• Sun, Jan 20 2013

Someone Very Creepy Made SpongeBob SquarePants A Porn Star

Screen Shot 2013-01-20 at 10.32.13 AMIn two totally unrelated news stories, the results of a new survey were released this week claiming that porn is ruining our relationships. I don’t know if I agree with that, but coincidentally this week I also discovered the most disturbing porn parody in the history of porn. My eyes! My eyes! File this into “things you can never un-see.” Award-winning parody porn director Lee Roy Myers of Seinfeld: A XXX Parody and Cheers: A XXX Parody fame has done it again with SpongeBob SquarePants:  the porn star. Actually, his name is SpongeKnob SquareNuts now. Who writes this stuff? Oh yeah, Lee Roy Myers does.

As if SpongeBob himself wasn’t annoying enough with his incessant whining and goofy friends, now there is a porn parody that I will never be able to erase from my mind. Have you ever wanted to hear SpongeBob moan with ecstasy? I’m going to guess no, you haven’t. And Sandy! What have they done with Sandy? Have all of the porn story lines known to man really run dry? That would be the only explanation for going out on this limb.

I don’t know what is more confusing and gross – the idea of two adults dressing up as characters from a kid’s show and having porn-sex, or the fact that someone, somewhere is finding this erotic. Different strokes for different folks and all – but this is just weird.

Which brings me back to the porn survey (I know, it’s a stretch.) The survey claims that more and more men are suffering from performance anxiety due to the impressive sexual feats they see in porn. Women are admitting that they feel an extra pressure to perform like a porn star. But what about the added factor of being weirded-out by what turns your partner on? Okay, the SpongeBob example is extreme – but I’m sure there are plenty of couples who are confused by the difference between what is happening in their bedroom, and what their mate seems to be drawn to in cyberspace porn-land.

I’m sure this isn’t the first porn-parody of a children’s show. I remember seeing XXX Flinstones cartoons a while back. But I don’t want to see this. And I definitely don’t want to know if anyone that I know is turned on by it.  Here’s the trailer teaser. It’s obviously NSFW.

Enjoy!

(photo: YouTube)

 

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
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  • Brandy

    Several years ago saw an interview with the original creators of Sponge Bob, Square Pants. Though it sold as a children’s show it was actually–gasp!–created to be sexual. Really think about it: a sponge (a type of contraception) resides in bikini bottoms, is good “friends” with a very phallic looking squid and a squirrel (yet another sexual joke). It really isn’t appropriate for kids, porn or no.

    • StephKay

      I remember watching an episode with my daughter where spongebob was watching tv, something like a piece of seaweed on the screen wiggling around in the waves on the screen. Gary meows and spongebob said something like ‘it’s not what you think’ and changed the channel. They didn’t get further into it, it was just a little chuckle for the parents that would go way over the kids heads, definitely made me laugh. My dad is a film prof who specializes in classic animation (he’s one of the commentary voices on the “popeye” box set, for example) and aside from the obvious benefits of being a little girl growing up around the cartoon industry, one of the more fun parts of learning about the production side for me has been the awareness of the unspoken “throw an adult joke in there” rule in a lot of childrens entertainment. I tend to think as long as it isn’t blatant there’s nothing necessarily wrong with kids enjoying something that the parents can enjoy on a different level of humor. A good chunk of the time we as parents raise an eyebrow over a double entendre it’s usually safe to say that yes, it was deliberate, and no, it’s not going to scar the kids for life.

      I won’t even get started on the porn thing, part of my job is safer sex education so it’s pretty obvious that I’m going to be biased in terms of sex positivity, but I will say that porn (just like all other aspects of sexuality) is something very personal to each couple. It’s all about boundaries, and it’s always okay to express discomfort with what one finds unacceptable in their own relationships. For me I don’t find porn an issue, and see a place for parody porn if someone likes a chuckle in their sex lives. I can still see why other women might be uncomfortable with their partner or themselves watching these things. Others might be comfortable with something as far in the spectrum as a fully open relationship and think we’re all crazy for our standards too. As always it’s just a matter of taste and consent between partners. And the same can be said for the kind of humor we’re comfortable with our kids watching. A matter of taste and preference in general.

    • http://twitter.com/DecaturFlora Flora

      Thiiiis does not surprise me. And definitely explains why the show makes me uncomfortable on TOP of annoying the ever loving crap out of me.

  • CrazyFor Kate

    Haven’t you heard of Rule 34?

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

      Can you believe that I hadn’t until yesterday? Makes total sense. And it’s probably a fact.

    • Jessie

      Oh it’s not ‘probably’ a fact, it IS a fact. Just test it. Literally anything you type into Google along with the words “porn” or “hentai” will come up with at least one result, and if it doesn’t, then rest assured that it will soon be fixed by the Internet.

      It’s really quite terrifying.

    • CrazyFor Kate

      Also, don’t google image any beloved cartoon characters with Safesearch off. Just don’t.