I woke up next to my son today. His crib is wedged in the corner of our small bedroom at the head of our bed. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve complained about our tiny living space in our third floor walk-up in Brooklyn. This morning I felt like the luckiest woman in the world when I looked at him, sleeping, and immediately started weeping for all of those parents in Newtown who will have to endure this first morning without their babies.
Twenty-year-old Adam Lanza entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut yesterday, wearing combat gear and armed with semi-automatic pistols and a semi-automatic rifle. According to a report by the New York Times, the principal recognized him as the child of a colleague and buzzed him right in. She was shot moments later when she rushed to investigate the sounds of gunshots.
Lanza killed 26 people on the grounds of Shady Hook – 20 of them children – in what is now known to be the second deadliest school shooting in our nation’s history. A 27th victim was found in a home in town, believed to be Lanza’s mother. Lanza himself died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Law enforcement officials reported Lanza as being “chillingly accurate.” He left only one wounded survivor at the school. “All the others hit by the barrage of bullets from the guns Mr. Lanza carried — the rifle was similar to a weapon used widely by troops in Afghanistan and Iraq — died, suggesting that they were shot at point-blank range.”
So far, law enforcement is offering no hint as to why Lanza, after shooting his mother in her home, travelled to Sandy Hook to slaughter all of those innocent children. As details of his life begin to unfold, I’m sure professionals will make theories as to why he committed this horrific act. I can’t imagine that piecing together a motive will provide any comfort to these families or all of us that grieve for and with them. No measure of analysis can explain why someone would kill all of those innocent, beautiful children.
Today I will just continue to grieve for these parents and feel infinitely lucky that I have another day with my child.