Anonymous Mom: I Haven’t Changed My Baby’s Diaper In Over 6 Weeks

changing diapersAnonymous Mom is a weekly column of motherhood confessions, indiscretions, and parental shortcomings selected by Mommyish editors. Under this unanimous byline, readers can share their own stories, secrets, and moments of weakness with complete anonymity.

I have not changed my 11-month-old’s diaper in more than six weeks.

I consider this one of my all time greatest achievements in life. What mother of a non-toilet trained baby do you know has gotten away without changing a diaper for a day? Let alone weeks weeks? I’m not bragging that I haven’t changed a diaper. It’s just I’m in total shock that no one in my family has noticed. I’ve started to count the days until someone in my house finally says, “Hey, when is the last time YOU changed a diaper mom?”

I don’t even mind changing diapers. I prefer not to since my baby is now eating adult food, which means what comes out of him is adult-like (if you know what I mean.) You’re probably thinking, or hoping, I’m going to tell you how I’ve gotten away with this. I’m not quite sure myself, but I’ll share my story.

I work from home. My husband goes to an office. This baby is our fourth boy. We have three older boys, ages seven, nine, and 11. I have a part-time sitter who comes Mondays to Fridays for five hours a day to help out while I run my home business. So my day usually starts with my baby waking up when he hears the older kids get up.

I’ll say to one of the older children (who love their baby brother and are surprising skilled diaper changers) to go, “change your brother’s diaper, while I make you breakfast.” Either one of the boys, sometimes two, or sometimes all of them, will change his diaper. They love the baby in the mornings because that’s the time he gives the biggest smiles and is at his goofiest. They’ll bring him down, passing him off to me, and eat their breakfast. I’ll get the older kids off to school.

Then I’ll feed the baby. And by the time I’m done wiping him down and changing his outfit, the part-time sitter arrives. So I have a good few hours off diaper-duty during the day and then I pick up the older boys from school. When they get home, I’ll say something like, “I really have to run to the bathroom. Just change him and I’ll get you a snack.” (Boys will do anything, it seems, for food.)

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    • Yolimarkschick

      wow basically she just confessed to being a manipulative lazy cow.

    • Liane

      Not changing diapers? Fine. Guilt tripping your kids? No. Cut that shit out, its bad in the long run.

      • Kat

        Why, because it looks that way on Everybody Loves Raymond? My mom broke out the guilt my whole life, and like most other kids I know whose moms did the same, I’d just laugh because I recognized the tactic. Way too sensitive!

    • Brooke

      pssshhh, you people need to get off your high horse and join the rest of us commoners down here… I think this woman is a genius. If there is a woman out there who actually enjoys changing a diaper, I’d like to meet her. I try to get out of changing my kids’ diapers as much as I can… of course there’s not a few hours that go by without it being my turn.. (we play the, “whoever touched the babies last changes their diapers” game)… but if I could get away with six weeks of no diaper changing I would be in heaven. Who cares? Diaper changing isn’t a major bonding time. She isn’t requiring her other children to raise the baby… they are helping out, as they should… It’s not like they’re getting up with the baby in the middle of the night to take care of their baby brother… they’re changing a damn diaper. I changed plenty of them as the oldest of 4 kids. I was happy to do it. I felt like I was helping out my hard working parents who worked their asses off to make sure I had everything I needed and more… I babysat and changed many diapers… Don’t slam this mother for expecting her children to shoulder a little responsibility and help out. The father is gone from his kids all day long at work, so I’m sure that when he comes home, he doesn’t mind changing diapers. Get over it. She isn’t being negligent at all (and as a social worker, I could tell you all about the negligence of some parents)… I’m sure she’s an awesome mom, who just doesn’t like to change diapers. I hate bathtime. Hate it. It’s not fun. My bathroom gets soaked, I get soaked, it’s stressful to me… so that’s my husband’s job most of the time. My husband doesn’t like bedtime- doesn’t like to read, doesn’t like the teeth brushing, doesn’t like putting p.j.s on, etc… so that’s my job… and he probably hasn’t done that stuff in about a month. You going to jump all over him as well and call him a negligent father? Idiots…

      • Kat

        No, because I think that’s the issue in the first place. If this were an article by Anonymous Dad, they’d all think it was cute.

