• Sun, Dec 23 2012

Despite The Fact He Murdered Numerous People, Ryan Lanza Misses His Brother, Adam (UPDATE)

**BREAKING NEWS** Ryan Lanza, brother of Sandy Hook Elementary mass shooting suspect Adam Lanza, is seen in these photos pulled from his Facebook page

 

Ugh you guys, I was duped by the NY Post! And it wasn’t just me, most major news outlets have reported the same story, including The Telegraph.UK.

UPDATE:A spokesman for the Lanza family says an imposter is behind Ryan Lanza’s Facebook page and that Ryan did not post the messages in this story.

So the following news account is not true. I am sure Ryan Lanza feels terrible for the victims and the loss of his family members, but now sources claim he did not make the statements originally quoted. Someone is pretending to be Ryan Lanza. Sheesh, Merry Christmas. That poor guy.

 

My heart breaks for Ryan Lanza, brother of Adam Lanza who was incorrectly identified as the Sandy Hook mass murderer before police discovered it was his younger brother Adam who went on the killing rampage. He has lost his brother, he has lost his mother. He has to live knowing that his brother killed many innocent people. His name will forever be associated with his brother. From the NY Post:

Newtown killer Adam Lanza, who shot dead his mother, six other adults and 20 children, is badly missed by his brother.

“I am a victim,” Ryan Lanza, 24, told The Post yesterday in a Facebook chat. “I loss [sic] my mom and brother.”

In a Facebook photo tribute, Ryan Lanza shared a smiling image of his younger brother, Adam, lounging in a long-sleeved shirt and a pullover tee.

“R.I.P.,” he wrote.

“I will miss you bro. I will always love you as long as I live,” Lanza posted.

“I miss you mom. I love you so much. You will be always in my heart,” he wrote.

It’s a tragic gift that Adam Lanza killed his mother Nancy. I don’t know how a parent could survive if their son committed a crime like this and then killed himself. If it were my own son I couldn’t go on. It would be a crushing, relentless, second by second sense of “mommy guilt.” I think she is probably lucky she is dead. Maybe she could have lived her life and gotten years and years of therapy and had gone on to help the victim’s families, but if it were me, I couldn’t even breathe.

Ryan has joined a few groups on Facebook that are associated with the Sandy Hook massacre.

On Lanza’s Facebook page, one poster wrote that Adam Lanza deserved to “rot in hell” and was the “scum of the earth.”

Ryan Lanza responded sharply to the post.

“I am so tired of people blaming me for something my brother did. I love Adam, his [sic] my brother,” he wrote.

“But you have no right to call my brother names when he isn’t here no more. Just let my brother rest in peace. Please. Respect that.”

I hope Ryan Lanza is getting the help and support he needs in dealing with his own sense of sanity after the tragedy. I’m sure he spends a lot of time wondering if he somehow could have prevented this or if he could have saved his brother from doing something like this. When we remember the victims of Sandy Hook, we also need to remember those affected by this act who are still alive, who are victims just by the fact that they were related to Adam Lanza.

(photo: pacific coast news)

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  • LiteBrite

    Like I’ve said in other articles, I’ve spent a lot of time grieving for the families in Newtown, a lot more than is healthy I think. However, I’ve also spent some time thinking about the Lanza family, particularly Ryan and how horrible this must for him too. When something like this happens, it’s easy to forget the family of the shooter who have to live with the pain that someone they loved was capable of something so heinous.

    Which brings me to this: Can we PLEASE add Nancy Lanza to the list of victims? She was a victim too, so please change the article to 27. Whether you count Adam as a victim is up to you. To be honest, I’m struggling with that one myself.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I hear you, and I respect what you are saying and agree. I can’t change it because it’s a quote from the NY Post. I can make sure I include Nancy in MY reporting though. You are so dear, your comments of the last few days made me cry

    • LiteBrite

      Thanks Eve.

      And to be honest, your articles have made me cry. You’ve written some beautiful, thought-provoking things over the past week.

  • Jay

    Nancy had another kid to care for, and her own life to live. She is not “lucky she is dead.”

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I respect your comment, but think about it, how would you make peace with the whole thing? How would you go on day to day? I can only speak from my POV, and it would be horrible to live after losing my son, and knowing he had taken so many lives. I am only speaking for me.

    • Andrea

      Specially when you think about the fact that he did it with the massive arsenal that you just “had to have”. Because, ya know, this is ‘Merika.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Um yeah, I am sure if she was alive and thinking about how it was her guns it would just add to her feelings of guilt and sadness.

