The ever clickable “post-baby body” never fails to grab a headline for a celebrity down on their PR or — in the case of most tabloid media — incite a bunch of truly derogatory vocabulary. You don’t even need to be the “world’s most beautiful woman” to know the scrutiny (or elation) with the media-obsessed post-baby body.
Suddenly having a baby elicits a slew of terms such as “cankles,” “paunch” or even “deflated beach ball.” But even these jabs at the postpartum form are relatively benign compared to the buzzy terms that float around coverage of a celebrity mother’s weight loss — or even worse, anything less than a lightly airbrushed Victoria Beckham. Someone somewhere is patting themselves on the back for cooking up various giggling euphemisms for “fat,” punctuating their review of bikini pics with “playful” swipes at parts of the post-baby body — the now essential cornerstone of product pushing, daytime TV segments, and magazines the world over. The post-baby has also proved to be perfect for promoting movies, plugging weight loss, and generally causing international neck-craning.
So while we’re all rolling our eyes at what new gems continue to roll off the presses, it’s worth recounting the worst of the worst.