• Thu, Jan 10 2013

STFU Parents: The Naked Truth About Children And Nudity On Social Media

STFU Parents“They grow up so fast…” Indeed, they do. One minute this little stinker is using the toilet naked, and the next he’s seeking therapy after discovering the image online. Time flies!

Share This Post:
  • Danielle

    Oh, the baby fell behind the couch! Let me take a picture before I help my child!
    What is WRONG with people?

  • Amanda

    I usually keep my grammar annoyances to myself, but I cannot handle the ridiculously terrible English in every single comment on picture of the two boys. It is killing me.

  • April

    Holy shit that baby on the second page is HUGE!

    • justhypatia

      Comparing the baby’s head and shoulders with the (I’m assuming) nurse’s wrist and hand, I think #2 comes down mostly to camera angle. Unless the nurse also has freakishly large appendages.

  • Jenni

    Just so you know, both of my nephews were large babies. The first one was 9 lbs and something ounces (who can ever remembers the ounces?) and the second was 10 and a half pounds. As a newborn! The oldest just turned two and looks like a 4 year old and the youngest will turn 1 this year and is already wearing 24 month old clothes. Makes it so I never want to have these hulk sized babies with my husband.

    • StephKay

      If it makes you feel any better my grandmother had five babies, every single one of which was 10-12 pounds at birth (she’s a type one diabetic), I was an 8lb 7oz 23 inch preemie an entire month early so I probably would have gotten up there had I gone term (no diabetes excuse there, I’m just a freak of nature. I wasn’t even a pre-term labor early baby, they had to call a pre-term c-section because of my size and the fact my poor mother survived a uterine rupture during her previous delivery. I STILL required surgery for hip dysplasia because I was so massive so early that my joints couldn’t develop properly while squished in there) and my husband is 6’4″ tall and 250 lbs and went up past his mothers waist by the time he was three. My babies? Girl child was 7lbs 3oz and 19 inches when she was born at 39 weeks plus three days, and boy child isn’t due for another 12 weeks but is expected to weigh 7lbs 14oz by 40 weeks if he stays on the same percentile in his growth chart. Proof that it’s possible to defy genetic history and have average sized babes. Thank god too, despite being quite possibly the worlds largest preemie I grew up to weigh maybe 115 soaking wet at 5’8″, I was petrified of being split in half by ginormous hulk babies too.

  • Tonicakes

    Do people not understand that there are actually people out there looking for these kinds of pictures? Posting a photo online means someone unintended can find it, and then your precious innocent picture is in the hands of someone terrible.

    • Powers

      … and what could Mr. Terrible do with that picture that could ever harm a child?

    • Mari

      So, would you be okay with a kid sexual predator having the pictures of your children on his computer?

    • Powers

      Unless that information gets out to me somehow, I don’t see how it could possibly have any effect on my life.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1165875627 Jennifer Ives O’Meara

      I’m sorry, you are either retarded or a troll. Probably both. Never breed, never post pics ever.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1165875627 Jennifer Ives O’Meara

      And Tonicakes, you nailed it exactly. Why are we the only ones to understand this very simple yet obvious answer.

    • lea

      Was it necessary to be so nasty?

      I agree with Powers in a sense. If a paedophile somehow got hold of an innocent picture of a child without the child or parent every finding out- no harm would be done to the child or the parent.

      It has got to the point where paedophile paranoia is so out of control, that a parent can’t photograph their own child at the pool or beach.

      Do people really think that if there were no photos of little kids naked or in bathing costumes, that we’d have no paedophiles?

      I would never post any of the picture shown, but because I respect my child’s privacy, not out of fear.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1165875627 Jennifer Ives O’Meara

      Yes it was, call me immature, call me any name in the book I simply do not care. Its this whole “well what i dont know so it doesnt affect me” response that literally angered me to the point of name calling. I dont post naked photos of my children on line because it is a huge invasion of privacy, and because yes there are pedo bears everywhere (im talking to you powers) they are everywhere, and you just don’t know it. It’s not like they wear a sign. We have seen time & time again, they are our neighbors, our teachers, even our clergy, and unfortunately they are family members. I don’t know who they are, so just like I lock my doors at night, I keep naked pictures of my babies off the web. It should honestly be a no brainer. So please stop wasting everyones time arguing that it doesnt affect you, or the notion of a pedo bear having access to your photos is absurd.

    • Powers

      It’s difficult to take seriously anyone who uses the phrase “pedo bear” unironically.

