SAHM No More explores the the ups-and-downs of navigating a new world of parenting, transitioning from married stay-at-home motherhood to a full-time working, divorced motherhood. And there are a lot of adjustments being made—a lot of adjustments and not a lot of sleep.
The thing about parenting is that a lot of it has to do with compartmentalizing. Obviously, you don’t want to divide your whole life into discrete entities that have nothing to do with one another. That seems vaguely sociopath. But it can be nice to have things separated. There’s the side of me that eats the leftover mac and cheese off my kid’s dinner plate and there’s the side of me that interviews authors who I respect and emulate. I’d like to keep those two parts of me far, far away from each other.
For the most part, I’m successful at doing this. I don’t feel like I’m compromising either my “mom” self or my “work” self. It’s just two sides of the same person, two different worlds in the same gravitational orbit. But sometimes, when it seems like those worlds are going to collide, I am forced to confront the fact that not everyone in each world might be so comfortable with what’s happening elsewhere.
Mostly what I worry about is not what anyone from my professional world will think about my kids and my life as a mother. Mostly what I worry about is what will happen when my kids or, for that matter, their friends Google me and discover that I am eminently searchable. I worry that what they might find would not gel with the idea of what a “mom” should be doing. And as much as I hesitate to say that there are things that any mom “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing, I’m very aware of what would have embarrassed me to death when I was an adolescent. And I’m afraid that I’m guilty of a lot of those things.