• Wed, Mar 13 2013

Anonymous Mom: An Open Letter To My Bipolar Husband

bipolar husbandAnonymous Mom is a weekly column of motherhood confessions, indiscretions, and parental shortcomings selected by Mommyish editors. Under this unanimous byline, readers can share their own stories, secrets, and moments of weakness with complete anonymity.

Dear Bipolar Husband,

I know you’re probably going to read this some day, so before I start, let me say that I’m not talking about leaving you. This isn’t an I-hate-my-husband letter. Just read it.

I wish you weren’t bipolar, but I also wish all of my womanly measurements fell neatly in the mid-30s. You’re never going to stop being bipolar, and I’m never going to be able to wear a bikini without looking like a lumpy loaf of white bread. That’s how I see your problem, as just another part of you. You look past my weight, even appreciate it at times, and I spend very little of my day worrying about the fact that you have a chemical imbalance. You watched all the gruesome and disgusting things that happened to my body when it pushed out your child. Why is it so bad that I see you sob?

You don’t scare me.

I’m the one who sees all of your episodes, all your freak-outs, and I’ve never once been afraid for myself or our daughter. You don’t get violent, you don’t act out. You’ve never struck me, shoved me or done any other kind of physical damage to yourself or others during your episodes. If you had thrown me down the stairs or something, we’d be having a very different conversation. But you don’t do things like that. You’ve never given me a reason to think or believe that you’re even capable of it.

You’re not crazy.

Crazy is being completely unpredictable, doing and acting out irrational things. Your actions, while not always rational, come with a clear set of warning signs. I can see your shifts in moods in colors, like a sunset on a clear day. What you don’t understand, though I’ve tried explaining it before, is that everyone goes through shifts in their moods. Everyone is hyper at times, somber at others. It’s just how we are. Your public exterior, the way you allow people to see you, is no different than everyone else.

No one knows you’re bipolar except your family.

You don’t go through big freak-outs in public. You don’t have meltdowns, and you don’t lose complete control. You worry that people hate you, or don’t trust you because you’re different. It’s not the fact that you’re bipolar that makes people not want to talk to you. It’s the fact that your social skills are terrible. The only reason people don’t want to talk to you is because you act like you don’t want to talk to them. The umbrella shaped like a samurai sword might also have something to do with that.

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  • Paul Kite

    I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is Dr Ogala he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 2 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is (ogalalovespell@gmail.com)

  • Gennifer Anderson

    Hi My name is Gennifer Anderson just want to share my experience with you on how i got my love back and saved my marriage, so that you can also get back your lover into your life okay. I was married for 7years with 2kids and we lived happily until think for those that need help contact dr.dodogods now email address dodogodssolution@yahoo.com

    Posted by:Gennifer Anderson

  • susan williams

    susan williams

    five weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. it all started when i went to summer camp i was trying to contact him but it was not going through. So when I came back from camp I saw him with a young lady kissing in his bed room, I was frustrated and it gives me sleepless night. i thought he come back to apologise but he did’t come for almost three week i was really hurt but i thank homeofsolveingproblems for all he did i met homeofsolveingproblems during my search at the internet i decided to contact him on his email homeofsolveingproblems@gmail.com he brought my boyfriend back to me just within 48 hours i am realy happy.

  • Steve’s wife

    I only wish my husband was this way. He is verbally abusive, aggressive, ill mannered and just down right hurtful. The thing that has always left me speechless is his double faced life. He works, is good at his job (cars) and is the most supportive rational person at work. The second he gets home it’s hell all night long. He either sits on the couch all night watching tv or he’s in my face over something. I’m always being accused of cheating, lying, stealing but the ironic part is those are the things I caught him red-handed doing. He is the “don’t ask, don’t tell”, unless of course it’s my business he is prying into, then I better tell all or else!! He takes his meds but only the ones he likes, does not go to therapy and has financially destroyed himself. I think the one thing that any bi-polar person needs to understand is this; You don’t have to become a prisoner of their illness. Just because they are sick does not mean you are bound to stay with them the rest of their life. You are entitled to happiness, love and freedom. Bi-polar affects your entire circle, your not the only one suffering from the horrible things you just said and ironically don’t remember saying now, your not the one worrying about coming home and walking on egg-shells to see what kind of mood your in. The person who is by your side is more affected than you will EVER know and you should never think for a second they will stay with you no matter what. We are all mentally ill to a degree.. get yourself help, stay on your meds. Yes, I’m bitter because after so many year of being by my husband, I’m throwing in the towel, I deserve better. I wish all affected by bi-polar the best as my entire life has changed (not all bad) because of it.

  • Sharon

    I am Sharon. I want to and appreciate ancient ijebude spell temple for bringing back my husband who left me and the kids for about four months within three days Dr Ijebu was able to bring him back to me.. i am very much grateful for restoring peace in my marital home i pray God give you the strength to help more people having similar problem like mine. for help or spells you can reach him on his email address: ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com………………….

  • Jay

    This letter made me cry.
    If people with AND without Bipolar Disorder could learn to accept it for what it is, the world would be a better place.
    Bipolar Disorder didn’t destroy my family…. Refusing to accept it for what it was did, however.

  • Emilly Thompson

    I am Emilly from U.K I want to give great appreciation to the great man named prophet Abayotor who helped me in getting back my love who left me for 3years within 48hours, after been scammed by some fake spell caster which made away with my money.i was watching my television when i saw a woman giving thanks to this great man for what he has done for her,although i have been scammed by so many spell caster but i still decided to contact him i told him everything that happened and he just laughed over it and told me that my love will be back within the next 24hours at first i was full of doubt until the next 48 hours i had a call by unknown number i did not even think if he would be my love the next thing i could hear on the phone was my love pleading and begging me to forgive him and he promised not to hurt me till the rest of his life. I was so surprised and at the same time i was filled with joy and happiness, i did not waste anytime in accepting him because that was what i have been looking for, after calling, in the next 2hours time he came to my house and still pleading and begging me to forgive him the must surprising thing was that he gave me access to his account and everything that he have, for me to know that he is not going to leave me for any reason. Now we are living happily than ever before. So i want to use this opportunity to let the world to know that there are people in this world sent from God to help people to get back there husband e.g people like Prophet Abayotor, sir you are a great man. In case you want to thank him for me or you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: ajamugashrine@gmail.com. Once again thank you very much sir.