shutterstock_120953119A custody battle is never pleasant. But that is no reason to avoid one altogether by giving your child up for adoption without consulting her birth father. Who does that? Tira Bland apparently thought it would be a good idea. She placed her two-year-old up for adoption at birth, without her soldier husband’s knowledge. This story is really weird.

The child’s father, Terry Achane, says that 10 days after he left his pregnant wife for a job out of state, she gave birth prematurely and gave the baby up for adoption without his knowledge or consent. They were having marital problems and he guesses that she was afraid of being a single mom.  She gave the child up to a Utah couple hoping to expand their family of five children.

I was always under the assumption that there was a lot of time, legalities, and paperwork involved in something like this. I had no idea that an adoption was something that could start-to-finish take 10 days. Something about this story just doesn’t seem right.

On Friday, a Utah judge ordered that the family’s adoption petition be dismissed. Jared and Kristi Frei had to give up a child who they considered part of their family for the last 22 months. Ugh. All because Bland decided to make a decision that was clearly not hers alone to make – and take a child away from a father who obviously wanted her.

I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to give a child up at birth. But deciding that motherhood is something that you dont want doesn’t give you the right to rob your husband of the opportunity to raise his child. Not to mention break the heart of adoptive parents who have been raising this child as their own for almost two years. The couple said they were “deeply saddened” by the court’s ruling to give Teleah back to “a father she does not know at all.”

As much as I am sad for this adoptive family, I have to side with the birth father here. He’s spent the first two years of her life trying to get her back.

I just hope he gets sole custody.

(photo: Andrey Eremin/ Shutterstock.com)