Screen Shot 2013-01-20 at 10.32.13 AMIn two totally unrelated news stories, the results of a new survey were released this week claiming that porn is ruining our relationships. I don’t know if I agree with that, but coincidentally this week I also discovered the most disturbing porn parody in the history of porn. My eyes! My eyes! File this into “things you can never un-see.” Award-winning parody porn director Lee Roy Myers of Seinfeld: A XXX Parody and Cheers: A XXX Parody fame has done it again with SpongeBob SquarePants:  the porn star. Actually, his name is SpongeKnob SquareNuts now. Who writes this stuff? Oh yeah, Lee Roy Myers does.

As if SpongeBob himself wasn’t annoying enough with his incessant whining and goofy friends, now there is a porn parody that I will never be able to erase from my mind. Have you ever wanted to hear SpongeBob moan with ecstasy? I’m going to guess no, you haven’t. And Sandy! What have they done with Sandy? Have all of the porn story lines known to man really run dry? That would be the only explanation for going out on this limb.

I don’t know what is more confusing and gross – the idea of two adults dressing up as characters from a kid’s show and having porn-sex, or the fact that someone, somewhere is finding this erotic. Different strokes for different folks and all – but this is just weird.

Which brings me back to the porn survey (I know, it’s a stretch.) The survey claims that more and more men are suffering from performance anxiety due to the impressive sexual feats they see in porn. Women are admitting that they feel an extra pressure to perform like a porn star. But what about the added factor of being weirded-out by what turns your partner on? Okay, the SpongeBob example is extreme – but I’m sure there are plenty of couples who are confused by the difference between what is happening in their bedroom, and what their mate seems to be drawn to in cyberspace porn-land.

I’m sure this isn’t the first porn-parody of a children’s show. I remember seeing XXX Flinstones cartoons a while back. But I don’t want to see this. And I definitely don’t want to know if anyone that I know is turned on by it.  Here’s the trailer teaser. It’s obviously NSFW.

Enjoy!

(photo: YouTube)