Billionaire Power House Taylor Swift Has No Idea What It Actually Feels Like To Be A 1950s Housewife

Taylor Swift is getting into some hot water during her most recent media tour. Her last Cosmopolitan interview was distributed across the internet with headlines that she wants to be a stay-at-home mom. She missed the point of feminism when she said she wasn’t a feminist. Now in December’s issue of Harper’s BAZAAR, she talks about “wearing the pants” in a relationship and how she feels like she does it far too often.  I wonder if she sees the irony in the picture she’s painting of a 1950s housewife staying home to tend to her soccer team of children while she is…Taylor Swift.

Ms. Swift is the picture of female career dominance. According to Forbes, Taylor Swift is the highest-paid entertainer under 30 and she is only 22. In the past year alone she made a reported $57 million.  She manages her own career, she writes all her own songs, and she has awards to prove she is good at all of it.  But more importantly to me, Taylor Swift writes songs that I hope my daughter listens to and identifies with. The ballad “Fifteen” talks about waiting to have sex until you are sure the relationship is real rather than doing it so he will like you more.  The catchy “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” has the voice of a young woman who will not be a doormat to a man’s slick pleas.

Whether she calls herself a feminist or not, she has the voice of a strong, smart, and independent woman.  Hers is the voice of a much-needed role model for our young daughters.  Except lately she’s been saying things I wish she might have thought through a little more. The latest “oh-no” quote from Harper’s BAZAAR came after a statement about her preference for dresses.

Whether it’s a summertime dress that makes me feel carefree, an evening cocktail dress that makes me feel fancy, or a vintage dress that makes me feel like a ’50s housewife—which I enjoy feeling like, for some reason—I just really like dresses.

Ok, a silly completely misguided reference to what it feels like to be a 1950s housewife. I thought I could move past the faux pax.  Surely she didn’t mean she wants to stay home, grow bored and sad with her one-dimensional life until she has to paint on her happy face to pick up the kids from school and cook daddy a nice dinner.  She means she likes petticoats, right?

Sadly, she only added to the problem. Swift explains how she enjoys letting go of her need to control in her relationships. She uses the word “equality” but what she describes sounds closer to domestic submission.

 If I feel too much like I’m wearing the pants, I start to feel uncomfortable and then we break up.

[I]t’s wonderful to hand over the reins to your boyfriend when you control so much of these big, high-pressure decisions, you know? That is a huge defining factor in who you choose to be with.

I hope Swift abandons her confused notions of SAHMs, feminists, and 1950s housewives and realizes she could never be who she is today if she believed in the antiquated and misguided concepts she describes.  She might be singing songs that I want my daughter to hear but the interviews that go with them are just bad history lessons that no one needs.

Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com

You can reach this post's author, Carinn Jade, on twitter.
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    • Lastango

      “I hope Swift abandons her confused notions of SAHMs, feminists, and 1950s housewives…”
      ==========
      I hope you abandon your self-congratulatory, simplistic devaluing and mischaracterization of 1950′s-era homemakers. It’s possible to write a post contrasting your viewpoint to Swift’s without implying she’s baffled by history and reality.
      ===
      BTW, it’s not at all uncommon to read comments by professional women who are glad when their men take charge in ways they want a man to — and who are deeply disappointed and unfulfilled when that doesn’t happen. The latter seems to be a disaster; it leaves the woman unable to experience her feminine nature and results in an asexual relationship.
      Thinking that “equality” should mean “equality in everything, all the time” is a long walk off a short pier. Yin and Yang, diff’rent strokes…

      • Scarlette

        The best part of your post is that these so called ‘professional women’ would not be where they are without, dare I say the hated word, feminism.

      • judgy wudgy

        And the best part of your response is that you miss the point completely.

      • Scarlette

        Well with a great comment like yours, I sure got an idea of what the poster meant to say. You are just a treasure trove of wisdom. Please continue being so useful. If your man stops bossing you long enough to, or if you stop bossing your woman long enough to. Because bossing around a woman is SEXY!

      • jack_sprat2

        Only when and as she wishes it to be. Or, are you so abysmally ignorant of sex that you don’t realize that it is the SUBMISSIVE who holds the balance of power in a sex-positive D/s relationship. That holds true regardless of the gender of the two (or more) parties, BTW.

        Not that I see any evidence whatsoever that Taylor seeks to be a part of such a relationship. It’s just that the extremes of CONSENSUAL ones are so very useful in pointing up the more subtle nuances of the more mundane ones.

