You Lied About Blizzard Sex So Now I Won’t Have To Write About Babies Named ‘Nemo’ In Nine Months

shutterstock_722823Whenever there is a gigantic storm people always joke about how bored they will be, and when people are bored, they screw like bunnies because they don’t have power and can’t watch old Netflix episodes of Scandal (Just started it. So good, you guys!) or check Twitter to see who is eating what so they have sex instead. But according to very important people in very important places, this is all just a myth and none of you had sex when you were snowed in. From CT

“I think it’s a tall tale,” said Mark Mather, a demographer with the Population Reference Bureau, a Washington, D.C.-based non-profit that researches population trends. He said there’s no hard evidence to suggest a spike in births nine months following an isolated event like a snow storm.

In fact, in 1970, the late J. Richard Udry, a demographic researcher from the University of North Carolina, did a study debunking the idea.

Udry looked at the birth rate in New York following the 1965 blackout in that city, and found nothing above average.

See, I always thought this was true and due to the fact there would be nothing else to do that people would have sex. But no, instead you were all organizing your desks and playing board games and possibly tweeting pictures of your cat (Koa.)

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I hope at the very least you were all eating amazing snacks or something, because if you weren’t getting knocked up we can then name the three pounds you gained over the weekend “Nemo.” I may not have heard about anyone trying to conceive over the weekend but I sure did hear about a lot of parents trying to entertain their kids when they were trapped inside, and even though NYC got only around 12 inches people in parts of Connecticut received 34 inches. Worrying about people without power and trapped in cars sure doesn’t do a lot for one’s libido. But if you were having sex and hoping to get pregnant during the storm feel free to post me a comment here and don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone or anything. It will just be between you and me and a thousand other readers.

(photo: Dainis Derics/shutterstock)

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    • CrazyFor Kate

      I’d bet a lot of people were kept apart by the storm too. My boyfriend was stuck on the other side of town, so conceiving a baby during the storm would have been pretty much miraculous. But, well…there’s a reason the prairie provinces have a higher birthrate in Canada! The nastier the winter – I’m not going to finish that sentence.

    • ap

      People might have had sex during the storm, but it probably wouldn’t result in babies. Storms don’t render birth control methods ineffective, so most people who had storm sex had safe, protected sex. I’m sure there is a small minority who wasn’t able to refill pills or buy condoms due to roads being closed, but they are likely a very small minority.