"Why yes, I can tell that you're having third trimester intercourse."
"When people ask you if you're having twins, it makes me feel fat, too."
"Just so we're clear, this prenatal yoga class is doing nothing for me."
"Is it just me or are the other ladies in this birthing class kind of weird?"
"It's nice that you're planning on a home birth. I'm planning on you needing a c-section."
"Hey, you know what I could really go for right now? EVERYTHING!"
"Take all the prenatal vitamins you want. I'm still going to community college."
"I'm glad you think I have your nose in the ultrasound. No, THANK YOU."
"Oh SUSHI! You daredevil, you."