Top 10 Awful Things Tweeted About Snooki And Her New Baby

Since giving birth to her son Lorenzo, Snooki has been busy on Twitter posting updates about breastfeeding, cuddling her baby, and about how happy and “blessed” she is to be a new mom.  The Twitterverse is responding to these updates by suggesting that Snooki kill herself, or that she kill her baby.

I know who Snooki is. I’m vaguely aware of the gist of the Jersey Shore-A-Verse, I’ve caught the tail-end of an episode or two, and I assume it’s about a mess of not too terribly smart young adults who enjoy tanning, dancing in clubs, drinking a lot, screaming at each other, having sex with people, and crying. If I have missed something please feel free to point it out to me. Judging from the vitriol being anger-typed at Snooki on Twitter, I think I missed the episode where it’s revealed that Snooki is a descendent of Hitler, a serial-killer, one of the Manson girls (Is Snooki the other name for Squeaky?), a kitten puncher, best friends with Roman Polanski, and that she never returns her library books on time. She must be a very, very bad person.

Because she is a bad person (I believe this is due to the fact she drank a lot on her reality TV show and had sex with guys, two things that we can all agree with Twitter that are terrible and disgusting and should really be punishable by stoning) Snooki can now receive advice from all of the people who watched her TV show and got really angry at her having sex with guys and drinking. And having an orange complexion. And wearing a lot of eye makeup. And being short. And then having a baby. I’m not sure why people loathe Snooki so much, but I don’t think her baby, who has been breathing on this planet less than one month, really deserves the sort of fuckery being hurled at him in 140 character or less increments by a bunch of people he doesn’t know.

(Photo: Twitter)

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    • Rebecca

      These people need lives. I’ve never watched the jersey shore, but from what i’ve seen and read about snooki and her baby she seems to be doing just fine.

      • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

        agreed. I am not sure what type of person finds time to post nasty shit about total strangers on the internet based on the fact they didn’t like them on their TV show.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carmen-Finnigan/841528248 Carmen Finnigan

      No one deserves this.

    • koolchicken

      Oh please, let’s stop pretending that anyone on this site cares now. Just prior to her giving birth one the the bloggers featured here wrote an article about how her baby would grow up to become a porn star. Why? Because she chose to give him an Italian name. According to that bigoted logic my brother Marcello and cat Vincenzo should be appearing in an X rated cinema any day now.

      • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

        I agree that to make fun of someone like that and make sweeping generalizations about one’s future as a porn star is ignorant and rude. To wish harm and death on someone, let alone someone’s CHILD like these fools on Twitter are doing, is really shitty, though. Definitely not cool.

      • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

        I didn’t write that article,but I’m super excited you have a porn star cat!

    • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

      Not a fan of Jersey Shore, I think it’s a train-wreck. From what I’ve seen, Snooki sounds like she’s going to be a dedicated mom. Having a child CAN change a person. I know it did for me.

      • http://www.xojane.com/author/eve Eve Vawter

        Oh word, me too. I’m a much better ( calmer, nicer) person because of kids.

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    • Becky

      I’m absolutely appalled at the cruelty these people are displaying, I’m no fan of Jersey Shore, but I still wish Snooki the best with her new baby boy. These people need intensive therapy to deal with their problems because something is seriously wrong with each and every one of them.

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    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jen-Clark/100000568225513 Jen Clark

      Yes, snookie was kind of trashy on jersey shore, but people don’t realize that jersey shore was scripted to an extent. But honestly, who cares if she drinks or has sex? Lots of women drink and have sex, if this automatically warrants death, I don’t think there’d be any women left, including me. Since when does that mean someone is a bad mother? I’ve seen snookies new show, I think it’s called snookie and J-lo, and both the parents seem really dedicated to lorenzo and are very happy to have him. Watch out mommies, make sure you dont tell anyone about your weekend wine or -gasp- your bed time with the hubby or boyfriend, or else you might get the same slag as snookie