Election Day is (FINALLY) here, and I know no better way to celebrate than to round up several related submissions written by parents on Facebook. “But what are parents talking about that’s related to both the election and parenthood?”, you might be asking yourself. Well, several things! After all, this election affects us all in myriad ways. We’re voting on healthcare reform, civil rights, women’s rights, public arts, public education — all things that profoundly impact parents and their children’s development. But, that’s not what the parents in today’s column are talking about. They’ve got a few other messages they’d like to get out.

For instance, some parents don’t really give a damn who they vote for, as long as it’s NOT for the guy whose campaigning is crimping their style.

STFU Parents

Amber does have a point in that it can be annoying to receive unexpected visitors. However, something tells me these visitors came by during normal business hours, and, let’s face it, they’re performing a civic duty that many of us have chosen not to do. Personally, I gave up “door-to-door harassment” after being a Girl Scout, and then again after selling the newspaper door-to-door after college, and I know what it’s like to see people exasperated and uninterested in chatting. But you know what I learned? For every 100 houses, at least 5 people bought the paper. And when I was a Girl Scout, even more people bought cookies. So, STFU, Amber. I respect and support everyone out there trying to campaign for their candidate because that is the goddamn American way. And that goes for people campaigning on foot as well as in call centers.

STFU Parents

Wait a second, Amy. Did you just say that you’d be willing to campaign against a candidate — even the one you plan to vote for — just because you got a call from one of his supporters? And wouldn’t that kind of make you on that person’s same level, campaigning at times when parents potentially have sleeping children? Just a thought. I’m not exactly sure how campaigning for a candidate whose agenda one doesn’t support makes that person a badass.

Then again, to hell with this year’s candidates! You know who we should be focusing our efforts on? The children of the future.

STFU Parents

A. just said that her son can pronounce the names of objects in children’s books that she herself cannot pronounce. I don’t know what that means (Are the books written in English?!), but I will say that I hope she doesn’t wind up being her son’s campaign manager. She doesn’t make a very convincing case.

STFU Parents

Awwwww. BABIES. Forget all of this political drama and just VOTE FOR THE BABIES! When you vote for Stefanie’s son, you get:

- Naps every morning AND afternoon

- Snacks around-the-clock for every law-abiding citizen

- THE WIGGLES.

How could you go wrong?

Seriously, though, this election is very important, and that means making your voice heard, even where it might not be wanted.

 

STFU Parents

Nothing like a good old-fashioned daddyjacking to conclude this column. I won’t explicitly say who I’m voting for in the election, but I will say that I think Colby is an ignorant asshat who seems to care more about spreading his message than he does about listening to the women of this country who can make decisions juuuust fine without his input. Or, maybe I’m just reading into it a little too much. ;)

If you haven’t already done so, go vote and make your voice heard where it’s wanted!