      • Just Saying

        I supported one of your previous posts and that remains so. However, this author was gleeful in dodging her responsibilities and bragging about her manipulation of others to do her job. It’s a far stretch but – negative manipulation and her attitude is the very platform where the neglect slides to abuse and you yourself see the end result of that, sadly. Don’t confuse her message as a cheeky way of dealing with a parenting style that on the surface, can read as funny but it’s really just a slippery slope.

    • Why

      Why is it parents think the oldest child has to help out so much ….if you can’t care for you children then maybe you should stop having them…..never in my wild dream would I let my 5 year old change my one yr old diaper it’s not her job it’s mine. We wanted to have two kids so its our job to bath,change,care for them…there’s thing I hate to do like change diaper but I still do because I wanted kids it come with having kids….if you can’t stand bathing changing dirty diaper deal with the crying,then don’t have kids period…it’s not the older child job or the sibling to picking up your slack , cause you are too lazy…. Yes they can help out but there’s a diifferent between helping out and being your slave.

    • http://www.facebook.com/toniaspencer Tonia Randolph Spencer

      Honestly.. As long as the baby’s butt isn’t burning with his own emesis… WHO CARES! My 9 year old has thrown away every diaper his 2 year old has ever had.. BIG DEAL?! Frankly I wish her luck!

      • JewelEyedGamerGirl

        Since when does vomit makes a baby’s butt burn?

      • http://www.facebook.com/kimberlyacarlisle Kimberly Carlisle

        Hahaha I was confused by that, too.

    • jane skye

      Sounds like child abuse and neglect. She should be arrested.

      • Isobel_A

        Are you actually insane? Seriously?

    • MysticIceWater

      Pure ingenuis! I love this woman!!! I never did think of this. (I have thought about how to get out of getting up with the kids but never this!)

    • http://www.facebook.com/michelle.gauthier.790 Michelle Gauthier

      She has 4 kids. Did she changed diapers on the other boys? If you don’t like diapers, then stop having kids. Will she get tired of feeding them too? Or bathing them? or how about loving them? This is the dumbest and laziest mom ever.

      • Isobel_A

        Did you even read the article? Sounds like she’s talking about a great partnership. She and her husband share looking after the kids, with each doing the bits they like. Sounds like a great way for kids to have happy parents. Babies are fed and put to bed by Mum, who loves doing it. Happy kids. Kids are changed and bathed by Dad, who loves doing it. Happy kids. Baby is also looked after by his brothers – fantastic. Those little boys are going to be responsible adults, and might actually be Dads who enjoy looking after their own children, too, instead of fobbing it off as ‘woman’s work’.

        I really don’t understand all the frothing at the mouth that people are doing about this. I suspect it’s stay at home Mums, who do nothing else, and can’t cope with any challenge to that.

      • Michelle Gauthier

        Becoming a parent means you share ALL of the work with the kids. ALL of it.

      • Just Saying

        Did YOU read the article? She’s bragging about manipulating situations to where she has not issued the bare bottom (sorry for the pun) of care to this little one and is impressed how easily she shoved it off onto others. Disgusting. She should never have been given that 5th child.

    • tiffany

      this was retarded. i thought the title implied that baby aint actually been changed in 6 weeks.

    • http://www.facebook.com/bettyej Bettye Jackson

      No, this is not funny bitch. You shouldn’t have had those kids if you wasn’t going to change diapers for all of them. Your part time help and your family are being used by your sorry behind, and if you don’t like changing diaper bitch, potty train your child if you can get off of that sorry lazy behind of your’s.

      • Leigha7

        Yes, how dare her husband (who helped make the baby) and the babysitter she PAYS to take care of her baby while she works be expected to change diapers. It’s just downright awful for a father and paid baby-sitter to have to do such a thing.

        You can argue against the older kids having to do it if you like. That’s pretty much just a matter of opinion. But if you’re honestly saying the baby’s father shouldn’t be changing diapers, or that it’s inappropriate to expect a paid baby-sitter to do it, then…well…that’s just idiotic.

    • http://www.facebook.com/bettyej Bettye Jackson

      I hate sorry asses bitches that try to be funny.

      • Kat

        I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but in that case, this isn’t the site for you. Half of the material on this site is exactly that, “bitches that try to be funny.” It’s kind of the point. Half your comments refer to “this bitch” and “that bitch” though, so I’d be willing to bet you’re not one of “those bitches” who laughs a whole lot…

    • http://www.facebook.com/bettyej Bettye Jackson

      By the way bitch, those kids didn’t ask to be born and are not your slaves.

