It’s just like those fairy tales Taylor Swift is always singing about. An adorable date at Central Park Zoo, holding hands and laughing at the sea lions. There was even a super cute baby involved! She and Harry Styles are obviously getting married any day now, living happily ever after, and possibly already pregnant with the first of a dozen beautiful, musically-inclined children. I mean, they played with a baby people!!
I mean, in reality, the baby belonged to Styles’ stylist and her husband. (Styles’ stylist, say it three times fast!) The baby was really just a prop in a super-desperate attempt at tabloid coverage. I imagine a publicist woke up in the middle of the night, after spending hours making deals to secure the newest music for-the-media romance, and said, “Eureka! Put them at a zoo with a BABY!!!!!!!!!”
Don’t get me wrong. That baby is adorable. Styles’ stylist has a cute little girl. She has pigtails! And she looks completely comfortable with Swift, which probably isn’t easy for a child who just got shoved into a stranger’s arms the minute cameras started snapping.
You guys will have to forgive me for my cynicism here. Normally, I’m the one arguing that we shouldn’t jumped to conclusions about celebrities. We shouldn’t assume that everything is a PR production. Beyonce really was pregnant. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were really in love at some point in time. I’m that girl.
But come on! The world’s most famous single girl and a pop princeling that decide to go on a date to the busiest, most iconic zoo in the world. WITH A BABY. This did not happen naturally. This is a group of very dedicated promoters and public relations gurus at their finest. The fact that any young person would agree to this nonsense is beyond me, but I don’t think I understand the minds of young celebrities anyways.
This date and the adorable baby thrown into the middle of it was created to appeal to Swift’s and Styles’ wholesome images, so moms won’t be upset when their tweens idolize them. These crazy kids aren’t off partying in strip clubs with Rihanna and Katy Perry. They’re giggling at polar bears with babies. Please buy their adorably wholesome Christmas albums and their adorably wholesome dolls and tickets to their adorably wholesome concerts.