• Mon, Oct 1 2012

I Judged My Mom For Staying With My Cheating Dad, But I Would Now Do The Same

cheating dadI grew up hiding in the hall when my dad would sneak home late at night. I lay in bed and heard my parents argue. I caught my mom crying in the bathroom, at the stove and whenever she thought we weren’t looking. And there were a few weeks, when I was eight, when my dad left on a “really long trip” as my mom called it. Years later, my dad again left. But this time it wasn’t under the guise of work. We were grown, so this time he used the word “divorce.”

After a tumultuous summer, my parents got back together. Sometimes, I feel like I’m holding my breath, waiting for the cycle to happen again. Because their marriage has been like this for over 30 years—a back and forth dance of happiness and heartbreak, adultery and absolution. “Break up or shut up,” I once yelled at my father when he told me he wanted to leave my mother, again.

As I grew older, I scoffed at my mother’s decision to keep her marriage intact. In college, newly enraged with my newfound feminism, I confronted my mother about her relationship. “You should leave him,” I said.

She responded: “You love your father too much for me to do that.”

“Well,” I snapped, “that hasn’t stopped him.” My mother walked away.

A year later, when my husband and I got engaged, I immediately approached him with my demands. I was the daughter of a lawyer after all. I knew how to drive a deal. One evening, before we sat down to plan our wedding, I laid out the terms of our marriage contract: House work would be 50/50, he had to be fine with no more than one kid, and adultery and abuse were automatic dealbreakers. Jail would be assessed on a case-by-case basis. Dave laughed at the earnestness of my demands, but he agreed. The negotiations were simple. Adultery and abuse were dealbreakers for him too, but not for the same reasons. Dave had been raised in a religious household, where trust and faith were important virtues. For my husband, the worst thing I could do was break his trust and that’s what he saw adultery as the ultimate betrayal.

Not long after Dave and I hammered out our marriage contract, I again asked my mother about her marriage. We were cleaning my kitchen. She was at the sink, clinking cups in soapy water. I shoved dishes into a haphazard stack. “Why,” I wanted to know, “why didn’t you leave him when he cheated?”

Share This Post:
  • LiteBrite

    My father also cheated on my mom, well, twice actually. Once was when my sister and I were young (my other two siblings not even a gleam in my parents’ eyes yet), and then when we were much older (I was in college). They did divorce, but adultery wasn’t the only reason. Frankly, their marriage was over before it even started.

    I’ve forgiven my dad, and I think, so has my mom. We’ve all moved on. However, my husband and I have discussed how we would handle adultery. For him, it’s a deal-breaker, for the same reasons your husband stated. Although not religious, my husband puts a lot of emphasis on the trust part of our marriage vows. I do too, but I think I would be a lot more willing to forgive HIM than he would me, although that depends a lot on the actual circumstances of the affair.

    I know some people would say that the fact we’re even talking about this shows a distrust in the marriage. I disagree. I trust my husband completely and he does me. I have absolutely no desire to cheat on him. (I’ve even said that if I ever got married again I would feel sorry for my second husband because I would forever compare him to DH and 2nd husband would forever come up short!) But I think it’s important to think about where you stand on this, especially if you have kids. I think much of the reason why my parents stayed together was because of us, and that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

  • kmf

    Proofreaders? Editors?

    • alice

      Seriously, my first thought exactly. Grammar and punctuation errors can be tolerated to an extent, but when the first sentence is “I grew up hiding in the hall my dad sneak home late at night” I don’t know how anyone can continue reading. Does mommyish have any standards?

    • kmf

      Exactly. Honestly – the first sentence! I can overlook typos, but this was hard to read.

    • http://www.facebook.com/melski.madness Melanie Pearson

      two pages and all you people can focus on is the punctuation and grammar!! haha

    • Robin Jane

      my name is robin jane,me and my loved cherished ourselves for good 2years and every thing was going on smoothly but we both had misunderstanding and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I plead to him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor. but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a try because I love my ex very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered for a returning love spell from this great spell caster called Dr.Zaba that made me a happy girl again to say it all my ex lover came back to me with so much love and a caring heart. Dr.Zaba indeed you are really the best spell caster to work with.you can contact this man via email if you really need to get your problems solve Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com he website http://makiaderspelltemple.webs.com

    • alice

      so close! we got the first sentence edited (great success!) but it’s still wrong! oh boy. “I grew up hiding in the hall when my dad sneak home late at night.”

      ps: melanie: it’s not that we’re all being prigs here; it’s that the article is difficult to read with grammar errors, verb tense confusion, pronoun confusion, ambiguous punctuation, run ons, and spontaneous tense shifts.

      not everyone is a writer, but those who publish articles on a well-read website are presumed to be.

    • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

      Same here. I know we all have brain-farts but if you’re going to post on a major blog where it will be read by millions of people, then do some proofreading.

  • http://fairlyodd.net Frances Bean

    I think this is a good message about not judging anyone until you’ve been in their shoes. That lesson would make a lot of parenting issues, including two that Mommyish covers frequently slut-shaming and the mommy wars a moot point. I stayed when my ex husband cheated on me for another 4 years and I would never make that mistake again. But it was only a mistake for me, it might not be for another person in a different relationship. I would never judge because it’s not my place and honestly, judgmental people suck.