      • Isobel_A

        Wow, venom girl! Sounds like a great family, to me, where the kids get looked after, played with, cooked for and made snacks, and help out in return. Great way of teaching kids responsibility. Or are you one of these people whose sons will grow up without knowing how to even make their own bed?

    • MsLady

      ROTFL this is TOO cute! I totally feel you about the adult food=rancid diaper thing. I’d try this, but my only other child is my son, who’s soon to be 14. She’s a girl, he’s a boy. He doesn’t do diapers. The hubby does them when he can. He does MOST of the diapering now at this age. I have a little bit of help around the house, but my daughter is old enough to CHOOSE who she wants to change her diaper, and it’s usually me. I wiggle out of it sometimes, usually by taking my own bathroom break, but now she just follows me in, sits on the potty with her pants up, and waits till I finish. Yep, I’m trapped in diaper hell. Recently she ‘quit’ diapers and will only wear Easy-Ups, since she doesn’t like to lay down to be changed anymore. But soon, I will be able to say I haven’t changed a diaper in 2 months: we’re going to master potty training, or all my hair will just fall out.

    • MsLady

      PSA: a public forum isn’t the place to vent your bitterness. So your childhood was horrible. Take that to the child abuse message board. React to the story or go away.

    • GeneralGwok

      The most stupid and useless article ever, regardless of tongue in cheekness or not. What a waste of my 1 minute. Just senselessly stupid, and hardly funny at all.

    • http://www.facebook.com/toni.narron ‘Toni Narron

      to the folks getting all bent out of shape about this….i suspect this mom may have embellished her story for the sake of a laugh. even if she didn’t exaggerate her story, i see no issue, she’s just trading chore for chore. she makes a snack for one kid while that kid does a chore for her. you scratch my back and i’ll scratch yours. she does dinner while hubby changes the diaper. no biggie. get over yourselves, people. seriously.

    • Ggv

      I love how you have your older kids change diapers

    • http://maitribathbody.com/ Maitri

      This doesn’t bother me at all. What’s the big deal? http://maitribathbody.com

    • Kat

      If there is one mom here who doesn’t wish she could snap her fingers and never have to change a diaper again, say so so I can LMAO at your lies. I can’t believe there are moms who are so haughty… Just lighten up!

    • BOO

      this Is great!

    • linda

      I am the mom of a bedwetting 14 year old daughter and feel guilty because i use cloth diapers and rubber pants on her at bed time and like putting them on her and having her in them at night.i dont know why i like her wearing them and have wondered if i am doing the right thing.she is a very girly girl and i feel the diapers and rubber pants make her feel like a baby again which i love.she doesnt mind the diapers and rubberpants or me putting them on her.but i just cant get over the feeling that she is like a baby all over again.She just received her sacrement of confirmation on may 19th and had to wear the white poofy dress.veil,tights and shoes.i went so far as to put one of her cloth diapers and rubber pants on her when i dressed her to wear under her tights so she would feel babyish in her white outfit.again,i felt guilty knowing she had them on walking down the aisle with her clasmates.how can i get over this?

      • Just Saying

        None of us want to see our kids get grown up and leave – but this could be a medical issue and it’s important for her to have a physical exam. A 14 year old having the inability to control her bladder could have terrible consequences on her psyche. Sleepovers certainly have begun – life is hard enough without being excluded and for sure she does not want the knowledge of why she’s not attending to become public. Please let her pediatrician know what’s happening for some support. Good luck,

    • Roxy

      I understand the humor she finds in not changing a diaper.. but its not really an appropriate job to have your kids changing your babys diaper all the time.. I mean my 10 year old used to think it was fun to “help” when his little brothers were newborn… but I have never manipulated him to change them.. I understand the sitter and husband changing and making sure they are clean before the sitter leaves (as that’s her job).. imagine people not washing good or cleaning the poop off the baby very well.. next thing you know the baby has a rash, and all your kids have hand foot and mouth disease or any number of things people can get from ingesting feces. just food for thought…

    • Ang

      Taking care of children is not a child’s job. Don’t want to change diapers? Don’t want to feed? Don’t have another child. I don’t find this cute at all. I’m not freaking out, could be worse, but I would be embarrassed to admit something like this. And what is part time about a sitter 5 hours a day 5 days a week?

