(UPDATED) Boys Will Be Boys And ‘Whores Will B Whores’ – The Parents Of The Steubenville Rape Crew

Screen Shot 2013-01-03 at 11.02.06 AMI’ve written about how the parents of the Steubenville rape victim, the Jane Doe in this case, must be feeling. After the video showing Michael Nodianos, a former Steubenville High student and baseball player, laughing his head off and cracking jokes about how the victim was “deader than Caylee Anthony” went viral yesterday, I started wondering about how the parents of the Steubenville “Rape Crew” were feeling. The parents of Nodianos haven’t made a statement to the press, possibly because of the nature of the case being an ongoing investigation. For those of you who couldn’t stomach watching the video, Holly Briley has an example of Nodiandos’ opinion via Twitter.

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Ma’lik Richmond‘s parents have both been vocal about the case. Ma’lik, who has been released on bail and had his case moved to the juvenile system, has been charged with rape. He currently resides with foster parents in Steubenville:

Daphne Birden, Richmond’s mother, said she allowed Greg and Jennifer Agresta to assume guardianship of her son because of medical conditions when Richmond was about 8 years old.

Ms. Birden has voiced her opinions on the case on Facebook:

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I suppose it’s admirable in a sense that this mother wants to stick up for her son, but it’s also rather horrifying this mother wants to stick up for her son, considering he “allegedly” raped an unconscious girl. Ma’lik’s father, Nathaniel Richmond, has said this about his son:

“I am speaking on behalf of my son, Ma’lik, when I ask you to not rush to a personal judgment. He is a good child, an outstanding student and a credit to Steubenville High School. I ask you to let justice prevail,” stated Richmond.

“If you believe in God, pray for Ma’lik and Trent Mays. These are false charges, and they are innocent of the charges put upon them,” said Richmond.

“Today is Aug. 28, the anniversary of the March on Washington where Martin Luther King Jr. fought for the rights of everyone. I ask you to pray Ma’lik gets a fair trial. And do not believe the propaganda printed in the newspaper to sell papers,” Richmond said before leaving the council meeting.

And from Holly Briley’s website, he also stated this on Facebook:

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I have a teenager. I am trying to raise him to be a good man, a man who would never consider having sex with a woman without her direct permission, a man who doesn’t call women “sluts” or “whores”, a man who if he saw a young girl passed out at a party would either protect her or call an adult for help. Because of this case I’ve been speaking to my son about what he should do if he encounters someone at a party who has had too much to drink. I think a lot of parents have.

I don’t think I will ever be in the situation where my son would be accused of rape or an accessory to rape or he would be the type of kid to film a rape or tweet about a rape or make a video laughing his ass off about a raped girl. I am doing everything in my power to raise a kid who would never do any of the above.

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    • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

      This whole mess is disgusting. And you’re right…as a parent, you teach your kids, you stick with them, you see them off. And if they ever do anything in this light – even if they’re innocent, but align themselves with the perpetrators of something like this – you don’t begin to pop off about the situation. You punish them, you talk to them (but not the media and holy shit, not to social media), but you don’t publicly defend them – especially in the way that the “Nevada disrespect” mom did.

      As usual, it boils down – not to the conversations we’re having, but clearly, to the conversations we’re not having with our kids.

      • whiteroses

        This. SO much this. I, too, am trying to raise a son who’s an actual man- the type of person who would respond to a situation like this by saying, “What the f are you doing”, step in, and immediately call for help. Nodianos and Richmond- and their parents- have a lot to answer for. I would argue that every single person- boy or girl- who stood by and let this happen also shoulders a small amount of the blame.

        It’s not admirable that any parent in this situation would want to stick up for their son. It’s horrifying and terrible. And there’s nothing “alleged” about this. When you have at least four forms of social media and pictures about any given situation, chances are good that it did actually happen. 1) If your son rapes someone, you have failed. And you should be utterly ashamed. 2) This is not about race or social justice. If you rape someone, you should pay- no matter what color you are. 3) This girl is, at the very least, going to have a lifetime of trust issues. Unless she has a very strong sense of self-worth, a supportive family, and an excellent therapist, I would be surprised if she’s able to become a functional adult. Considering all that, jail time for these guys seems inadequate.