  • Sasha

    Two things jumped to mind while reading this:
    1. It’s really, truly rude and ignorant to say “daughters need fathers”. Just go ahead and spit into the faces of single mothers and lesbian couples, why don’t you, because you’re outright saying they aren’t doing their daughters justice and frankly that whole idea is outdated, misguided, and plain stupid.
    2. Mommyish needs an editor for these articles like a heart needs a beat. This article is so choked with grammatical errors that it borders unreadable.

    • http://www.facebook.com/melski.madness Melanie Pearson

      you must not be one of those people that can read the optical illusions where the letters are scrambled except the first and last letter hahaha for you to pass judgement on this article because you think that that’s what she meant by that then you are just as bad as the people that really believe that

    • alice

      exactly. i perceive the author’s children as being very young right now.

      everyone
      in relationships holds their own spectrum of “grievousness” – a
      cheating kiss could be forgivable, but sex is not; verbal abuse could be
      tolerated but physical never; loveless marriage is okay as long as he
      loves the kids; etc.

      this spectrum is personal and shifting.
      right now, the author’s children are presumable young, and “he’s so good
      with the kids” is a conceivable justification for staying with an
      adulterous husband. but would that justification still hold when the
      kids are older? if the adultery is continued? “my teenage boys see my
      husband as a philandering womanizer who doesn’t respect his wife” vs
      “he’s such a great father to them though”

      of the endless compromises and sacrifices you must make for your children, your self respect should never be one of them.

    • lyzl

      So true. I think my perspective will change and you bring up good questions about self-respect. But I don’t think it’s sacrificing self-respect to try and make a marriage work even after adultery. But in some cases it could be….

  • C.J.

    It is hard to really know what we would do in any situation unless/until we are in that situation. It is also very easy and natural for children and young people to judge their parents especially when there are issues in the home. It is good that you were able to let it go as an adult so that what happened when you were a child doesn’t come between you and your husband or you and your parents now.

    • lyzl

      Thanks. I think you are spot on. It’s a matter of letting go of baggage and reevaluating my situation. I know I might change my mind and I’m open to that, but judging my parents and others isn’t my position. And I think I can safely say I’m over that, or at least in this area.

  • meteor_echo

    You know what? This is so full of shit that I want to throw up.
    My father was an abusive jerk. He bullied my mother into giving birth to me, despite her not wanting kids. He screamed at her daily for years. He ended up terrorizing everyone, and threatening to throw me out or kill me. My mother stayed with him “because I needed a father”, but I dreamed about their divorce since I was 7 or 8.
    They didn’t divorce. Instead they kept torturing each other, until I tried overdosing on pills. I was 13. I wanted to do it not because I wanted to leave it all, but because I wanted him to understand what he had done, that he was never welcome here, that everyone hated him and that I did not need a father like that.
    They separated when I was 16.
    Well, it’s up to you to realize that, if your husband cheats, and you stay, your daughter will pick it all up. Kids are smarter than you think. They listen. They understand the things that you want to hide from them. So, if that happens and you stay, don’t be surprised when your daughter calls either of her parents out on their bullshit. And believe me, she might.
    /cool story, sis

    • Selahmarie11

      She didn’t say her father was abusive, she said he cheated. Those are two VERY different things. You definitely had a messed up childhood, but that doesn’t mean that anyone who chooses to forgive and forget is “full of shit” or going to ruin their kids.

    • meteor_echo

      It means that the kid will see the crying mommy and the asshole daddy who sneaks out on her. What a wonderful “family” it will be. If I knew as a kid that my father was cheating on my mother, I’d tell him to stop or I wouldn’t talk to him again… or I would just do that. To me, people who stay with the repetitive cheater just have no self-respect and are behavioral enablers.

    • LiteBrite

      “Kids are smarter than you think.”

      Oh yeah they are. Even at young ages, we knew our parents were unhappy. They weren’t screamers, they weren’t abusive, and they rarely out-in-out fought in front of us (sarcasm was their weapon of choice). They tried their damnedest to hide it from us, but c’mon. You could see from the moon how broken their marriage was. I think there are very few people who can hide their unhappiness from their kids. I’ve yet to meet one person who came from a broken-marriage family that has said, “I had no idea how unhappy my parents were.”

      Would we have been better off with our parents divorced? I’ve asked myself that question many times and haven’t come up with a definitive answer. Our situation was far less extreme than yours though, which is why it’s harder for me to answer.

    • meteor_echo

      Exactly. Kids pick up certain emotional cues very, very fast and they are able to analyze those cues. And it is heartbreaking to realize that your parents are basically lying to you, saying that everything is okay, when you just KNOW it isn’t. It’s terrifying, too – knowing that even your parents, the people who you turn to when you feel bad, lie to you. I would not wish that on my enemy, and this is why I think that the whole “the child needs both parents, no matter how lousy they are” idea is outright harmful.

