• Sun, Feb 3 2013

Heiress, Future Fashion Icon And Paparazzi Paycheck Blue Ivy Is Talking – And I Know Her First Words

beyonce blue ivy 180712Blue Ivy is talking. Our collective favorite celebrity baby, well, my favorite celebrity baby because I think some of you are still adoring that never-seen, no-information, may-as-well-not-exist Adele baby, spawn of  American royalty Queen Beyonce and King Jay-Z, has uttered her first words. According to US Magazine:

She’s starting to talk,” Beyonce gushed after noting that seeing Blue’s face in the morning is “the best thing in the world . . . It’s just such a beautiful time in my life to have a child and every day see something new and see her learn something new.”

You guys, this just proves that Blue Ivy is some amazingly great, brilliant super baby because according to all of the child-development books in my basement where all the spiders live most babies don’t start even uttering their first real words until they are around 16 months. And Blue Ivy is only 13 months, so she is so much better than your baby! I bet at 13 months your baby isn’t even cooing yet and also, probably has never even been cuddled by Gwyneth Paltrow or Oprah. It totally bums me out that our best friend Beyonce didn’t say exactly what Blue is vocalizing, so I have decided to make up shit she might be saying because I am an investigative, professional journalist like that. (And I am counting the minutes until the Super Bowl Halftime Show!)

(photo: WENN)

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  • KatGisMe

    At 13 months my daughter could run over to the fridge and shake the door handle yelling, “MILK!!,” but I’ve guessing Blue Ivy isn’t doing anything so … common. She probably is saying, “Diamonds! Give me diamonds!” Damn. Wish I’d taught my daughter to yell that… I’m going to work on it.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      LOLOLOL yay!

  • Stacey

    I don’t have any kids of my own quite yet, so I have no experience with when they start talking. However, my own baby book claims that at 12 months I talked very well, using such phrases as “Good girl,” “Bye bye, Daddy,” and “Potty, Mommy.” I think it’s totally plausible Blue is saying “Cha-ching” or something already.

  • CrazyFor Kate

    Forget that, when does Blue start elaborately choreographed routines accompanied by singing with perfect pitch? I’d be worried if it’s much past 16 months.