        It pisses me off that Richmond’s father brought Dr. Martin Luther King into this. Dr. King would be utterly horrified, because he was a decent person, and I sincerely doubt he’d want to be lumped in with these people. “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.” Or, let me break this down further. “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

    • Lawcat

      Just reading the comments from the parents and coach….ugh. These boys were doomed from the start. However, I wouldn’t put much stock into what Richmond and Birden have to say. I’d be more inclined to hear from the Agresta’s since they’ve been raising him the past 8-9 years.

      However, I think it’s easy to say what you would do when you haven’t *actually* been put in that situation.

      When a friend or a family member does something wrong, I think it’s natural to get defensive. To protect your loved ones. To look at the life they’ve lead up until that point and say they were good people. It’s almost if you have to go through stages of acceptance – blame the victim, blame others, talk about how they couldn’t have done something – before you do some soul searching and realize that your loved ones aren’t perfect, they’re human, they are capable of hurting someone, and that they may have done something unspeakable. At least, in dealing with people whose loved ones have been in trouble, that’s what I’ve found.

      But, I think while you’re grappling with that….you don’t pop off in a public forum. “Nevada” take it to social media! Just remain publicly silent on the matter because you’re not going to look good. Especially in this case where there’s some pretty disturbing evidence.

      • Justme

        That’s exactly what I was going to say – the first reaction is defensive. Especially with children because they tend to be a reflection of yourself. Doesn’t make it right but I suppose it’s part of the process….just make sure you don’t broadcast it to the nation, especially in such an infamous case such as this.

      • http://chrissmari.org ChrissMari

        calling a child a whore is never acceptable no matter what stage of grief they’re in. I know you’re not saying it is. To me, there’s a difference between getting defensive and being a horrible person.

      • Justme

        Yes, Richmond’s birth mother called the young girl a “whore” but based on her ridiculous FB posting, I couldn’t take anything she said seriously.

      • meg

        Fairly certain she meant it, seriously. If she ISN’T taking this whole thing seriously, she’s got her own issues …

      • Justme

        She can mean it as seriously as she wants but as long as she posts on FB in the manner that she did (non-sensical ramblings with no regard for sentence structure or spelling) I am not going to pay attention to what she has to say.

    • Fabel

      The girl was CLEARLY passed out during these acts, & yet she still gets called a whore. What the fuck. Obviously everything about this is horrific, but seriously? People still can’t stop blaming the girl, even in THIS SITUATION??

      • JLH

        Didn’t you know? Apparently getting drunk means you are asking for it? I wonder later on in life when those same boys were to get hammered drunk and pass out in college if something happened to them they’d be asking for it?

      • Justme

        Ahh….I’m sure they’ll all join fraternities when (or IF) they go to college and they’ll figure out how their victim felt.

      • http://www.cafepress.com/ladycrim ladycrim

        My freshman year in college, two of my dorm-mates were raped by the same guy. One of them was drunk and passed out for most of it. The rapist got off because the judge said, “If you’re drunk, it’s not really rape.” (No explanation on whether the other incident – wherein the asshole in question grabbed and forced a sober and terrified girl into his bedroom – was “really rape” or not.) This was in 1995, and to this day I am chilled by the thought that this rapist is likely still out there because of an idiot with a gavel.

      • meg

        Two equally-sloshed people having some sort of sketchy, grey-area sex (what most ignorant folks think of when they think of alcohol + sex = OMGRAPE the poor menz!!!11one) make up an eensy, weensy, teensy tiny portion of sexual assaults among young people. The overwhelming – OVERWHELMING – majority of guys who go, “We were drunk! I didn’t mean to rape her!” are men who prey REPEATEDLY and SERIALLY on drunk women. Almost all rapists are repeat rapists.

        It’s a genuinely horrifying fact, and I’m so, so sorry your friends had to have that experience. People need to know: it isn’t an accident, and it isn’t a one-time thing.

        Makes it even more chilling, to know that if The Rape Crew did this to one young woman, how many more are out there, silent?

      • scp1957

        It may well be that the majority of such incidents were committed by such men, but that can seriously skew lower the issue of dual non-consent.

      • jessica

        Exactly. And FYI I read in a few articles that the victim here was the ex-girlfriend of one of the players (not one of the 2 who were eventually arrested and charged, but a close friend of theirs) and this whole incident was designed to humiliate her for breaking up with him. If this is true… I mean wow. That adds a whole new level of f-ed up to this whole story. Someone with that kind of mentality will absolutely continue to offend. Over and over. He needs to face some kind of recriminations for his actions so he can get it through his head that that type of behavior is not okay and the earlier in his life the better to protect other girls and women he may come in to contact with in the future. Basically, while I get that this are high school kids we are talking about, letting them get away with it due to some “boys will be boys” sentiment is not acceptable here.

