• Fri, Nov 30 2012

SAHM No More: My Kids Might Die Of Embarrassment When They Google Me

google kidsSAHM No More explores the the ups-and-downs of navigating a new world of parenting, transitioning from married stay-at-home motherhood to a full-time working, divorced motherhood. And there are a lot of adjustments being made—a lot of adjustments and not a lot of sleep.

The thing about parenting is that a lot of it has to do with compartmentalizing. Obviously, you don’t want to divide your whole life into discrete entities that have nothing to do with one another. That seems vaguely sociopath. But it can be nice to have things separated. There’s the side of me that eats the leftover mac and cheese off my kid’s dinner plate and there’s the side of me that interviews authors who I respect and emulate. I’d like to keep those two parts of me far, far away from each other.

For the most part, I’m successful at doing this. I don’t feel like I’m compromising either my “mom” self or my “work” self. It’s just two sides of the same person, two different worlds in the same gravitational orbit. But sometimes, when it seems like those worlds are going to collide, I am forced to confront the fact that not everyone in each world might be so comfortable with what’s happening elsewhere.

Mostly what I worry about is not what anyone from my professional world will think about my kids and my life as a mother. Mostly what I worry about is what will happen when my kids or, for that matter, their friends Google me and discover that I am eminently searchable. I worry that what they might find would not gel with the idea of what a “mom” should be doing. And as much as I hesitate to say that there are things that any mom “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing, I’m very aware of what would have embarrassed me to death when I was an adolescent. And I’m afraid that I’m guilty of a lot of those things.

You can reach this post's author, Kristin Iversen, on twitter.
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  • jessica

    I do get what you are saying and you raise valid points. But I think the worst outcome for you and your kids will be this: Your kids may initially feel a little weird about what they have read but ultimately get that you’re more than just “Mom” and come to appreciate the total package that is you. You’re a real person. Sometimes you can be a bit crazy, other times you’re completely sensible, sometimes you do the wrong thing, sometimes you do the right thing- basically you’re a bit of everything at once just like everyone else on the planet. Simply put: don’t worry, you’re good.

    Also, and although he or she may have had some valid points, anyone who chooses to name him or herself PP McWeiner or Slutlord on a public forum really has no basis upon which to judge the sanity of anyone else and I think your kids will get that point too.

  • Kai

    I cannot possibly imagine that any kid currently growing up will be able to be embarrassed when they’re a teen. I’m sure your children’s classmates will have even more embarrassingly google-able parents. I think tomorrow’s teens will just move past that shame.