This is just my opinion, but it seems to me the idea of planning out the conception of a child to be born exactly nine months from that over-romanticized Hallmark holiday known as Valentine’s day just so you can get a free crib from Ikea seems like a lot of work. Not only because it involves sex, but also because then it involves actually going to IKEA, finding a damn parking spot, presenting the free crib coupon and the baby birth certificate, and then lugging that shit home and actually putting it together. This idea just makes me exhausted. But if you live in Australia and you just happened to include sexytime in your Valentine’s day celebration and someone put a baby inside of you, IKEA will give you a free crib. From The Daily Mail:
And for Australians who can plan their baby’s birth with forensic precision, help is at hand… in the unlikely form of furniture giant IKEA.
The Swedish homeware emporium is offering the nation’s most efficient parents-to-be a free cot, just so long as their baby arrives nine months to the day from Valentine’s Day.
It will gift a $99 Sniglar cradle to any family able to prove their newborn entered the world on November 14 later this year.
The special promotion was advertised in Australian newspapers yesterday next to a cut-out coupon and a picture of the cradle beside the words: ‘FREE for babies born nine months from today.
Parents will have to keep the coupon safe until November and present it to IKEA alongside a ‘proof of birth’ in order to claim their baby prize.
Don’t get me wrong, I love IKEA for many reasons, the children’s furniture holds up really well, they always have great basic items like candles and picture frames, the meatballs.. but this seems like the sort of promotion that would just be a happy accident, and not anything people will actually do. On purpose. To get a free $99 crib. Because having a newborn is stressful enough without having to put together a baby crib that will just come with some weird drawings, no written instructions, an Allen wrench, and probably a missing screw.