Mommyish Gift Guide: Top 7 Baby Dolls That Don’t Pee, Eat, Or Need Diaper Changes

Hey, you know what’s pretty weird? Baby dolls. Particularly baby dolls for babies. I’m fairly certain that I was one of those little girls who loved to “play mommy.” But upon watching 4-year-olds change diapers or feed an infant in giddy anticipation of a dirty diaper in my adult manifestation, I’m mostly just perturbed. Also consider that the doll’s ability to actually defecate or digest food is often pushed like a selling point — something that will entice the little ones. Well, not for my gift guide.

Chances are if you’re perusing through baby dolls for your little guy or girl this holiday season, you’ve already lived through your fair share of actual dirty diapers and messy food. So much so that you don’t need to worry about a whole other set of “fake” ones smelling up the trash or shelling out for a week’s worth of diapers for a non-live baby.

So, provided that you’re not in the market for an excreting baby doll come this December, I have quite the round up of alternatives for you. But between “RealTouch” skin, “lookalike” features, and newborn resemblances, some of them are kind of just as creepy. You can always go the Cabbage Patch route, folks.

Baby Born Mommy Make Me Better, $24.99

Take care of that baby with not just diapers and bottles, but with a med school degree! Sort of.

Madame Alexander Baby Cuddles, $34.95

For the parents who wants a little nostalgia, grab your kid a baby doll that resembles a little of what you had as a tot. No creepy roll back eyes though.

Sleeping Baby Doll By Waltraud Hanl With RealTouch Skin, $129.99

This baby is for the "go big or go home" set come the holidays. I know you're out there. Not only will this baby allegedly have your eyes tricking you that there actually is a newborn sleeping on the couch, but the skin apparently feels real too. So yeah, there's that.

Disney Princess Feature Doll, $26.97

A Disney Princess as a baby? Sure, why not. Let your little ones hold their beloved Disney Princess in her infant incarnation -- because that's not weird at all.

Baby Stella Doll, $31.99

Plush baby dolls are still en vogue! Thank goodness. But with all that softness, Baby Stella still apparently has "lifelike toes, belly buttons," along with a magnetic pacifier. Good for the baby who wants a baby.

Newborn Nursery Munchkin Baby Doll, $99.99

Nineteen inches of vinyl head and body, including "lifelike" features -- for those who are into all that. But don't be fooled. Even though this baby doll comes with a real diaper, it doesn't actually need changing!

Snow White 75th Anniversary Miniature Baby Doll, $39.99 Each

And just in case feeding and babying your favorite Disney Princess isn't enough for the kid, consider diapering and feeding other characters too. Seriously, this exists. Have your kid raise an entire mini Duggars clan in their bedroom for all you care.
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    • Diana

      Number three looks like a memento mori. I would not allow that in my house. Although I might buy it and leave it in a friends bed as a prank.

    • Tea

      Number 3 is creepy, and a small part of my brain said ” Please don’t let it be made of cyberskin.”

    • bumbler

      I just love that black Disney princess baby doll (idk the character’s name). I might get it for my daughter. They’re not here on the list but American Girl (and knock offs) make cute infant dolls that don’t have any “functions”.

      • bumbler

        I just did some research and saw that the Tatiana baby doll LAUGHS. Ohhh, I can’t stand toys that make sound…maybe I’ll just leave out the batteries ;)

    • wmdkitty

      Number 3 is Nightmare Fuel.

    • Jade-Elise Newell

      THANK YOU!
      “…perusing through baby dolls for your little guy or girl this holiday season..”
      Yes, I am here for my son’s doll. Thank you so much for not throwing dolls into the ‘girls only’ basket. You have won several kudos from me! x