      • scp1957

        That was a rapist with a gavel. Man or woman, 20-1 that they’ve masturbated to their entire “adventure” more than once. (Rape fantasy is big among women. Think not? Reread “50 Shades of Gray” as it was intended, as child molestation.)

      • http://www.cafepress.com/ladycrim ladycrim

        Never read it, never intend to, will never see what my roommate and other women find so damn exciting about it.

      • Petranella

        that scenario is all too common, even in 2013.

      • Petranella

        I guess it is only boys and men who can get shit faced drunk with impunity.

      • operasara

        I don’t think there’s any way that it was just alcohol. I’m betting they put something in her drink. If she was truly that bad on just alchohol I’d imagine that she’d need to be hospitalized.

      • Everybodhi

        Roofies, favorate drug of the “rape crew”.

      • DorothyP

        But she brought a bottle of vodka with her, when her mom dropped her off. Three strong drinks later, she’s out of it. Probably didn’t take very much alcohol at all.

      • Leah

        Teenagers suck at drinking, because they have no experience with their limits.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7BEXSFRW32POZTOTDHVO3JKMRI peter h

        People who make excuses for gang raping pedophiles deserve to be exterminated there is no place for them in society we should not have to tolerate this any longer.

      • kelly

        I’d love to know who thumbs downed this comment. This guy is right. NO ONE, not even the rapists’ parents should make an excuse for these animals. Your right, there is no place for them in our society.

      • bern1417

        If you think that’s passed out you’re a moron.. That’s drugged up like a mother fucker..

    • http://twitter.com/HollysHere Holly Briley

      As a mother I would blame myself, even if in my mind I knew it wasn’t my fault. I would feel that somehow I failed my child while raising them. Then I would take them by the hand and march their butts to the nearest police station and turn them in. And if they wouldn’t go, I’d call and have them picked up. Its not an easy thing to do, but its the right thing to do. We cant coddle and protect our children from the consequences of their behavior, all we can do it love them and see them through the legal process. To do otherwise we not only do a disservice to our children, but to society.

      • Justmyopinion

        I disagree that if you were the parent, it wouldn’t be your fault. I would say at some level you failed as a parent.

      • Leigha7

        That isn’t always true. Some people are just sociopaths. There are people who deliberately go out of their way to cause harm and pain to other people, for the fun of it, and many (by no means all) of those people come from what seem like perfectly ordinary families, and have perfectly ordinary siblings who would never dream of doing such things. I have no idea why–as far as I know, no one does–but it isn’t ALWAYS the parents’ fault. Some people are just naturally screwed up, sadly.

      • whiteroses

        Maybe. But clearly, these boys have been raised to believe (or at least one of them has) that nothing they do is wrong. That’s parenting failure in its purest form- when you try to keep your children from ever experiencing the consequences of their actions, and not only that but you never tell them that they’re wrong. With the athletic culture being what it is, something like this is unfortunately no surprise. It needs to stop, but it’s no surprise.

        Possibly the only good thing to come out of this is that it might make someone else think twice before trying it. But, again, it should never have happened in the first place- and someone should have explained to these boys (I refuse to call them “young men” and dignify them in that way) that when you do something, good or bad, you have to answer for it.

    • BB

      This is beyond disgusting but reading these comments by these nearly illiterate parents, I have no doubt the apple isn’t falling far from the tree. What the hell was that woman even trying to say??? I love my son “to the moon” and back but here is what I would say if I found out he was on video like the other boy: I realize today despite my best efforts I failed as a parent. I feel ashamed, saddened and disgusted both with myself and my son. I feel I have failed society, myself and him. This behavior is unacceptable. I can only hope there is enough time for change and that he will realize how horrendously wrong his behavior and actions have been.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/6CVK4SPGWHDJCSRYKWOK5ILCAA My Own Compass

        I believe that even illiterate parents have done a better job than this btch. She, the father, and the foster parents all need to commit suicide.

      • Justme

        Obviously somewhere along the way there were important lessons in compassion, respect and right vs. wrong that did not sink in with these boys. But telling someone to kill themselves is very dangerous and disrespectful to those people who have suffered a devastating loss of a loved one to suicide. Condemn these parents all you want for raising children who commit monstrous acts like this, but suggesting they (or anyone for that matter) kill themselves is disgusting and despicable.

