Babies are so stupid. They may be cute and all but have you ever seen one of them holding down an actual job? Have you ever seen a baby try and solve a math problem or run for congress or even play Angry Birds? No. Because babies are stupid. Stupid babies. Which is why this new study conducted by fancy scientists wearing lab coats at the esteemed Cambridge University comes as no surprise to me. The scientists led by James Russell at the University of Cambridge ran a study that could prove helpful in explaining the whole Wonder Woman invisible crime-fighting jet cogitation and the 1897 case where the Coach and Horses Inn burned down. Stupid babies believe that they become invisible if someone can’t see their eyes.
From esteemed British news agency The Daily Mail:
The children’s eyes were covered with masks and they were then asked whether they could be seen by the researchers – with most saying no.
Many also believed that the researchers could not see adults who were wearing eye masks – leading to the conclusion most young children believe that anyone who covers their eyes is obscured from other people’s view.
The researchers then attempted to distinguish what exactly creates the feeling of invisibility – whether it was not being able to see at all or just because the other person couldn’t see their eyes.
Haha! Those scientists totally p’wned those stupid babies by peekaboo! I hope the scientists explained to those babies the truth about this, because at any given moment those stupid babies could start trying to play tricks on the world anytime they saw an intelligent adult covering their eyes. In my opinion, the only thing this study teaches us is that science can be adorable.
Not to flaunt my own importance here, but I consider myself an expert at peekaboo. As someone who has engaged in countless games of peekaboo with numerous babies over the last thirty-five years, my record stands at never losing a game of peekaboo once. I firmly believe that there has never been an instance during a peekaboo match with some stupid baby that I suddenly believed that by covering my eyes that I was an invisible person. Thank you to the esteemed researchers at Cambridge who, along with adorable science, have proven that my record of conquering babies during peekaboo still stands unchallenged. Researchers have yet to test other games we smart adults enjoy playing with stupid babies, like blowing raspberries on their tummies, pretending to eat their tiny little feet, and asking them repetitively “How big is baby?” before replying “Soooo big!” and holding their hands above their heads , but in the future when scientists determine the winners of these games, I have a feeling it will be us intelligent adults.
(photo: James R. Martin/shutterstock)
