. Your comment would only makes sense if parents decided for their infant girls to give them implants at birth without their consent. You are lacking your ethical compass young women. Pretend you live in a Somalia and the Imam says your foreskin has to go…..its sunnah.(religious law) You would probably tell him to get lost and then you would run away. But if he asked you to cut your child you would be like…..well its a 6000 year old cherished tradition….so sure cut my babys genitals……just don’t touch mine OK………..she won’t know whats shes missing anyway

  • Nopesir

    Just a personal thing of mine but I’m not keen on on medical procedures that kinda have no legit purpose beyond aesthetic…..without the person’s its being done to consent. I seriously hope your kid is gunna be ok because now he’s going to need further surgery to fix it. Lovely. lets joke about that. so funny, surgery. surgery is funny.

  • Ms.V

    My son also had a semi-botched circumcision, that sounds similar in result to the one described. Before anyone starts hating on me, I will say that I did follow the care instructions. My son’s circumcision was performed before we left the hospital after his birth, and was done by the same doctor who left me with a wobbly c-section scar. We aren’t Jewish, so I just let it be. I have dealt with men who were and who weren’t and it never had any impact on my ability to have relations with them. I don’t think penises are particularly pretty either way, and both serve their intended purposes just fine. If I ever had another son, I wouldn’t circumcise after this experience.

  • Psych Student

    I imagine that what I have to say will be repeated by several other people, but I am not currently in the correct state of mind (my sleeping pills are kicking in, and my grammar and spelling is shot to hell, my most profound apologies) to sort through the Eckler blaming bullshit and I’m just going to make my points so I can feel better about myself. I’m so sorry sweetie that things turned into a mess.
    From a perspective of human sexuality, I can tell you that things like this happen. One of the problems that adolescents and adults experience is that they have pain during sex due to problems that can be fixed (like an incomplete circumcision), but because these people haven’t been told that sex shouldn’t hurt, they don’t know that they may have a fixable problem. Additionally, in the discussion about a circumcised penis vs. and uncircumcised one. First – TO EACH THEIR OWN! This is a decision that parents can make for themselves, do no ever criticize someone else’s decision. Statistics show that in Europe the rates of circumcision are much much lower than they are in the United States. The reason American women think that there is something strange about an uncircumcised penis (I panicked when I saw my first uncircumcised penis, I didn’t know what to do, turned out fine), is because we educate children (and adults) that sex is between a man and a woman who mash this bits together until he comes and that’s it. There is no discussion about what kinds of pleasure can be had by either party outside of penis in vagina penetration (which rarely results in an orgasm in women). Because we do not discuss with people anything about what various genitalia looks like or how it can be handled or pleasured then people panic over genitals that don’t like exactly as we thought they should. The same goes for men with micro penises. Studies show that the partner’s of these men have *highly* satisfying sex lives and many orgasms because the men find ways to work with what they have and find ways to get their partner’s needs met. Point being, circumcised or not, don’t panic, just accept that it might not look as expected but it can be worked it.
    The other thing I wanted to mention is that the rates of circumcision in the US is decreasing, so a non-circumcised penis will become less rare and frightening. Also, Rebecca, I don’t think you’re to blame for the situation. After medical procedures I’ve had done myself or to someone I was caring for, I was walked through paperwork to confirm I knew what I needed to know. If I was too out of it, the person who was with me was given the instructions and the explanations. The idea that someone would expect a new mother to be in the state of mind to just commit to memory detailed medical instructions. While there are no mind readers, it would have been nice for someone’s parent (grandparent of the new baby) could take charge and get the information (again, it’s not their fault, they could not have known, without someone saying so directly, that the role of medical information gather was needed).
    Ok, I’m not sure if I made any points at any time, and I apologize for the most dreadful spelling and grammar and word choice. But as we all know, sometimes things just need to be said before bed can be had. Now bed can be had. Thank you for allowing my to express my thoughts (I will, in future, keep them in a more appropriate venue).

  • TLCTugger

    Foreskin feels REALLY good. Seriously, it’s the best part.