  • WhatWouldMommyWear

    “There are more hearts on the line than my own. ” Never were there truer words spoken. I got married, had three kids, was cheated on repeatedly, left, been remarried and have another child. I see that they (the older three children from my first marriage) never truly moved on, even after I have and found a personal happy ending…it’s marred by their pain and confusion.

    • alice

      do you blame yourself for this though? do you think they would’ve been better off growing up witnessing their father repeatedly sneak around on you? what lessons would that teach them?

      this is not your fault.

  • lala

    I just think that if you stay with your husband or boyfriend when he cheats, and your daughter sees it, she might think cheating is okay. It’s not okay, it’s a betrayal, and it shows a sort of spinelessness in the person who stays with a cheater. I was lucky enough to have parents who have been happily married (for the most part) for 35 years – no infidelities that I’m aware of. My dad did have major anger management problems for years though, and my mom held on for dear life. I wanted them to divorce and get it over with, but when I started acting out a TON as a teenager they came together to help fix me and they’ve been golden ever since. Unfortunately, I find myself clinging to relationships where the guy isn’t treating me right – in fact where he reminds me of my dad back then. I just got out of one that lasted 2 years, and I have made a vow to myself to never go there again. I think that girls mirror what their moms do, whether or not it’s intentional. Does any mom want to see her daughter staying with men who habitually cheat on her? No, I don’t think so. Just something to think about. Also, seriously please get an editor. I’ll do it! =) haha

    • lyzl

      Except, you forget, I was raised by parents who tried to make it work through adultery and not once did I ever think that cheating was okay.

    • Right, and not once did I think the way my father treated my mother was okay. I said, “I think that girls mirror what their moms do, whether or not it’s intentional.” Even though you say you don’t think cheating is okay, you also say you’d stay with your husband if he cheated. So…although you never intended to, you would be doing exactly what your mother did because “your priorities changed, there are more hearts on the line, whatever.” My point is, wouldn’t you rather teach your daughter that no woman (or man, for that matter) should put up with being mistreated? I just think it sends the complete wrong message to stay with a man who cheats. I don’t think you’d want your daughter to, would you? I know that if I had a daughter, and I found out her husband or boyfriend cheated on her, I would advise her to leave him and never look back. Clearly he wasn’t worth her time or love.

      Also, people internalize things differently, they react to and perceive situations differently. Although you may have hated your mom for staying and your dad for cheating, that doesn’t mean your daughter would. Maybe if he cheated and you didn’t kick him to the curb she would decide to never let a man treat her that way. Or, maybe she would put up with it because that’s what she was raised watching. You just don’t know.

      I think women need to be taught self respect above all else. Staying with a man or woman who cheats shows absolutely no self respect. Although my experience was different, I wish my mom had shown more self respect and left my dad when I was a little girl. They might be cute now, but my entire childhood was clouded with horrible fights and sadness. I wish someone had shown me that it is not okay to put up with people who verbally abuse you. Now I’m learning it on my own at 21 after a 2-year verbally and mentally abusive relationship. These lessons aren’t fun to learn as a teenager or in your early 20s, or even older I’m sure. It’s the sort of thing that you need to be taught as a child so you don’t fall into bad habits. Do you see where I’m coming from at all?

  • Jacki

    I can respect two people trying to reconcile a marriage that has broken down to the point of infidelity, and I’ve seen it work – but it’s very hard to imagine staying with someone who doesn’t want to actually change. I think for me that’s where the line between fixable and dealbreaker would lie.

  • kathleen

    So do you mean one instance of adultery, or a long-term affair where there is an emotional attachment, or a series of one-night stands, or regular visits to prostitutes? Adultery has multiple faces, and while the first example may not sink your marriage or your self-esteem, the others might. They might also affect your physical well-being, since you don’t know where your spouse’s adultery partner has been.

    I understand that your point is that your feelings are not the only ones involved, and that it might be more damaging to your child not to forgive adultery than it would be for you to tolerate a slip. However, to entirely sublimate your feelings and your emotional stability and happiness in order to fulfill an idea of good parenting could, in the long run, be catastrophic. If you truly don’t care, or if your spouse is repentant and willing to address whatever problems exist that led to the adultery, that’s one thing. But if you are putting up with betrayal after betrayal because your child needs his or her parent, well, you can work out generous visitation arrangements in the divorce agreement. That can work out pretty well for the children too.

  • angela

    This is a testimony that i will tell to every one to hear. i have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until i meant a post where this man Dr Magbu have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my love Husband home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His email: Reunitingexspell@gmail.com you can also contact him on his web site http://reunitingexspell.webs.com/ he is a good man and straight forward human