    • Jenna

      I never thought there could be a term for “pedophile” that made them sound like downright adorable human beings… but then you whipped out “pedo bear” and proved me wrong.

    • http://avatarsankh.blogspot.com/ Xyzzy

      @6f46a40f871dea23cbb69ea0ef0af264:disqus

      “Pedo bear” (or rather, Pedobear) isn’t a term for a pedophile — it’s actually an old Internet meme that has been used for years to shame/mock a person for pedophilic or semi-pedophilic comments or behavior, or ironically when someone shows excessive fear that strangers (but not family/friends) are all pedos out to get their kids. There’s an interesting little explanation/history of how Pedobear came about here.

    • Makabit

      Is it especially risky to post these? I tend to doubt it’s more dangerous than posting photographs of clothed children with information that might make them ‘findable’. As you clearly know, we’re often talking about people who may well be your own friends or family, people your child knows and trusts. If, God forbid, you’ve got a pedophile in your circle of friends, family and trusted others, that’s the threat, not whether they’ve seen a picture of your child naked on Facebook.

    • Annie

      If you’re an adult and want to post naked pictures of yourself online, nakedness generally being a personal thing, that’s fine; posting naked pictures of children on social media invites strangers into that metaphorical personal space.

    • Corey

      Someone could fixate on your child and find out where you live quite easily. That’s how.

    • Powers

      They can do that whether the image shows nudity or not. But of course, that possibility is so vanishingly unlikely that it’s absurd to even entertain the notion.

    • nikki753

      1. Predators almost always work up to truly heinous crimes. They don’t often remain satisfied just looking at pictures. Don’t need to contribute to their image bank.

      2. Imagine being an adult and now realizing that there are naked pictures of you that creeps are getting their jollies from. Not okay.

      Being a parent means protecting your child. I hope you aren’t trying to rationalize pictures you’ve posted. If it isn’t a picture that you would be comfortable with if the photo were of you – don’t post it.

    • Powers

      Well, thanks for at least trying to answer my question. But I still don’t see anything here from which a child needs to be protected. There are more than enough reasons not to post these pictures without conjuring up bogus boogeymen who are just waiting for a kid’s butt to show up on their newsfeeds.

    • Victoria

      If your argument is that pedophiles using online naked children’s pictures for sexual gratification is a victimless crime, then…I’d have to say that there’s an internationally cooperating group of law enforcement who’d disagree. It’s just common sense that one mom’s “Aww” pictures of her nakkie kid is another creeper’s download. It’s not about baseless fears, just good taste and logic.

    • Powers

      I agree with you on taste, but I don’t see much logic being employed here. Going after child porn purveyors is worthwhile because they can and do cause actual harm to actual children.

      If your only point is that “naked pictures can spread online”, then I certainly agree that’s a bad outcome. But you don’t have to invoke the spectre of pedophiles to make that case.

    • Victoria

      Then, in a round-about way, we agree. I think it’s wrong, because it’s a parent’s job to nurture and protect their offspring from being vulnerably exposed to unwilling/unsympathetic eyes (not necessarily sexual deviants; even many family members don’t want to see genitalia or nakedness of other’s children). You can think it’s wrong only because it offends the sensibilities of your aesthetics. But I don’t think you’ll find many who agree that pedophilia is merely a ‘spectre’ which is only invoked like a monster under the bed by hysterical moms. Lots of people have experienced it firsthand, and it’s insensitive to invalidate the (completely reasonable sounding) concerns raised by the previous commenters by denying the logic that it exists as a potential issue.

    • Powers

      I think we disagree on how much pedophile paranoia is reasonable. The vast, vast, vast majority of sexual offenses against children are from people known to (and often trusted by) the family, not mysterious strangers from the Internet.

    • Littlecalamari

      My first concern over posting naked pictures of my kids online would not be paedophiles, but rather school bullies. Knowing how vulnerable teenagers are, the parents who post bully ammo online, could very well be responsible for making their kids teenage years a living hell.

    • Victoria

      No, I’d agree with that, entirely. I just wouldn’t discount it, and poo-poo the people that acknowledge it. While there are people that go off the deep end with paranoia, a measured response is responsible behavior.

    • waffre

      Yes, but people known to and trusted by the family are likely to be friends with them on Facebook…

    • Makabit

      True, but the risk having a pedophile on your Facebook feed is that it is more likely this person already has access to your child in real life. That is a terrifying thought. “OMG, a pedophile might see this picture,” is kind of beside the point.

