• Thu, Mar 7 - 10:58 am ET

Anonymous Mom: I Haven’t Changed My Baby’s Diaper In Over 6 Weeks

changing diapersAnonymous Mom is a weekly column of motherhood confessions, indiscretions, and parental shortcomings selected by Mommyish editors. Under this unanimous byline, readers can share their own stories, secrets, and moments of weakness with complete anonymity.

I have not changed my 11-month-old’s diaper in more than six weeks.

I consider this one of my all time greatest achievements in life. What mother of a non-toilet trained baby do you know has gotten away without changing a diaper for a day? Let alone weeks weeks? I’m not bragging that I haven’t changed a diaper. It’s just I’m in total shock that no one in my family has noticed. I’ve started to count the days until someone in my house finally says, “Hey, when is the last time YOU changed a diaper mom?”

I don’t even mind changing diapers. I prefer not to since my baby is now eating adult food, which means what comes out of him is adult-like (if you know what I mean.) You’re probably thinking, or hoping, I’m going to tell you how I’ve gotten away with this. I’m not quite sure myself, but I’ll share my story.

I work from home. My husband goes to an office. This baby is our fourth boy. We have three older boys, ages seven, nine, and 11. I have a part-time sitter who comes Mondays to Fridays for five hours a day to help out while I run my home business. So my day usually starts with my baby waking up when he hears the older kids get up.

I’ll say to one of the older children (who love their baby brother and are surprising skilled diaper changers) to go, “change your brother’s diaper, while I make you breakfast.” Either one of the boys, sometimes two, or sometimes all of them, will change his diaper. They love the baby in the mornings because that’s the time he gives the biggest smiles and is at his goofiest. They’ll bring him down, passing him off to me, and eat their breakfast. I’ll get the older kids off to school.

Then I’ll feed the baby. And by the time I’m done wiping him down and changing his outfit, the part-time sitter arrives. So I have a good few hours off diaper-duty during the day and then I pick up the older boys from school. When they get home, I’ll say something like, “I really have to run to the bathroom. Just change him and I’ll get you a snack.” (Boys will do anything, it seems, for food.)

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  • Yolimarkschick

    wow basically she just confessed to being a manipulative lazy cow.

  • Liane

    Not changing diapers? Fine. Guilt tripping your kids? No. Cut that shit out, its bad in the long run.

    • Kat

      Why, because it looks that way on Everybody Loves Raymond? My mom broke out the guilt my whole life, and like most other kids I know whose moms did the same, I’d just laugh because I recognized the tactic. Way too sensitive!

  • Brooke

    pssshhh, you people need to get off your high horse and join the rest of us commoners down here… I think this woman is a genius. If there is a woman out there who actually enjoys changing a diaper, I’d like to meet her. I try to get out of changing my kids’ diapers as much as I can… of course there’s not a few hours that go by without it being my turn.. (we play the, “whoever touched the babies last changes their diapers” game)… but if I could get away with six weeks of no diaper changing I would be in heaven. Who cares? Diaper changing isn’t a major bonding time. She isn’t requiring her other children to raise the baby… they are helping out, as they should… It’s not like they’re getting up with the baby in the middle of the night to take care of their baby brother… they’re changing a damn diaper. I changed plenty of them as the oldest of 4 kids. I was happy to do it. I felt like I was helping out my hard working parents who worked their asses off to make sure I had everything I needed and more… I babysat and changed many diapers… Don’t slam this mother for expecting her children to shoulder a little responsibility and help out. The father is gone from his kids all day long at work, so I’m sure that when he comes home, he doesn’t mind changing diapers. Get over it. She isn’t being negligent at all (and as a social worker, I could tell you all about the negligence of some parents)… I’m sure she’s an awesome mom, who just doesn’t like to change diapers. I hate bathtime. Hate it. It’s not fun. My bathroom gets soaked, I get soaked, it’s stressful to me… so that’s my husband’s job most of the time. My husband doesn’t like bedtime- doesn’t like to read, doesn’t like the teeth brushing, doesn’t like putting p.j.s on, etc… so that’s my job… and he probably hasn’t done that stuff in about a month. You going to jump all over him as well and call him a negligent father? Idiots…

    • Kat

      No, because I think that’s the issue in the first place. If this were an article by Anonymous Dad, they’d all think it was cute.

  • Why

    Why is it parents think the oldest child has to help out so much ….if you can’t care for you children then maybe you should stop having them…..never in my wild dream would I let my 5 year old change my one yr old diaper it’s not her job it’s mine. We wanted to have two kids so its our job to bath,change,care for them…there’s thing I hate to do like change diaper but I still do because I wanted kids it come with having kids….if you can’t stand bathing changing dirty diaper deal with the crying,then don’t have kids period…it’s not the older child job or the sibling to picking up your slack , cause you are too lazy…. Yes they can help out but there’s a diifferent between helping out and being your slave.