  • Prince Larry

    My name is Jessical, am from United States, Am very happy about the great work of Dr LOUISE, he Pray for my husband to stop cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend. Me & my husband have been married for 3 yrs. We have lived together for 16yrs and been together almost 17 yrs. I am asking Dr LOUISEto remove the ex-girlfriend from my husbands heart and remove her from our marriage. I believe there is an ungodly hold on my husband. He even admits that he doesn’t trust her and that I am a better woman than she is and says she is greedy, selfish and a liar. But he still sneaks to call her on the phone etc. She also is very persistent. This is her nature to stay connected to ex-boyfriends etc. He is not the first. My husband is a Christian and is just doing the opposite of what a Christian does. I believe he is drinking again. He says he has changed. He has been back and forth for the past year now. He even joined her Devil church. She believes Magic sent him to her. She wants him to divorce me and marry her. She thinks this is Satan’s plan. He says he doesn’t want to keep hurting me. He says he still loves and is in love with me. He said he doesn’t think he could stop seeing her. He was faithful to me for over 18 years. I think he is in a midlife crisis and the devil is messing with him. I do not want to divorce him but I am getting to the point where I had enough. I keep praying to God. My husband isn’t the Godly man I know. He needs to repent to God and turn away. This woman is being used by Satan. I pray she repents and turns to God and walks away from my husband. I pray for God to physically remove her from his life. I also order prayer for my son. I am asking Dr LOUISE to heal his mind, heart and emotions. I believe my family is restored with the power of Dr LOUISEthe spell caster. I am not giving up. The devil loves to smokescreen situations. Now my Husband is in love with me and my family and promise not to look up to other woman outside accept me her wife so today is a very happy day in my life to share this grate testimonies to everyone in this prayer ground. If you need the help of the Man called Dr LOUISE he is always there to help anyone who have problem once again thanks for to DR LOUISE who help to me and my family I am very grateful I fund you Doctor you are God sent. Joan monger contact this great spell caster that help me he can still solve your problem his email:superlovespelltemple@gmail.com

  • Paul Braxton. A

    hello my personal mail is (marleyblake555@yahoo.com) get in touch with me for advice… I urge Anyone reading this short Story to be patient with me and read it all, so that you can rejoice with me because I felt rejected once by my Wife the same way as any other do with heartbreak or divorce. before i came across a post by a woman about Dr. orinoko (orinokospelltemple@yahoo.com). The issue i had was with my wife and her co workers she always was texting them even after I told her how I feel about it. She will stop for while and then start all over. She always tells me how fat and old these Men are but I did know that she uses that as a bait to distract me. Today I have now found out she is setting up lunch dates with one of them. I no longer could take it because i love her so much. I do not understand why she keeps doing this to me then. She even comes home late after work then and she finally went away and broke up with me, well i been at psychic but all the same. what should I do? until i came across a post about love spells, i had to try it but to my surprise it worked after much patience and faith. you can also get help from him with orinokospelltemple@yahoo.com Good luck

  • Alice

    My God that sounds like a living hell – what your poor mother had to go through.

  • vice566567

    brian mccarthy

    Dr Obosianzen thanks for making my wish true! I was totally devastated when phillip left me. It was like all my world vanishing into sorrow and pain. But your kind words when I first emailed you gave me hope. I felt how sincere, honest and authentic he were from his first email. I know it sounds weird but out of all the casters I contacted, you was the only one to give me that impression of being so true and caring. More than your words, it s the fantastic work you accomplished for me that I will keep in mind. He brought my lover back and he made all my wishes come true. He is now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out at the cinema or at the restaurant. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! if there is anyone to get your ex back to you, it is obosianzenspelltemple@hotmail.com
    brian mccarthy Las Vegas

  • vice566567

    Dear
    I was Looking for Spells to Stop My Divorce and Save My Marriage. Now because of you I am living a happy married life and also my love life is restored. Thanks for Saving My Marriage. Your love and protection marriage spells have done wonders in my entire life. I will always run to you for help, I believe your ancestral powers are beyond human imagination,
    Bonny M. California-USA. contact him from: Email: templeofpeaceandsurcess@gmail.com

  • http://beenkissingafool.wordpress.com/ flaca

    Very thoughtful article.

    I don’t know how I missed it. At the time you wrote it I was reconciling and admitting back into our home, my unfaithful husband.

    We have two small daughters. So while I was working on my own pain I never thought that I would end the marriage because of his poor choices. My girls ADORE him. In spite of his infidelity he is a good father to them – patient, a good provider, loving and attentive.

    We are now a year past the end of his affair and honestly back on the road to being more like we were before the affair. Lots of counseling and honest conversations have come from him – he knows he has to do most of the work to make this marriage work.

    Was his affair a great thing? No, it was terrible. I still suffer a lot of issues over it.

    But he has learned to work through his own issues that drove him to his affair. Which was his fault not mine. I take no blame. But I do know he was in crisis and he did very stupid things to try to make himself feel better. What did that do us? They nearly destroyed everything and made our marriage worse instead. What did I do? I tried to take the high road, while it didn’t always work, it did help us heal and it helped me
    stay sane.

    I think its terrible that people post on here with their judgement and their ideas for what works for everyone. My husband has admitted his mistake and he is working on himself. The other woman in his affair, in my opinion is also a very damaged person.
    Two damaged people met and two damaged people tried to help each other
    and instead they made each other worse. As the saying goes, “Hurt people hurt people.”

    When I got married one of my vows was about being unfaithful and another was “for better or for worse.” This is my “for worse.” So far… we are surviving it. There IS
    life after infidelity. There are lots of us who survive and have good marriages. Adultery doesn’t only happen in bad marriages it happens in good ones too.

