• Mon, Dec 24 2012

Egg Nog? Egg No! Why I No Longer Get Wasted On Christmas Eve

shutterstock_21749851‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring except for me, who was puking my brains up at two a.m. because I “accidentally” got trashed the night before. This was back in the day, when I only had one kid, who was 6 and all too excited for his visit from Santa. Except Santa was reviewing her dinner from the night before.

Now don’t go getting all judgy on me. This has happened to the best of us. When you are a mom, well, for most of us, you don’t drink alcohol that often. You forget how to drink. Your tolerance for booze is nowhere as near as hardcore as it was in college, where you could pound back a few without getting all slurry and sloppy. Moms don’t remember how to drink. One minute you are enjoying a cocktail and the next minute you are vowing to never drink another adult beverage for as long as you live.

We usually go out to eat on Christmas Eve. There is something romantic about eating out the night before Christmas, putting on a pretty dress and going to a nice restaurant, festively decorated for the season, holiday music playing softly in the background. Plus, this means I don’t have to prepare two major meals in a row. Afterwards we drive around and look at Christmas lights. It’s a tradition in my family, and it’s usually a lovely evening. And this evening was no exception. A bottle of wine at dinner, a wonderful meal, tucking my little guy into bed after and then my husband suggesting we have a nightcap while we sat in front of the fire and listened to Christmas music. And that nightcap turning into a few more than one. Christmas is a nostalgic time, we stayed up late drinking and reminiscing, whispering about how excited we were for my son to open his gifts. And then my husband busted out the egg nog.

It’s impossible to party when you are a parent. You can’t be hungover when you have a kid. They talk really loud and expect you to do things, things like not wincing every time they laugh the following morning and making them something for breakfast besides burnt toast. I don’t even like egg nog but this was one of those night when I liked everything. I would have drank a cocktail made from Nyquil and cranberry juice if it would have been offered to me. And it was during the egg nog that I noticed we had more than one Christmas tree, and that it was amazingly blurry. I don’t know if it was the heavy dinner or  the mixture of booze but I suddenly found myself running for the bathroom and choking up candy canes. At least I didn’t vom in the fireplace.

I was rescued by my husband who put me to bed with a few ibuprofen and a glass of water. And then we both woke up a mere hour later to remember we had forgotten to put together my son’s bike. Luckily, my husband let me go back to sleep while he played Santa’s helper by himself, and my son never knew what a wreck his mom was the night before Christmas.

So take it from me, tonight when you raise a toast to the holiday make it just one. There is nothing merry or festive about scrubbing your toilet on Christmas morning.

(photo:  Stephen Mcsweeny /shutterstock)

Share This Post:
  • CrazyFor Kate

    I thought this was going to be judgey, but it seems like more of a cautionary tale than anything. You sound like my kind of mom!

    Like good Anglicans, my parents and I have one sherry after the midnight service, and occasionally my mother, sisters, (grown) nieces and I will share a joint before opening presents. We keep my sister’s grandchildren well away, however, and drunkenness is reserved for Christmas dinner, if at all. There’s no reason not to relax if you keep it balanced!

  • Blooming_Babies

    Ha been there done that… Good on you for learning your lesson, I reserve the fun for after all the “Santa” work is done and by then I’m to tired to have more that two cocktails.

  • LiteBrite

    My dad typically hosts Christmas Eve at night. Usually everyone congregated in the living room and since the alcohol is kept in the basement, no one had more than too much. Well, two years ago, my dad decided to host everything in their newly renovated basement, the one with the fully stocked wet bar. I knew the night would be, uh, interesting, when as we walked in my one BIL yelled, “Get them a drink! We’re top-shelfing it tonight!” By the end of the night the guys were playing Rock Band while singing boozy renditions of the songs, and my brother was in my parents’ bathroom throwing up.

    DH and I stayed relatively sober, DH because he doesn’t like to lose control and me because I knew there would be a very excited 3-year-old boy in our bed way earlier than I typically can handle. It’s one thing to be tired with an active 3-year-old; it’s quite another to be tired and hungover with an active 3-year-old. (I’ve been there.) From what I understand, several members of our family didn’t fare as well the following day and were not allowed a pass out of celebrating.

    Those who know me know I like a cocktail or two (sometimes five), but take it from me: choose your drinking battles wisely.

  • Andrea

    This is all too true. Haven’t been there are Xmas, but for sure I have experienced the feeling of being hangover and having to deal with a squealing toddler. Uuuuuuggggghhhhh. No way could I put myself through that on Xmas morning when they are up way earlier and usually a whole lot noisier.

  • lalala

    Just wait til your kids are the ones getting trashed on Christmas Eve. I got an earful from my mom on the way home from my best friend’s family’s Christmas Eve party because I was around 10 glasses of champagne deep. We’ve been getting trashed every year at the party since we were 15 but this year we’re 21 so we didn’t bother hiding it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/paul.white.3532507 Paul White

    That sounds really, really painful! Ouch.
    I’ve learned; I can do 3-4 drinks and be OK the next day. 5-7 or so and I’ll be a little off but functional. More than that hasn’t happened in a very, very long time.