ng spotlight 031110I can’t be the only mom who looks at the  Brandi Glanville and LeAnn Rimes fight and thinks it can be solved by sending them both to their rooms and grounding them from having access to the Internet for a while. Now, I may not be an expert on Real Housewives or country music, but I am an expert on other things, like candy and Adam And The Ants and the BBC television show Luther, so I can say as an expert on various things that both Brandi and LeeAnn need to STFU and stop drama-vomiting all over the world and remember that they are not only grownass women, but they are grownass women who are supposed to be co-parenting children. The most recent example, of which there are roughly 90 gazillion, of girl on girl crime between these grownass women happened on Monday when Brandi appeared on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen and she called LeeAnn “insane.” From E Online:

Brandi’s comments were prompted by LeAnn’s tell-all interview with Entertainment Tonight, where the songbird confessed “at times” she worries that her husband of two years will cheat on her. LeAnn and Eddie began dating in 2009 while they were both married to other people.

“Every day there’s a tell-all,” Brandi says of LeAnn’s latest heartfelt interview. “It’s kind of cray-cray!”

Cohen then references Glanville’s own tell-all book, appropriately titled Drinking and Tweeting, and asks whether the reality star is implying that LeAnn is Cibrian’s “sugar mama.”

“It’s kinda true,” the blond bombshell admits, confirming that Eddie had always wanted to live in a big house with a gated community and LeAnn—who has been famous for over a decade—was able to fulfill those dreams.

Fellow guest star Hoda Kotb also chimes in on the conversation, referencing Cibrian and Rimes’ union:  ”Have you ever heard the saying—and I don’t know if this is applicable to him—‘the way you got him is the way you’ll lose him’?” as Brandi nods in approval.

“Do you think that now she is…” Cohen asks before Brandi interjects, “Insane?”

“Do you think that?” the Bravo hosts questions. “Yes, I do,” Brandi says point-blank.

And then before the show was even over, LeAnn signed on Twitter and told Brandi to “KMA” which in the vehicular or teenagers everywhere means “kiss my ass.”

Fact: Both of these women are over the age of 30.

I’m not being ageist by saying this, because I am in my 40′s and I get super pissy when someone suggests I am too old to wear glitter nailpolish or to squee over Blythe dolls or to use a word like “squee” but doesn’t there come a time when after a certain age you sort of look around at the great big world and say “Mayhaps (and you use the word “mayhaps” because it’s a grownass lady word and it’s kinda fun to say) I should stop referring to other women as “cray-cray” (and if you saw the interview on Bravo, you can tell that even Brandi realizes how utterly lame she sounds using this term)  and sign off my computer and mayhaps speak honestly and truthfully to the other lady person I am having problems with?” How about that plan, considering you are both trying to raise two small children?

I know that the there are complications in the world of Brandi and LeAnn, including affairs that led to divorces and maybe the idea of them seeing a family counselor together and working on how to better communicate may be difficult, but come on! Do you really need to cat flight all over the television and social media and probably to your local baristas at your local Starbucks over how much you dislike each other? And I use the totally sexist term cat fight because what they are doing. Engaging in this totally sexist girl on girl crime is sexist, meow meow meow.

It’s easy for me to point fingers and roll my eyes, but I have been just as guilty as this sort of lady hate crime as anyone else. I’ve been nasty to plenty of girls in my day and I am totally guilty of doing the exact things I am accusing Brandi and LeAnn of, but lawd knows I am trying to be better. I’m at a point in my life that unless I see another woman being a total rape victim-blamer or slut-shamer or utter bully, I do my best to air my grievances to this person in private, rather than to everyone else and Lisa Vanderpump‘s dog.

It’s getting embarrassing. I’m embarrassed for the both of you. I do believe that women (good women and unless you are kicking kittens or abusing children I do believe that most women are good) need to stick together. All people should unite together and try to be kind to one another and empower each other, but women especially. Because in my expert opinion, there is still too much bullshit against women in the world.

I know celebrity feuds are excellent media-fodder and there are books and CDs to sell, but wouldn’t it be amazingly cool if , I don’t know, you both decided to work your shit out in private and decided to do something good together? Like start a foundation for children or animals or something? Mahaps we should try that plan for awhile rather than taking our feuds to Twitter or the talk show circuit. At the very least, when Jake and Mason are old enough to read they won’t be totally appalled at their moms acting like “bitches” to one another.

I will conclude this lecture in the way that all great lectures are concluded, by quoting Destiny’s Child:

You know I’m not gon’ diss you on the internet
‘Cause my mama taught me better than that

Now go to your rooms!

(photo: WENN)