    I am glad that motherhood gave this author perspective for what her own mother did in the face of infidelity. Marriage isn’t all white lace and promises. It’s a long dedicated marathon and you may have to make some leaps that you never anticipated taking. I caution readers to be less judgmental.

    You don’t KNOW anything about what YOU would do until you experience it. I don’t wish the pain of infidelity on anyone. But I do caution those who JUDGE those of us who forgive infidelity to be careful. You might need a little dose of forgiveness one day, too.

  • Alicia

    My dad told my mom he wasn’t attracted to her anymore and wanted to see other women after 37 years of marriage. I strongly suspect an affair with my friend’s mother. Seeing her go on cooking and cleaning for that bastard and washing his dirty laundry makes me hate him even more than I did before. Yes, this situation has made me HATE my father. I wish she would divorce him. I think I might forgive him or at least forget him if she would just leave, or if he would leave. Knowing what a sham the marriage is and how much she sacrifices and hurts on a daily basis is so much worse than a divorce. I don’t want anything to do with him, but I don’t think the hate would be so strong if he would just do the right thing and leave, but he continues to be selfish and take advantage. My mother is a saint and deserves the best of everything and knowing how hurt she is breaks my heart. As such, I don’t ever desire to get married. Never. And I certainly wouldn’t ever want to put my children in that situation. I want to model self respect to my children. If you stay with a cheater, you have no self respect.

  • Pingback: Shipwrecked: When Affairs Result in Pregnancy… | JuneBaby2014

  • G

    idk if anyone will ever bother reading my comment but my parents aren’t divorced. My father cheated on my mother long before I was even born. When I asked why, she just said that she didn’t want to my brother (whom she was pregnant with at the time) be left fatherless. About two years later, I was born. As I grew up, I noticed that a lot of my friend’s parents were getting divorced and I was scared mine would too. So, I approached my mother as a little girl and cried and told her I didn’t want my dad to leave. Sometimes he would leave upstate for his job for a couple of days and it would scare me to death. As I grew, I’d say to about when I was 12, my mom told me what happened. I never really believed it would affect me but I was wrong. I dropped it for a little while, as if I stored it away. A couple of months ago, my brother and I found out my father has been cheating on my mom. It completely destroyed me. I’ve found proof, but in the back of my mind…I just can’t believe it. I can’t hate him because he’s my dad. It hurts me because I feel like he doesn’t care about my mom or me or my brother. I want to tell my mom but I know can’t get in the middle of it. I feel like if she were ever to find out, it would crush her. I think she’ll even hate me because I look like him. I tell her all the time that if I was here back then I would’ve left him. But after reading this I know that my father and I share this crazy bond. Had she left him, I wouldn’t be here but maybe she wouldn’t be with a cheater. I feel guilty and I feel afraid. I feel like I can’t even trust anyone and I feel like I don’t matter.

  • ANN

    Sometimes,Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart. That was my experience late last year. but thank god today i am happy with him again. all thanks goes to Dr. .EDIONWE, i was nearly loosing hope until i saw an article on how Dr. EDIONWE could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, i said to my self. i contacted him via email: edionwesolutiontemple@yahoo.com. words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. i have promised to share the good news as long as i live.

  • Rhody

    When the man I love broke up with me, my world fell apart. I had gone

    to several casters and I got no results. Until I found

    seraphintemple@gmail.com and gave another try to retrieve my lover and

    restore the passionate relationship I had with him. I’m glad I did all

    that he requested of me and trusted him. He performed a spiritual

    cleansing to banish negative energies that was fighting against our

    relationship and casted a love spell. After four days, the man I missed

    dearly started to call me and told me how much he really missed me and

    that he is sorry for leaving me in the cold. Help me to say Thank

    DR SERAPHIN of SERAPHINTEMPLE his Email address seraphintemple@gmail.com OR mobile number +2348131258106

  • Vivian Cosme

    Hello every one there my name is Vivian Cosme from Canada I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Africa this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR ONIHA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 9 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is :onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

