• Mon, Oct 8 2012

Jennifer Aniston Flashes Her Huge Engagement Ring To Complement Her Hugely Awesome Life

I’m a fan of Jennifer Aniston.  Always have been – always will be.  Maybe it’s because I sympathized with her public heartbreak.  Or maybe it’s because, as a mother and a person with a brain, I know all of this “pining over Brad Pitt” media coverage is bullshit.

Who in their right mind would fantasize about a life carting around six kids when they themselves are independently wealthy, free as the wind, and engaged to a smoking-hot actor? She’s living the dream, folks.  We can all stop wondering whether she’s crying into a bowl of Haagen Daz every night, watching Troy.  She’s not.  We’re not friends or anything, but I assure you – she’s not.

All of the engagement ring photos that are buzzing around the Internet today support this claim.   I’m sure all of the body language experts would back it up, too.  Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are deliriously happy.  They’re frolicking around town in super-hip outfits, laughing and gazing into each other’s eyes.   In one scene, she lovingly clasps his face, and her giant rock of an engagement ring catches the sunlight.  You couldn’t orchestrate this scene better if it was in a movie.  But it’s not a movie.  It’s someone’s life – Jennifer’s to be exact.  Who wouldn’t want this life?

Oh, I forgot – Brad.  It’s all about Brad.  Brad wanted kids.  Jennifer wanted to focus on her career.  What kind of woman is she?  Of course he had to leave her!  He wanted to be a dad six times over. What woman wouldn’t want that?  How could she let him go?

Aniston was in a Mommy War of her own, and she wasn’t even a mommy yet.  I’m not even sure that the term existed then.  The public turned against her because she was rumored to have chosen career over children.  This proved to be an unforgivable offense, and the seven-year media shame and sob-fest ensued.  That’s right, it’s been seven years since the break-up.  Seven years.

Now Aniston is engaged.  Finally, she is falling into one of the roles that we assume a woman has to fulfill to be considered a human being on this planet – wife or mother.  Maybe we can all be happy for her, and drop the whole Brad thing once and for all – or at least until the pregnancy speculation starts.

(photo: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com)

You can reach this post's author, Maria Guido, on twitter.
What We're Reading:
Share This Post:
  • http://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues Abby Heugel

    I was always much more Team Aniston than Team Jolie, and not just because Jen has better hair or was part of “Friends,” which I loved. And not that I have a clue, but I always thought she got the raw end of the Brad media deal. I know they always try and create stories where there’s nothing, but good lord, this woman has it all–single or engaged. However, now it will be, “When will Jen have a baby?” “Is she too old to have kids?” Oy.

  • Andrea

    Honestly, I have always been more Team Aniston too. Partly because, while of course it takes two to tango, I always felt that Jolie is basically a home wrecker. Also jennifer got the short end of the stick in the media and Jolie also had to poke at her broken heart. One time an interviewer asked Jolie if she would let her kids watch the movie Mr and Mrs Smith. And she said she probably would when they are older because “how many kids can watch the movie where their parents fell in in love?” I’m like WTF!!! They were married still during that movie you slut!

    At any rate, I am very happy for Jennifer. May she have a glorious career and a happy relationship. And Brangelina can go cart their brats around the world and wipe ass.

    PS: I am a parent, so don’t get any ideas that I think having kids and wiping ass is like…not the best life or anything.