Babies-in-BloomWhen I was a child I had a friend whose mother collected baby dolls. There were a ton of them, all lined up in her living room. They were all decked out in Victorian-looking clothes and had that real-looking baby doll hair. They scared the shit out of me. But they had nothing on these undead reborn baby dolls.

I still hate baby dolls, but I’m not quite sure why. I can’t really explain the unreasonable part of my mind that truly believes if I owned one of these it would awaken in the night and try to eat my flesh. My nightmares have come to fruition – sort of. As if the traditional baby doll wasn’t scary enough, the Twisted Beanstalk Nursery now makes a zombie variety. I may never sleep again.

They’re not called “baby dolls” anymore. They’re called “reborns.” How freaky is that? I never understood the obsession with these life-life dolls. Dare I say it’s a totally creepy habit to have? I hate to be judgemental – oh who am I kidding, I love being judgemental. I can’t help but think collecting “reborns” is the weirdest hobby ever. Well, it was the weirdest hobby ever. Until these zombie-variety reborns were invented. These definitely take the cake.

When Lexi Friberg saw her baby for the first time, it was love at first sight.

“The eyes, glowing and without a pupil, really captured that vacant, infected feel for me. But the happy, smiling face juxtaposed with the black sludge coming from her mouth is what really stole my heart.”

Um, what? These dolls are for serious collectors. They range in price from $650 to upwards of $5,000. And I thought my shoe-obsession was pricey. Some of these little dolls cost more than pretty much anything I own. Bean Shanine, owner of The Twisted Beanstalk Nursery in Bellingham, Washington told Today Moms,

“I never in a million years thought I would be making reborns, and especially monster reborns. I don’t even LIKE monster things!” says Bean, who is surprisingly bubbly for someone who spends her day recreating undead babies. “After I made my friend her doll, I decided to make another with zombie eyes, just for fun. I listed it on eBay for $125 and it sold within 10 minutes. I couldn’t believe it.”

Either can I Bean – either can I. I do love your entrepreneurial spirit, but no way in hell will I be buying one of these anytime soon.

No way in hell.

(photo: thetwistedbeanstalknursery.com)