  • nameme

    My name is really not important here cos all i can say is that if you need a spell caster to help you with your problem then the best one is MUTTON OSUN. He is the only reliable spell caster i know.This is not just cos he helped me i mean if you are reading this comment on the internet, you will definitely see other comment about how he has saved relationship with his spell,helped people win lottery and i read one a man named Sandburg don’t know if its his real name said MUTTON OSUN help with a spell to secure a job and bring back wife who left him.I am composing this comment to pin the fact that MUTTON OSUN has also helped me.After six years of marriage it hard to really understand when your wife is see another man and asking for a divorce just so see can be with him.It so hard for me cos i thought we were doing fine.Maybe i was too blind that i didn’t know something was wrong with us or i wasn’t giving her the attention she needed.Which ever which way there was something that i knew,she was breaking my heart and i still loved her with my life.I know people may probably say it unlike a man but i lost my virginity to her and sine then there have been no other in my life but her.I gave up everything for her My family, and everything and everyone that wanted us not to be.I could not imagine how she could be so heartless and so unfaithful i mean i gave her my life!.I was ready to let her go i left our house and her new painter boyfriend moved in.They turned my private store room to his art studio and started sharing my bed with my wife.He was practically living my life for me cos everything i had in our house was converted to his.With every day that passed grew mad at the painter cos i was still in love with my wife she is the only family i have left and in my head i thought i just lost her to another man after all the sacrifice i have made to see us together.Before i even thought of spell casting i tried the memory lane method but she was not even willing to talk to me for more than a minute or even have a bit with me it was almost like she was allergic to me after five years of marriage.The thought of another man making love to my wife consumed me i lost focus and was totally confused on what to do.I remember drowning myself with bottles of vodka to kill the pain and try to forget her but i pass out and wake up thinking about her.Just when i thought i needed to get rid of of my cheating wife with the help on the internet, i came across a lot of comment on how MTTON OSUN has helped to get exes back so at that moment i was no longer thinking of how to get rid of her instead i was thinking and willing to do anything just to have my wife back.When i contacted the spell caster that is MUTTON OSUN with the email i saw on the comment he called me, after i made him understand my problem.He told me he was sad for me cos i left my whole world and family for her.He asked that i get some materials i can disclose but it nothing to worry about cos they are totally harmless.I felt it was gonna be hard to send them down to him so i gave him the money for the materials.After two days he sent me a package containing my spell.He instructed me on how to make it effective and i swear on my dead sister grave the spell made my wife mine again,Its was so supernatural how it happened i can’t just explain from how she left the painter and everything beats my imagination all i know is that MUTTON OSUN spell is was powerful enough to get me my wife back.Contact him here for solution to your own problem godsofosunx@rocketmail.com

  • Margaret

    I am in the same situation. My father cheats on my mom, but he does it continuously and shamelessly. He does this because he knows she won’t leave him. I feel the same way you did about your mom-the whole copout thing, but your reasons, unfortunately, have not helped me to understand. I may never understand, honestly.

  • nancy Alfred

    Good Day,,, Mr name is Mrs Nancy Alfred, Am from Florida, I had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never liked him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man of voodoo online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell that will make my parent love him and allow me to marry him without any quarrel thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him most than before we are now happy married family,please help me in thanking him for his help, here is the email esangopriest@gmail.com

  • michael walter

    My husband broke up with me a month ago because of the little misunderstanding will had, he was dating other young lady and he never take me out again he was totally changed and he never listen to any thing i told him. one day he came and told me he is bringing in other lady in our home, i was so frustrated so when i came across Dr.airiohuodion (airiohuodiontemple@gmail.com) how he use to rebuild broken home and make their family to reunite together again, so i quickly email him and explain all my problem to him and he guarantee me that my husband will definable want me back after the reunite spell. After everything my husband (SAM) came back to tell me he still love and cherish me that he promise never to cheat on me any more i was so happy and i quickly email Dr.airiohuodion (airiohuodiontemple@gmail.com) and thank him for the wonderful spell, he was God sent and if you need his helping hand contact his direct email at.(airiohuodiontemple@gmail.com).

  • madela

    My husband broke up with me a month ago because of the little misunderstanding will had, he was dating other young lady and he never take me out again he was totally changed and he never listen to any thing i told him. one day he came and told me he is bringing in other lady in our home, i was so frustrated so when i came across Dr.airiohuodion (airiohuodiontemple@outlook.com) how he use to rebuild broken home and make their family to reunite together again, so i quickly email him and explain all my problem to him and he guarantee me that my husband will definable want me back after the reunite spell. After everything my husband (SAM) came back to tell me he still love and cherish me that he promise never to cheat on me any more i was so happy and i quickly email Dr.airiohuodion (airiohuodiontemple@outlook.com) and thank him for the wonderful spell, he was God sent and if you need his helping hand contact his direct email at.(airiohuodiontemple@outlook.com).

  • shechan

    what a wonderful world we are living, i still doubt this spell caster how he did it!!! i am Shechan Caroline am from California I am so happy to let the whole word know how this powerful spell caster saved my marriage. Everything was going down the drain as my husband can not stop cheating on me with other women. It became used to always heating on me. I tried to make him stop, but I couldn’t help the situation, the more I tried, the harder it becomes. At times we will fight and go apart for some months and we will come back again just because of our kids. One day a friend told me about this spell caster who helped her too, his name is Dr.kizzekpe, she said he uses white magic spells to solve spiritual problems. I decided to give it a try, I contacted him and he told me it will take just 2 to 3 days and I will see great changes in my husband. He actually cast a spell, believe me after 2 to 3 days of the spell, my husband was confessing different names of woman he has slept with. He begged for forgiveness and never to try it again. From that day till now, my mind is at rest. My husband dislike every other women on earth except me. And am so happy to have him for myself alone. The spell caster’s contact is kizzekpespells@outlook.com