    And here is the sad tale of another boy who will never know the full measure of joy nature refined us to delight in, and worse he’s mutilated a 2nd time to undo a parent’s woeful negligence.

    Please parents, why can’t you trust you children to grow to be rational adults who can make their own choices about their own bodies?

  • Annie

    Why the hell did you write this? Or not do so anonymously?

    Your son’s possible genital deformation is now public record. Years from now, friends are going to google his name and tease him *mercilessly* because his oversharing mother didn’t respect his privacy and personal space enough to keep that information off the internet.

    That speaks of a complete lack of common sense and foresight, and I am so tired of parents doing this shit to their kids. You aren’t posting a picture on facebook of your dog licking its balls, these are human beings with as much a right to dignity as anyone else.

    Don’t just assume because you wouldn’t think twice about writing about your genitals that he’d feel the same way, and if you *would* think twice about sharing with the whole world intimate details of your vagina with an embarrassing photo and tagline to go along with it, then why the hell would you do it to him?

    • rebecca eckler

      yeah, he’s nine months old. He doesn’t have any friends.

    • Annie

      That’s the thing, just because he isn’t aware of what you’re doing now, it doesn’t mean that he won’t be later. You’re failing to realize this and it’s really, really irritating me. When you put something on the internet, it’s there *forever*.

      Even if you delete this article, it will continue to exist, just not here.

    • Diana

      ” Years from now” She said. Ie: When he is no longer 9 months old and does have friends. He will be a teenager one day. The internet is forever.

    • Tinyfaeri

      That’s a very, very good point.

    • whiteroses

      This is why I will never post a picture of my son online unless he is fully clothed. That’s also why I have never posted anything about him that could be construed as oversharing. Because eventually, my son will be an adult. And it’s not for me to share private, personal details about his life- I wouldn’t want to answer to him about that later on.

    • Annie

      Exactly!!

    • jpsmith1980

      Your so right,,,I worry that this women is going to think demons are responsible for bad circ and leave him in a hot car or something. She reminds me of that women who murdered her son because after she had him circumcised she thought his penis looked to small. I am not joking when I say that anyone who did this to their child should not be allowed to keep them…they are sick and dangerous people and must be treated with utter contempt at every moment. Only when people realize there are consequences to this will they stop. I hope that by my actions these children will disown their parents after they have paid for college and sue them and the doctors. I would hope this is criminalized ASAP. How many more baby boys have to have their futures stolen to line the pockets of greedy American “Doctors”

  • MRASoldier

    how can women make the argument my body my choice when it comes to abortion yet they don’t allow males to decide if they want to be circumcised or not.
    it’s truly hard for me to care about a female circumcision in 3rd world countries since male circumcision is still allowed here

    • Ordinaryperson

      must….not….feed….troll….

    • Diana

      Stay strong Ordinaryperson! We can do it!

    • Gangle

      Dear, dear crazy troll person. I am so so VERY sorry that I have not given you your medication today. But you see, you keep escaping in search for internet access. I have tried my hardest to take care of you, keeping your cage clean and taking you to obediance classes on thursday nights. But I never guessed what I was committing myself to when I bought you from the breeder. I bought you because I thought you would be fashionable and fun, and I could fit you in my handbag. I was wrong and I’m sorry.

  • Lo

    dear god, when will you stop torturing that poor baby, what will it take? and for what? to remove the foreskin, which is a normal, healthy, functioning organ of the human genitalia that ALL humans are born with, male and female. i’m jewish and my 21 year old son is perfectly intact, the way nature–AND GOD– intended. it amazes me that jews allow their babies to be cut in order to honor some bullshit covenant with god, but yet, by cutting off a part of their sons’ genitals, they are basically telling the creater that it fucked up and they to need to fix it!. more and more jews are saying NO to genital cutting and are welcoming their precious newborns into the world with gentle ceremonies that don’t require the amputation of a body part! it is an outdated and abuse barbaric sexual ritual and i honestly don’t know how you listen to the blood curdling screams of your newborn as he is being tortured. tragic and unncessary.