    • Jay

      There are many ways to make peace and do something constructive to help stop it happening again, as well as what I said about the rest of the family still needing a parent. That’s hardly the point. Your suggestion that a victim of a tragic shooting is better off dead is insensitive, to put it mildly.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I really don’t mean to be insensitive. I think if anything I have been a bit too sensitive regarding all of this judging by the amount of tissue I have gone through in the last week. I still stand by the remark that as a parent, it would be extremely hard for me to live after this, especially considering they were my guns that were used.

    • Jay

      It’s fine to say that you, personally, would find it hard to live, as long as you don’t assume the same for other people. That’s the difference. I hope none of us ever have to find out what we’d do.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Exactly, me too. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for moms who have kids who do stuff like that ugh Thank you for your comments and reading

    • Kai

      There is a solid difference between stating that “If I were in her position, I would rather be dead than live knowing my child killed a bunch of people” which is your own feelings, and saying “she’s lucky to be dead” which is projecting your feelings onto her, in a definitely offensive manner, given her death. You may intend to speak of your own feelings, but you did not phrase it that way.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I did phrase it that way. My quote is: “I think she is probably lucky she is dead.” In which I state I THINK, not that she is, I even used the word “probably.” I can’t be any clearer on MY opinion.

  • Andrea

    You know, I feel bad for this man. I respect his grief. But seriously, I do not care that he was sick. I DO NOT hope he rests in peace. I am sorry, but he MURDERED 20 innocent children and 6 adults that were caring for them. A couple of those adults were MURDERED while shielding those innocent souls.

    God grant me some serenity on this, because as of right now, I DO NOT wish Adam Lanza to rest in peace. AT ALL. And if he had survived we would all be clamoring for his blood too. There is ZERO excuse for what he did and the fact that he is dead doesn’t change that.

    Call me whatever names you like, but it is how I feel.

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      I would never call you a name. I think all of us are feeling 3838389 things right now, and over the last week. Your feelings are valid. I think a lot of people feel how you do.

    • http://twitter.com/mariaguido Guerrilla Mom

      I think a lot of people are with you on that.

    • Justme

      I agree with you on the sentiments regarding Adam Lanza, but I also agree with his brother’s position in this whole tragedy. He still has the right to want his brother to “rest in peace” as much as we have the right to hope that he isn’t.

    • Kai

      I’d love to see how a serious mental illness would leave you feeling.
      We don’t know the details, and probably never will, but in this kind of baffling case, it’s far more likely than not that ‘Adam’ did not murder 27 people in any knowing sense and that his brain was completely messed up in one way or another.

    • Andrea

      And I am kinda tired of the whole “he was mentally ill” thing too. Twenty innocent children didn’t need to die because he was a psychopath.

    • Kai

      because you don’t believe he was mentally ill, or because you think the illness was psychopathy, or because mental illness does not excuse killing?
      No, children did not need to die. children should not have died. But the evidence in this case suggests major issues rather than evil.

    • Andrea

      Do they? I’m sorry, but I see nothing but a monster. And the only reason anyone is being sympathetic at all is because he died too. If he hadn’t, we’d all be clamoring for a public hanging in the city square.

  • http://www.facebook.com/paul.white.3532507 Paul White

    I feel for the kid. :( I can’t imagine finding out a family member was a murder.

  • carolyn

    That was still his brother. I feel bad for him. he lsot the only family he kenw as father was absent and just sent loads of money all the time which obviously couldnt save his family. I know and he knows and we all know (goes without saying) that what his brother did was horrible but that’s still his blood brother and I don’t blame him for announcing his love for him. It’s easy to condemn, but harder to imagine yourself in his shoes. You can still love a person without loving their acts. And nbo she wasn’t “lucky” after all her other son still needed her.

  • Ryan Lanza is a Victim

    Again, the media is incorrectly reporting about Adam Lanza. Please support him.
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ryan-Lanza-is-a-victim-too/469262233114989

    • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

      Thank you so much, please see my update above

  • Angela

    I have no idea whether Nancy Lanza would rather have been killed than have to face the terrible truth about her son, especially given that she can no longer give support to her other son who probably is in desperate need of it. I can’t rejoice that she’s dead but I do know that had she survived that her suffering would have been severe and prolonged. I am glad she’s not suffering and I think that’s what you were getting at too.