    • Cat

      The internationally cooperating group of law enforcement might also suggest that online pictures of actual sexual abuse (ie not kids who are happily hanging out naked) of children is their real concern. This abuse which is at the heart of actual child pornography is what should exercise us all rather than the sort of pearl clutching hysteria about potential paedophiles on social media that I’m seeing in some of the comments here. The people indulging in moral panic would do well to find out a bit more about a) the prevalence of paedophilia and b) the methods by which paedophiles groom their victims and their victims’ families. For the record, i believe posting pictures of your kids naked is disrespectful and dangerous because it suggests that you don’t support the idea that their bodies are theirs. But I also believe that calling people ‘retarded’ because you got angry says a lot about you. And none of it is good. And as for ‘Pedo bear’ … well, nope, nothing makes that ok.

  • lou

    These parents disgust me more than any oversharer. If you have naked pics of your baby, keep them in an album. Nothing on FB or the internet is private – NOTHING – and you’re a fool to think your pictures will only ever be seen by friends.
    I feel so much sympathy for babies. They’re the first generation to have this done to them, and it’s awful. Do parents not realise that the internet is forever? I don’t think they do.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=638909114 Jennifer Neugebauer

    Someone I know posted pro-photos of her <1 yr old daughter naked and in pin-up poses (Legs in the air, etc). Her friend's 'pro' facebook site, which the pics were shared from is public. When I raised my concern I was unfriended. :(

    • goofyjj

      That kid is going to need a lot of therapy

    • AP

      “Pro” meaning “prostitute”? So a bunch of johns got free kiddie porn? That’s awful.

    • http://www.cafepress.com/ladycrim ladycrim

      I’m guessing it’s “professional”. So not just a candid shot, but an actual posed ‘boudoir shot’ in a studio.

    • Littlecalamari

      Boudoir shots of a one year old?? Isn’t that the very definition of child porn?

    • Vigina Vadgesty

      Wow, that is beyond disgusting. Reminds me how Kim Kardashian said she posed for Playboy because her mom pushed her to…

  • Jay

    Nothing about the actions of these idiot parents is ok. Nothing at all. I just can’t…

  • http://www.facebook.com/helen.donovan.31 Helen Donovan

    A good rule of thumb – if you would go all “momma bear” on your friend for posting the picture or if the police would arrest them for posting the picture, YOU should not post the picture.
    Also, what is it with the nuts look like fruit? Apricot balls sounds like one of those cocktails with the dumb names like Screaming Orgasm, Slippery Nipple, or Blue Balls. Are the kids orange & purple or are these parents just 100 proof ass holes?.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592188905 Bran Chesterton

    I don’t need to know anything about your child “dribbling”, with or without pictures.

  • Powers

    It should be illegal to post any nekkid pictures over the explicit objection of the person depicted. Even if they’re 4.

  • http://twitter.com/MariamWatt Mariam Watt

    That mom better pray she’s never in a custody suit. I’m pretty sure any child explaining to the court how their mommy took naked pictures of them and published them on the internet is a ticket to supervised visitation only.

    • Leigha7

      I don’t know. I read about an artist who painted his two young daughters naked on a regular basis while they were growing up. Now he’s dead, the girls are adults, and the paintings are showcased by the college he taught at. The girls asked for the paintings to be removed because they were uncomfortable with it and were flat out told no (which, quite frankly, should be illegal).

      I know that has nothing to do with custody battles in any way, but it does show that sometimes people couldn’t care less about displaying pictures of children naked against their wishes. Add that to the extreme bias towards giving mothers custody and, well…who knows what would happen in that situation?

  • Mari

    This is wrong on so many levels! Who wants to see pics of their friend’s naked babies anyway? and I am sure the family, even if it’s far away, will be able to live without seeing the baby naked. My parents never took a naked picture of me as a baby or as a child, and we all survived, healthy and without the need of therapy as adults.

  • Hibbie

    5is the worst. Parents should be teaching kids that their bodies are their own, and that no one has a right to do anything that makes them uncomfortable in relation to their bodies. This includes posting pictures, especially when the child has expressed their wishes against doing just that.

    • Annie

      Yeah, that one made my heart hurt.

  • Monica

    The fact that anyone would post a naked picture of a first grader is disgusting, repulsive, and about six dozen other words of a similar nature. I really hope whoever sent you that shot also reported her friend to facebook.

  • Liawen

    that woman that posted a pic of her kid even though the kid said no, i really hope she gets the same treatment, except to every site that lets you upload photos. then she can see for herself how funny it is to embarrass someone that way.