  • Nadezhda Vyacheslav

    I have been reading about spell casting and its powers for a while but i never thought or it never occurred to me or i rather say that it happened that i never got myself in any situation that will make need the help of a spell caster. I read a lot of testimony on the internet on web pages, blog, and some on the Facebook page of some web site i linked with my Facebook with. I was more concerned about a certain spell caster MUTTON OSUN. That his name kept appearing on almost every comment form different individual claiming he has helped them a great deal in spell casting of all kind but mostly relationship problem that is from divorced man and women to lost love and cheating wife and husband was like don’t even know the word to use.All of them had just one thing in common that he help then resolved their problem that even therapist could not solve i guess the problem was passed the place where talking was not doing any good at all.But some how i believed them and their story cos the testimony were just too real and were from different people. I just enjoyed reading how he help those people and asking myself how possible it was that this spell caster could do all this with no effect of what so ever.Year they said his spell had no negative effect on the person who asked the spell to be casted and the person the spell is casted upon. I just wanted to know how it worked so i tried it and now i am among those writing this to tell those like me reading that this MUTTON guy is real. I am a single 32 years old mom of two two girls. I have always had a thing for this guy or i would say i liked this guy but he was kind of a mess cos of the lost of his wife.Like he had nothing to leave for any more.He never came out of this house and even went he did he doesn’t talk to anybody even i tried ti make a conversation he just smile so he doesn’t look cruel and then walk away.At night you can hear him breaking things and sobbing. I wouldn’t say i knew what he was feeling cos really i didn’t know but i knew i could make him happy again but no matter how i tried to get close he shuts me out. I really liked him and hated to see him miserable i mean he still have a chance to be happy with me.Contacting MUTTON OSUN was really easy for me cos all those other article had an email address i could use to contact him.So i send him an email to him but i didn’t get a responses immediately i mean it took three day before i saw his mail in response to my mail where he told me that he could help me make the guy to love.Am sorry i can mention my name or his cos i really don’t know who is writing this thing i am writing.Any way i was not allowed to tell any one till i have seen the result and important he told me i needed some materials for the spell casting.Most people tend to thinking his asking you to pay for the spell but not you have the choice to buy these materials and send them to him or you can ask that he get them for you if you can get the materials or the cost of buy and ship them to him is to much. In my case i gave him money to get the materials cos it was way less expansive. I guess he made some kind of harmless powdery substance with those materials and sent them over to me.He asked that i follow this instructions on how to make the spell active which i did. I must warn you it take at least two day to be effective cos it was after two days the man that never talks to me knocked at my door asking if i would like to watch movies with him at his place form there we kicked off.We have been together for 4 months now and still counting he is a really nice man i can am the luckiest woman in the world. I mean this only means that what MUTTON did is working and it changed both our life for good. I will also leave his mail here you contact purpose >> godsofosunx@rocketmail.com

  • florence James

    my fiancee cheated on me emotionally,with a woman he met at his week long work meeting.after that,he was always preoccupied testing her on his phone.even when we’re in bed.he told me he was sorry,he had been weak,became emotionally attached &had exchanged phone numbers.he said he’ll stop talking to her,but only if she texts him first.i was so mad!!n have since discovered they are still going on.m so hurt,n we’re supposed to be getting married in Marcy.i just want to call off the wedding and my friend ask me to use DR.AIRIOHUODION LOVE SPELL to protect him against other women so i contacted DR.AIRIOHUODION and i explain everything to him, and he told me not to worry that my boy is coming back to love and cherish only me more than before after the spell, so i did what DR.AIRIOHUODION ask me to do and my boy came back telling me he love me that he we not cheat on me again, i have watch him for the past 3 months now he is the best man i have ever meet. u can reach DR.AIRIOHUODION on his direct email: airiohuodiontemple@gmail.com

  • jessy

    After 6 moths of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a prophet called saibaba of saibaba temple which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular prophet. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he prayed to stop divorce and get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called trisha , she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email.After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. prophet saibaba you are a gifted man and thank you for everything you had done in my life. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine prophet, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on templesaibaba@yahoo.com

  • michael

    who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me
    and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others
    said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily
    married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my
    family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house
    because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular
    time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care
    of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in
    my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he
    took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, DR
    Okundonor, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come
    back to me after the wonderful work of Dr Okundonorgreatspell, my wife
    came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i
    advice you if you have any problem email him with this email:
    dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take
    things for granted and it will be take from you. i wish you all the best.

    Contact: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com (or contact him through his mobile:+2348072099116

  • Robin Jane

    my name is robin jane,me and my loved cherished ourselves for good 2years and every thing was going on smoothly but we both had misunderstanding and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I plead to him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor. but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a try because I love my ex very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered for a returning love spell from this great spell caster called Dr.Zaba that made me a happy girl again to say it all my ex lover came back to me with so much love and a caring heart. Dr.Zaba indeed you are really the best spell caster to work with.you can contact this man via email if you really need to get your problems solve Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com he website http://makiaderspelltemple.webs.com

  • Robin Jane

    my name is robin jane,me and my loved cherished ourselves for good 2years and every thing was going on smoothly but we both had misunderstanding and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I plead to him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor. but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a try because I love my ex very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered for a returning love spell from this great spell caster called Dr.Zaba that made me a happy girl again to say it all my ex lover came back to me with so much love and a caring heart. Dr.Zaba indeed you are really the best spell caster to work with.you can contact this man via email if you really need to get your problems solve Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com he website http://makiaderspelltemple.webs.com,

  • Mrs Greg Moses

    SPELL CASTER THAT HELP ME BRING BACK MY HUSBAND

    Hello every one i want to share my testimony how i got my husband back, my husband left my and my 2 kids and go for an other woman, when i saw both of them my heart was broken down, i told my best friend who was also having the same problem long time ago, she help me by given me Dr Ekpiku contact and i email Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com, he told me what to do after the casting of the love spell my husband that left home for 4 month run home and was asking for my forgiveness. thank you Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com for building my marriage contact him he can also be of help to you.

