Mommyish Gift Guide: The Top 7 Toys You Shouldn’t Bother Buying This Holiday


A Justin Bieber toothbrush that sings

Need I say more? Even if your kid's room is plastered with posters and you can't even take them to school without listening to at least three Bieber tracks, there's no reason that even teeth brushing needs to be a Bieber-ized activity. Pass. (photo: target.com)

Furby

We all lived through Furby mania in the 90s and there's frankly no reason to revisit it. Until these creepy creatures can teach kids French or perhaps verbally walk them through multiplication tables, their scary little voices are not worth hearing all afternoon. (photo: target.com)

This kids-sized Mercedes

Make sure to pair this electric car with some Chanel shades to complete the lifestyle branding of your 3 year old. Or put those four hundred bucks towards an actual Mercedes when he or she is 16. Or never. (photo: mbpartsworld.com)

LEGOs Friends Beauty Shop

Even if you don't buy the problematic messages in LEGOs for girls, this particular set in which little girls can play beauty salon isn't worth your holiday cash. With purses, boobs, and a penchant for hair styling, these little figurines can sit around and apply lipstick the size of their heads. Not, you know, build anything. (photo: target.com)

One Direction dolls

Okay, so they're cheap. For a mere 16 bucks you can have your tween daughter squealing louder than your newborn baby. I get it. But the utter lamitude of this doll, although it won't break your bank, may break your self respect as you stand in line. Then again, you will have some good photos to tease her with when she's 18....Nope. Still not worth it. (photo: toysrus.com)

A Mini Washing Machine

So for the three to five set, FAO Schwartz has a faux washing machine for $34.99, complete with four sound effects and actual water for the washing of doll clothes. Here's an idea. If kiddie's fascination with cleaning is so paramount that it warrants a toy, how about they learn to play with the real washing machine with some adult supervision? And learn how to wash actual clothes along with dolly's? Their own clothes can actually get clean with Barbie's! No fake sound effects required. (photo: fao.com)

Super Branded Crap

Like a lot of purses for girls that contain the concerning lady essentials of makeup, cell phones, and credit cards, this one is no different. But along with giving girls as young as birth (according to the manufacturer's recommendation) a purse full of troublesome priorities (spend spend spend and look real pretty while you do it!), this one conditions your tot to be a full-fledged FAO Schwartz customer thanks to all that branding. Get them while they're young! (photo: fao.com)

Plush Angry Birds That Make Noise

The product description for this potential stocking stuffer reads: "This toy will bring the Angry Bird video game to life in your own living room." They say that like it's a good thing. Who the hell wants another annoying sound from this game echoing through their living room? Apparently you can collect all of them, along with the pigs, and play the game for real by stacking pigs and hurling your Angry Bird at them. Thanks, but no thanks! (photo: toysrus.com)

So it’s now that time of year when you’re surfing those gift guides and 2012 “hottest toy” lists, determining what is actually worth your money and what isn’t. Maybe your kids have been squawking about getting a Justin Bieber doll since Halloween or maybe you have the more subtle kids who just email you their picks from the family computer. Either way, you’re the ultimate deciding factor on whether yet another piece of the Angry Birds franchise ends up wrapped in your living room — despite whatever toy trends dominate the TV.

So barring any letters to Santa specifically begging for those “Friends” LEGOs, here are the kinds of toys you should omit from your present list from the get go. Don’t buy the “hot toy” hype. Scratch them off so you can make room for something that will actually make your kids go nuts on that special day.

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    • meteor_echo

      Furbies are creepy as all hell, the Justin Bieber brush made me gigglesnerk, the plush purse with plush makeup is outright ridiculous.

      ….I’ll be there in my room, buying Super Mario Bros. plush toys off Ebay >_>

      • LiteBrite

        I agree. Furbies kind of scare me. Whenever I go to Target, there they are, watching my every move and judging me with their eyes.

        I almost bought the Justin Bieber toothbrush for one of my co-workers who has some kind of creepy crush on the poor boy. But then I decided not to feed her addiction. If I get her name in our Secret Santa though, she’s getting one.

      • meteor_echo

        Their eyes are so creepy – and I live in Ukraine where Furbies are way less popular than in North America. So I’ve only seen them in upscale toy stores; I would NOT want one anywhere close to me. I’d die.

      • gothicgaelicgirl

        I spent over €100 on a giant Dragon Ball Z collectible crystal Dragonball set…you have nothing to be ashamed of….

    • http://twitter.com/EveVawter Eve Vawter

      Oh Koa , I beg to disagree on the new Furby , all my kids received them as gifts a couple of months ago and the new ones are ridic awesome. Do you know you can abuse your furby until it breaks bad and turns evil? You can also make them insane. Plus, my dog is terrified of them. Tomorrow I’m going to furby Skype you alllll day.

    • Lisa

      Most of those things are actually pretty cool.
      There’s a difference between “not to my personal taste” and “not a good toy”.

      Meanwhile, how did I know that Lego Friends would be in there? Does Mommyish get a sum of money for every article they write where they bag it out? Come on guys.

    • nevilleross

      For girls, I’d rather buy one of these dolls for them: Dragon Alliance Winona NYPD Emergency Service Unit Sniper Team Observer, 1/6 Scale

      • meteor_echo

        Okay, that one looks REALLY cool! I’d love a toy like that if I were a kid now :>

      • nevilleross

        Click on the link and buy it (the doll’s really for adult collectors, anyway).

      • meteor_echo

        I am totally broke right now – buying presents for my friends. But I actually would if I had the free cash right now :3

    • Kay

      so let me get this straight kill your child’s imagination, fun, and future dreams so you the ‘adult’ who chose to have kids do not need to listen to, spend money, or support your child’s ever-changing fascinations. sure okay whatever floats your boat but don’t sink others by saying that all these toys and what-not’s are not worth the money. The sounds of laughter and sight of enjoyment are much more important to me than the price of toys that my child may not play with for more than a few months. I actually want my child to grow up knowing he had a great childhood filled with imaginative play and fun rather than think back at how mommy didn’t want to buy him toys to play with because mommy didn’t want to hear the ‘annoying sounds’ of her child having fun. You people need to stop ripping apart your children’s childhood and stop making them grow up so fast let children be children.

    • STARGIRL055412

      Got my way back because I knew they would be a hot toy this year. My niece and 2 nephews will be pleased. Even got one for myself. Now cant even find them on the shelf.

    • Luckdragon26

      My daughter really wants a furby, and she has been really good this year, so she’s gonna get one. I think she will love it, and mom and dad will hate it. As long as she is happy.