shutterstock_109675055My son Holt has one inverted nipple. Because he’s only a few months old, I can make fun of this since he has no idea what’s going on.

I call my daughter into his room, yelling, “Who wants to see a weird nipple?” I’m so not freaked out about this. In fact, I kind of like his inverted nipple. I think that imperfections are what make people perfect. But my fiancé is freaked out about Holt’s inverted nipple and has talked to the doctor numerous times.

I’m like, “Who cares?” I did some research on inverted nipples, because, hey, how many times in your life are you going to get the chance to Google search “inverted nipples”?

This is what I learned. Many babies, both boys and girls, are born with inverted nipples. What happens is the tissue underlying the mammary pit (in your unborn baby) does not proliferate as expected and elevate the nipple and areola. Adhesions at the base of the nipple pull the nipple inward (I have no idea what this all means. All I know is that my son has an inverted nipple, but at least there’s a reason for it and it’s quite common.)

Apparently, as a child’s breasts develop, adhesions may stretch and the nipples will extend. Some children’s nipples begin to extend at the time of puberty. Truly inverted nipples are apparently rare. No treatment is needed (as if I’d take my baby to a plastic surgeon and say, “Um, can you make this nipple look like his other nipple?”)

I’m pretty convinced that Holt’s nipple is going to remain inverted forever, or perhaps, when he reaches puberty it may change. Or may not. That’s years away of course. But, like I’ve said, his inverted nipple really bugs my fiancé. He thinks that he’s going to be made fun of or something when he gets older.

I’m like, “It’s not like he has THREE nipples. Calm the fuck down.” I also say things like, “If he has one inverted nipple and that’s the worst of his problems, then we’re pretty darn lucky.” I also go on to say things like, “If a girl doesn’t like him because of one of his nipples than that’s her loss!” So, yes, my son may never be a nipple model (is there even such a thing?) but was that ever in his future anyway?

Interestingly enough though, a lot of babies are born with inverted nipples and a lot of people are very worried about this. I know because when I did my Google search, I read all the comment boards. “My son is one month old and has an inverted nipple!” wrote one, as if it was the worst thing in the world. Another woman wrote that HER husband was really worried about their son’s inverted nipple. So I’m starting to get the feeling that men are more panicked about inverted nipples than women are?

I also say, “Well, he’s going to have chest hair one day.” Like I said, I couldn’t give a damn about Holt’s inverted nipple, but I have to ease my fiancé’s worries.

God Bless you Holt and your inverted nipple. You are perfect.

(photo: Ermolaev Alexander / Shutterstock)