In Which I Predict Jessica Simpson’s First ‘Post-Baby Interview’ With Katie Couric

Jessica! You're a mother now! Tell us how deliriously in love with your baby you are! (And you better be grinning while you sell us on that mommy glow!)

(photo: WENN)

Being a mother is so magical/inspiring/humbling (pick one or all three). I'm so in awe/wonder/amazement (pick one of all three) with my baby that I don't even care about things like leaving my house with vomit-encrusted clothes because my nanny always carries a spare. Oh wait, no, I don't have a nanny! Sorry! Can we redo that part?

(photo: PNP/ WENN.com)

You've had a baby which means that your body has strayed from conventional ideals of beauty and weight. But let's talk about how you're killing yourself to fit back into that lycra. When can we expect to see paparazzi images of you in a bikini again?

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Well, Katie, I've been eating (insert Weight Watchers endorsed food here) every day while indulging the occasional sugar craving with (insert another Weight Watchers endorsed food here). I also do (insert trendy excercise regime here) with (insert name of well-known celebrity trainer) four times a week and of course I drink lots of water.

(photo: WENN.com)

Jessica. You have a new baby daughter, a maternity line, a shoe line, and countless other business ventures. How exactly are you managing to do it all?

(photo: WENN)

Oh, it's definitely crazy in my house. It's not like I have a staff of 12 or anything that makes sure I have milk in the fridge or clean diapers. I'm doing all that myself and sometimes my fiance helps. It's definitely hard but I I'm getting used to juggling! Juggle, juggle, juggle!

(photo: WENN)