  • http://www.facebook.com/toniaspencer Tonia Randolph Spencer

    Honestly.. As long as the baby’s butt isn’t burning with his own emesis… WHO CARES! My 9 year old has thrown away every diaper his 2 year old has ever had.. BIG DEAL?! Frankly I wish her luck!

    • JewelEyedGamerGirl

      Since when does vomit makes a baby’s butt burn?

    • http://www.facebook.com/kimberlyacarlisle Kimberly Carlisle

      Hahaha I was confused by that, too.

  • jane skye

    Sounds like child abuse and neglect. She should be arrested.

    • Isobel_A

      Are you actually insane? Seriously?

  • MysticIceWater

    Pure ingenuis! I love this woman!!! I never did think of this. (I have thought about how to get out of getting up with the kids but never this!)

  • http://www.facebook.com/michelle.gauthier.790 Michelle Gauthier

    She has 4 kids. Did she changed diapers on the other boys? If you don’t like diapers, then stop having kids. Will she get tired of feeding them too? Or bathing them? or how about loving them? This is the dumbest and laziest mom ever.

    • Isobel_A

      Did you even read the article? Sounds like she’s talking about a great partnership. She and her husband share looking after the kids, with each doing the bits they like. Sounds like a great way for kids to have happy parents. Babies are fed and put to bed by Mum, who loves doing it. Happy kids. Kids are changed and bathed by Dad, who loves doing it. Happy kids. Baby is also looked after by his brothers – fantastic. Those little boys are going to be responsible adults, and might actually be Dads who enjoy looking after their own children, too, instead of fobbing it off as ‘woman’s work’.

      I really don’t understand all the frothing at the mouth that people are doing about this. I suspect it’s stay at home Mums, who do nothing else, and can’t cope with any challenge to that.

    • Michelle Gauthier

      Becoming a parent means you share ALL of the work with the kids. ALL of it.

  • tiffany

    this was retarded. i thought the title implied that baby aint actually been changed in 6 weeks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bettyej Bettye Jackson

    No, this is not funny bitch. You shouldn’t have had those kids if you wasn’t going to change diapers for all of them. Your part time help and your family are being used by your sorry behind, and if you don’t like changing diaper bitch, potty train your child if you can get off of that sorry lazy behind of your’s.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bettyej Bettye Jackson

    I hate sorry asses bitches that try to be funny.

    • Kat

      I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but in that case, this isn’t the site for you. Half of the material on this site is exactly that, “bitches that try to be funny.” It’s kind of the point. Half your comments refer to “this bitch” and “that bitch” though, so I’d be willing to bet you’re not one of “those bitches” who laughs a whole lot…

  • http://www.facebook.com/bettyej Bettye Jackson

    By the way bitch, those kids didn’t ask to be born and are not your slaves.

    • Isobel_A

      Wow, venom girl! Sounds like a great family, to me, where the kids get looked after, played with, cooked for and made snacks, and help out in return. Great way of teaching kids responsibility. Or are you one of these people whose sons will grow up without knowing how to even make their own bed?

  • MsLady

    ROTFL this is TOO cute! I totally feel you about the adult food=rancid diaper thing. I’d try this, but my only other child is my son, who’s soon to be 14. She’s a girl, he’s a boy. He doesn’t do diapers. The hubby does them when he can. He does MOST of the diapering now at this age. I have a little bit of help around the house, but my daughter is old enough to CHOOSE who she wants to change her diaper, and it’s usually me. I wiggle out of it sometimes, usually by taking my own bathroom break, but now she just follows me in, sits on the potty with her pants up, and waits till I finish. Yep, I’m trapped in diaper hell. Recently she ‘quit’ diapers and will only wear Easy-Ups, since she doesn’t like to lay down to be changed anymore. But soon, I will be able to say I haven’t changed a diaper in 2 months: we’re going to master potty training, or all my hair will just fall out.

  • MsLady

    PSA: a public forum isn’t the place to vent your bitterness. So your childhood was horrible. Take that to the child abuse message board. React to the story or go away.

  • GeneralGwok

    The most stupid and useless article ever, regardless of tongue in cheekness or not. What a waste of my 1 minute. Just senselessly stupid, and hardly funny at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/toni.narron ‘Toni Narron

    to the folks getting all bent out of shape about this….i suspect this mom may have embellished her story for the sake of a laugh. even if she didn’t exaggerate her story, i see no issue, she’s just trading chore for chore. she makes a snack for one kid while that kid does a chore for her. you scratch my back and i’ll scratch yours. she does dinner while hubby changes the diaper. no biggie. get over yourselves, people. seriously.

  • Ggv

    I love how you have your older kids change diapers

  • http://maitribathbody.com/ Maitri

    This doesn’t bother me at all. What’s the big deal? http://maitribathbody.com

  • Kat

    If there is one mom here who doesn’t wish she could snap her fingers and never have to change a diaper again, say so so I can LMAO at your lies. I can’t believe there are moms who are so haughty… Just lighten up!

  • BOO

    this Is great!

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