      • Scarlette

        I almost cared until I realized you have Assburgers. Then I lol’d. ahahah. Shouldn’t you be crapping your pants instead of debating the merits of something someone as socially handicapped as you could only dream to understand? Maybe the girl at Coldstone will talk to you tomorrow and you’ll be Ok. Dream son. Dream~~~~~~~~

      • judgy wudgy

        That just says everything about everything, doesn’t it?

      • Hera

        To quote a Willy Wonka meme: You laugh at people with mental disorders? Tell me more about how intelligent you are.

      • meteor_echo

        HELL YES. This.

      • meteor_echo

        Wow, someone here is being ableist as fuck. Nice to see how preshus you are again. Screencapped as an example of your own asshattery.

      • Lastango

        This is when you notice that there is not a single word in my post about feminism. Recognizing that will be difficult for you if you think every viewpoint is, or needs to be, somehow about feminism. Really, all you just did was change the subject to what you want to talk about.

      • Scarlette

        Your comment can have the overtones of deriding feminism without using the exact word. Sort of the same way someone can make a post insulting a minority and not using the exact word race, yet the comment directly addresses racism.

        You are subtly encouraging the 1950′s house wife (mum) and support of her by a modern day, professional, successful woman (Taylor). In actuality, Taylor would have been unable to achieve the success she has WITH the freedom she has (mentioned by the OP — Taylor has an unprecedented amount of control in her career for a young woman) without people shunning that very stereotype.

        So yes, you did mention feminism implicitly, if not explicitly. For some people, not everything has to be so spelled out. Guess you are not one of them.

      • jack_sprat2

        My, you are bound and determined to tell women like Taylor precisely how she must live her life, as well as which opinions she must hold and profess, aren’t you? Do try and leave her a little breathing room beneath that torc with which you’re encircling her throat.

      • Scarlette

        Melodramatic much? If you had a point I would retort it.

      • Lastango

        How did you suddenly acquire the ability to discover subtlties in my comment, given your inability to discover any in Taylor Swift’s own perspective? Or your view of 1950′s homemakers as two-dimensional?

      • Hera

        FEMINISM has done NOTHING for women. The suffragettes were supporters of egalitarianism. Equal vote, equal work, etc. Feminism has done nothing, but I’m not surprised that feminists don’t like Taylor Swift’s comment. Feminism means sacrificing one’s own beliefs because they don’t fit in with a preconceived notion of what a woman should be.

    • judgy wudgy was a bear

      And surely you see the irony in deriding her choices and preferences in the name of ‘feminism’, right?

      • Scarlette

        Deriding? I am pretty sure the OP didn’t get that far — the point was that Taylor doesn’t have the slightest idea what feminism is. It’s a four letter word with which out she would not be a multi millionaire 22 year old.

      • judgy wudgy

        Actually, I think yourself and the author don’t have the slightest idea what feminism is. Feminism is about ensuring equality between the sexes, and only that. It’s not about making women the dominant species, nor is it about forcing women to strip away all traces of their femininity, ultimately becoming men. I mean, you see the grossly anti-feminist sentiment in that, right?

        There are a huge number of ways that we can fight towards gender equality, but penning a smug blog post that twists the words of a girl who said that she chooses to be a stay at home mum, she chooses to be with a strong man who won’t let her boss him around, and she chooses to dress like a 1950s housewife is not one of them.

        Did you even read the article? I don’t see a single line that even hints at Swift rejecting feminism.

      • Scarlette

        Who won’t let her boss him around. So she shouldn’t let him boss him around either, right? Or is it ‘sweet and charming’, ‘masculine’ and ‘natural’ when a man tells a woman, who is just another human being who happens to have different reproductive organs, what to do?

      • judgy wudgy

        Are we engaging in discourse or are you just going to make shit up? Some women like to be bossed around, others like to be in control, and still others prefer equal parts bossing and being bossed. But let’s discount what individual women want and force them all to conform to your ideal. That’s true feminism.

      • Scarlette

        If you’re going spout nonsensical bullshit, then yes, I will be nonsensical myself.

        Yet, all you seem to care about is insulting the idea of feminism and defending women who want to be bossed around. How about the fact that as a byproduct of the patriarchy, many women are afraid of being in command of their own destiny?

        While unprosecuted rape, the lack of viable and affordable birth control for ALL women of ALL sexually active ages, and illegal abortions exist, I care less about “the women who want to be bossed around” and more about the women who want to be autonomous human beings.

