• Thu, Jan 17 2013

NYU Student Allegedly Sharing Dorm With Roommate’s 4-Year-Old Is Probably Not Getting The Hard-Partying College Experience

shutterstock_32091172I don’t know about you guys, but the last thing I wanted to deal with while in college was a bratty kid running around my dorm room and disturbing me while I was studying or trying to get laid or watching “Sex In The City” or doing my nails or something. College is for learning and vomiting and doing drugs and sleeping with boys with unfortunate facial hair, not dealing with some Handy Mandy obsessed ankle-biter.  Can you imagine college roommates who are toddlers? This is what NYU junior Shasten Snellgroves is claiming is going on in her dorm room. From NYUlocal:

…we now have Shasten Snellgroves, a junior at NYU who says that NYU is forcing her to share her living space with her roommate’s four year old son. Snellgroves says that with NYU’s sign-in policy, the child could spend every day in her room and sleep over six nights a month. She is not comfortable with this situation at all.

 

So Shasten wrote a letter to NYU Local voicing her concerns:

In my contact with these directors, I very directly addressed how I feel extremely uncomfortable with the situation for many reasons. I am a student and I do not feel as though I should be subjected to this kind of living arrangement. How can I be a successful student with a four-year old running around my study/living space? Assuming this student isn’t allowed to bring her son to class, why should student housing be any different?

Other questions were also raised as to who is responsible if this child manages to open the medicine cabinet and overdose on my medication or ingests cleaning substances? What is the child slips in the hallway or bathtub and sustains a serious injury? Who is going to stop the child from opening the refrigerator and drinking my bottle of wine? I now have to change the way I live my life due to the fact that a child will be a frequent guest in the apartment?

 

Oh I feel ya Shasten. Why should you have to have a 4-year-old college roommate during your educational experience when you should be able to focus on getting your degree and/or getting crunk? I’m with ya. College is hard enough as it is without having to worry about some snot-nosed kid infringing on your personal space. And I feel for the mother of the child too, because they obviously have to live in a dorm for some reason and can’t get different housing or live in a family dorm. I think the reasonable solution would be to pair Shasten’s college roommate up with another mother with a kid and let them all be one big happy mother/child dorm space, and give Shasten a new childless college roommate.

(photo: Kiselev Andrey Valerevich/shutterstock)

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  • Female reader

    I don’t think NYU has family dorms (at least, they didn’t 13 years ago when I attended) because it has no campus and building space is extremely limited. Considering that housing is more expensive than renting an apartment, it’s pretty mind-boggling that the mother of this kid is even in a dorm. I’m guessing the actual care providers of the 4 year old (the mother’s parents, maybe?) live nearby, which leads one to wonder why the mother isn’t living with them and her kid, unless it’s a split custody deal with the father. Nonetheless, college dorms, unless designed for family living isn’t appropriate for children, period. Maybe there’s another single mom out there with a kid, living in the dorm while her child lives, I don’t know, somewhere, but considering that NYU is the second most expensive university in the country, and located in a city with a high cost of living, that’s doubtful…

    • Tea

      That’s what I was thinking, every dorm I’ve seen (+ the usually required meal plan) is much more expensive than an apartment, especially one split with a friend.

      You said exactly what I was thinking, just faster.

    • StephKay

      I was just going to ask if nyu had family dorms, I know they’re pretty common in a lot of major colleges and universities. It’s a shame they aren’t available in this case. If the arrangement involves a child spending a few nights a month with his mother, I bet this is a case of the relatively common scenario where a teenage parent has the grandparents take on a primary guardianship role and slowly transitions into parenting when they get older. In that case it would seem like the parent is attempting to juggle the college experience (which is basically the whole point of handing over the parenting role until you’ve grown up a bit) with parenting experience, which mesh just fine under certain circumstances, but this is definitely not one of those circumstances. I feel bad for everyone involved, it seems like all parties are just trying to live the best way they can, but with very incompatible lives. I know as a 20-something mom most of my mom friends are juggling university and kids just fine, some while living in family dorms, but regular dorms with a non-parent roommate? Bad call. I hope this story has a happy ending for everyone.

  • Tea

    I think even with a really well behaved child, this would be a difficult living arrangement, and one that’s not fair to the student. I agree that they should see about pairing her with another mother, or put her in a single.

    It’s odd that they don’t have limits on how long you can have an overnight visitor. My school did, to prevent someone from basically moving in with a boyfriend/girlfriend. A friend hit a snag when she had to go to the school and her legally married to husband couldn’t stay more than 3 nights in a row (active duty military who visited).

  • Castille

    She’s right. The University needs to act. I can’t believe they permit alcohol in the dorms! lol

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ATVDSOWBYE3MV7XQ6APD7FFSIM Beth

    Ummm….I have a question. WHO is raising this child? Obviously, this college mom does not have custody. Where is the father? Is the child staying with the grandparents for most of his time? If you have a child and want to go to college, fine. But to go and live in a student housing complex where you know ahead of time that you cannot live full time with your own kid? Geesh. Sorry, that is selfish.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ATVDSOWBYE3MV7XQ6APD7FFSIM Beth

    So…..who is responsible when the kid catches the room mate changing out of her clothing? Or if the room mate wants to sleep naked? Or the kid gets into another room mates belongings like medication or alcohol? Kids are a huge responsibility. Asking all the other residents of the apartment to baby proof is insane! They are grown adults who are seeking an educational experience. If they wanted to be parents, they would have done so by now on their own. They paid for an education. They did not sign up to be day care providers.

  • JMS

    I graduated from NYU 5 years ago and at that point it was much cheaper to share an apartment with a roommate off campus for an entire year than live in housing for 9 months. Also, by the time someone is a junior (I’m assuming the roommate with the kid is because the roommate is, but that might not be the case) they can apply for a single (which admittedly is more expensive). I don’t know if there is family housing for undergrads, never something I needed to look into, but there are certainly better options out there than bringing your child into your dorm room.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Goldie-Treasure/100001545308532 Goldie Treasure

    Why would you feel sorry for the mom? She made the choice to bring a kid into the world when she is obviously not prepared for it. I’m getting some kind of passive-aggressive jabs from this post, like you are saying the only reason she has an issue is because she wants to party and screw around. Hardly any mention of how disruptive it would be for this young women to study with an annoying toddler running around, especially for 6 times a month. NYU is not cheap, she is paying all that tuition and should not have to share a dorm with a child.

    • None

      I, for one, was shocked to learn that Eve went to college.

  • I

    You’re a shitty mother. Fuck you.