  • Eileen

    All this talk of naked pictures belonging in albums…I showed my boyfriend my “baby book” after we’d been going out a few months, the first time I’d looked at it in years. There was ONE picture in which I was taking a bath in the sink (genitals out of vision), and in every single other picture I had on at least a diaper. And this is a private family album, made by grandma, shown only to people who seen me change clothes at the very least – family, close friends, etc. It’s not suffering from lack of crotch shots. I don’t see why these pictures need to be taken, let alone put online. And any mom who puts naked pictures of her kids online after they’ve explicitly said don’t is a horrible mother.

    • Kaylee E

      Oh I don’t know, my mum has a couple of cute naked pics of me and my sister’s running under the hose or stomping around in dad’s football boots as toddlers. Naked photos are fine – kids spend a lot of time undressed. Its the posting on facebook thing that’s horrible.

  • katydid0605

    #2, that is an absolutely gigantic newborn. granted all three of my kids were tiny, but stilll…#6, wrong, just wrong. I also have a 6 yeard old, not only would he be very upset, but i would never do this to him

  • Daisy

    Would it be possible to post the STFUParents columns as a slideshow like some of the other articles, rather than 10 separate pages? Reloading the whole page every time takes a lot longer, especially when it’s 10 pages and not just 4 or 5. Just an idea.

    • Rebecca

      yes! This drives me nuts! There are better ways to do it!

    • STFUParents

      I’m assuming my editor saw this comment, but I’ll send it to her just in case. :)

    • RCIAG

      Ditto, I hate it too.

    • Jessica

      I agree. I am anti facebook and anti pics of children on social media naked or fully clothed. I also would have like this in slide show format instead of loading each individual page from my smartphone.

  • whiteroses

    1) If you see a picture of a friends newborn and the first place your mind goes is “I thought you had him circumcised OMG” then there is something truly wrong with you. Even if you’re related to aforementioned newborn- there would still be something wrong with you. I get the whole intactivist movement but I find other people’s avid interest in baby genitalia disturbing.

    2) If your kid asks you not to post a photo of them online, you don’t do it. Period. Especially if they’re naked- but if they’re fully clothed and making a stupid face and they ask you not to post something, you still don’t post it. The Internet is forever. The only pictures of my son that have ever been posted online are ones where he is fully clothed, but I guess I’m just old-fashioned that way.

    3) Help the poor kid out from behind the couch. If you absolutely must post a picture, do it of her after you get her unstuck. The fact that this parent apparently Instagrammed a photo of her daughter in an uncomfortable position is sad and depressing.

    • AP

      #1 Bothered me too! Who are they to judge what medical procedures they did or did not do to the child? Unless the parents are also intactivists, that’d be an automatic defriend.

    • whiteroses

      Yeah, the second someone acted like my son’s penis was any of their business, I’d immediately block them from all social media. At some point, that baby will be a grown man, possibly Google himself, and for all we know Facebook could be logging all past posts even as we speak. A profile isn’t a vault, people. I rarely if ever post pics of my son, and the only reason why I do is because his father is on the other side of the world and never checks his fragging email.

  • goofyjj

    ALL nude photos should be banned from Facebook, no exceptions. I get it – your kid is cute (to you) but this should really be an all or nothing rule. That way there’s no grey area.

    If someone can’t give approval or EXPLICITLY asks you not to post a picture, then have some manners and don’t post it. I get that infants cannot “approve” their pictures. And the one or two when they are just born – I can see making a private album for friends and family. But as other posters have stated – the internet is forever. You wouldn’t want pictures of yourself online as “future blackmail” why the HELL would you do that to your kid – who you allegedly love and care about.

  • AP

    Does anyone wonder what’s going on in #6 with Karen and the “pine cone” her friends are referencing? I’m morbidly curious.

    • STFUParents

      I was glad not to know! ;)

  • nikki753

    Maybe I’m a just in one of those moods but #6 actually made me a little misty. That poor child. Who does that to someone they love? Are they really that stupid or is it mean? It’s one thing (still not good but not as bad) when they’re fat little babies but when you can actually kind of see muscles and it’s not a baby but rather a small person… What in the world could he have done where that might be an appropriate ‘payback’? Can’t think of anything. Even heinous crimes at that age should be faced with treatment rather than this messed up punishment.

    As far as #2. That is a gigantic newborn and the angle and everything, she looks like Benjamin Button’s sister got drunk, took all of her clothes off, and passed out.

    There are cute naked moments for little kids. In a family album, the barn one would be kind of cute. There’s one of my sister in my dad’s giant cowboy boots and I don’t remember what else on the toilet that is actually kind of funny – but it’s stored just at my parents’ house – not on the Internet for everyone to keep and copy.