      • scp1957

        From whom would they have learned such lessons? If these two clowns are anything by which to go, then they and the world would’ve been far, far better off had their parents been aborted–at any point from their own conception until the moment before that of their children.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7BEXSFRW32POZTOTDHVO3JKMRI peter h

        Killing themselves would be doing society a great favor these people make and then support and protect filthy monsters, death to all gang rapists and the filth that have the nerve to call themselves parents.

      • KK

        Do not say that. It is inappropriate and makes you no better than those that are attacking the victim in this case.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7BEXSFRW32POZTOTDHVO3JKMRI peter h

        There is nothing wrong with sentencing filthy rapists to what they deserve.

      • Spiderpigmom

        This just in, being illiterate doesn’t have anything to do with having a basic sense of morals and human decency. These parents could have said basically the same thing in elegant, grammatically correct English. And many illiterate parents are decent people who would never pull this kind of crap.

    • Justme

      First of all…..you said “I don’t understand how these kids turned out how they did.” You read the parents remarks – that will show you EXACTLY how these kids turned out the way that they have thus far.

      As a general rule, I truly believe that most apples don’t fall that far from the tree.

      I cannot even imagine how I would react to this situation if my son was involved (or if my daughter was involved in something equally as disgusting). I think as parents we definitely want to see the best in our children because they are a direct reflection of ourselves. BUT to have my teenager associated with something so degrading and horrific living under my roof….it makes me sick to my stomach. I probably wouldn’t make ANY sort of statement to the public, instead close up ranks, cooperate with the police and make an appointment with a family counselor?! I guess that would be the right course of action? Hard to say.

      And finally, if it didn’t deal with such an awful event….I’d say the FB post made by Richmond’s mother probably belongs on STFU Parents.

      • scp1957

        And Daddy Nathaniel’s on STFU Racist Negro.

    • Carm

      Truth! Tell it, Eve. Thank you.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/6CVK4SPGWHDJCSRYKWOK5ILCAA My Own Compass

      If it were my son I would march his ass down to the police, or turn him in and have the common decency to hang my head in abject shame and misery. I’d add a few more slices to my thigh as punishment. I would know that I had failed as a mother.

    • http://www.facebook.com/auttoiams Autto Iams

      The boys should be given the death penalty! Saddly it is not used by enough states in the US. They will never be anything more than rapist who ultimately will rape other women and probably their own daughters if they ever have them. Trash! Their parents should get the same for defending them and their actions.I hope the victim gets justice and the boys rott in a cell being rapped repeatedly by inmates for many years.

      • meg

        I think these boys are the scum of the earth, a genuine waste of oxygen who deserve to be punished. But wishing someone gets raped for committing rape doesn’t fight rape culture, it perpetuates it. More to the point, it doesn’t negate or undo the original crime. As Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.”

      • meteor_echo

        Death penalty for rape, however? Fine with me. At least they won’t get out of prison and rape anyone again.

      • Leigha7

        I’m sure the sentiment behind it is generally just that people hope they can experience the pain they caused and truly realize what they’ve done. In a way, it’s hard not to get behind that sentiment. But the problem is, in order for that to happen, someone else has to commit the same offense they did, which is extremely problematic. The hypothetical person raping them would have to be the exact same sort of scum they are for raping this girl (and the other girls they most likely have raped, or will if they get the chance, since rape–especially such deliberate rape–is rarely a one-time thing).

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7BEXSFRW32POZTOTDHVO3JKMRI peter h

        I agree with you completely we need to send a message to these disgusting wastes of life that if they rape our children we will cut their eyes and tongues out of their disgusting trash heads.

    • scp1957

      All I’ve got to say is that Nathaniel’s parents are both “credits to their race”. Take a bow!

      • meg

        Why do we have to make this about race? Rape transcends ethnicity …

      • KatieAnnieOakley

        And it is readily apparent that you are not to yours… take a bow.

      • The_Bobs

        Maybe you should have thought twice before posting a comment that makes you appear to be both a racist and an idiot. (Nathaniel is one of the parents, not one of the students.)

    • HollyDee

      This is by far, the most shocking article I’ve read so far. It’s impossible not to tear up. I’m fighting them back. So sad ……… :(

    • KatieAnnieOakley

      Looks like Ma’lik’s mother is a real, true follower / devotee of the bible. Too bad she just doesn’t “get” the WWJD part of it.

