Kia Superbowl Commercial Features Spacebabies From A Magical Place Called Babylandia Where Parents Lie To Their Children

you tubeI love the Super Bowl. Not because I’m some rabid football fan, I mean, I like the game just fine and all, but I don’t particularly have a dog in this fight, not including the Puppy Bowl, because I tend to get real opinionated on that and I’m also sort of gleefully stoked for the Destiny’s Child reunion, but we mainly watch for the ads. Most of the ads created for the Super Bowl are just supposed to be entertaining and memorable, but if you ask most people the day after the Super Bowl which spot belonged to which product they will have no idea, unless we get a super offensive beer commercial to bitch about the next morning. People just don’t recall who was shilling what unless you prompt them, which Ad Age does every year. One of the commercials I’m most excited about forgetting who it was made for is this little gem brought to us by the car company Kia, which features some amazingly cute baby action and very little information about the actual car.

SO CUTE, RIGHT? There is a planet called Babylandia! There are babies there! Human babies! Piggy babies! Elephant babies! Whales babies! CGI Panda bear babies! And the babies come to earth in a rocket which PENETRATES (and this is where all the drunk dudes at your Super Bowl party who are spilling bean dip on your carpet get a big guffaw, “Dude, get it? Penetrate!”) the atmosphere and after a long nine month journey they find their mommies and daddies. And that son, is where babies come from. Except the son looks all skeptical about this and wants to explain to his parents that his friend Jake said that babies are made when mommies and daddies… and the dad gets this panicked look on his face and commands the car via voice recognition system UVO to play “Wheels On The Bus.” D’oh! Which is actually the only feature of the car they mention. And the tagline is that the 2014 Kia Sorento “Has An Answer For Everything.”

Ok Kia Sorento, I wanna ask you, since you have an answer for everything, why parents who are being asked by their son, who is obviously like around 7-years-old, can’t just answer the kid honestly about where babies come from? It’s not like they have to go into graphic detail about sex and everything, but are we really supposed to believe most parents with a kid that age wouldn’t answer them honestly? Oh nevermind, I just remembered this is a Super Bowl commercial and it’s not supposed to be realistic and that it’s just supposed to be entertaining and I need to shut up and just enjoy the rhino in the spacesuit. Gotcha. But I probably won’t remember you in the morning.

(Image: You Tube)

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  • Persistent Cat

    The kid’s face at the end shows he totally doesn’t buy it. I thought it was cute, dad gets caught off guard, isn’t ready to have *that* discussion yet, he gets a pass.

    I don’t know why people watch the Super Bowl for the ads, you can see them all online before the event. I also tend to think, if that company hadn’t paid a bazillion dollars to advertise during the Super Bowl, maybe that product would be cheaper and I’d consider buying it.

    • Eve Vawter

      We shall have lots more to bitch about after the Super Bowl.. dun dun dun!

  • Ellie

    OMG HA HA HA HA! It’s just a commercial. For adults. It’s a joke, and it’s hilarious. I usually agree with what you write, but this time I think you need to just calm down and find your lost sense of humor.

    • Eve Vawter

      It just has NOTHING to do with the car! It’s not effective advertising, haha! But yes, I love the space rhino!

  • Daisy

    Lol I was 5 when I asked. My parents said babies came from “happiness.” I didn’t quite buy that, but I did reply sassily that it either meant I was getting a new sibling, or they weren’t happy with my youngest sister. My mom didn’t really have a comeback for that! (I didn’t find out the real story until MANY years later–I was pretty sheltered.)

  • nikuso

    This ad is problematic for more than simply being a poor attempt at selling a car by touting its features or for being insulting by insinuating that parents wouldn’t have the sense or ability to speak openly to their kids. The reality is, you’re exactly right, that most people in this country are going to watch the superbowl largely for the new ads. And those ads are going to try to “penetrate” our consciousnesses to snag our desire for new stuff. But beyond that, these images of “Normal American Life” are giving people an impression of How It Is Out There. It suggests to each of us a way (this particular way) to see the world. In the worldview expressed by the Kia advert I have the strong impression I’m supposed to believe that my job as a parent is to give my children a totally absurd story about a fundamentally human process rather than make the effort to find a reasonably age-appropriate way (through metaphor, or directly, or whatever) to share my understanding of life with them. and the best part…? The new Kia will help me with that. Greaaaaat.