    I get that there are plenty of parents who do everything in their power to protect their children from creeps and things still happen to them. But how about everyone just starts out with not rolling out the red carpet for creeps?

    • Victoria

      That mom is beyond petty. To feel like you need to get some kind of vengeance or payback on your child through public humiliation…and to post it stating specifically that it was done for payback. She needs help. I hope for the kid’s sake she gets it.

    • ODBeckster

      I’m assuming that he filmed a secret sex tape of her, or at least a shower cam, which he then live streamed to the web. Otherwise, she is a terrible human being.

  • Stephanie

    My niece is potty training. Instead of posting a picture of her on the potty or describing in detail all of her whatnots in the potty, my sister posted a picture of her with a HUGE ice cream sundae. The caption was something along how this was her enjoying a reward for no accidents that day. I’m thankful my sister has some common decency and thinks about not posting nude photos of her on the internet.

  • wormfood33

    i have a facebook “friend” who has a whole folder for her young son who has a thing for nudity. he’s about 4-5. i was going to screengrab and submit, but i will admit that it felt too weird. didn’t want those photos on my hard drive!

  • Monstrous Turtles

    These photos are like the trashy embarrassing cousin of the Anne Geddes family.

  • OnionButt

    What I find scary is that I just “no” that if Hannah were ok with her mom taking naked pictures of her they’d be posted on FB along with her brothers’ photos – even though Hannah is old enough to have her own FB account.

    Also, I took Hannah’s comment as not just saying she’s more tan because she gets out more but that her mom needs to get out more/aka get a damn life.

  • allison

    There are two reasons I won’t post potty training pics (or any mention of potty training at all, actually) of my kid on facebook – first, because the vast majority of people do not want to see anyone on a toilet/taking a dump/peeing because gross, and second because i’ve got a ton of crunchy-granola moms on my list who do ‘elimination communication’ and have been bragging about their potty-trained infants since their kids were like 4 months old. My 21 month old seems delayed in comparison. Sigh.

    Yeah, we’ve got some nekkid photos of the kid (because kids are naked a lot) but i’d never post them online, no matter how adorable the photo of her wearing a playstation controller as a scarf and nothing else is.

    There’s also something to be said about this whole trend of talking about how big your son’s junk is. What’s that about? Does it fill you with some kind of misguided pride? I don’t talk about my daughter’s vulva, because that would be weird.

  • Pingback: news item: blogging about your kids ā€“ PAIL Bloggers

  • Pingback: STFU Parents: In Which I Ponder If Privacy On Facebook Even Exists

  • Pingback: Questionable Parenting: Nakedness Edition | stfu beta

  • http://www.ursnowbeautiful.com/ Kait

    This is horrible. D:

  • hannaugh

    And of course these people probably don’t realize that facebook now owns all of these images of their naked kids, and can sell them if they want to. It’s in the fine print.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

    I found it a little disturbing that the boys told their mom they didn’t want the naked picture on fb and she did it anyway then proceeded to brag and laugh about it.

  • Broobs

    I am uncomfortable with naked babies that aren’t my family. It does not mean i am sexually attracted to them in any way or am a pervert. I am also uncomfortable with named elderly pictures, and nope, not sexually attracted to them either. Would you post a picture of your old, dying, bedridden grandma while she was getting her ass wiped by a nurse? Don’t think so.

  • Sara

    I really HATE #5. Honestly, I understand, they are the mom, and I’ll admit, I’ve put somewhat embarrassing pictures on my Facebook wall before, but never of a naked child, and against their wishes too. Honestly, if they can stand up in a shower and tell you that they don’t want that picture on Facebook, I don’t think you should be taking naked pictures of them anyway. I also am fairly disturbed by the comment “Too bad Hannah is too grown for me to take the same pic of her”, for 2 reasons. 1) It’s almost like she ENJOYS taking these type of pictures of her children and putting it on Facebook a little too much, and 2) The girl was obviously old enough to have a Facebook. No girl 13 or older wants to hear their mom say they wish they could’ve taken a naked picture of their butt.

  • Ritch66

    Thanks so much for writing –I feel bad for these kids. They are too little to consent, and when they are old enough to understand what their parents did are likely to resent not having a say in whether their pics were shared. I hope at least some parents who do this re-think their actions–and I hope you write on this again.

  • Shug

    Sigh. This shit isn’t even laughable, it’s upsetting. Feel so sorry for these kids.