      • Leigha7

        “And what is part time about a sitter 5 hours a day 5 days a week?”

        She works from home. The sitter is there so that she can actually get work done, instead of trying to squeeze it in while the baby is napping. There is no legitimate reason why anyone should have a problem with this fact.

        Five hours a day is “part time” because “full time” work is 8 hours a day. If the mother had a full time job away from home, the sitter would be there for 8 hours (plus travel time), give or take a couple hours if the father has a different schedule.

    • Alicia McCullough

      I have a confession to make… I know this is an old post but I too have not changed a diaper in over 6 weeks. No one has even noticed. I have 4 kids and my husband and daughter have been taking turns changing the youngest. She wants to be a wife and mother when she grows up so she keeps trying to “steal” her baby sister. lol I told her college first husband and kids second.

    • Guest

      ok so we are sayin gill have the older kids and the nanny raise my kid…. nice job!

    • terry larkin

      ok so we are sayin I will just have my older kids and nanny raise the baby!!! nice job! gold star too you

    • AmazingE

      I read the article and chuckled a bit. Then I read the comments and laughed so hard I wet myself. Anon mom is a genius if you ask me, and if I thought I could pull this off in my house, I totally would. Just for fun. Does that make me a horrible person? Probably not, but looking at some of the other comments, you’d think I just said I kick puppies in my spare time.

      That being said, I experienced real abuse in my childhood, and what this woman admits to doing doesn’t even come close to what I experienced growing up. All the commenters calling her abusive and manipulative really need to take a step back and maybe do some Googling (or read through comments on other Anon Mom entries), and get some fucking perspective. “I gave you life” doesn’t sound much different to me than “because i’m your mother, that’s why”. It’s not like she’s threatening the kids with some kind of horrible punishment if they don’t help out a little, and for the most part it seems like the husband and kids are more than happy to help out. To me it seems like a fair trade, you change a diaper, i’ll make you a snack for example.

      In short, cut Anon mom some slack negative commenters. Oh, and BlueAthena I think I love you.

    • Just Saying

      This is possibly one of the best candidates for infertility I have ever heard of.

    • Just Saying

      Some people were never meant to have children. Author’s tone not funny nor written in jest if you really listen to her. Frankly, I’m made ill by her comments.

    • Lindy Gregory

      i dont care what anyone says. this mother is pathetic.

    • Erin Tarpley

      My mother did this to us when we were kids, only she never had an excuse (I’m doing x, y or z will you change the baby) it was just go change your brother or sister. And I resented it so saying it’s the siblings job is BS. It is not their job to care for a baby that isn’t theirs.

    • Jen

      Ok, I am a mother of five and I have to say that I love this story. It is so funny. The ladies that are on here saying how awful it is that the siblings are helping take care of a baby, clearly haven’t had more than one or two children. Thank goodness my younger boys are finally potty trained, but I can say that I have found that there are things that I like to do when it comes to the kids that my husband doesnt like, and things that he does enjoy doing. If you ask me its no different than doing a chore around ( I know that may sound bad, but let me explain before you get all bent out of shape) I hate folding clothes, my husband doesnt, so I will wash and dry the clothes and he will fold them, I will do the dishes, and he will eat the food off of them lol.

    • REL

      When I first read the title of this I thought no one had changed the baby’s diaper in 6 weeks so we should at least all be happy that’s not the case hahaha

    • Senaida Gonzales Zamora

      Its ok for the siblings to help,to a certain extent,some mothers will take advantage and have the sibling do absolutely everything which is not right,I have 4 children and two out of four help me with the 4th one,THEY HELP ME,its not solely their responsibility its mine and my husbands as well…yes im tired my husbands tired my kids are tired but we all gotta be there for eachother equally,but thats how I do in my home

    • liz4

      If you are looking for ways to get out of parts of caring for your child it’s time to be done having kids.

    • Joe

      Having older kids changing diapers is fine especially the stinky ones it helps them practice babysitting like at my house I haven’t 14 year old 11 year old 8 year old 4 year old 2 year old twins and a 7 month old all boys and the younger 4 are in diapers and I have the older 3 change quite a bit of diapers each for practicing babysitting and they don’t mind it so they like it it’s good for them to know

    • BW2

      This was written by Rebecca Eckler! Even under Anonymous Mom it still received tons of comments.