Whoops! Tim Burton And Helena Bonham Carter Kids Discover Mom And Dad Aren’t Married.

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter have been together for 11 years and have two children together, Billy, 9 and Nell, 4, but the couple has never officially tied the knot. Now, you can call me old-fashioned, but I totally think that two people don’t need a piece of paper to prove their love to the world and I’m also a gazillion percent sure that being the kids of Burton and Bonham Carter pretty much has to be the most magical shit ever. Both these public figures just seethe imagination! and whimsy! and daddy-has-super-amazing-art-shows-at-MOMA! and mommy was in the Harry Potter movies! So with so many famous couples and not famous couples splitting up and 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce anyway, it doesn’t seem like it’s that much of a biggie this couple never got hitched. But not according to little Billy, who sort of always assumed mom and dad were also husband and wife due to the fact mom wore a long white dress in the couple’s 2007 movie “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.”

According to SFGate:

She tells British newspaper the Daily Mirror, “Yes (they do want us to get married). Nell wants a dress, but actually, Billy was the one who was worried. He said, ‘Are you part of our family?’ And I said, ‘Yes’. Then he said to me, ‘But you were married. What about the wedding photo?’ And, of course, he was referring to a photo of me in costume for ‘Sweeney Todd,’ where Tim and I were just playing around. Billy thought that was our real wedding photo.”

Asked whether the couple will now be getting married for real, she adds, “We might do.”

The famous couple doesn’t even live together, but they do have adjoining houses, and Helena has said that their “houses are married.” Of course they are! Because even though inanimate objects can’t get married, these two probably pretended the houses were getting married just for the kids and it was probably all amazing and maybe one day Tim Burton will make a movie out of houses getting married. But if he does, it should be noted that once I said I was going to have my Roomba vacuum marry my upright vacuum and my kids got super excited and my daughter asked if we could buy the Roomba a dress. I’m not all magical and whimsical enough so this was just a fleeting thought and it should be also noted that my floor-cleaning appliances are living in sin.

I can see where the kids want their parents to be married and all that, but I would be happy being the child of Burton and Bonham Carter no matter their marital status. I am the daughter they don’t have who doesn’t care if they ever get married! Take that Billy!
(photo: Corpse Bride)

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