• Thu, Feb 7 - 4:39 pm ET

Look At This Publicist Trying To Bait Me With A Childless Woman’s ‘Parenting Book’

childless parenting adviceI’d just like you all to see what made it’s way into my inbox today. It’s the press release for the next big parenting controversy. It even name-checks one of the last big parenting controversies, just so you know that it’s serious.

Step Aside Tiger Mom…

New Book, A Childless Woman’s Guide to Raising Children,

Provides Uncalled for Advice and Sassy Humor to Help Parents

Rein In Their Kids Before They Take Over the Planet!

That’s right, parents! This sassy, childless lady is going to step in and tell you all what you’re doing wrong. She’s going to rein in your kids, because those little brats are out of control. (The book really does include a “Brat Bans” section, where author Ageleke Zapis tells parents all of the places they shouldn’t take their kids.)

This press release was trying so hard to get parents angry that this childless woman would have the audacity to give us hard-working moms advice. It points out over and over again that Zapis is a “non-parent observer” and the “outside vantage point.” It’s just begging for mommy bloggers to fire off angry posts about some childfree Supernanny upstart. They want moms complaining about horrible childless people giving advice, hoping that the anger will gain publicity for the new release.

Sorry publicists, but we at Mommyish aren’t taking the bait. This book definitely makes us angry, but only because it’s trying so hard to pit childless women against moms, to fan the flames of this growing culture war.

Childless men and women have every right to express their opinions about children and parenting. Their viewpoints are valid and we respect them. In fact, we welcome people to discuss the concerns facing mothers and fathers today, whether they have kids or not. Our very own Editor-In-Chief Koa Beck is childfree.

Having kids or not having kids doesn’t make your viewpoint suddenly more valid. It doesn’t make your opinions more thoughtful or relevant. There are really thoughtful moms and really ignorant moms, just like there are really thoughtful childless people and really ignorant childless people. Being a parent doesn’t make you a better person. Being childless does not make you the enemy of parents.

The media seems to enjoy this growing antagonism. They like exploiting the childfree vs. parenting dichotomy. Just check out all of the studies about women in the workplace, pitting the ambitious single girl against the “trying to have it all” working mom. The problem is that this fake new culture war hurts women everywhere.

If the most special thing about this book is that it’s written by a woman who doesn’t have children of her own, then I’m sorry for both the author and the publishers. If their whole hook is that a childless woman is daring to give advice to moms, I hope other parenting outlets don’t take the bait. None of us need this argument.

You don’t have to be a fashion designer to have an opinion about clothes. You don’t have to play football to care about sports. You don’t have to be a parent to give advice about dealing with children. We should all be able to agree on this. And hopefully, we’ll all be able to roll our eyes at this faux-controversy and get back to discussing the parenting issues that really matter.

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  • LiteBrite

    Actually the book sounds like it’d be pretty funny (in a good way). I’m tempted to pick up a copy.

  • Tinyfaeri

    You’re not taking the bait, huh? Not going to give them even a little publicity by writing a whole blog post dedicated to the book. Not even a little at all.
    Oh…wait…

    • chickadee

      If you Google the title of the book, this article pops up at (I think) #3….

    • Tinyfaeri

      LOL! That’s awesome.

    • once upon a time

      I can’t stop loling at the title of this article. “I’m not taking the bait Ageleke Zapis, if that is your real name, and to prove it, I’m going to write an article about how I’m not taking the bait.”

    • Kate

      Ha ha my thoughts exactly! I’m like…. “What do you call this?”

  • Oz

    All my friends are having children and I’m putting it off for a few more years, but I’m learning an awful not about how NOT to raise them by the way that more than half of those kids are shrieking, rude, entitled little shits. Just last week a 4-year-old was on my deck throwing some decorative pebbles at my windows while its father ignored it.

    So yeah, this book looks pretty funny, and may even have some tips on how to deal with brats whose parents won’t control them. Thanks for the plug.

    • Andrea

      You need new friends.

      Also, I want you to call me if/when you have kids and I’d love to talk to you about it. Because while it is true that some kids are total shits, it is also true that what you perceive as being a brat is, in fact, a normal kid who is a little tired/wound up. Not that you don’t have the right to be pissed (because you have every right), but I’m just saying that everyone knows what “not to do” or “how they will do it” right up until the bring that baby home.

    • once upon a time

      Right? I mean, my son always throws rocks at windows when he’s tired. And you should hear the carry on! “He broke my window, the rain’s coming inside my house…” I’m like, “Listen lady, you’re obviously not a mother. Why don’t you run along and fulfill your womanly duty, and *then* you can come back and talk to me about ‘inappropriate behaviour.” Pfft, childfrees, amirite?

    • http://www.facebook.com/alice.longworth.7 Alice Longworth

      In what world is it normal to go on a neighbor’s desk and throw stones at the windows? Probably not a shitty kid though, it was the lazy ass father who didn’t stop the kid.

  • once upon a time

    ‘If their whole hook is that a childless woman is daring to give advice to moms’

    I wouldn’t have thought that ‘woman gets accidentally pregnant’ would be a hook, but Rebecca Eckler made a career out of it, didn’t she?

    Honestly, this whole article is ridiculous.

    • Andrea

      OH snap! That was really funny!

  • Stephen

    I came here expecting to read an article about “how dare a childless person comment on parenting”. Pleasantly surprised. My opinion is always disregarded due to having no kids, regardless of the number of kids I’ve had a large part in raising.

  • Kate

    So… you didn’t actually read the book, yet felt the need to write a whole article about it?

    So basically, this is an article about a whole load of your own assumptions about what the book contains and how you are not taking the bait of the book?

    *slow claps*

    • waffre

      No one has read the book, it hasn’t come out yet. This is about a press release for the book.

  • Faye

    I think the point the author was going for is that the bait she is refusing to take is the one that would instigate mom vs woman-sans-children territorial pissing contests and enmity where there needn’t be any. Her point isn’t that she’s ignoring the book, she’s ignoring the goading nature of argument that the book seems intended to instigate. I think the points she makes about women just being women and accepting each other as such are valid and important.