        Because guess what — no one has to fight for women who want to be oppressed. Be it at home, at work, or in their love lives. Because they already have what they ‘want’.

      • Hera

        From where I stand, judgy is not being nonsensical; YOU are. He isn’t deriding feminism; he’s pointing out the irony that the OP, a supposed feminist, is criticizing a woman’s choice because it isn’t up to her standards. YOU are the one who must have realised you were losing the argument and went on a rant about women’s reproductive rights. :/

      • judgy wudgy

        Thanks Hera, just want to point out though that I’m actually a woman :) I’m a feminist too, whatever that means – I prefer to say that I support the sisterhood.

      • Scarlette

        Feminist too – Whatever that means? Sisterhood?

        Sorry to tell you — but you are definitely a MRA. Google them. Also Misandry. You will enjoy their style

      • judgy wudgy

        I’m a mail retrieval agent? Awesome.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001337578929 LH Smith

        I agree with you… I’m one of those women. It’s MY choice.. and I like it. I’m still all woman, and made the choice myself. I don’t see anything anti-feminist about it at all.

      • jack_sprat2

        Being an Aspie, I will just ignore your own intentional use of irony, so as to call out OP’s unintentional use of it, instead answering your rhetorical question with “Of course she doesn’t.”

        Three cheers for sex-positive feminists, whatever they choose to call themselves. May they slay the Dragons who proudly put on the mantel of their racist, eugenicist, misandrist foremothers. That lot were wrong when they served as Adolf Hitler’s (acknowledged) Muse for genocide, just as their upper and upper-middle class heirs are now.

      • Scarlette

        Assburgers and Misandry. Clouds and rain. Ike and Tina, Sid and Nancy. All things that go together.

      • judgy wudgy

        All it takes is one offensive and immature individual to ruin it for everyone. Go back to your bridge.

      • Scarlette

        You first.

      • meteor_echo

        Nope, eff off. You poisoned yet another comment section – you can receive your Selfish Bitchcake in the mail in 7 to 10 busines sdays.

      • Scarlette

        You following me around the site? You’re my puppy!

    • Veronique

      Geez Louise people do you have to be so carry and disrespectful with each other? What ever happened to the concept of sisterhood and accepting that maybe different women want different things out if life?!

    • C.J.

      I think we need to remember that Taylor is only 22. She still has a lot of living and learning to do yet. Yes she is obviously a smart business women but she is still very young. I doubt many of us have the exact same opinions that we did at that age. Who knows what she will actually choose to do when he has children. Even if she chooses to be a SAHM, why is that so terrible. I don’t think a woman who chooses to stay home is any less equal. I pick my kids up at school and make dinner. I did that when I worked and I do it now that I am a SAHM. I enjoy taking care of my family and my husband enjoys taking care of our family. We both have things we are good at in that respect and we both have things we do to make our household run smoothly. Sure I cook the dinner, I’m a better cook since I was taught by my mother who is a chef. He cleans the mess I made cooking it after he says thank you for the tasty food. We are both equal partners and we both appreciate each other. Every family is different and every family needs to do what is best for them. I was forced to be a SAHM due to a medical condition that prevents me from working. My life is not one-dimensional or sad. Life is as fullfilling as you make it. I can’t work anymore, so I do as much volunteer work as I can physically handle. Yes I do a lot for my husband and children. When my children are grown I will find other things to do. There are always lots of good causes that need people to volunteer their time. I know lots of SAHM who are very happy with their lives and are equal partners in their households. I know lots of working moms that are happy with their lives too. Everyone is different. Like I tell my children, life would be boring if everyone was the same.

      • chickadee

        I was about to make a comment that agreed with you, particularly about her youth and immaturity (regarding the pants comment, not regarding the SAHM business) ad then I realized 2 things:
        1. You already said things better than I was planning to, and

        2. I don’t really care about famous people, and I wish Mommyish would quit featuring articles about them unless something really interesting happens.

      • C.J.

        Thank you and I also have to agree with you. I don’t really care what famous people do either. After all, they are just people too.

    • rocklesson86

      This cannot sing. I still don’t why she getting awards.

      • Justme

        I’m gonna let you finish but I just have to say that Beyonce can sing and should be getting the awards.

      • AlarTruve

        Because she is a talented artist?