  • http://www.facebook.com/roze.quartz Roze Quartz

    Coffee and penises??? Your poor child. His penis is HIS penis. Forget your parties. This is your son’s penis! How dare you let anyone cut into it and then say you served caffeine free coffee like this is a joke!
    I doubt your son and his future wife will think it’s just as funny in the future.

    • rebecca eckler

      religion, my friend. I am Jewish and believe in the Jewish culture and it is a celebration. Other Jewish people may not circumcize their sons, but it’s my choice as I am proud of MY religion.

    • http://www.facebook.com/roze.quartz Roze Quartz

      Cut a girl go to jail. Cut a boy throw a party.

  • Sky

    I left my son intact, like 80% of men around the world. His body his choice. Also Sexually leaving your son whole is better for him and his future partners. http://jewsagainstcircumcision.org/ and http://www.thewholenetwork.org/

  • http://www.facebook.com/NoCircStark Intactivist Stark

    I feel sorry for people who still believe the circumcision is better. Its HIS body. Most men in the world are not cut. They are fine. Stop treating children as property. Let them have the rights to their own bodies. savingsons.org

  • Scottish

    So happy we didn’t circumcise our son. Barbaric.

  • YoGa

    Why do people keep doing this to their children! I was circumcised as a child and I wish it was never done. Things like this depress me.

  • Alpha

    Circumcision rates are falling! No reason fro babies to be in pain needlessly! Drmomma.org

  • MarcusCorssse

    You know people really started cirucmcisng to make sex less pleasurable… the foreskin has over 20,000 nerve endings.

  • Caleigh Grace

    It’s acceptable for a woman to abort a baby, but not to circumcise him…only in America

  • Dave

    You’re a disgusting pig.

