Some day a decade from now, my daughter is going to be mad at me for listening to loud music in my mini-van or showing up to a high school sporting event in my frumpy mom gear, and she’s going to tell me, “You’re the most embarrassing mom on the planet.” When that happens, I’m going to pull out Madonna‘s new Instagram account to prove my daughter wrong. I’m going to point to this 54-year-old mother-of-four flashing pictures of sweaty cleavage to millions of people and say, “It could be worse, dear.”
Yes, Madonna has joined Instagram. She’s the newest celebrity who will be showing you pictures of her meals and pets and pre-make-up visage. I’m sure everyone is sooo excited.
But Madonna’s Instagram account seems to cement a theory that I’ve been tossing around for a while now. This lady has to be the most embarrassing mom ever. From the trying-so-hard-to-be-controversial MDNA Tour, with it’s public nudity and Nazi imagery in Israel, to the public slights thrown out to Madonna’s oldest daughter Lourdes, the Material Girl sounds like a teen’s worst nightmare. No wonder Lourdes is already moving out into her own apartment at the ripe old age of 16.
Now, the first three pictures Madge has shared with the world of social media include two close-up shots of the woman’s cleavage and a third that’s trying so hard to be funny that it’s a little painful to watch. Madonna’s whole shtick is that she’s an exhibitionist, which cannot be all that comfortable for children to see from their mother. All that, “Look at me! Look at me!” just has to get tiring.
Maybe Lourdes and her siblings will luck out. Maybe their mother will tire of her social media exploration faster than a concert costume change. But I have a feeling that the Queen of Pop was just made for social media overexposure. I have a feeling that we’ll all be seeing a lot more of Madge’s sweaty cleavage.