you tubeI love the Super Bowl. Not because I’m some rabid football fan, I mean, I like the game just fine and all, but I don’t particularly have a dog in this fight, not including the Puppy Bowl, because I tend to get real opinionated on that and I’m also sort of gleefully stoked for the Destiny’s Child reunion, but we mainly watch for the ads. Most of the ads created for the Super Bowl are just supposed to be entertaining and memorable, but if you ask most people the day after the Super Bowl which spot belonged to which product they will have no idea, unless we get a super offensive beer commercial to bitch about the next morning. People just don’t recall who was shilling what unless you prompt them, which Ad Age does every year. One of the commercials I’m most excited about forgetting who it was made for is this little gem brought to us by the car company Kia, which features some amazingly cute baby action and very little information about the actual car.

SO CUTE, RIGHT? There is a planet called Babylandia! There are babies there! Human babies! Piggy babies! Elephant babies! Whales babies! CGI Panda bear babies! And the babies come to earth in a rocket which PENETRATES (and this is where all the drunk dudes at your Super Bowl party who are spilling bean dip on your carpet get a big guffaw, “Dude, get it? Penetrate!”) the atmosphere and after a long nine month journey they find their mommies and daddies. And that son, is where babies come from. Except the son looks all skeptical about this and wants to explain to his parents that his friend Jake said that babies are made when mommies and daddies… and the dad gets this panicked look on his face and commands the car via voice recognition system UVO to play “Wheels On The Bus.” D’oh! Which is actually the only feature of the car they mention. And the tagline is that the 2014 Kia Sorento “Has An Answer For Everything.”

Ok Kia Sorento, I wanna ask you, since you have an answer for everything, why parents who are being asked by their son, who is obviously like around 7-years-old, can’t just answer the kid honestly about where babies come from? It’s not like they have to go into graphic detail about sex and everything, but are we really supposed to believe most parents with a kid that age wouldn’t answer them honestly? Oh nevermind, I just remembered this is a Super Bowl commercial and it’s not supposed to be realistic and that it’s just supposed to be entertaining and I need to shut up and just enjoy the rhino in the spacesuit. Gotcha. But I probably won’t remember you in the morning.

(Image: You Tube)