“I’m scarred for life,” my fiancé told me after I asked him how long it took for him to get over his vasectomy. He had the procedure done almost 11 years ago after the birth of his second child. Of course, we recently had a baby, so he did have a reverse vasectomy so we could.
The difference between getting a vasectomy and a reverse vasectomy is a lot. To get a vasectomy, it only takes about 20 minutes. When I went with him to the hospital so he could get his reverse vasectomy, the entire procedure took about three and a half hours and he was put under. It also cost $5,000. And, now, here I am asking him to get ANOTHER vasectomy. Am I demanding or what?
We have been having birth control talks lately and it pretty much comes down to this: As of present – gasp – we are using the pull out method. Not great considering the dude really does have super sperm. I was pregnant two months after his reverse vasectomy, which was great considering the doctor told us it could take up to a year for his sperm to, I don’t know, get working again, along with my age. Because he got a reverse vasectomy for me, I played nurse for him for about a week. He couldn’t play his beloved soccer for two months, which I felt bad about. I don’t doubt he was in pain. But yet, even though we weren’t supposed to have sex for three weeks, we were back at it, after his reverse vasectomy, about three days later. So, really, how much pain was he in? Or was he only not in pain when we were having sex?
The truth is, I can’t tell you, because I don’t have a penis. Just like men can’t really comprehend, no matter how much we are screaming and yelling and grabbing their chest hair, how much contractions hurt, us women can’t fathom what it’s like to be kicked in the balls or what it’s like to have a doctor perform an operation on your dick.
The doctor who performed his reverse vasectomy is actually an acquaintance of mine from the gym. We’ve run on the treadmill beside each other a few times. (As a side note, the gym is a wonderful place to meet people who can get you quick appointments. If you say, “We go to the same gym,” it seems to work as well, if not better, than saying, “You are friends with my mother.”) The doctor fit my fiancé in quickly.