In the first couple months after giving birth, D-List celebrities of every form rush to morning shows so that they can capitalize on the birth story. Actresses, models, musicians, and all other entertainment industry fixtures sit down with Savannah Guthrie or Katie Couric and they talk about whether they had an epidural and how much it hurt and how their partner handled the pressure. It’s a celeb mom rite of passage.
But after a couple months, those old epidural and Lamaze stories get a little tired. The interviewers stop calling. And you have to come up with some new, interesting details to share so that the public doesn’t get bored with the same old, “Hey, I pushed a baby out,” story.
This is the only explanation I have for why Snooki told Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan that she had to get three stitches after ripping during childbirth. The reality star, who has to be desperate for attention, was visiting Live with Kelly and Michael with her reality bestie, JWoww, in tow. That’s when she confided that her biggest concern during childbirth was whether or not her vagina would tear.
When Kelly asked the invariable follow-up question, Snooks admitted that she had ripped and that she got three stitches. Of course, JWoww joked that she “only needed two, but she wanted an extra one.”
If Snooki is out there reading this, I’d like to let her know that tearing during childbirth is pretty normal. I’m not sure exactly how normal because, well, most people don’t talk about it all that much. It’s not a factoid that we throw out there along with the baby’s height and weight. But I’m pretty sure that stitches are fairly common and normally not a huge deal. Then again, having a child is something that lots of women do everyday, and yet we continue to obsess over the details of some births specifically because the mothers have appeared in movies or television shows.
But really, when it comes to stitches or episiotomies, can’t we just agree to label these things as a little bit of TMI, especially over our morning coffee? Do the public really need have a conversation about the stitches on your vagina? Let’s leave just a few small things a mystery. The world will thank you for it.