I call the father of my children and boyfriend of seven years my “husband,” even though we aren’t married. It just seems easier that way. It feels a little weird when we stand there as a family and I introduce him as my “boyfriend.” Inevitably, people look at our child and I can almost hear them thinking, “so, is he the father?” I’m also currently eight months pregnant. “Boyfriend” confuses people.
It probably seems stupid. It is 2013 – there are plenty of different family dynamics out there. Not everyone with children is married. I realize this – it’s just starting to feel a little weird. It’s making me question some things about myself, namely, why the hell have I never been able to follow any conventional paths – ever?
I was never one of those young women who fantasized about marriage. I’m not saying women have to fantasize about marriage at all – but I think you get my drift. When friends were planning their weddings, I was always the one saying things like,Â Did you know that bridesmaids used to wear white so the evil spirits that visit brides on their wedding day would become confused and hopefully posses one of the bridesmaids instead of the bride? Isn’t that fucked up?Â
What is the point of a maid of honor? Or a ring bearer? Does anyone have any idea? Or are we all just blindly following traditions we know nothing about? Well, I know nothing about them. Maybe everyone else that has made a point of marrying the love-of-their-life does.
At this point, the general disinterest in the traditions of the ceremony have sort of evolved into a general disinterest in the institution itself. Mix that in with a healthy dose of my own feminist belief that marriages really only worked when women couldn’t leave – the post-woman’s movement escalation in divorce proves that – doesn’t it?
See – Â I’ve completely over-analyzed something I’ve always claimed to care nothing about. But now that I am about to have two children with this man, this seems a little ridiculous. If for nothing less than simplicity and the sake of legalities alone, we should really get married. Shouldn’t we?