  • JPsmith

    Your son is circumcised, he had the usual amount of his penis amputated. You failed to follow the instructions of the Mohel and make sure the circumcision wound and the head of the penis, which are both open wounds after a circumcision do not stick and heal together. The Mohel failed to confirm that you understood what she was teaching you about your sons amputation. This is unforgivable as she is used to dealing with women recently out of the hospital and on Narcotic drugs for pain say. She failed you and your son greatly and now he will have to be put under for surgery which is a risk. He now must undergo another painful surgery and more scarring to his penis. The only benefit of doing a circumcision in the home is that your home is not contaminated with MRSA like all hospitals now are. Find a lawyer and sue. I also find it scarry she sounds like a heavy caffine user who was in withdrawal. Where her hands shaking? Your story is a perfect example of the risks of this surgery. Today the Circ rate in this country is down to about 50%, a massive drop in the last 35 years due to the spread of the knowledge that the foreskin contains 20,000 meisners corpuscles, the “erotic” nerve endings. Anatomical studies have now proven that the rigid band and frenulum contain more nerve endings responsible sexual pleasure than the female clitorous does. Also several European Pediatric Medical Associations are so shocked at the AAP’s recent statement that circumcision benefits may outweigh the risks they published a letter for all the world to see. They said that the American’s are socially biased and they cannot concur with their findings. That is a bombshell for people who try to justify this surgery on medical grounds. Since you also mention your Jewish you should know that one of the greatest thinkers of Jewish history, Maimonides said that circumcision is designed to remove as much pleasurable skin as possible to make men more “Moderate in regards to sexuality”. Also the reason the statue of David looks uncircumcised is because back in his day only the very tip of the foreskin was removed. It was a very small amount of tissue removed. After Jewish men during Roman times began “Foreskin restoration” to pass as gentile and avoid persecution, the Rabbis created Pariah circumcision which cuts all the way back to the sulcus of the glans removing 40-50% of the total penis skin. That does not sound like a little snip to me, One last note, I have three points for those people who argue that circumcision has not been proven to reduce male penile sensitivity. 1). After any teenager or adult man is circumcised he finds it massively uncomfortable to walk for the first month or two, as the head brushes against underwear causing intensely uncomfortable sensations that result in erections. Running is out of the question, even hot showers are avoided at the beginning. After a few weeks to months, the head becomes calloused over with thick Keratinized skin. Then the man cannot feel his underwear and he can run and take hot showers without discomfort. How is that not a loss of sensitivity a man may resent. Next, research this for yourself, but almost every womens magazine I have ever seen that speaks on sexual matters comments on the male Frenulum, “the male G-spot” or the “male clit”. You will also find this reference in pornography and in mens writings. The frenulum is the tissue on the underside of the penis directly under the head. About 50% of circumcised men have had this totally amputated and the rest have some form of damage to the structure. The only people I have ever heard deny that this is the most sensitive part of the penis and the “primary orgasmic trigger” are men who report it was totally amputated and some who’s frenulums are almost totally amputated. Once a man or women learns this fact and confirms it by speaking to their friends and family, they stop circumcising their babies, Jewish or not. With the advent of the global social network this information is no longer hidden to Americans and thus we see that circumcision will be as dead as a circumcised foreskin in the next generation or two, excluding the hard core religious. If an Ultra Orthodox Jew will not protect their children from a Rabbi Sucking the freshly circumcised penis to “cleanse” the wound with their saliva (it’s called Metzizah b’peh and several babies in NYC died recently from a Rabbi with Oral herpes spreading it to the babies) than nothing will. FYI the rabbi and the Ultra Orthodox Jewish community in New york did not try to stop the Rabbi from preforming this ritual, they instead fought the Health Department tooth and nail from forcing the rabbis to get parents to sign a consent form advising them of the risks of death and brain damage. Even after the Rabbi was ordered to stop by the city he was caught on tape advising people he would still do it, just not in the city. It became such a big issue the political candidates are questioned on in debates and it is becoming a political disaster for the Ultra Orthodox Community. More so for the dead babies though. Because of these things I cannot abide people who say “I had no doubt I would circumcise my son” In my opinion you did not spend one day really researching this issue, you did not look at both sides of the argument, and now you damaged your sons manhood for life. You now need to be one of those brave women in history who fights to end this nonsense. Don’t forget, the main argument the perverts in africa who like their women “clean” use is that it is “Our most sacred tradition”. I am certain that when the gentile community stops this practice, the Jews will continue unless we stop if ourselves from inside the tribe. One last tidbit of info. The man who brought circumcision to America, Dr. Harvery Kellogg (The cornflakes guy) stated that circumcising boys prevented masturbation by removing the pleasant parts of the penis. He also advised to not use any painkiller during the surgery so that it would have a salutory effect on the mind and associate the concept of punishment with the penis. Pretty sick, this is the father of circumcision in this country. He also advised painting the female cliorous with Carbolic acid to purify girls. All people need to educate themselves on this surgery. Doctors don’t typically recommend against it because they can make a huge amount of money over a career. A doctor might earn $200-300 per circ which takes 20 minutes. They also get to sell the foreskin to the Private companies that make skin graft material and the Cosmetics industry. They can make $500-1000 per foreskin. If they cut just ONE baby per week that can be over $50,000 a year. Now ask yourself how many babies per week do you think the average OB-GYN or Ped doc cuts a week. Maybe thats why we keep doing it. Once the profit is taken out of circumcision, the Doctors stop asking every women if they want their baby cut. Since all Doctors in this country say its fine to do it or not, why not wait and let the boy decide if he wants to have an amputation once he gets to know his body first. The reason is because no man in his right mind wants to be circumcised. Men who were spared are happy that they have the Personal choice to have it done or not. Did you know that less than 1% of intact men will ever require a medical circumcision. The reason some studies have shown that Intact boys might have a higher incident of UTI is because of the parents thinking they have to force the foreskin of a baby back to clean the head of the penis. In babies and young boys, the foreskin and the head of the penis are fused together by a membrane called the synchea. They are fused together like the Fingernail is the finger. By trying to force it back it causes tearing, bleeding, pain and scarring and that can cause a problem. Also this study did not find that the boys actually had a UTI, it just showed that it is harder to get a completely sterile urine specimine from an intact boy as from a circumcised boy. Makes sense right.