• Sat, Mar 2 - 11:00 am ET

You’re Not Alone: New Study Says Most Moms Wait More Than Six Weeks To Have Sex After Birth

shutterstock_127549448An Australian study that claims a majority of women wait more than six weeks to have sex after birth doesn’t surprise me at all. Sex was the last thing on my mind after I gave birth to my child. Now I know I’m not alone.

The study periodically surveyed 1,507 first-time mothers living in Melbourne, Australia about their sexual activity within the first year after childbirth.

Overall, 41 percent said they had resumed vaginal sex within 6 weeks after delivering their baby, 65 percent by eight weeks, 78 percent by 12 weeks and 94 percent by 6 months.

I can’t even tell you how many friends made a comment on how “long” I’d have to wait to have sex and what a bummer it was. When friends who hadn’t had children said it, I just thought, “I don’t want to ruin anything for these future moms by telling them I have zero interest in sex right now.” When friends who had children said it, I just thought, “What? Did you seriously have a hard time waiting?”

I was recovering from a c-section. I was uncomfortable. I was exhausted from trying to nurse a new baby every hour and a half. The last thing I wanted was to be touched by anyone. God forbid my husband wanted to go near my boobs. No way. Knowing that the majority of mothers in the study didn’t resume sexual activity by six weeks makes me feel a little better about the whole situation.

Breast-milk stained shirts, dark circles under my eyes – after the birth of my first child, I wasn’t feeling like a sex kitten by any stretch of the imagination. My body looked and felt different than it ever had. I always thought stories of people having sex in the delivery room after they had given birth were urban legends. They’re not! Maybe this time around I’ll be a little more prepared for the way I am going to feel after birth. Maybe I will feel totally different and be ready to get my groove back quicker. Whatever happens, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who may be struggling a little bit.

(photo: maxriesgo/ Shutterstock.com)

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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  • http://www.facebook.com/paul.white.3532507 Paul White

    one of the few times I wished I didn’t use my real name here…
    My wife was amazingly sexually aggressive during that time frame. It actually caught me by surprise because I’d figured sex would be the last thing on her mind for a while, but by the end of week 4? No, not last thing on her mind.

    • http://twitter.com/ptownstevesgirl Ptownsteveschick

      Not unusual from what I have heard and experienced myself. Something about seeing my man being such an amazing dad did crazy things for my libido, and we had a hard time waiting the 6 weeks, even though it was scary and still healing at the 6 week mark, we got the ok and I couldn’t wait. I think every woman’s experience is different and just fine.

  • Andrea

    You are not alone.

    My husband was chomping at the bit and I seriously (SERIOUSLY!) consider lying to him after the 6 week check-up and telling him the doc had said I needed a few more weeks. I was so tired, so stressed, and so not-feeling-myself that I couldn’t fathom it.

    In the end I talked to him about it and he (sorta) understood and didn’t push it, but I could tell he wasn’t happy. By far the roughest time in our marriage. I had to actually brace myself and do it and it took a little while, but the feelings came back. It really is like riding a bicycle!

  • Blooming_Babies

    My husband was more than understanding but my midwife offered to tell him that we had to wait so I assume a lot of guys just don’t get it. Everything downstairs is different after a vaginal delivery and after a c-section I can’t even imagine. Plus the exhaustion and all the crazy hormones… wow not surprised that a lot of ladies want to wait.

  • Bee

    Vaginal sex would indeed be out of the question for that time-frame but anal still works. It works wonders!

    • Pam

      Stay out of your wife’s anus. That is not fair to her. She doesn’t get a dang thing out of that repulsive act!!

  • Anonymous

    My husband and I tried at the six week mark. Not only are you tired with leaky boobs and spongy post-baby belly, but my experience was that the first few times, sex hurt. There’s really no other way to put that. But good news: it gets better!

  • marla

    Thank you Doctor Deva for your help because since i have been married to my husband i have not be able to get my own kid and my mother in law wants me out of the house because she think i can’t give bath to a baby but since you cast a spell for me and it been five months now since you cast a spell for me and i started seeing changes in me i and my husband are now happy now and we are expecting our baby by June i am very grateful for your help doctor Deva Email: lakshmantemple@gmail.com you are more than just a father to me…

  • Pam(wildcat fan)

    This healing time that women need for their vaginas and uterus, is not about the husband. Plus, the wife is already stressed for all the children and household duties that are on their shoulders. 3/6/13
    The reasons that doctors tell women to wait, is for optimal healing. If a man is that primal that he cannot wait 6 weeks, what would he do if he was stranded on a deserted island, alone, for a year? Listen ladies, after your husband, has his penis surgery, I’ll bet he will not let you touch him anywhere near the area. And we would be okay with waiting, Well, by the same token, women/wives need to put themselves first, for a change. And childbirth, the flu and other body trauma times, should not be times to give in to his egotistical demands.

  • Blueathena623

    At 6 weeks we were both so exhausted that we didn’t care. I think it was around 14 weeks that we found a spare minute and got it on. Nothing says sexy like keeping an ear out for a baby monitor.