  • Mercy brown

    I’m Mercy brown by name I have a few testimony to share with you all about myself, I was in a relationship with this guy and for 3years and we were about getting married when we both have misunderstanding with each other and he ask me for a divorce and we both agreed and after 4months I head that he was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr. Madurai the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is maduraitemple@yahoo.com.

  • Jasmine Fencio

    my name is Nila. my husband of 6yeas want a divorce after having two kid for him all my though was he is joking but i never new he is so serious about it. after two weeks asking for divorce, he left me and my kids and traveled for over two months he stop his phone calls, the kids i have for him he don’t care about them he turn his back in all the responsibility in our matrimonial home. my notice was he serious about the divorce. i make all the effort to bring him back but there was no help! nothing i could do about my husband, and i love him so much i would let him go! because without him i cant have a rest. so one beautiful morning i was checking on internet i saw a lady testimony on social network testify about her life how dr dove bring back her husband i was so impress on her testimony. my mind was thinking double because i never bee in spell work but since there was no option for me i email dr dove and told him about my problems on the email i saw on the lady testimony later on dr dove replayed me and ask for my husband details and i decide to send the details to dr dove after that he email me what to do for my husband to come back to me and love me more i believe in him because all he said about my family was true. i make all he ask for to cast the spell after three days my husband call me on phone crying that he is very sorry for what he did to me and the kids the next day after he called me he came back home now will are living happily. ones again thank to dr dove, now i believe on spell casting because it really work for me my promise is to keep on testify good about dr dove. you can also contact him fpr help; (dovesolutiontemple@outlook.com)

  • Leonids Balodis

    After reading BRUNELDA NATO comment on laurenconrad. com about Metodo helping her cast a spell to fix her relationship, i was hmm.. will say considering doing the same thing cos my life was a total mess. On one hand my girlfriend now soon to be fiancé parent did not want me to be their son-in-law cos i did not belong to the upper class community and on the other hand, i moved from Latvia where my life and job was to be with my soon to be fiancé in Azerbaijan. I had no home there but just the apartment we both bought together. If am not mistaking her father is a famous lawyer to almost every rich person in Azerbaijan. She was going to help me get a job in her father law firm before she broke up with me because she was going to marry one of her father client. All this was before i contacted Metodo to see what he could for me. As i said her father was against our relationship and she was going to marry a 53 years old man for his money. She has always loved materials things but i never thought she would pick money over me. We were still see each other not as lover but secret lovers. I loved her too much to be sharing with a disgusting old man because he was rich. I don’t mean to disrespect any elderly person i just don’t like it when rich old or young persons try to take or take someone you hold dearly to your heart cos they have the money to do so. In my own case it happened that it was an old rich man wanting to take the woman i loved and still loved with all my heart and strength. She didn’t want to marry me but she wanted to be my lover in secret. I knew she loved me dearly but she was also in love with all the money and assets the man had. she knew i was content with what i had and what she had but she wanted to be so rich like adding riches ti what she already had. The date of the wedding was already set when i realized that if i don’t do something to stop the wedding i would lost her forever. It happened that i came across BRUNELDA NATO comment on laurenconrad. com as i search the INTERNET on how to make a woman realize living without you will be a great mistake where she wrote how metodo the spell caster helped her fix her marriage and how she came face to face in contact with Metodo and also how real and awesome he is. I just felt compelled to also contact him for help maybe i was not thinking clearly or i felt it was my only chance to make sure she soon to be fiancé doesn’t marry anyone else but me or maybe i felt both ways. I know something was clear to me that whatever action i took was my last chance to win her back. There and then i contacted Metodo cos i had no money to travel all the way to Chad. I just trusted BRUNELDA NATO testimony that he really exist and can help me solve my problem. It turned out that BRUNELDA NATO was right. Now i can also truthfully tell you that Metodo is really something out of ordinary he is the greatest spell caster you can ever meet. He sent me some items that he told me to use to pray with within the 7 days he was casting the spell i asked him to help me cast with the materials he told me to provide to for the spell casting. Within those seven days of incantation pray my soon to be fiancé developed something i don’t know what to call in her head that made the love she had for me resurface i say resurface love because she became that girl i fell in love with back in Latvia she told me she was going to call of the wedding but was scared what would happen to her father relationship with the man. But all those worried faded when Metodo sent the spell that looked like a powdery substances with instruction on how to make it effective. She called off the wedding and nothing happened it was like no one cared anymore not the man or her parent almost like it idea was yipped of their head. Whether anyone believe me or not it does really matter the only thing i care to say here is that Metodo is the ultimate spell caster anyone can ever ask for help. Am going to leave his mail in case Metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com