My Fiancé And I Are Already Fighting Over My Son’s Hair — And He Barely Has Any

first hair cutMy son, at seven months, now has enough hair to say, well, he has hair! It seems to be pin straight and sticks up like freshly planted grass. There will be no need for that first hair cut for a while, but the argument over his hairstyle started long before he was born. In fact, it started when he was still in my uterus.

I love the look of boys with longer hair, kind of the surfer look, and also mohawks, like Gwen Stefani’s children (and, yes, I realize that my son is not the offspring of rock stars.) But mostly I do like the long hair, surfer-dude look and this is what my fiancé and I have been arguing about for many, many months. From the day he came home from the hospital, my mother-in-law told me I’d have to think about where I wanted to part his hair.

I was like, “There’s barely any hair. And, also, I can barely walk. I just had a C-section. Can I get my Tylenol Three now?”

Haircuts for girls seem a lot easier. Long hair or short hair. Bangs or no bangs. But when it comes to boys, well, let’s just say there are a lot more options. My fiancé prefers our son to have a preppy look when it comes to our son’s haircut, like a handsome boy going off to his first job interview.

Parents and their child’s first haircut are huge deals I’ve learned. Facebook wasn’t around, or at least I wasn’t on it, when my daughter was born nine years ago. So I didn’t get the “pleasure” of seeing the hundreds of postings of children getting their first haircut. I mean, literally, one woman posted 117 – ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN – photos of her son getting his first haircut.

To echo STFU, Parents, seriously, no one needs to see ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN photos of your child getting his or her first hair cut. One, two, or even three would suffice. But because my fiancé and I have been arguing over our son’s hair – our son who barely even has any hair – I wonder if other parents have gone through this or are going through this argument as well.

In my opinion, since I carried the little guy for nine months and he made me gain 60 pounds, and I’m the one who had my stomach cut open to get him out, the least I can get is the first rite on my son’s hair style. I mean, it’s not like we’re arguing which college or university he should go to. We’re talking about a baby’s hairstyle. My brother and my sister-in-law kept their son’s hair long for three years. He looked adorable (and, I’ll admit, kind of like a girl.) But, still, I loved his long locks.

I want my son to have that surfer look, because I think surfers are super cool. I refuse – I REFUSE – to let anyone style his hair like Justin Bieber. In fact, one of my greatest fears is that my fiancé is going to take our son to the barber without telling me. I told him if he did this, I would leave him, that’s how adamant I am about being there and being the stylist next to the professional hair stylist when he gets his first hair cut.

In the meantime, we are also having baby hair wars. When my fiancé is not in the room, I’ll style my son’s fair hair into a mohawk. When I leave the room, my fiancé will comb his hair straight like he’s a mini-banker. Then when he leaves the room, my baby’s hair will be put back into the mohawk style. Let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s only seven months old and doesn’t really know or care that we are touching his head.

I will, I tell you, win this baby hair war. My fiancé is nearly bald after all (a totally sexy bald) so, really, don’t I know more about hair then him? And, yes, you can expect a picture or two of my son’s first haircut in a few years. Like I said, I’m not cutting his hair until he looks like a surfer. And, yes, you can put this under the theme of “stupidest parental arguments ever.” But it doesn’t really feel that way. At least not to me.

(photo: Cindy Hughes / Shutterstock)

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  • Paul White

    It’s kid’s hair…just make sure it’s out of their eyes and that’s good enough.

  • Lori B.

    LOL! I think long hair on a boy is cute, but there is no way I will let my son’s hair grow long (he is still in my uterus)! My daughter hysterically cries every time I brush her hair… I so look forward to not dealing with that when my son is born!
    On your other point, I have an idea to get your partner on-board with the long hair. Tell him, you want you son to make the decision. That will give you at least two years!

  • Lilly

    sometimes the baby’s hair makes the decision for you. my son has adorable curls, but it is kept short since OMG the tangles and knots far outweigh the cute curls

  • Courtney

    Regardless of who wins or even who’s right, I REALLY loathe the whole “I carried the child, so I get to make all the decisions” shtick. You didn’t CHOOSE to carry the child; you just happened to be the partner who was born with the right body parts. Being the mother does not (or SHOULD not) give more power or “veto power” over decisions.

    • Justme

      Yes. This can be applied to a myriad of parenting decisions. Two people came together to make this child so shouldn’t both people get a say in the major decisions?

    • Amy

      I’m not sure where you’re from, but here in the US carrying a child IS a choice.

    • Sean Phillips

      Not for me, not for any other man. Yeah, the mother suffered the pain of childbirth and all that that encompasses, but the father didn’t even have the choice in the first place. We don’t get to experience the miracle firsthand, and that is also suffering.

  • CrazyFor Kate

    My nephew had beautiful long blond hair until he got it cut at 8 or 9-ish. Sometimes people would ask “Who’s that little girl?”, but he was happy, and he grew up to be as fine and well-adjusted man as anyone. It really, really doesn’t matter.

  • Ordinaryperson

    Hair cuts are such a hassle… I’m so so so cheap when it comes to hair cuts, I go maybe once every six months because I hate spending the money on it. And I even go to first choice hair cutters, where the cut only costs like 15$ and it can be pretty hit and miss whether the cut comes out all right. My daughter’s two, and she’s not had hers cut yet, so that’s fine. But with men/boys with short hair, they need it cut like once a month at least. That can get pricey! I cut my husband’s hair myself, but I don’t know what I’ll do for my son… Can you use clippers on a baby? Anyway, just tell your husband you’re saving money by not getting his hair cut, that could fly.

    • rebecca eckler


    • Kate

      I have been cutting my son’s hair since he was 6 months old. I just give him a long-ish (like 1/2 – 3/4 inch) buzz cut with the clippers. Easy and free!

  • Fran

    Now that we have one of each I am hoping this battle gets easier for me and my husband. He really likes short hair on women and keeps trying to get me to agree to cutting our daughter’s long, shiny blonde hair. I steadfastly refuse. Currently it is all one length, and I would like it to stay that way until my daughter (who is now 4) is old enough to choose a hairstyle she would like. I figure this way she can go in any direction without needing to grow her hair out. As for my son, he’s 7 weeks old and now shedding baby hair, so he’s kind of not an issue, but when the time comes I’ll happily turn over the reins to my husband because what the heck do I know about mens’ hair cuts. As long as it’s not a mullet or rat tail, I won’t care. Thankfully DH is on the same page!

  • Samantha M Gale

    I find it interesting that the author refers throughout to “her” son, even though all indications are that the fiancé is the father.

  • rebecca

    We usually let it grow out in the winter, Mohawk in the spring,then short.and preppy for summer. Then we just let it grow til spring:) for all those crying kids with long hair I’d recommend went brush. My daughter calls it her magic brush and sits nice and quiet with it.

    • rebecca

      That’s supposed to say aWet brush. Not went :)

  • rccola

    my husband and i totally agree on how we are styling our soon to be born sons hair. buzz cut. i have worked with kids under 5 for 17 years and have seen way too many terrible looks and styles on young boys because their parents cant seem to figure out that most of them should just get a close shave….thats my opinion anyway. clearly i am no expert on boys hair ;)

  • dfg