    • Jen

      Despite her poor wording. I think I understand what she is trying to say. She makes hundreds of extremely important decisions every day, that directly impact her career. In a relationship she wants to be less in control. Let someone else take control make the decisions and let her do her thing. I can understand that. I make all the decisions in my professional life and usually decisions for others. However, at home, while I would not use the word “submissive” I tend to defer to my s/o. If I disagree, I disagree. I don’t lose my voice or opinion at home, I’m just glad that when I go home I know that someone else has a really good grasp of things and if I want to tune out I can. Conversely, my man tends to not be able to make any decisions in his professional life and thus really enjoys being “in charge” at home, both in and out of the bedroom. I also think it’s important as CJ mentioned, this girl is 22, and will change her mind a hundred more times between now and 23, let alone 30. I can’t stand her music or her constant “I am the victim” lyrics. But I think she’s being judged a little harshly for something she is likely to change her mind about.

    • Fabel

      “she has the voice of a strong, smart, and independent woman”

      Huh?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001337578929 LH Smith

      I totally disagree with the way this article was written and frequently feel the same way she does and I AM a stay at home mom by choice. Some of us actually prefer this over the ultra feminist view point of having to be in control and acting like a man. I think a true feminist should realize that as many different personalities as there are among women – there are just as many choices out there for each of us and if some of us prefer this role better – who is anyone else to say otherwise… unless women are now into bullying women. That would just be retardedly sad.

    • HaiNA

      oh Taylor! how dare you make a comment that you like to wear a dress because it makes you feel a certain way. FOR SHAME. 1950s housewives everywhere are shaking their heads, sooo offended as you would clearly NEVER UNDERSTAND what its like. Tsk tsk.
      Maybe you should step back and not try and cram your idea of what feminism is down Ms. Swifts throat – if Taylor wants to be a stay at home wife and not have control, that is her choice … isn’t that the whole point of feminism? to have the Choice?

    • K

      This article is stupid.

      I’ll agree that Taylor Swift has SOME relevance as a possible role model for young girls. And I’ll agree that Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen” is a better YA anthem than say, Britney’s “I’m a Slave 4U,” which was big about 10 years ago.

      But I don’t really care what Taylor Swift has to say about feminism, SAHMs, or relationship dynamics. You know why? Because I don’t really look to Taylor Swift to offer anything particularly insightful about those topics. Because she’s 22. And a pop star.

    • miliotisa1

      She could never be a famous singer if there weren’t for feminists? Alright, I’ll be sure to tick Maria Kallas off of the famous singer lists.

      As for the 50s housewife thing, she was talking about how the dress made her feel like she looked like one, you know, like how dressing like a Mummy makes you feel like you’re a Mummy. People who say they feel like mummies don’t pretend to know what being a mummy is all about or anything of the sort, they just feel like they’re one in a kinda lighthearted frivolous, devoid of serious thought kind of way ,you know, for fun and stuff. Remember fun?

    • Mike

      reading into things to much.

    • Chicago’s Worst

      Doesn’t she also bounce around relationships a lot, instead of practicing what she preaches in her music? Taylor the Product vs. Taylor the Person are two verrrrry different creatures. Anyone concerned with artistic integrity might get on a high-horse about putting your life into your art; anyone concerned about humanistic integrity might just call her a hypocrite and be worried about labeling her as a role model (most recent blogosphere riots indicate she’s played Conor Kennedy for Harry Styles or some such; her ability to “date” through the celebrity circuit is fairly well-documented from well before).

      Taylor the Product is marketable in a time where women are portrayed as sex objects in pop culture and sultriness sells, but let’s not forget that Beyonce pulled off sultry while being an independent woman as well (and the lack of a wealthy family to promote her music). And, at the very least, Beyonce can deliver a consistent live performance, which Taylor the Product has been unable to achieve.

      Imagining Taylor the Product or Person as a feminist icon is patently absurd.

    • -AM

      I’m not a fan of how this article down plays stay at home mothers. This article seems to be claiming that being an independent women and making your own choices is important. I agree. However, shouldn’t it be a women’s right to want to be a stay at home mother? Being a mother is a full time job. So, I personally would not blame a women for simply wishing to be able to spend time with her children. Saying that being a stay at home mother is sad, boring, and one dimensional, is actually quite anti-feminist. A women should be able to choose if she wants to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, or anything for that matter, including a mother.
      This kind of article makes feminism look bad. And people wonder why many don’t want to affiliate themselves as a feminist? The word has been dragged through the mud by women who refuse to let any “man” hold a door open for them, or those women who stampede around naked in the Vatican. Both these types of feminist ignore the right to equality and put themselves on a pedestal.