    • http://twitter.com/shailey_tripp Shay Tripp

      Boys Will Be Boys a book by S. Tripp amazon.com, bam.com read it people read it!!!

    • http://twitter.com/NukeAngel NukeAngel

      Is that mother retarded? That’s an honest question. Maybe she should take her dopey ass back to kindergarten and learn how to form a sentence if she’s going to ramble on in defense of her rapist son.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7BEXSFRW32POZTOTDHVO3JKMRI peter h

        Hopefully she jumps out a window.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7BEXSFRW32POZTOTDHVO3JKMRI peter h

      I hope that God has someone put these filthy animals along with their disgusting parents in a bon fire, they deserve to suffer for the rest of their days. I hope someone gets them.

    • kelly

      I have two older brothers, 29 and 26, who both played football and baseball, and have had the same group of friends since tee ball. They have always kept each other out of trouble. I could never imagine either one of them or their friends engaging in this type of behavior and participating in this horrendous crime.

      I truly believe every person who witnessed, participated, photographed, posted, tweeted, recorded, and laughed about this crime is guilty. They did this at three separate locations to the victim, and in the car on the way to their destinations. It could have been stopped.

      I am not a mother, I’m a 21 year old girl, but I agree with everyone in the sense of when I do have children, I will do my absolute best to raise my son(s) to respect and protect women. My parents have always allowed my sister and brothers and myself to be open and honest with them no matter what the circumstances are. We have all called our parents to pick us up from a party because we didn’t want to drive drunk or have a friend drive drunk either. My mom and dad would be upset but they would pick us up and drop our friends off. If I had been at that party, not only would I have called 911 immediately, I would have called my mom and dad and asked for advice on what to do.

      It amazes me that not one of these kids put a stop to this, or called for help. My parents have always taught us to lead by example instead of being a follower. All of the parents of the kids involved should be ashamed of themselves, for 1. raising a child who would voluntarily participate in a crime of this magnitude, 2. not having an open line of communication with their child so that he/she could come to them and talk. It sickens me how this woman can call a 16 year old child a whore. She was supposedly administered a date rape drug. It allegedly was all planned out to a T. The victim supposedly broke up with one of the boys, and he wrote a month prior to the crime that he will ruin her. He then allegedly had his best friend’s girlfriend to lure her to a party where they immediately gave her the roofie, and the victim claims to be unable to remember anything after that. She found out she was raped the same way the community did. By pictures on facebook, tweets, etc..

      As the mother of this boy said walk a foot in her shoes, I doubt she has thought about her comments made of this victim, and doubt she has thought about being in the victims mother’s shoes. My heart goes out to the victim and her family and I can only pray that this young woman finds the strength to recover and live a happy life. It was not her fault by any means.

    • kelly

      This is a link to extensive and detailed information on what allegedly happened that night. http://localleaks.blogs.ru/2013/01/01/steubenvillefiles/

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    • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

      I just have to write this down on why I think Rapists should get life sentences:
      “A widely published report suggesting a recidivism rate of 52%.”
      But that’s talking about offenders who were reported, let go, then got reported again.

      According to RAINN.org “54% of sexual assaults are not reported to police”

      So if I had my way, these kids would never be free again.

      I mean, it’s one thing to take advantage of a girl while she’s passed out, but it just goes to show that you have no remorse and will do it again and again when they FLAUNT the evidence over the online media. Prison is almost too good for these creatures.

    • Lola

      Boys take cues from their fathers, and the men their mothers bring around. It’s great that you are trying to raise your son to treat women well… but what is your husband doing?

    • Renee1234

      She’s a shitty mother, a shitty person and a failure to society just like her P.O.S. monster son.

    • Arakiba

      The parents of the rapists should be ashamed of themselves for raising criminals.

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    • MichaelNodianosisSCUM

      Dear Lord, that’s the worst spelling and grammar I have ever seen in my life. If you aren’t educated enough to know what no and know means then stop blaming a victim for not being able to say no because I bet you anything she knew what “no” meant where as the mother of a rapist doesn’t.

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    • obidient4u

      I’m not sure these retards would even know how to do it..They’re too lame..Pitiful..

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    • Human286

      Are you serious, DAD??? Your son is accused of rape, is seen in the pic and you are talking about him being a “good child”? IF that is him in the pic, what he did was VERY wrong and he deserves to face the consequences. Rape is rape, i don’t care who you are or how good you’ve been. You made the choice to rape someone, you should face the backlash. Personally, I think all rapist should be castrated. No repeat offenders.