Anonymous Mom is a weekly column of motherhood confessions, indiscretions, and parental shortcomings selected by Mommyish editors. Under this unanimous byline, readers can share their own stories, secrets, and moments of weakness with complete anonymity.
I have not changed my 11-month-old’s diaper in more than six weeks.
I consider this one of my all time greatest achievements in life. What mother of a non-toilet trained baby do you know has gotten away without changing a diaper for a day? Let alone weeks weeks? I’m not bragging that I haven’t changed a diaper. It’s just I’m in total shock that no one in my family has noticed. I’ve started to count the days until someone in my house finally says, “Hey, when is the last time YOU changed a diaper mom?”
I don’t even mind changing diapers. I prefer not to since my baby is now eating adult food, which means what comes out of him is adult-like (if you know what I mean.) You’re probably thinking, or hoping, I’m going to tell you how I’ve gotten away with this. I’m not quite sure myself, but I’ll share my story.
I work from home. My husband goes to an office. This baby is our fourth boy. We have three older boys, ages seven, nine, and 11. I have a part-time sitter who comes Mondays to Fridays for five hours a day to help out while I run my home business. So my day usually starts with my baby waking up when he hears the older kids get up.
I’ll say to one of the older children (who love their baby brother and are surprising skilled diaper changers) to go, “change your brother’s diaper, while I make you breakfast.” Either one of the boys, sometimes two, or sometimes all of them, will change his diaper. They love the baby in the mornings because that’s the time he gives the biggest smiles and is at his goofiest. They’ll bring him down, passing him off to me, and eat their breakfast. I’ll get the older kids off to school.
Then I’ll feed the baby. And by the time I’m done wiping him down and changing his outfit, the part-time sitter arrives. So I have a good few hours off diaper-duty during the day and then I pick up the older boys from school. When they get home, I’ll say something like, “I really have to run to the bathroom. Just change him and I’ll get you a snack.” (Boys will do anything, it seems, for food.)